Erotic self-harming

edited October 2011 in Life
I lambast others for their devient sexual fantasies but here's one of mine. I find girls with self-harm cuts especially attractive. Particularly those who cut words or designs into themselves. Usually they're just your garden variety emo 'paperclip cutters', but occasionally you come across a serious one. Serious self-harmers (at least females, in my experience) almost always cut themselves on the rest of their bodies as well as just their arms. On one pro-anorexia forum I used to... dabble with, there was one member who was also a cutter (they're usually co-morbid). The cut and burn scars on the rest of her body put those on her arms to shame. I'm not anorexic but it was a psychological playground for me.

Is it some kind of 'predator' thing? I don't think so. I do it to myself to achieve higher states of mind during manias. It's character building. It keeps you physically aware. It increases the vividness of the moment. You sort of regret it afterwards, of course. Having to wear long sleeves in summer and all that. I could never be topless among normal company for example.

I met a girl early last year who was a serious cutter. I've always wished I could see her body cuts but unfortunately nothing ever came of the relationship so I'll never know. I wonder if her boyfriend actually appreciates them for their 'emotional art' value or simply pities them.

I'd very much like a sexual experience that includes 'self'-harming each other in various ways. Methodically though, not just slashing each other randomly with razors (I think Amy Winehouse did this once). Before the climax of course, but increasing in severity as it approaches. This is the only type of foreplay that would interest me. It would have to be someone meaningful though - nothing even close to casual would do it for me. Not that I approve of casual relationships anyway. It would forever connect you to that person, no matter what may come of the relationship, how much time passes or how socially or geographically distant you may become.

Am I alone?

Comments

  • edited September 2011
    Guess I am alone then... :(
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    It could be, people who cut themselves are considered damage goods. If you can't take care of your body your not capable of doing anything else. I do find them attractive, I just find them to be selfish idiots who're only good at cutting themsevles and then crying about it. Grow some balls and change your life you piece of shit (not referring to you OP, just the general cutter)
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    I don't find anyone attractive who does not have a sense of self worth.
  • NecrosisNecrosis New Arrival
    edited September 2011
    I agree with DFG
  • 4206942069 Regular
    edited September 2011
    I had this epiphany once with blow and beers, cut myself to enjoy whatever primal feeling came from the sight of an open wound. Of course there has to be one, such as licking it like a dog, but I knew it would be subconscious. I found the experience of an upside down cross on my chest and accidentally large cut on my arm to be a bullet shattering the fucking walls of people. Going to Big Boy at eight in the morning with blood all over my arm and through my shirt was great for the waitress. Obviously I knew there was something going on with all that, but by going to eat breakfast, she still had to serve me. So the bullshit common server greetings were gone as she declared to myself and her own reality some kind of alarm to wake up and smell the blood in your coffee.
    Fucking and cutting I could see as escalating to a near death experience, which sounds like amazing sex.
    Super primal and hot, but not sure I'll be doing that any time soon.
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited September 2011
    People who self-harm usually mean they don't enjoy life.

    If they don't enjoy life, why would I bother with them? They're clearly too far in.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited September 2011
    People who self-harm usually mean they don't enjoy life.

    If they don't enjoy life, why would I bother with them? They're clearly too far in.

    Self mutilation can have many other meanings than having no self worth or being depressed. A lot of people overlook the most common forms of self mutilation tattooing and piercing! Both of these done for many reasons.. I've had euphoric experiences after about six hours into a tattoo which quite literally have got me addicted to the pain of getting a tattoo ... Even just the noise of the gun get my blood flowing and makes me feel intoxicated .... Sometimes it has nothing to do with your mentality and is purely a physical need ... And I think this is what the OP is talking about ... But with this trust in the person come all those phycological and spiritual bonds he was talking about ... By the way I am not a slasher.
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited October 2011
    I would like to see a pro-anorexia forum. Someone post links. googling gets me nothing.

    I have no opinion on cutters. My initial reaction is that of mild discomfort.
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