Sex With The Ex

MartialshotMartialshot Acolyte
edited July 2010 in Life
So recently my ex and I have been going at it hard and often. The sex is 1000 times better then it originally was in our relationship becuase in the end we really dont give a fuck about each other but really just want to fuck and get off.

So here's what Ive learned about ex sex.
  1. NO emotions (no hugs when she leaves, comes in fuck, and go)
  2. Cuddling is for relationships, you're just fucking
  3. Get off, this is the point her getting off just means she'll come back
  4. Do not mention the relationship
  5. Do no mention other partners
  6. FUCK hard, do what you want, try new stuff

Feel free to contribute to this list.

Comments

  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    7. Stick it in her pooper.
  • TruthWielderTruthWielder Regular
    edited July 2010
    8. Don't hesitate because of past relationship hangups. For that matter, don't hesitate.
  • NumberjumboNumberjumbo Regular
    edited July 2010
    9. I did this with my first gf, then got pwned.

    Recommended.
  • TLVTLV Regular
    edited July 2010
    10. Suggest threesomes.
  • woodwood Regular
    edited July 2010
    11. Do not make eye contact.

    Actually, try to avoid touching her at all. Wear a full-body latex suit (lubricated (and maybe ribbed (for her pleasure))).
  • JayJay Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Ex sex is a blessing given to us by god. It saves you so many times when you're running through a dry period. And you both know how to sex each other :cool:
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    12. Do not kiss on the mouth.
  • MartialshotMartialshot Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    12. Do not kiss on the mouth.

    This^
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Jay wrote: »
    Ex sex is a blessing given to us by god. It saves you so many times when you're running through a dry period. And you both know how to sex each other :cool:

    ^this

    No really I only did it once but the sex was way way better after we were broken up.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited July 2010
    Ex Sex is the most brilliant creation ever, especially if it's done for mighty manipulative reasons, much like Sir Rolf's Ex Sex.

    For the ex of Sir Rolf cheated on Sir Rolf with a friend of Sir Rolf, but Sir Rolf accepted it and after a jolly old sword duel with said replacement of Rolf, Rolf acted to be the friend of them. Sir Rolf noted that half a year later, they were in a happy relationship, so this was the time of Sir Rolf to strike.

    Sir Rolf proceeded to sex Rolf's ex, causing said happy relationship to drown to the depths, as if it was pulled by mighty leviathan itself! Of course, said old friend of Rolf tried to once again jolly old sword fight with Rolf, but Rolf's brilliance in the arts of gentlemanly warfare led to the victory of Rolf, that and Rolf's years of practicing in those non-eastern arts of Sir Marshall.

    But AYE! Sir Rolf occasionally sexes said ex, or Rolf did, until Capt'n Rolf was once again dating, now Sir Rolf doesn't, for Sir Rolf is an honourable and gallant pirate, savvy?
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Rolf wrote: »
    Ex Sex is the most brilliant creation ever, especially if it's done for mighty manipulative reasons, much like Sir Rolf's Ex Sex.

    For the ex of Sir Rolf cheated on Sir Rolf with a friend of Sir Rolf, but Sir Rolf accepted it and after a jolly old sword duel with said replacement of Rolf, Rolf acted to be the friend of them. Sir Rolf noted that half a year later, they were in a happy relationship, so this was the time of Sir Rolf to strike.

    Sir Rolf proceeded to sex Rolf's ex, causing said happy relationship to drown to the depths, as if it was pulled by mighty leviathan itself! Of course, said old friend of Rolf tried to once again jolly old sword fight with Rolf, but Rolf's brilliance in the arts of gentlemanly warfare led to the victory of Rolf, that and Rolf's years of practicing in those non-eastern arts of Sir Marshall.

    But AYE! Sir Rolf occasionally sexes said ex, or Rolf did, until Capt'n Rolf was once again dating, now Sir Rolf doesn't, for Sir Rolf is an honourable and gallant pirate, savvy?

    A little crazy that you went that far but I LOLed none the less at said story.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited July 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    A little crazy that you went that far but I LOLed none the less at said story.

    Rolf states one should not forgive and forget the atrocities caused against oneself, for one must respect oneself enough to hurt other people, for this is the way of the world, according to the forever correct Rolf. Hurt not the friends or lovers of Rolf, or Rolf Rolfself, for Rolf's blade is sharp and feeds on the blood of injustice!
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Im glad you made it to totse man. I expect many laughs from Sir Rolf.
  • iSoapeiSoape Regular
    edited July 2010
    Sex with the ex... has happened 1... 2... 3... exes in my life. Strikeout?
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    No thats more like three homeruns.
  • iSoapeiSoape Regular
    edited July 2010
    I can live with that. Ironically, the 3rd ex... funny story. We're back together now. See, she broke up with me, said she couldn't handle a relationship at the moment but still liked me very much and wanted me in my life.

    I've put up with that kind of thing before and wasn't about to again. So I said... no thanks, sorry we couldn't work out. Met another girl 3 days later who I started dating. Ex finds out, calls me, cries to me, asks for me back, says she made a mistake. Soooo I went back to her... for now. We had sex. It was great.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Well haha then your still in the game. Thats only two strikes because this on you are with so its like you were never apart. You just cant do it again.
  • TruthWielderTruthWielder Regular
    edited July 2010
    Fuck yeah Rolf! Wow, I love how I'm only seeing the awesome part of the zoklet userbase make their way over here. Now if only we had greyfox, psycho8b, lavared and a handful of others...
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Fuck yeah Rolf! Wow, I love how I'm only seeing the awesome part of the zoklet userbase make their way over here. Now if only we had greyfox, psycho8b, lavared and a handful of others...

    I got Greyfox on here. He's registered under ArmsMerchant.
  • TruthWielderTruthWielder Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    I got Greyfox on here. He's registered under ArmsMerchant.

    captain-picard-full-of-win-500x381.jpg
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