Woman logic
RemadE
Global Moderator
So I went to the pub tonight after finally getting some time with a girl I really like (it took about 3 weeks of "around for 5 minutes and a fag?" texts and calls from both sides). You can tell where this is going already, can't you? Anyway, this is one of the few (about 3) girls I genuinely have feelings for. I told her about the past month and how much I missed her as she really meant something to me.
Before I know it the vodka and coke kicked in as well as the other booze, and she was crying. Bitching about her recent ex boyfriend who stole from a housemate. Cue me kneeling in the middle of the pub to comfort her and try to give advice. On deaf ears. I really care about this girl, not only was she great in bed, but we just clicked. I had shit relationships in the past with women and I hate them for the most part - so she was really something special.
We went back to mine as she wanted to talk and turns out she is so "depressed" because she doesn't want to get attached to me. Of course she says that after grabbing my dick, crying, eating my face (I was rather reluctant given her state) and crying some more. I got the tissues out and spoke some words of what I hope were advice. I'd do anything for this girl, but apparently that made things worse as she "couldn't get attached". We have a ton in common, not least being born in the same Hospital and living in the same part of London. She even set the benchmark for my current fetishes and is just perfect.
So she then left, calling her ex boyfriend, saying she would go straight home. After falling down my stairs she went in the direction of where she said to meet him and I was just left there. At least she dropped a cigarette.
Woman logic. I really don't get it at times.
Or ever.
Wasted a lot of time and emotions on that girl. I can't let this stop my crazy train of motivation. Just suck it up and move the fuck on. Can't be doing with weak people.
So glad Beaver told me about this song...
Before I know it the vodka and coke kicked in as well as the other booze, and she was crying. Bitching about her recent ex boyfriend who stole from a housemate. Cue me kneeling in the middle of the pub to comfort her and try to give advice. On deaf ears. I really care about this girl, not only was she great in bed, but we just clicked. I had shit relationships in the past with women and I hate them for the most part - so she was really something special.
We went back to mine as she wanted to talk and turns out she is so "depressed" because she doesn't want to get attached to me. Of course she says that after grabbing my dick, crying, eating my face (I was rather reluctant given her state) and crying some more. I got the tissues out and spoke some words of what I hope were advice. I'd do anything for this girl, but apparently that made things worse as she "couldn't get attached". We have a ton in common, not least being born in the same Hospital and living in the same part of London. She even set the benchmark for my current fetishes and is just perfect.
So she then left, calling her ex boyfriend, saying she would go straight home. After falling down my stairs she went in the direction of where she said to meet him and I was just left there. At least she dropped a cigarette.
Woman logic. I really don't get it at times.
Or ever.
Wasted a lot of time and emotions on that girl. I can't let this stop my crazy train of motivation. Just suck it up and move the fuck on. Can't be doing with weak people.
So glad Beaver told me about this song...
Comments
Dont think I'm speaking from a perspective of superriority or contempt, youre basically describing my life with women, and everything I just said I only just realized myself. Im always the "nice guy" to my friends and family and to girls; the shoulder to cry on, the voice of reason, and the helping hand. I do that because I believe in it and I always felt that people would eventually come to see my genuine intentions and that things would work out of me so long as I could keep my honor intact and be there when no one else was.
Guess what? When you unconditionally provide support to people they will become acclimated to it, they will take it for granted, and they will most often treat you like shit. You'll be known as the 'responsible one' and that can be an asset, but you will be treated unfairly and will become a punching bag, especially if youre like me and rationalize other peoples mistakes while condemning your own
I fuck up: "Im ashamed of myself. I should have known better and, despite being young and inexperienced, I should know all the answers by now and not make mistakes."
Someone else fucks up: "they just done have the emotional control or perspective required to not be an asshole, i can forgive them"
Despite my best efforts of stoically waiting for people to realize how much of a 'good guy' I am, Ive had friends turn on me for little or no reason, women friend-zone and take advantage of me, family abuse me, and get shit on in life in general.
I'm not saying you should turn into an asshole and abandon your principles altogether, but the world does not need another pussy yes-man whose going to let other people abuse him for the sake of some "greater good" whether that be spiritual in nature ('gods plan', 'karma', etc), political ('for king and country'), or for the sake of social cohesion (this 'lets all get along kids!' kindergarden bullshut). Know that she is taking advantage of you, whether she realizes it or not, and that you need to make it clear that you cant invest emotionally (including but not limited to her crying all over you and making public scenes while you tolerate it like a 'true gentleman') while shes running around with her douchebag ex.
I dont know how much that helps but thats my advice since its the realization that i am coming to; it might hurt in the short term but its less overall pain than playing the 'yes-no' game with this girl and always being in that ambiguous/confused state (which, by the way, is the state in which you are easiest to control since you wont know which direction to go in and someone from outside will seem like a good candidate to guide you, thats how cults and abusive families work, thats what i grew up with and thats why all the natural biological urges are a sin in the catholic philosophy, ensuring the church as a moral authority to save people from themselves, anyway got a little off topic here, hope that helps).
But like I said - haven't lost any sleep over it and really don't seem to have been affected by it. Thought I'd put it here as maybe someone else could relate and I needed to vent due to the confusion I was feeling. Time to get my week 3 Communism lecture caught up on as well as an essay. Back to normality :hai:
My extreme hatred of Women (at times) has consumed me over the past week to the point of being so bitter and I decided to make a mind map of what I feel and think at 04:45 one morning as I was in too much pain to sleep.
It went on for quite a while and covered everything from anxiety, to Crohn's pain (physical) and mental anguish like paranoia, trust issues, violent imagery and manipulative behaviour.
I took it along when I saw my Social Worker and was honest with her. Yes, a female. I did say that "I find it difficult to be honest with you because you're female" and explained certain aspects of the mind map, including how I feel I am a burden in a relationship because some days I am in agony and cannot function, then cue the sex (stomach pain so bad I can't walk, let alone jiggle about on top of a bird), and the refusal to go on dates and eat because it dictates my life. Then onto my manipulative, sadistic side.
After this I said about the confidentiality aspect of this all because I put my entire mind onto a piece of paper but not my name. I'm meeting with hre in 2 weeks for a follow up, so shall see how it goes. I just want to be normal around girls as I have this aura of attraction - as in I have no problem at all getting a girl, but as soon as emotions come into the equation, I flip. And flip hard. Violently hard.
Fingers crossed.