Malicious Thoughts

mashlehashmashlehash Regular
edited August 2010 in Life
Do you ever just get blatant bad thoughts? To just kill a bitch? Lately I can't help but look at my surroundings and just get Pissed Off. I cannot pinpoint what makes me so...angry. Just seems like reality is so fucking bizarre I sometimes wonder if I could really just strangle a bitch and this would put all my anger to rest but I keep telling myself I could never do that because I would not want to be the family member(s) on the short end of the stick who get the effect from the cause and effect.

I've debated this sort of thing over and over in my head and I can't help but ask myself if I'm going fucking insane. I always reassure myself that I am not insane but who can be sure?

This sort of thing happens every god damn day. Brief flashes of killing, murder, death, grieving. It's fucking bizarre man. Fucking Bizarre.

I'm not about to go to a therapist and tell him about this sort of thing though because he will just give me a ton of medications. NO WANT.

I thought I would share this with you because I know you people are pretty Fucked Up.

WHAT DO?

Comments

  • ImaginariumImaginarium Regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm glad you posted this here because I saw it over on &Z and wanted to reply.

    When I was younger I was a very empathetic & sensitive kid. Then one day I was exposed to a sinister energetic current, either because of psychological & physical abuse I went through or just because the world in general is fucked up, yo. Either way, streams of violence & sadism would flow through me and it greatly scared me, I began to have weird urges & fucked up dreams and desires.

    It disturbed me greatly, but now that I've been exposed to some of the darkest, grimiest, most fucked up levels and places of human consciousness it doesn't bother me so much. Embrace the dark side. RELEASE YOUR ANGER.

    No, but really, the best way to fight the Sinister Satanic Seduction is not through angelical love & bliss and bullshit but through cold, Luciferian analysis.

    Death, murder, grieving - shit, have you seen the fucking news? We're bombarded with this bullshit everyday, you don't think it's going to sink into your consciousness?

    The fact is you're not fucked up, you're normal, which is really fucked up, yo.
  • mashlehashmashlehash Regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm glad you posted this here because I saw it over on &Z and wanted to reply.

    When I was younger I was a very empathetic & sensitive kid. Then one day I was exposed to a sinister energetic current, either because of psychological & physical abuse I went through or just because the world in general is fucked up, yo. Either way, streams of violence & sadism would flow through me and it greatly scared me, I began to have weird urges & fucked up dreams and desires.

    It disturbed me greatly, but now that I've been exposed to some of the darkest, grimiest, most fucked up levels and places of human consciousness it doesn't bother me so much. Embrace the dark side. RELEASE YOUR ANGER.

    No, but really, the best way to fight the Sinister Satanic Seduction is not through angelical love & bliss and bullshit but through cold, Luciferian analysis.

    Death, murder, grieving - shit, have you seen the fucking news? We're bombarded with this bullshit everyday, you don't think it's going to sink into your consciousness?

    The fact is you're not fucked up, you're normal, which is really fucked up, yo.

    Normality induced insanity. To be considered normal is to be accepted among society, and that notion in itself, what everyone strives for, is fucking insane.
  • edited August 2010
    That's just because society sucks ass, and anyone who's paying sufficient attention would agree with you.

    Who hasn't gotten angry enough at some point to consider killing someone on the spot?
  • mashlehashmashlehash Regular
    edited August 2010
    That's just because society sucks ass, and anyone who's paying sufficient attention would agree with you.

    Who hasn't gotten angry enough at some point to consider killing someone on the spot?

    For realz. And those who actually act on that intent, are considered murderers, monsters at best.
  • CaesarCaesar Regular
    edited August 2010
    There is a concept called the Shadow that I find a good explination for this kind of thing. I think all you can do is try to occasionally embrace your shadow in controlled portions to avoid it becoming a problem... or even better; use it as a creative tool.
  • ImaginariumImaginarium Regular
    edited August 2010
    Getting angry at someone has nothing to really do with this, anger is more a symptom of our huge self-importance than any psychological hell. Now when you start overlaying fantasies of mass destruction, decapitation, blood, gore, etc everywhere you look then you might start to wonder WTF is wrong with you.

    The urge to make people who do disagreeable things like murder, rape, or whatever into "monsters" or subhumans is dumb. It's only too easy to try and take the moral high ground and just say, "drag them out into the street and kill them."

    Sorry, but that has never solved anything. You're pulling off the leaves of the weed, not taking it out by the root. Strike at the root! Evil will continue to grow as long as it can spread seeds. And all the supposedly moral, good, or normal people are nothing more than cultivators of these flowers of evil. ;)

    My garden of disease, so pretty to me.
  • edited August 2010
  • mashlehashmashlehash Regular
    edited August 2010
    Caesar wrote: »
    There is a concept called the Shadow that I find a good explination for this kind of thing. I think all you can do is try to occasionally embrace your shadow in controlled portions to avoid it becoming a problem... or even better; use it as a creative tool.

    That's fairly interesting really. I've always thought about the instinctive properties of humans and how it gets so shadowed by every day life.
  • mashlehashmashlehash Regular
    edited August 2010
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts

    if that sounds like you, you might have OCD.

    I'm fairly convinced I have OCD just because I'm very obsessive about certain things. I used to be even moreso as a child. I remember thinking things like "If I don't do X a certain about of times, I will go to hell", and I was driven to do this activity until I felt comfortable again and was convinced I was not going to hell.
  • edited August 2010
    mashlehash wrote: »
    I'm fairly convinced I have OCD just because I'm very obsessive about certain things. I used to be even moreso as a child. I remember thinking things like "If I don't do X a certain about of times, I will go to hell", and I was driven to do this activity until I felt comfortable again and was convinced I was not going to hell.

    :hai:Congratulations you have OCD:thumbsup:
  • edited August 2010
    mashlehash wrote: »
    For realz. And those who actually act on that intent, are considered murderers, monsters at best.

    Take out some trash, then. Shoot a lone gang-member the next time you see one. Cops will chalk it up to gang violence.
Sign In or Register to comment.