I'm currently at a fork in the road that is my life. With the path that I'm currently on I see sober living, steady income, a house a kid and my pets being taken care at the price of staying sober. The other path however is a long tumultuous one where I slowly go back into doing drugs safely. I wouldn't lose my girlfriend and I know I could do it without going overboard. As long as I keep up the bills and limit all other spending this would be possible and could run parrallel with my current path. My problem is that I'm addicted to inebriation and living sober is annoying.
Maybe I'm just being a fucking pussy about the whole thing but currently my life is stressful. I know other people in the world have it worse than me but I'm very selfish and egotistical and don't care about anything unless it interests me or directly effects me. I know I shouldn't get back on drugs but goddamn I want to. I feel like I need to do something or I'm going to explode.
Comments
If you want my advice, go see a counsellor and learn some better adjustment/coping strategies. Nothing embarassing about it, sometimes someone just needs a little help adjusting.
Oh, and distance yourself from all friends/people/events that might
a) put you in proximity of your drug of choice or
b) remind you of past instances of getting high (often times the social/environmental aspect of getting high can lead to urges to use via conditioning)
good luck