I got mugged today

AnarchyMasterAnarchyMaster Regular
edited February 2011 in Spurious Generalities
So I was coming back from school, and these two guys came out of an alley. I could tell by the look of them that they were up to no good.

Started making trouble in my neighborhood, I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air" I Begged and pleaded with her day after day. But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way .She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said I might as well kick it.

Comments

  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited February 2011
    I don't like you.
  • TSAoDTSAoD Regular
    edited February 2011
    Too predictable, saw it coming long before I clicked the thread.
  • edited February 2011
    Bet the fat dad banged the whole cast.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited February 2011
    When I saw the thread I was like "Lol Anarchy, mugged...quit yo' jibba jabba"
  • MantikoreMantikore Regular
    edited February 2011
    Next time, you should be more careful when walking back home. Try to walk with a group of friends or try to walk in areas with lots of people and try to avoid alleyways. What i like to do is sort of tailgate other large groups if im alone. Although personally i would not bring a weapon like many people would suggest, because not only can you get into trouble, you might actually hurt someone and it will haunt your conscience forever. There was once this guy from Tennessee who killed his friend who was wearing a skimask as a joke by accident with a knife he took from his home's kitchen because he was bullied at school and even though he was innocent, he has to go to group therapy.

    In anycase, good luck to you and i hope you stay safe.
  • Mr.HappyMr.Happy Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    Who still Bel-Airs people?

    Anyway, in an attempt to turn this thread into something useful, I actually have been mugged and it sucked. Terrible timing too. I was with a mate in an area I knew pretty well, just withdrawn £140 between us from a cashpoint and we were on the way to a mate's to buy an ounce of weed. We'd had a few pints at the pub beforehand and were in a pretty good mood.

    I guess we'd been seen at the cashpoint because a few minutes later we were walking down a quiet street and somebody said "oi why you walking so fast mate?" from behind us. Turn around and it's just one of those 'aw, shit' moments, like 6 of your standard chavvy dickhead guys following us. Mumble something, carry on walking. "Oi dick'ead I was askin' you a question"... great. Carry on walking, my mate gets pushed hard in the back and goes flying, to general laughter. I figure we're going to get mugged or beat up anyway so I turn around and push the guy who pushed my mate. "What the fuck you doin' you prick?"... sigh, yeah, this is gonna be fun. I say he pushed my mate, he denies it (lol), dickheads laugh again, we turn around and walk off at speed - which was probably a mistake - and the same guy punches me in the side of the head while I've got my back to him. Stay up but it fucking hurt, the cunt got me on the ear. I'm about to say 'fuck it' and punch the guy when another one of 'em says "hey mate what you think of this" and shows a fucking knife.

    I don't know if you're ever had a knife pulled on you, but goddamn does it change your mindset. To one of pure "fuuuuuuck fuck fuck fuck". I doubt either of us managed to conceal that we were instantly shit-scared and after a few seconds we ran. We were only a few minutes from our destination so we might've made it, except those kids were goddamned rapid and we both got caught, my mate got tripped (scraped his hand and arm up pretty good) and I got tackled (ripped my jeans and fucked my knee, wouldn't be running on it again). The rest caught us and gave us a few kicks, then we both got mugged by the guy with the knife. Only a little guy as well, proper short guy syndrome, mouthy little fucker. Thankfully we'd been planning on going to a rave later so we'd both taken all non-essentials out of our wallets and switched our SIM cards into our old phones, but still, we lost about £100 each, plus bank cards, phones and SIMs (losing the SIM is a real cunt), keys and ID (total twats, taking those, again though when you've got someone with a knife at your throat you give 'em what they want) and our goddamn jackets. Both of us were wearing expensive and fairly new jackets, too, worth more than the money in our wallets.

    Then they proceed to kick the hell out of us for a while. All you can do is curl up and protect your head, it's surreal. I kind of hoped I'd blank out the pain but I didn't... unsurprisingly, it really hurts. Worst was getting my fingers stamped on, you know that serious, deep pain where you instantly know something's really wrong? Got that pain. My mate had a couple of ribs cracked too, and took a nasty boot in the face. Then they ran off 'cos a couple of people were coming down the street, and probably the most depressing thing about the whole incident happened; the guys who came past, a couple of mid-40s men, just looked at us and kept on walking. Didn't offer to help, didn't even ask if we were alright (we weren't, my mate was semi-conscious and we were both bleeding. Just walked straight on. People can be assholes sometimes. We sat on the kerb for a while without saying anything, just recovering, and did get offered help by a young couple who came along not long afterwards. But we both felt up to walking the few minutes to our mate's house so we told 'em we'd be okay and set off (limping on my part). When we got there the pain was getting worse, so I opened the door, got on the floor and walked the dinosaur.
  • SilosighbinSilosighbin Regular
    edited February 2011
    Mr.Happy wrote: »
    Who still Bel-Airs people?

    Anyway, in an attempt to turn this thread into something useful, I actually have been mugged and it sucked. Terrible timing too. I was with a mate in an area I knew pretty well, just withdrawn £140 between us from a cashpoint and we were on the way to a mate's to buy an ounce of weed. We'd had a few pints at the pub beforehand and were in a pretty good mood.

    I guess we'd been seen at the cashpoint because a few minutes later we were walking down a quiet street and somebody said "oi why you walking so fast mate?" from behind us. Turn around and it's just one of those 'aw, shit' moments, like 6 of your standard chavvy dickhead guys following us. Mumble something, carry on walking. "Oi dick'ead I was askin' you a question"... great. Carry on walking, my mate gets pushed hard in the back and goes flying, to general laughter. I figure we're going to get mugged or beat up anyway so I turn around and push the guy who pushed my mate. "What the fuck you doin' you prick?"... sigh, yeah, this is gonna be fun. I say he pushed my mate, he denies it (lol), dickheads laugh again, we turn around and walk off at speed - which was probably a mistake - and the same guy punches me in the side of the head while I've got my back to him. Stay up but it fucking hurt, the cunt got me on the ear. I'm about to say 'fuck it' and punch the guy when another one of 'em says "hey mate what you think of this" and shows a fucking knife.

    I don't know if you're ever had a knife pulled on you, but goddamn does it change your mindset. To one of pure "fuuuuuuck fuck fuck fuck". I doubt either of us managed to conceal that we were instantly shit-scared and after a few seconds we ran. We were only a few minutes from our destination so we might've made it, except those kids were goddamned rapid and we both got caught, my mate got tripped (scraped his hand and arm up pretty good) and I got tackled (ripped my jeans and fucked my knee, wouldn't be running on it again). The rest caught us and gave us a few kicks, then we both got mugged by the guy with the knife. Only a little guy as well, proper short guy syndrome, mouthy little fucker. Thankfully we'd been planning on going to a rave later so we'd both taken all non-essentials out of our wallets and switched our SIM cards into our old phones, but still, we lost about £100 each, plus bank cards, phones and SIMs (losing the SIM is a real cunt), keys and ID (total twats, taking those, again though when you've got someone with a knife at your throat you give 'em what they want) and our goddamn jackets. Both of us were wearing expensive and fairly new jackets, too, worth more than the money in our wallets.

    Then they proceed to kick the hell out of us for a while. All you can do is curl up and protect your head, it's surreal. I kind of hoped I'd blank out the pain but I didn't... unsurprisingly, it really hurts. Worst was getting my fingers stamped on, you know that serious, deep pain where you instantly know something's really wrong? Got that pain. My mate had a couple of ribs cracked too, and took a nasty boot in the face. Then they ran off 'cos a couple of people were coming down the street, and probably the most depressing thing about the whole incident happened; the guys who came past, a couple of mid-40s men, just looked at us and kept on walking. Didn't offer to help, didn't even ask if we were alright (we weren't, my mate was semi-conscious and we were both bleeding. Just walked straight on. People can be assholes sometimes. We sat on the kerb for a while without saying anything, just recovering, and did get offered help by a young couple who came along not long afterwards. But we both felt up to walking the few minutes to our mate's house so we told 'em we'd be okay and set off (limping on my part). When we got there the pain was getting worse, so I opened the door, got on the floor and walked the dinosaur.



    Fuck that's nuts man! I've never been in a similar experience, and hope I never am. My mate had a gun put to his head once, almost shat himself. He spoke of a similar experience to that of a knife being pulled on you. It totally changed his mindset from tough-guy-ready-for-a-fight straight to subordinate-little-girl. I don't blame him, as I think almost any normal human would be the same. In hind-sight, the gun wasn't loaded, but still, he didn't know that at the time.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited February 2011
    I still Bel-Air people. I managed to bullshit to my mate that my friend and I were going to meet him on the Isle of Wight, and as he and his GF were walking across the Island, we called him and said we were on the boat over! Anyway, about 10 minutes later, we called agaon saying our boat called "The Pride of Bologne" or however it's spelt. Anyway, we were actually at my mates house smoking cigars in his pool, with the sun on our backs and pretty peeved we were being stood up by the 3rd guy in our group (we are like the 3 musketeers ffs). My mate thought we were headed to France with no passports, money or dignity now. Instead we were enjoying our time together and making him waste his day.= and piss his girlyfriend off as we hated her. I always did.

    We then took a photo of ourselves, photoshopped it onto a boat and sent it to him (via mobile phone) to reinforce our prank/lie. Anyway, my mate on the Island had wasted half a day with his girlfriend as they walked to meet us.
    That night my friend and I played French music and called my mate, compensating for the +1 hour time difference etc and he asked how we were.

    I said "Yeah I'm cool. My Mum and Dad got scared though. We are currently in an Immigration office next to a School, but we can go and get outside y'know, play some B-ball"

    He didn't twig even though he knows I Bel-Air people.
    Anyway, he believed us for a month after. His Mum told everyone and we played along until 1 night where we had a College reunion and we broke the news to him. he almost broke our noses. Funny shit though.
  • Mr.HappyMr.Happy Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    ^ all I'm saying is, all the cool kids use walk the dinosaur now, not Bel-Air.
  • brandonbrandon Regular
    edited February 2011
    TSAoD wrote: »
    Too predictable, saw it coming long before I clicked the thread.

    thats y u clicked on the thred rite? :o:o:o:o:o:o
  • LSA KingLSA King Regular
    edited February 2011
    Oh man, Bel-Air's never cease to make me laugh aloud no matter how lame or predictable the rest of the text may be.
  • Dumpster SlutDumpster Slut Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    deez nuts suck
  • fr0st_Bytefr0st_Byte Sumpin' c00L
    edited February 2011
    Mr.Happy wrote: »
    so I opened the door, got on the floor and walked the dinosaur.

    I got it.
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