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How to make jenkem [Published]

Unknown Points
edited February 2011 in Man Cave
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Jenkem is a totally awesome, yet foul tasting concoction made by only the most hardcore of drug users. By huffing this brown butthash, you can achieve mind-blowing highs and euphoria, as seen in the following trip report. If it's on Erowid then it must be true, so listen up.
Under the advice of several friends, I decided to give jenkem a try. I went down to the Lusaka sewage pond and filled my two liter coke bottle half full. Walking back to my hut I couldn't help but feel a little anxiety, but what did I have to lose right? Upon arrival I sit down and begin to flood my lungs with the sickly sweet aroma as my seven brothers looked on. In seconds my mind was filled with thoughts previously unfathomable. In an instant I saw what needed to be done to alleviate the poverty of my country and people. With the knowledge of kings laid out before me, I now know what I must do. Jenkem has brought me the enlightenment of my ancestors, and for this I am grateful.
Anyway, enough of the backstory. Let's get shitting.

How to make jenkem

Jenkem only consists of human feces and urine, so you don't have to search far and wide to find what is a naturally occurring drug. You're going to need the following things;
  • Plastic bottle - Larger bottles can contain more jenkem so keep it in mind.
  • Balloon - This will collect the butthash jenkem gases which you will be able to huff later. It's much like huffing nitrous canisters, but with jenkem instead.
  • Shit
  • Piss
After you've got all the required materials together, you will need to fill up your bottle with poop and pee. You can either use fresh shit which comes from your own backside, or go to the sewage facility to scoop some up. Whichever method you use, remember that human waste is a little messy and you should wear gloves to handle it. Once you have shat and urinated in there, give it a little shake to mix it up and put the balloon over the top. Leave the bottle outside or in another warm place for a week or two, letting it ferment and get all grongled. You can tell how much gas has collected by checking the size and shape of the balloon.

Once you're happy with your jenkem collection, clasp the balloon shut and pull it off the bottle. Now you can inhale that shit deeply, giving you a good butthash high!

:D

Comments

  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Sweet, I need a shit so I might try this.
  • Unknown Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Sweet, I need a shit so I might try this.

    Definitely bro. Just make sure you don't get it all over the floor as shit is messy. You might want to use a funnel or something if it's a really soggy shit, as the liquid might run around.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Jenkem is a great drug. Before jenkem I was always :mad: or:( Then I did Jenkem and I went from :( to:). Then when I run out I'm:mad: until I realize my poop can make more and I become:hai:
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Mate, you are scraping the fucking barrel when it comes to making guides! LOL!

    Also I have the thread archived in luurvely .jpg format as well as the picks of Pickwick if they will help? Don't want to fuck about posting without consent though.
  • Unknown Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Mate, you are scraping the fucking barrel when it comes to making guides! LOL!

    Also I have the thread archived in luurvely .jpg format as well as the picks of Pickwick if they will help? Don't want to fuck about posting without consent though.

    Sure, post them in here if you want to :thumbsup: Just give the appropriate credit.
  • fr0st_Bytefr0st_Byte Sumpin' c00L 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    I was addicted to this horrible drug for 17 and half years. I even went as low to dress in a white lab coat and convince strangers I was doing laboratory research on the effects of fecal matter on the environment to obtain their poop since I had such a high tolerence I could not produce enough myself.

    The withdrawals were horrid. They included hot chills, my mothers legs hurting, narcolepsy, Dirty Sanchez stalking me, and visions of PickWick in my sleep.
  • Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskin Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    this place wouldnt be totse without a jenkem guide. good shit :thumbsup:
  • Unknown Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    this place wouldnt be totse without a jenkem guide. good shit :thumbsup:

    Thanks dude. Just trying to liven up the community :D Plus, this guide is already near the top of the search results for "How to make jenkem" :D
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Jenkem's for niggers and gingernut wiggers like pickwick. Infact, jenkem is the one invention we can credit to niggers. They hardly even created that either, I seem to recall them just scraping up sewerage into plastic bags and coke bottles.

    If you see the beaches of Liberia I bet these niggaz be getting jenked all the time.
  • fr0st_Bytefr0st_Byte Sumpin' c00L 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Jenkem's for niggers and gingernut wiggers like pickwick. Infact, jenkem is the one invention we can credit to niggers. They hardly even created that either, I seem to recall them just scraping up sewerage into plastic bags and coke bottles.

    If you see the beaches of Liberia I bet these niggaz be getting jenked all the time.


    Dude it's a joke. Around here at least.

    Quit taking it so goddamn serious.
  • VizierVizier Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:


    If you see the beaches of Liberia I bet these niggaz be getting jenked all the time.

    Instead of hunting seashells those niggas hunt pieces of shit in their beaches :thumbsup:
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Dude it's a joke. Around here at least.

    Quit taking it so goddamn serious.

    Jenkem ain't no joke.:mad: Firs your just huffing it having a good time. Next thing you know can't go more than a few hours without injecting pure African jenkem. Trust me I know.....:( The devils chocolate is an unforgiving drug.
  • fr0st_Bytefr0st_Byte Sumpin' c00L 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Jenkem ain't no joke.:mad: Firs your just huffing it having a good time. Next thing you know can't go more than a few hours without injecting pure African jenkem. Trust me I know.....:( The devils chocolate is an unforgiving drug.

    I know...see what happen to me in my post at the start of this thread....
    said:

    I was addicted to this horrible drug for 17 and half years. I even went as low to dress in a white lab coat and convince strangers I was doing laboratory research on the effects of fecal matter on the environment to obtain their poop since I had such a high tolerence I could not produce enough myself.

    The withdrawals were horrid. They included hot chills, my mothers legs hurting, narcolepsy, Dirty Sanchez stalking me, and visions of PickWick in my sleep.

  • Bob_DoleBob_Dole Acolyte 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    image

    me n sum of ma niggas hangin

    image

    'you niggas! you sit in deese hole! sit in deese hole!'

    image

    obligatory black jesus painting
  • duuudeduuude Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    That is simply amazing, who knew you could get high off of shit and piss?!
  • PennywisePennywise Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Dude it's a joke. Around here at least.

    Quit taking it so goddamn serious.

    That shit is funny.
  • AnarchyMasterAnarchyMaster Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    It's best to make fake jenkem out of chocolate ice cream
  • MantikoreMantikore Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    what foods should i eat the day before to make the best jenkem?
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    what foods should i eat the day before to make the best jenkem?

    High fiber, and lots of rare red meat. Also lots of vitamins.
  • CaesarCaesar Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Somebody should consume a fuckload of drugs before taking a dump and see if it improves the jenkems potency.
  • Unknown Points
    edited February 2011
    Eat a shit load of glue and solvents the day before you take a shit. This increases the potency of the jenkem and gives you a much better high.
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    I wonder if mixing decaying flesh would improve potency.

    Anyone up for some grave robbing?
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    Hmm...I see the guides missing "how to flavour your jenkem" :confused:
    Ok! Eating curry or alcohol will make your hash gas harsh, so try to avoid eating spicy foods. Eating apples seems to give it a smooth flavour, I would highly recommend fruit as a flavour sauce.
    I hope this helps. ;)
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord 0 Points
    edited February 2011
    said:

    Hmm...I see the guides missing "how to flavour your jenkem" :confused:
    Ok! Eating curry or alcohol will make your hash gas harsh, so try to avoid eating spicy foods. Eating apples seems to give it a smooth flavour, I would highly recommend fruit as a flavour sauce.
    I hope this helps. ;)

    I've heard pineapple makes it sweet.
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