How would you rate your home cooking skills.

edited June 2011 in Life
10/10, I can easily cook elegant banquets for my friends and family, people bring me food and let me drink their booze just to eat my cooking, I bake from scratch, and my kitchen has had more money put into it than my car.

7/10, I know which side of the knife is sharp, I have a few pet dishes I do very well, and I can barbecue like a motherfucker, I use some pre made stuff but whatever, everybody likes my food. I can follow a recipe without calling my mom, and I own a few nice kitchen toys.

4/10, I get by, I cook a lot of spaghetti, shake and bake chicken, fried pork chops, and baked potatoes, once in a while I get ambitious and try something I saw on tv, but I still eat a lot of frozen meals and takeout, my barbecue has birds nesting in it, and I can tell you 50 ways to prepare Kraft Dinner and Ichiban.

0/10, Cooking is for barefoot pregnant bitches, I boiled water once, and the resulting ecological catastrophe took four months to clean up, I do not care much about food in general, it all turns into poo anyway.

C/O
"me, 8.5/10, cuz I still can't bake worth a shit"

Comments

  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited May 2011
    I give myself a 7. I can follow any recipe if given the ingridients and have the ability to make my own and the food comes out decent. I have trouble with baking in I don't have a timer. There are specific meals and snacks I like to make such as roasted pumpkin seeds and my own chili (though anyone can make chili you have to know what goes well with what to make good chili) and lemon pepper chicken.
  • OsirisOsiris Acolyte
    edited May 2011
    I am a 7, I can cook fairly well over an open fire though. I mostly eat rice fruits and vegetables and sometimes home made bread. I usually grow a ridicules amount of okra in my garden just because it is so easy and fast, do you know any good recipes for okra?

    I had some guda? cheese from Wisconsin with crystallized calcium in it the other day, it was so amazing.
  • edited May 2011
    Osiris wrote: »
    I am a 7, I can cook fairly well over an open fire though. I mostly eat rice fruits and vegetables and sometimes home made bread. I usually grow a ridicules amount of okra in my garden just because it is so easy and fast, do you know any good recipes for okra?

    I had some guda? cheese from Wisconsin with crystallized calcium in it the other day, it was so amazing.

    Okra, fuck, I have only used it in gumbo. It is here in one of the big supermarkets year round, and I see a lot of the local Punjabi's buying big bags of it, so I suspect it goes well with curry. Curried eggplant and okra bartha would probably be tasty, let me get back to you on this, as I said, I see it all the time, might as well learn to cook it. Isn't it slightly toxic if undercooked?

    That Gouda sounds great, was it from a small local operation? The best cheese I have ever tasted was a Gouda made by a local farmer that my grandfather traded some stained glass work for. It may interest you that the crunchy bits are not calcium, but tyrosine, an amino acid formed by the breakdown of caesin, the main protein found in milk. As a cheese ages, the emulsion of protein/fat/water can come undone a bit, allowing these to form. It is an indication that the cheese has been aged for a good long time.

    C/O
    "all I have in the fridge is a piece of goat cheese about the size of my thumb, balls, I want some cheese, blue Gouda, fuck me I want some blue Gouda and some nice aged Chevre, on saltine crackers with some home made peach jam."
  • SHANE14SHANE14 Regular
    edited May 2011
    I dunno, its hard to say. Give me a 6 or 7.
    I always macguyver my meals up, making something out of nothing. I know what I like and I cook accordingly. My meals are always fucking delicious to me but I'm really no masterchef. I simply cook according to my own whims.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited May 2011
    Probably an 8 I think, but I dont have people around often for food as my space is mine - I do go to the homes of other to cook. Looking in my fridge at the moment, it is quite full. The tastiest thing in there would be my home made confit - got my hands on quite a few cheap dug legs a couple of weeks back and I love confit.

    W/r the ocra, I stick it in curry - normally make a monkfish and okra curry if I can get my hands on a nice bit of monkfish. Dredge the monkfish in tumaric and salt, fry it off, fry some sliced onions with some onion seed, add a couple of chopped tomatoes, a sliced chilli and the ocra - I normally chop each bit into two or three pieces then add the monkfish back in.
  • OutbackOutback Acolyte
    edited May 2011
    SHANE14 wrote: »
    I dunno, its hard to say. Give me a 6 or 7.
    I always macguyver my meals up, making something out of nothing. I know what I like and I cook accordingly. My meals are always fucking delicious to me but I'm really no masterchef. I simply cook according to my own whims.

    This.

    I can generally knock up food with what is on hand, I can make almost anything from scratch (except fucking Meringue) but a lot of the time I don't bother. The difference between a hand made cake and a good packet mix is about 5% in taste, a fair bit of extra effort for fuck all in taste.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited May 2011
  • thewandererthewanderer Regular
    edited May 2011
    5/10 I know a few things I can cook in a manner so that I'll enjoy it. If nobody else likes it, tough shit.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited May 2011
    Probably 5/10 as well. My mommy does most of the cooking :o
  • OsirisOsiris Acolyte
    edited May 2011
    Isn't it slightly toxic if undercooked?

    http://vegpeace.org/rawfoodtoxins.html

    Okra is mentioned at the very bottom so I assume so but the article isn't finished yet, this page was kind of cool though, who knew so much shit could fuck you up.

    It better be some damn good cheese to trade stained glass for it, and I will have to smack my friend for the misinformation.
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited May 2011
    2/10. I can boil eggs, make rice, fried chicken, and lentil soup. No one eats my shit but it's good! :thumbsup:
  • edited May 2011
    I'd say a 6, just because I don't have the time or money to try anything besides what my mom taught me. Also ELL OH FUCKING ELL at TDR pretending to be as good a cook as C/O, who may be a jackass but is one with years of actual cooking experience.

    It's like there's nothing he doesn't feel a need to pretend to be good at.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited May 2011
    When you get 5 decades uner your belt you might know a thing or two yourself Jr.
  • Sarahlov3lySarahlov3ly Regular
    edited May 2011
    I would say a 7. I can make somethings pretty good but other things can set off the fire alarm.
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited May 2011
    I'd say about a 6.5
  • edited May 2011
    I'd say a 6, just because I don't have the time or money to try anything besides what my mom taught me. Also ELL OH FUCKING ELL at TDR pretending to be as good a cook as C/O, who may be a jackass but is one with years of actual cooking experience.

    It's like there's nothing he doesn't feel a need to pretend to be good at.

    To be fair, I did say home cooking, and TDR might be just as good as I am in his own kitchen, I am gritting my teeth a little. The only one here who could compete with me in a restaurant is Cypher, as he is young, and probably faster than me, I know more tricks, but it would be a toss up.
  • edited May 2011
    I can't cook for shit. Seriously, everything I attempt to cook either sucks or is burned. I need to get some skills down before I move out though, or else I'll be eating microwave meals forever. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound too bad!
  • edited May 2011
    trx100 wrote: »
    I can't cook for shit. Seriously, everything I attempt to cook either sucks or is burned. I need to get some skills down before I move out though, or else I'll be eating microwave meals forever. Come to think of it, that doesn't sound too bad!

    Just ask dude, anytime, any question.
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited May 2011
    I'd say a 5/10, and that most of the other members are full of shit.
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited May 2011
    As far as home cooking goes, and by C/O's original standards, probably around an 8.

    Don't get me wrong. Put me in a professional cooking environment and everyone is going to be fucked. Enjoy your shit tasting food poisoning.

    However, in my relatively stress free kitchen, I do quite a bit of my cooking from scratch. Many of my "signature" stuff did originally come from recipes when I first made them, but since then I've take time to change them up and make the dishes taste bomb as fuck. Nothing as far as "cream your pants, please fuck my wife for cooking for us," though. Haven't put that much time into it.

    This reminds me of something I must go make a thread about....
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited May 2011
    3/10. i have a lot to learn.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited May 2011
    7/10 And I only say that low because I don't really cook much other than American food, and on occasion have been known to over season things.

    Everything I do cook is awesome, I have written my own recipes for things, and I am usually the one who cooks dinner in my house nightly.

    I could never work is a professional cooking environment though. I like being able to take my time and make sure everything is perfect.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited May 2011
    8.5
    Since I'm only at 3/10 you should teach me to improve with some AWESOME recipes.
  • AlbinoEthiopianAlbinoEthiopian Regular
    edited May 2011
    8.5

    I didn't know you were an amazing cook. Post some recipes to share. I'd like something a little out of the ordinary that is good that you normally wouldn't think of. I'm always looking for new unique things to try out. :thumbsup:
  • AlbinoEthiopianAlbinoEthiopian Regular
    edited May 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    7/10 And I only say that low because I don't really cook much other than American food, and on occasion have been known to over season things.

    Everything I do cook is awesome, I have written my own recipes for things, and I am usually the one who cooks dinner in my house nightly.

    I could never work is a professional cooking environment though. I like being able to take my time and make sure everything is perfect.

    What kind of American foods can you cook? What are your favorite things to cook? Do you have any suggestions for desserts or any baked sweets. You should really make some guides and post some recipes. :hai:
    Any tips or anything you can give out to help? :thumbsup:
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited May 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    7/10 And I only say that low because I don't really cook much other than American food, and on occasion have been known to over season things.

    Everything I do cook is awesome, I have written my own recipes for things, and I am usually the one who cooks dinner in my house nightly.

    I could never work is a professional cooking environment though. I like being able to take my time and make sure everything is perfect.
    do you cook southern food?
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited May 2011
    Compaired to a chef: 3.5
    Compaired to an avarage 22 year old male: 8
    Compaired to my workmates: 12

    I can do what a book tells me to do, but after a few times I like to change it round and suit my tastes more.
    I enjoy cooking and am happy to cook for friends and family, but would find it stressfull doing it as a job.

    I allways like trying new things (currently steaming loads and also slow cooking) and often head to the local markets to get new foods. I also have a small garden I use for cooking, mostly herbs but also a few veg.
    I have a few gismos in the kitchen but dont use them often, allthough I allways use the right knife for the job.

    Since I work shifts I normally cook a large meal that will last me the 3 days im at work, most of the other guys live off sandwiches or ready meals so quite often I make a bit extra for the people who are wanting to know whats in my box.

    I cant present food to save my life, my portions are too big and I just slap in on.
    Oh, and I wont cook eggs because I hate the smell of them.
  • SemSem Regular
    edited May 2011
    I'd probably rate myself as a six based on the OP's standards primarily because while I've no problem with cooking I am a bit limited in the number of dishes I know.
  • edited May 2011
    I have written several guides, and know how difficult it is to come up with the right words to describe what you are doing, and I do not fault any member for not wanting to put in the time to do it. But, if you consider yourself to be a good cook,(6+ on the C/O index) writing a method is as enlightening for the writer as it is for the reader, it really stretches your descriptive powers to describe something like "beat egg whites to stiff peaks" in a way that someone with little cooking experience can find useful and clear.
    Pictures help, but I advise cropping them in paint first.

    I encourage any of the members who posted here and have an interest in food to contribute a recipe or guide, this is sometimes somewhat thankless as methods do not generate a lot of discussion and drop down the page quickly. I will stick any recipe or guide for a month to encourage contribution, and am still going to paste together a "totse.info cookbook" one day in which all contributions will be immortalized.

    C/O
    "1.5 hours, 2 responses, ppllbbh, I should have said something nasty about niggers"
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited May 2011
    Rather than have a new thread for each recipe (unless they're longer and amazing) why not do a single thread collaboration and publish it as a guide later?

    And I'm totally down to contribute. Just need to read through my base recipes and figure out everything I changed and in what quantities.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited May 2011
    What kind of American foods can you cook? What are your favorite things to cook? Do you have any suggestions for desserts or any baked sweets. You should really make some guides and post some recipes. :hai:
    Any tips or anything you can give out to help? :thumbsup:

    All kinds of shit.
    Favorites? I make really awesome pies.
    Guides, recipes? What would you like to see?
    fanglekai wrote: »
    do you cook southern food?

    That's a pretty broad description. Yes and No.
  • edited May 2011
    Rather than have a new thread for each recipe (unless they're longer and amazing) why not do a single thread collaboration and publish it as a guide later?

    And I'm totally down to contribute. Just need to read through my base recipes and figure out everything I changed and in what quantities.

    Jah!, I have thought a lot about how to encourage posting of recipes, good or otherwise. I figured most contributors would like to have the "headline" of their own thread, and allow for comments/suggestions on their specific method, a good post could get lost if the thread gets too long, but I have thought about it. I even toyed with the idea of a "post a link to your favorite recipe" thread for those who didn't want to write their own, and dismissed it as totally lacking in balls.

    What would really tickle me is more non foodies posting their pet recipes, even if it is for "my moms crunchy noodle bake", real down in the trenches stuff that more totseans can relate to.

    I will be going through the entire forum soon, and compiling the totse cookbook v1.0, and I am going to start a thread appealing for recipes, well, right after I am done here. I am glad you are going to contribute, and if you want to help with the cookbook, please PM me.

    C/O
    "you can't stop us, we're on a mission from god";BB
  • acid_dropacid_drop Regular
    edited May 2011
    I have not read this thread at all. But my cooking skills are amazzzzing. I'm buddy buddy with the best butcher around, and half the year I get the best fruits and veggies from my dad and little brother(different locales).

    I'm a combat veteran, and cook like bitch that has done it forever......

    In my current job though, I know I won't come home to a good meal though. As stupid smart, and gorgeous my fiance is.... She is an awwwfuullll cook. awful :(. I think she could probably ruin canned soup.... Poor retard girl. :/
  • WANWAN Regular
    edited May 2011
    I think I am somewhere between 4 and 7. I can put raw meat into the pot, turn up the heat, and cook it till it's no longer raw. does this count as cooking?
  • t3chn0p4nd4t3chn0p4nd4 Semo-Regulars
    edited May 2011
    8.5 or a 9... I'm pretty much a cooking goddess. Yep.
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited May 2011

    What would really tickle me is more non foodies posting their pet recipes, even if it is for "my moms crunchy noodle bake", real down in the trenches stuff that more totseans can relate to.

    C/O
    "you can't stop us, we're on a mission from god";BB

    This is what I struggle with. I've got a million recipes I could post but who would be able to do them justice besides you? Even simple food requires technique. I think the best thing people like you and I could do are making basic cooking tutorials. I've been toying with the idea of buying a webcam for months now so I could do tutorials on cooking basics. Knife skills, sharpening, how to poach an egg, how to blanch vegetables, simple breads, pasta dough, folding, ect.
  • edited May 2011
    This is what I struggle with. I've got a million recipes I could post but who would be able to do them justice besides you? Even simple food requires technique. I think the best thing people like you and I could do are making basic cooking tutorials. I've been toying with the idea of buying a webcam for months now so I could do tutorials on cooking basics. Knife skills, sharpening, how to poach an egg, how to blanch vegetables, simple breads, pasta dough, folding, ect.

    I hear ya', and I have wanted to do a video tutorial for some time now. When I do a method, I try like hell to make it as descriptive as possible, and that takes an assload of work. Pictures help, but I am not always about to cook what I want to write a method for. When I read a recipe in a magazine or cookbook it always assumes a basic amount of cooking knowledge, when I write one for totse, sauteé becomes; 'fry on medium heat(a little more than halfway) in a frying pan with a little oil'.

    The problem with a lot of the cooking vids I have checked out on screwboob is that they never give a list of ingredients. Not a problem if you are doing a stir fry, but I pity the poor fuck that tries to follow some of the baking methods I have seen. "now add the sugar, and beat on high till the egg whites are glossy", awesome, just how much sugar was in that bowl, you fucking twat, did you use large eggs?, what do you do if you don't have a $300 KitchenAid mini Hobart mixer?

    A better way would to have the video method as an addition to a well written text of the method, and I hope to do something like that soon, as soon as I can figure out how to get it hosted somewhere other than jewnoob.

    I do like having methods posted here, and I hope a few have actually been used, or at least that they inspired someone to try something similar. There is a fair number of users here with interest in food. OI was a bit of a backwater forum on the original totse, the new OI is not BLTC, but I am very happy that it gets the traffic it does.

    C/O
    "madness in my method makes it tasty"
  • ShadyLadyShadyLady Locked
    edited May 2011
    This is what I struggle with. I've got a million recipes I could post but who would be able to do them justice besides you? Even simple food requires technique. I think the best thing people like you and I could do are making basic cooking tutorials. I've been toying with the idea of buying a webcam for months now so I could do tutorials on cooking basics. Knife skills, sharpening, how to poach an egg, how to blanch vegetables, simple breads, pasta dough, folding, ect.

    Post your recipes & make some videos. I'd like to see them. I'm a good cook. :o
  • edited June 2011
    My home cooking skills are shit beyond shit; I never have any energy and I rarely put more effort than making say, sunny-side-up eggs.

    Microwaves ftw, although all the cooks I know would probably castrate me for saying so...
  • edited June 2011
    I give myself a 9/10.. :D
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited June 2011
    We really need a "what are you eating?" thread.
    Not for stuff like take aways and crap that people post on twitter, but real homecooked meals that you are proud off.

    IMG20110606_002.jpg
    Thats my bacon noodle salad, didnt have much in the fridge and the oven was being used so I knocked that up for lunch.

    IMG20110606_001.jpg
    Thats my slow cooked lamb shank and mash.

    Seal the shank in a pan on high heat untill brown.
    Place in a pot with red wine just covering it, add a couple of onions chopped into quaters, some rosemary and some mint.
    Cook on low (125 c) for at least 3 hours with a lid on, longer if you can .

    I did two for about 5 hours and they were so tender you could "cut" them with a spoon.
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