Just a little advice...
For the shy guys out there. If you like a girl, seriously just go for it. Because while you're waiting around to find the courage or for her to make the first move, you're gonna lose her.
Yeah, there is this guy I'm friends with and his best friend was trying to set us up together, and I like him, but my God, he's done like nothing so far. And I can't be with someone that scared to make a move. It's one thing to just be a little shy, but if you can't do anything, I'm not gonna make all the effort.
So me and my ex are getting sort of close again, because he still likes me, so yeah. New guy may have lost his chance, and that's just tough for him, I suppose.
So just wondering, if any of you guys like a girl, how long does it take you to make the first move?
I'm not at all implying guys must always make the first move, but with certain girls, like myself, it's an important thing to do if you wanna get with them...
Yeah, there is this guy I'm friends with and his best friend was trying to set us up together, and I like him, but my God, he's done like nothing so far. And I can't be with someone that scared to make a move. It's one thing to just be a little shy, but if you can't do anything, I'm not gonna make all the effort.
So me and my ex are getting sort of close again, because he still likes me, so yeah. New guy may have lost his chance, and that's just tough for him, I suppose.
So just wondering, if any of you guys like a girl, how long does it take you to make the first move?
I'm not at all implying guys must always make the first move, but with certain girls, like myself, it's an important thing to do if you wanna get with them...
Comments
Women play their mind games and then let the decent guys slip away. Hope that works out for you.
I'm actually pretty straightforward, I play less mind games than most. Waiting around to see if someone thinks you're worth enough to break out of their comfort zone is not a mind-game, it's something a lot more people should take the time to do, honestly.
My ex is really shy, but he took that risk to make the first move when we first met, and he's taking the risk now to do what it takes to get me back now. Honestly, why would I not choose him over a guy who has made absolutely no effort at all?
I mean, not that I feel like this other guy hasn't done something for lack of caring, but if he can't move past his paralyzing shyness, I don't see how a relationship with him could ever work out...
Honestly...what are you expecting him to do?
Well actual being able to look me in the eyes might be nice. But he's like fall to pieces shy around me. And it's cute at first, but I mean, at some point if you want a relationship to work you have to be able to move past that point, we're just not getting anywhere.
To be totally honest, I sort of like the idea of a guy taking more control in the relationship. To ask me out places, and things like that, so I don't have to do them for us. But with him, right now, I think I could even just settle for him meeting me in the middle, but he doesn't...
Oh...
Look, I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so ridiculously rude to you at my first post. Its just recently a girl that I really liked and was hanging out with rejected me pretty nasty style and...sorry, I guess I just took that out on you.
Anyway, that seems hard to deal with. You're right, it needs to go somewhere from there but I would ask that you at least try to communicate your needs to him. I mean, think about what hes done and how hes been to you. Isnt there something there that shows how much he cares rather than outright shyness?
I agree...you're not wrong for needing and wanting more from him. Try to bring it up openly. I mean, how old is this motherfucker?
It's fine, I totally understand.
Yeah, I just don't know how to bring it up to him quite yet, but once I figure out how to do it in best, most delicate way possible I intend on it. But I honestly don't see it changing.
He's only nineteen. A bit younger than I'm used to, really, but age isn't a huge deal to me. But he's obviously very inexperienced with this kind of stuff, so I don't know... I guess we'll see how things go. Just at this point, I'm getting a bit frustrated and bored with it all...
Also - you sure you have given the guy a clear "go-ahead" indication? I mean, real clear? Have you tried inducing a "move"?
I have dealt with girls that are just extremely passive before - as in, they would never even talk to you unless you talk to them first at almost any point, even though they seem really receptive to everything you do - and they are very hard to "read". You have to constantly be guessing where you're at, constantly feeling for where "the line" is, if you get what I mean - especially in a situation where getting with her is better than the status quo, but the status quo is much better than rejection.
Like doing anything to move this relationship forward. Looking me in the eyes, inviting me somewhere, anything like that. I've done my best to make it clear it's okay, but he seems to make like no effort at all. According to his best friend, he really likes me, he's just very inexperienced and really shy and all... so I don't know. I'm not going to keep putting effort into something that isn't going anywhere...
Also, to expand on the previous post, it's a hell of a lot easier to like a girl that has shown she likes you too.
Know how a girl asking a guy to sleep with him will have at least a 75% success rate, but a guy asking a girl would get somewhere close to 0%? Moral of the story you want to get some guarantee before you get yourself emotionally invested. It's a rule I learned (and I think a lot of guys do too), "date first, fall in love later, not the other way round".
Alright, sound like the guy's just a pussy, the way you put it. His friend should just arrange a few random dates for him just so that he realizes that taking a girl out is not a big deal at all.
But just out of interest, when you say "keep putting effort", what do you mean by that?
I've invited him out on several occasions, flirted a lot, things like that, and for someone like me that's kind of more than I'm used to doing, I'm usually not so forward, but I've been trying to make this work out. But if he's not at least gonna meet me halfway, then it doesn't matter how hard I try.
Well, looks like he's just not ready yet.
Have his friend point this thread out to him as a last resort. Even if you're not going to end up with him after that which is perfectly understandable, realizing what a chance he's just missed may prove to be a very valuable, almost life-changing lesson to him.
I bet you haven't and anything you have done is so subtle to be negligible. Fucking whore.
If you really thought I was a "whore" wouldn't that imply I'd be very, very forward about it, instead of being too subtle? What you said just made like... no sense, dude.
Uh... why?
i h8 that girl atitude of "im not gonna make all the effert so u gotta make all the effert and im trying 2 love u but u just havint givin me wut i need" fuck u namaste
Listen to this man manasty. He speaks wisdom.:o:o:o
Yeah, sure.
The issue isn't that I want him to do everything, it's that I want him to do something...
namaste, not one nigga want yo nasty ass
even if that nigga was joe joe he would jus pass
okay
then y dont u do somthing insted of wateing 4 him ur perfictly capible u dont have 2 wate 4 himself 2 prove himself 2 u so u can have the gratificashin of terning som1 down or acsepting his offer. wut a bitch thing 2 do thats the start of a sh!ty relashinship if i ever seen it
f$#@!ing girls and there bitchy thots on how things should b
Typical whore logic. You're disregarding a shy guy because you want to whore yourself out to douchebags.
Get back to the kitchen pl0x
Like, I don't actually agree with this stupid notion that looks matter, but a lot of guys do, and wouldn't have much interest in you from what I've seen in your YouTube videos.
So yeah, go back with your ex or whatever since that seems to be the only guy who likes you.
Somehow it doesn't seem to be the case... the dude like never leaves his house though... never had a girlfriend before... like sort of a recluse. I don't know... I suppose it's possible. But if so, then no big deal.
And it seems a little far to take a joke. Not to mention his friend is dating a girl twice my size, so to make a joke like that because I'M "fat", would be a bit of an odd reason considering...
What the hell are you talking about? People joke about that all the time.
Not the basis for it. Yeah, people do. I'm aware. But they don't go to the kind of trouble he's gone to for a joke... because then no one gets anything out of it except for maybe a laugh, and then that's not even guaranteed. He'd have to be pretty stupid to really put the crazy amount of effort into this that he has, just for a joke. Hell, even for the real thing he's kind of crazy for putting in the effort he has...
Haha, good for you!
And update with me and the guy... we hung out today. He hugged me. I mean... that's SOMETHING. So idk. We'll have to see where this goes...
:facepalm:
1-3 days. I'm pretty straightforward about this. I wasn't always, however...
I started to notice the only reason I was ever rejected was because they were already in a relationship... but every girl aside that always agreed to a date with me.
As long as you're attractive and have confidence, you're good to go.
But seriously get him drunk or something; that oughta loosen him up a bit. Make sure he knows you're willing to go all the way.
Not true. I'm actually now making some progress, so all is not lot.
And yeah, not mine... yours? Because almost every time I cook I end up starting a fire. If you think I belong in a kitchen, then whose, because I'm sure as hell not gonna burn down MY house, because you want me to.
Sorry, but I'm gonna have to agree with him due to personal history. Shit like what you're doing has happened to me. Disregard the shy guy who would actually be a great boyfriend to be with the jerk douche faggot.
This has happened to me before so fuck you.
But I've finally found a nice girl and I can confidently say I'm a decent boyfriend. Not sucking my own dick here, but I think I'm probably one of the best boyfriends.
-don't get her pregnant
-don't lie about stuff
-expect her to lie about stuff
that is it! girls LOVE thinking that they know what they want.
Fuck gender norms and just ask the dude if he wants to go somewhere. He'll probably get the hint, and he'll build his confidence. He's never had a girlfriend? Well fuck, he probably thinks he's a loser and no girl would ever want him and he doesn't want to get rejected and lose you. Right now you're still a possibility. If you reject him, he has nothing. So, you need to make him know that he should ask you out. Tell his friend to tell him about how much you'd love to go out with him.
Women usually do NOT do anything obvious. It's hard to tell if they're being friendly or wanting to suck my dick. Honestly, even I don't know half the time, and I'm pretty good with women. Right now there's one I think is flirting with me, but I still can't be sure she isn't just trying to be friendly. I'm going to ask her out, but I might be misinterpreting her actions and then ruin any chance of friendship. If I don't take the chance, I'm missing out on the possible sex & affection, though. Understand that even experienced guys do not know what the fuck women are thinking, and that at a certain point we either resolve ourselves to getting accepted or rejected, or we do nothing. I've done both, because sometimes I don't want to look like a huge idiot if I have to see the girl all the time.
This guy, though, is obviously shy from inexperience. If he gets experience, he might come out of his shell. I seriously doubt he acts like this with everyone he knows. Obviously you being a girl and him having weird ass ideas about girls is what's making him shy. Do not get with your ex. Forget him. Focus on this guy, and do what I said: tell his friend to tell him you're into him and want to go on a date. Touch his hand. Establish eye contact. Laugh a lot around him. Mention you're free on the weekend. Say you want to go somewhere. Ask him what his plans are. He should put it all together then. If you are not doing all these things, you aren't even beginning to make it obvious. Girls seriously think that wearing a different shirt will make guys realize their interest. It doesn't work like that. We do not read minds. We do not read women. Make it obvious or quit blaming the guy.
This.
This is actually pretty good advice. Thanks.
TLDR: Nut up or shut up.
Welcome.
All you girls say that, and then WHAM! - Suddenly you are filing rape charges.
Well what do you expect us to do? Admit that we actually enjoy sex? Only whores enjoy sex!
I've always approached women with the self defeating Marxist attitude of, "If they'd date me, why would I want to be with them?"
Yeah that's a good way to think bre