Worst case sex scenario

MayberryMayberry Regular
edited July 2010 in Life
Let's say you're having sex. At the end, you blow your load in her face. Both of you enjoyed it. She wipes off the cum with her fingers and sticks them up her cunt.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO? :eek:

Comments

  • BaconPieBaconPie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Nothing, she's on the pill.

    You are having sex, she is on top and goes too far down (towards your legs) on your dick. You hear a cracking noise and feel intense pain from the base of your penis. What do you do?
  • Death SnuggleDeath Snuggle Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    BaconPie wrote: »
    Nothing, she's on the pill.

    You are having sex, she is on top and goes too far down (towards your legs) on your dick. You hear a cracking noise and feel intense pain from the base of your penis. What do you do?

    Call 911 and say you have a sex related injury to your penis and 7/10 time they'll know what happened before you get a chance to tell them.

    So what happens when you fall asleep after banging this super hot chick and her boyfriend is blowing you when you wake up?
  • TLVTLV Regular
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    Let's say you're having sex. At the end, you blow your load in her face. Both of you enjoyed it. She wipes off the cum with her fingers and sticks them up her cunt.

    WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO? :eek:

    Immediate Falcon punch with all the might of Thor.


    BaconPie wrote: »
    Nothing, she's on the pill.

    You are having sex, she is on top and goes too far down (towards your legs) on your dick. You hear a cracking noise and feel intense pain from the base of your penis. What do you do?

    Scream like a cheerleader about to get raped.
  • BaconPieBaconPie Regular
    edited July 2010
    So what happens when you fall asleep after banging this super hot chick and her boyfriend is blowing you when you wake up?

    Have a poo.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    A girl is doing a stripshow for you. It is so erotic it almost makes you cum without any physical contact.

    Her penis untucks from between her legs.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    A girl is doing a stripshow for you. It is so erotic it almost makes you cum without any physical contact.

    Her penis untucks from between her legs.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Get some dome and fuck he/she in the ass


    Your fucking a super hot chick in her bedroom when her 70 year old grandmother comes in wearing latex body suit and holding a whip and ballgag. what do you do?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Use the defibrillator on her.

    You're having sex with a ridiculously hot girl. All of a sudden you shit yourself and the bed. What do you do?
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited July 2010
    Keep going.

    You're about to get head from a pretty good looking girl and she takes her teeth out what do you do?
  • Death SnuggleDeath Snuggle Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Greenbull wrote: »
    Keep going.

    You're about to get head from a pretty good looking girl and she takes her teeth out what do you do?

    Get a big ass grin and proudly announce that you like gummies?;):p
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    Greenbull wrote: »
    Keep going.

    You're about to get head from a pretty good looking girl and she takes her teeth out what do you do?

    Great. She can nibble on your balls and suck your dick at the same time.

    You wake up after a night of intense sex to find the cops standing over you and arresting you for sex with a minor.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    Great. She can nibble on your balls and suck your dick at the same time.

    You wake up after a night of intense sex to find the cops standing over you and arresting you for sex with a minor.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Ask if they'd like to join in for round 2.

    You're having fantastic sex when the condom slips off. You tell the girl and she flips out. You say don't worry I'll put on another one. She says, "I'm not worried about getting pregnant. I think I just gave you herpes."
  • edited July 2010
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited July 2010
    NONONONONONO..

    You are secretly fucking a feminist. Shes an activist, she's read all the books, she positions herself in a way(during sex) to snap your dick off and laugh at you.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Lethargica wrote: »
    NONONONONONO..

    You are secretly fucking a feminist. Shes an activist, she's read all the books, she positions herself in a way(during sex) to snap your dick off and laugh at you.

    slapi.jpg
  • NumberjumboNumberjumbo Regular
    edited July 2010
    idiot above me didn't continue the story ...

    What would you do if a chick was sucking your dick and started cheese-grating it with her teeth and wouldn't stop and you bled in her mouth and she drank the blood?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Ask if I could drink her period blood.

    What would you do if you were fucking a girl with her on top and she suddenly flipped over and shit on your face?
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    What would you do if you were fucking a girl with her on top and she suddenly flipped over and shit on your face?

    Find a cup.

    You're looking to spice up your sex and she suggests using a strap-on and assfucking you. You are a guy.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Take pics.

    You start to get naked with this hot ass girl when Chris Hansen pops out and asks you to sit down.
  • Pill PopperPill Popper Regular
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    A girl is doing a stripshow for you. It is so erotic it almost makes you cum without any physical contact.

    Her penis untucks from between her legs.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Get a gun and unload a clip into the tranny
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Get a gun and unload a clip into the tranny

    You fucked up. Answer my post.
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Take pics.

    You start to get naked with this hot ass girl when Chris Hansen pops out and asks you to sit down.

    Enjoy the cookies and lemonade.

    You go to pound it in a bitches mouth but you underestimate your position and penispunch her right in the schnoz breaking her nose. What do you do?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Lick the blood up and nosefuck her while you're at it.

    You masturbated 13 times that day, and when you go to cum in the girl you cum an ounce of blood. What do you do?
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Tell her it's because she's very beautiful :o


    You're with 3 midgets, crazy foursome sex is happening, they are all probably blonds? I donno. Anyway one of em falls over dead from a heart attack.
    WHAT DO YOU DO.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Eat the evidence. By evidence I mean body.

    You're having sex with a stripper when you realize the condom fell off. You don't want to tell your wife you now have herpes, but you can't tell her you fucked a stripper. What do you do?
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Fortunately, not telling her and not being able to tell her are the same thing. Woo I just got off scot-free!
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited July 2010
    Tell her it's because she's very beautiful :o


    You're with 3 midgets, crazy foursome sex is happening, they are all probably blonds? I donno. Anyway one of em falls over dead from a heart attack.
    WHAT DO YOU DO.

    1 down , 3 to go.

    Your shoving it down a girls throat and she starts throwing up blood. The scary thing is she is now more aroused. What do you do?
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Assume she's a zombie and gtfo of there (after decapitating her and smashing her skull).
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited July 2010
    Assume she's a zombie and gtfo of there.
    Ask a question after you answer.
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Your wedding was canceled because your fiance found out that you were cheating with the post master general. However, while you're spending a quiet afternoon together with your post master, she comes in and demands that you allow her to take you back.

    Who do you choose, the wife or the post master general :eek:
  • jatorjator Regular
    edited July 2010
    Gary Oak wrote: »
    1 down , 3 to go.

    Your shoving it down a girls throat and she starts throwing up blood. The scary thing is she is now more aroused. What do you do?

    Go until you finish and watch the cum/bloody aftermath.

    You're going down on a chick when some greenish purple shit starts to ooze out her pussy, she grabs you by the hair an demands that you fuck her.

    What do you do?
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    jator wrote: »
    Go until you finish and watch the cum/bloody aftermath.

    You're going down on a chick when some greenish purple shit starts to ooze out her pussy, she grabs you by the hair an demands that you fuck her.

    What do you do?

    4346414776_3039cb0b71.jpg



    You're enjoying your time with this chick when her big, burly wife walks in.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • Name's TakenName's Taken Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    4346414776_3039cb0b71.jpg



    You're enjoying your time with this chick when her big, burly wife walks in.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Tell her to get back into the kitchen


    You're fucking a one night stand in the dark while drunk, then the light turns on and it turns out SHE'S BLACK.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Tell her to get back into the kitchen


    You're fucking a one night stand in the dark while drunk, then the light turns on and it turns out SHE'S BLACK.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?

    Distract her with fried chicken as you make your escape.

    You bring a girl home from the bar to fuck when she suddenly pulls off her prosthetic arm and both legs. She asks you to help her with the other arm. What do you do?
  • StaplesStaples Regular
    edited July 2010
    Picture this scenario.. you meet a girl at a farm, and then you quickly start getting down and dirty in the amish countryside.. then you find out she is a minor

    practice safe sex
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Distract her with fried chicken as you make your escape.

    You bring a girl home from the bar to fuck when she suddenly pulls off her prosthetic arm and both legs. She asks you to help her with the other arm. What do you do?

    Ask her if she comes with extra attachments or if they're sold separately.


    You put some drugs in her drink, but quickly realize that instead of lowering her inhibitions, it turns her into a She-Hulk.

    WHAT DO YOU DO?
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