Just when you thought that shit had ended...
Apparently some government and corporate organisations can’t be fucked switching from XP, so Microsoft has kindly offered them 5 more years of updates. How the fuck did these organisations pull that shit off? You may very well be asking yourselves. With a big enough bank account and future promises of using MS products MS will quite happily lick anyone’s arse. So luckily for you die hard XP users out there you don’t need big fat bank accounts to reap the same rewards.
This is how to score the updates without getting rimmed
All it takes is a simple registry hack, so let’s begin. Open “regedit”, I will assume you know how to open ‘regedit’. If you don’t, try typing regedit into RUN and if that doesn’t work try copy and pasting it. Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\WPA\
and create a ‘new key’ called “PosReady
”, and that’s without the quotes for fucks sakes. Right click that new key and add a new ‘DWORD’ value of “1
”. Now all you have to do is go to the MS update website and you should see a shitload of updates for your geriatric operating system.
This is what you should see
What form of evil is this?
What this hack does is fools windows updates into thinking your computer is running “Windows Embedded POSReady”, rather than “Windows XP. POSReady”. POS or point-of-sales cash registers, is a variant of XP that was released in 2009.
Oh Shit! My computer just fucked itself!!!
Nah! I’m just mind fucking you; it’s a perfectly safe hack that Microsoft is not happy about because it fucks up their sales. Here’s what they had to say about the hack.
We recently became aware of a hack that purportedly aims to provide security updates to Windows XP customers. The security updates that could be installed are intended for Windows Embedded and Windows Server 2003 customers and do not fully protect Windows XP customers. Windows XP customers also run a significant risk of functionality issues with their machines if they install these updates, as they are not tested against Windows XP. The best way for Windows XP customers to protect their systems is to upgrade to a more modern operating system, like Windows 7 or Windows 8.1.
Form totseans to microsoft!!