Keeping it up is an effort

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited November 2011 in Life
Ok so I need to bump my "bump when you had sex" thread but I'm in a real dilemma.
My ex was a fucking freak in the sack. Imagine the dirtiest girl and add more to it. Get the picture? Yeah. Well since we broke up which was a rather drawn-out process, I've had some severe issues.

Ok well to keep it short and to the point, it's actually an effort to get it up and keep it. I can only get a twitch if some girl knows how to press my buttons and halfway through I'm just not interested. The anxiety and related reminds me of my opiate days where I'd be so fucked I couldn't get a hard on and therefore the anxiety would make it a vicious circle.

Short of talking to a Doctor which I think is a tad embarrasing for my age, what the hell can I do? Maybe it's all my exposure to the most hardcore of hardcore stuff (everything minus scat and watersports) and feeling like I've burnt out before my time.

But in a way, at least it keeps me sane. No woman ties or troubles.

Comments

  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Stop looking for just carnal sex and start looking for love.
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited October 2011
    You just have to realize that your brain controls your dick. If you start to worry about if its going to work or not it wont. Going to the doctor wont help, and pills wont either. Just relax and don't get caught up in the mental process of worrying about it. When your mind starts to wander down the path of worrying just make your brain stop,and Think about something else. Once you break your mental cycle of stress and worry you will be fine. Don't give these thoughts any validity have a beer and when the right girl comes around your in business.

    You might be pining for your x a little also, and that to be expected. Sometimes a little depression will throw a wrench into your works. You just have to remember these things will pass and look forward to being happy in the future.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    We have all been there dude ... Weather it's a serious problem or a little hiccup ... When I was first experimenting with sex .. Around 15 I was so fucking nervous/excited it wasa close feeling to extreme terror no joke.. That I would start over thinking what I was doing ... I learnt to use this in a possitive way ... I still get a rush of feelings so strong before I engage in sex that I litterally can't think of anything else... But I clear my mind of thought completely and focus on feeling and reacting to those feelings instead of thinking and acting on those thoughts .... My advice is to practice meditation and when you are about to get lucky try to enter into a sort of trance of clear mind 'fuckery'
  • edited October 2011
    I know what you mean, I'm pretty sure it's something ALL guys have experienced (or will experience) at some point in their lives, and I agree with you when you say it's not fun at all. I had this problem once - I couldn't get it up because I was thinking about it too much. I think it all started when I was too drunk to get it up in the first place. It was seriously the most uncool thing ever, it killed the mood instantly and if I can remember correctly, the girl I was trying to nail was pretty upset - she thought she had done something wrong, wasn't attractive or something. I felt like shit, and every time I'd get into bed with a girl afterwards would be a huge worry-fest for me. I'd constantly worry about fucking it up, until I realized the fact that, as Jugg said;

    Your brain controls your dick.

    I stopped worrying gradually, turning any negative thoughts into ones of sexual awesomeness. Bit by bit, I got back on track :D

    My advice would be;

    Stop worrying about it. Don't let it get to your head.
    Take a nice break from sex, wanking, porn, etc etc etc.
    Get back into the groove in a few days/a week, however long it takes you to build up a nice fat urge to either whack one off or screw a girl.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Difficult to advise, not knowing your age or circumstances. But yes it is very common, and usually just lasts a short while. You only need to worry if it continues for some time, as it may be an indication of some other problem. Diabetes or low blood pressure can be causes amongst others. Usually though it's more to do with the mind. Stress or slight depression are common contributors. In the short term something like viagra may be useful to get you functional and boost confidence.
    I regularly take 1/4 of a viagra tablet in a morning first thing. Not for any help in that department however. It just stops me pissing on my slippers first thing.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    chippy wrote:
    I regularly take 1/4 of a viagra tablet in a morning first thing. Not for any help in that department however. It just stops me pissing on my slippers first thing.

    lolwut? How does that work?
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    With a semi on I can hit the pot easier LOL
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    chippy wrote:
    With a semi on I can hit the pot easier LOL

    Hahaha ... Good stuff!
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    Haha, loving the 1/4 of a viagra pill, not least for the morning piss. Oh man, that made me chuckle :D
    Thanks for the support guys. Nice to see I'm not alone and hopefully it's just a phase. I'm going through a helluva lot in life as it is what with pressures of work, hospitals, family etc so it could quite easily be a combination of everything on my mind. I was starting to get worried though, and hence &T was my last ditch attempt at asking for advice.

    As for TDR's comment, I will start looking for love when I think I am mature enough to. It's my last year of University, so I figured I may as well enjoy it. But I get major mood shifts. Once I had sex then threw bleach over myself in the shower. Messed up. I suppose if I can overcome that, then this should only be a temporary blip on my radar of life.

    I thank you all for the input.
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited October 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    H I'm going through a helluva lot in life as it is what with pressures of work, hospitals, family etc so it could quite easily be a combination of everything on my mind.

    There's your answer.

    Enjoy your future erections.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    Oh I shall :) I'll think of your sexy voice. Gets me like a rock. Dfg just finishes it off ;)

    edit - Just went for a chat with a Urologist and they said if it persists then head back in a month or so but anxiety is a common issue with it all. Also got swayed into an STD test "while I was there for convenience" and had Dfg's Mum put this thing down my japseye.
    CopanSwabMale%20%28Medium%29.jpg

    :(
  • JackedJacked Regular
    edited October 2011
    Hey mate just don't wank or watch porn for A week , you'll be fine ! Oh and about the bleach thing dw your not the only one. Wait till you can't look yourself in the mirror after fuking a chick.... That's when you know your fucked
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    Jacked wrote: »
    Hey mate just don't wank or watch porn for A week , you'll be fine ! Oh and about the bleach thing dw your not the only one. Wait till you can't look yourself in the mirror after fuking a chick.... That's when you know your fucked

    im interested to know why you cant?
  • JackedJacked Regular
    edited November 2011
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited November 2011
    Well I managed to overcome it last night, overcome..get it? Oh screw you. Well it worked. Oddly enough as a mate sent me a text saying "had a girl over last night and couldn't get it up".

    Well there we go :hai:
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited November 2011
    So are you saying you and mister wrinkly "ironed" out your problems?
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited November 2011
    Well congratulations on getting it up one last time dude lol
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