Whens a good time to ask her back.

nenglmnenglm New Arrival
edited October 2011 in Life
Me and my girlfriend broke up recently because i was stupid and i let anger overcome everything.
I've calmed down for a few weeks, i took classes, i can safely say i can control my anger and i will NEVER burst out again.
I know i can control my anger because i've been putting myself out there and testing how calm i am toward people who are dicks/asshole in general.
It just dont bother me anymore, and when it does... the problem goes away in a few minute and i cool off without bursting out.

At the moment i know she needs her space and time to think.
I've never really had a serious relationship until now, whens a good time to ask for another chance?
I dont want to do it right now because lets face it, whos going to believe you're a changed person in just a few days/week.

Also, deep down inside i know we both still love each other. Theres just alot of stupid things that are in the way that we cant avoid, such as her parents.

Comments

  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited October 2011
    It doesn't sound like you're dealing with you anger, but more like storing it up. That's not healthy.

    But if you're sure, I wouldn't just start talking to her then just go "So, lets get back together?" you'll want to ease yourself in. Tell her about how you can control your anger, then take it from there. Try not to be TOO long though, or she might find someone else.
  • edited October 2011
    Give her a little while, but not too long. Start meeting up and seeing each other once again, and try and show her that you're a changed person so that you develop trust between you guys once again. Just ease into it, don't rush, don't take it too slowly either.
  • nenglmnenglm New Arrival
    edited October 2011
    at the moment. we're still talking to each other through email, i dont think she wants to talk to me in person or on phone tho, but i aint tripping, as long as she reads what i email to her i know she still cares or have feelings.
    I'll just take my time, obviously 1 month is my maximum wait time, too long and being friendly with her means she'll just forget about me easier and move on faster. too short is too desperate. 29 more days to go
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited October 2011
    Did you beat her up or something?

    As soon as you beg, it's all over. Don't do that.
    Don't break contact, go to public places with her and "hang out".


    For some reason i have a hard time getting angry. As soon as i realize i'm angry the feeling vanishes. It's probably because i'm generally a little melancholy (read: "have perspective"), that takes precedence.
  • nenglmnenglm New Arrival
    edited October 2011
    no i never beat her, or even thought about it.
    My anger doesnt make me hurt people physically.
    I'm not begging for her to to come back with me either.
    Seeing her is kinda out of the question, so at the moment all we can do is email each other, she dont have a phone so texting is also out of the question.
    Her parents are too strict, shes basically prisoned at home. so we cant really hang out, even when we were dating i couldnt take her out that much.
    I guess waiting is the only thing to do atm and keep in touch with each other with small talk.
    Waiting for the big moment to come, that's when ill make my move.
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited October 2011
    You should go over to her house and kick in her door. Beat the fuck out of her dad if you have to and then confront her. Be like: IM A NEW MAN BITCH.....WHAT!!!! If she doesn't beg for your forgiveness right away, thats when you beat the living shit out of her. But with love, not anger. When she is on the floor bleeding from her nose and ears, be all like: "Look what you made me do girl, you best behave from now on. Then its time for make up sex, oooooohhh yea!:cool:
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    You should go over to her house and kick in her door. Beat the fuck out of her dad if you have to and then confront her. Be like: IM A NEW MAN BITCH.....WHAT!!!! If she doesn't beg for your forgiveness right away, thats when you beat the living shit out of her. But with love, not anger. When she is on the floor bleeding from her nose and ears, be all like: "Look what you made me do girl, you best behave from now on. Then its time for make up sex, oooooohhh yea!:cool:

    this really is the only way to show a woman you love her ....
  • nenglmnenglm New Arrival
    edited October 2011
    LOL ill try that right now haha
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited October 2011
    Does she know you've taken anger management classes?
    If not, bring it up.
    Serious props to you for doing so willingly, by the way.
    Dealt with waayyyy too many people who could either use it or were forced into it and thus learned nothing.
    Give it another week or so, and see if she wants to meet up.
    When you do, make sure she sees that you've changed for the better.
    Do this a few times, to help drive home the idea of consistency.
    After a few times (and only after) bring up the idea of getting back together.
    This is going to be far less a matter of literal time so much as using small milestones.
    If she can see you're all good and staying that way, with a bit of charm, her feelings for you wont fade, even if it takes another few months.
  • nenglmnenglm New Arrival
    edited October 2011
    Yeah, we're talking right now we're also planning to meet up in a few weeks to talk about this.
    She's looking forward to seeing me, so i guess i still have a shot with her.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited October 2011
    relationships aren't the same once you break up, saying that. find a new woman. chances are your first g/f wont be the best you'll have.
  • edited October 2011
    ^ that's often true, yeah. Don't be disappointed if things don't work out as well as they were before, because there's a good chance that they won't :thumbsdown: It goes both ways though - the second time round might be 10 times better. I can only wish you the best of luck :)
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