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Married With Children FAQ 5/5
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Archive-name: tv/program-guides/married-with-children/appendix2
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* MARRIED WITH CHILDREN *
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PROGRAM GUIDE
by Dean Adams
{[email protected]}
(September, 1993)
APPENDIX III - WRITING CREDITS
Staff Writers:
Ron Leavitt 702*
Michael G. Moye 112, 714
Ron Leavitt/Michael G. Moye 110, 216, 302, 308, 409, 502, 601
Michael G. Moye/Ron Leavitt 101, 102, 201, 202, 203, 215t, 305,
401, 412, 413, 508, 623
Katherine Green/Richard Gurman 103, 113, 213
Richard Gurman/Katherine Green 105, 205
Richard Gurman 309, 314, 703, 718
Sandy Sprung/Marcy Vosburgh 106,204,209,214,219,301,311,408
Marcy Vosburgh/Sandy Sprung 107, 111, 222, 306, 403, 423
Kevin Curran 411, 417, 419, 503, 509, 517, 602,
603, 614, 626, 723
Ralph R. Farquhar 109t, 211, 217, 304, 319, 321, 510, 514, 523
Ellen L. Fogle 108, 210, 212, 218, 220, 315, 317, 318,
414, 418, 421, 507, 512, 521, 606, 608,
617, 624, 702*, 705, 712, 721
Katherine Green 402, 410, 420, 504, 513, 522, 613, 621
Larry Jacobson 609, 610, 611, 619, 706, 720, 724
Stacie Lipp 501t, 515, 520, 605, 612, 622, 625,
707, 710, 715, 719, 722
Arthur Silver 407*, 505, 701, 713, 725, 726
Gabrielle Topping 313s, 501s, 607, 708
Kim Weiskopf 801
Other Writers:
Adell, Ilunga 616
Aidekman, Al 406, 506, 709
Baruch, Jeanne 310*, 322t*
Begel, Cindy 312t*
Bing, Steve 407*
Brangato, J.D. 519*
Brown, Calvin 618
Burla, Ron 104
Burroughs, Diane 422*, 711t*
Chernin, Lisa 615
Crider, Steve 620
Cridland, Susan 303t*
Davis, Allan 604s
Dennis, Jules 307*
Diamond, Paul 415
Doanham, Sioux 416
Eichler, Glenn 516*
Everett, Art 511
Ferris, Michael 519*
Finney, Sara V. 320*
Gaffney, Peter 516*
Gamble, Tracy 206*, 207*
Geller, Matt 109s
Granat, Steve 316*
Gutierrez, Joey 422*, 711t*
Johannessen, Chip 524*
Kite, Lesa 312t*
Krasner, Sheldon 404t*
Mueller, Richard 307*
O'Neill, Len 322s
Parker, J. Stanford 215s
Perzigian, Jerry 221
Prady, Bill 518
Rinker, John 524*
Rogers, Will 404s
Romano, Jeanne 310*, 322t*
Rosenbloom, Jan 312s
Rosenthal, Lisa 405
Saling, David 404t*
Scully, Brian 604t
Sharon, P. 711s
Sherer, Mel 316*
Smith, Andrew 704
Spears, Vida 320*
Studebaker, Carl 303s
Tricker, George 716
Ulin, Robert 313t
Vaczy, Richard 206*, 207*
Valentine, Joel 717*
Vorhaus, John 208
Wick, Pamela 303t*
Zimbler, Scott 717*
[ * = Shared credit, s = Story credit only, t = Teleplay credit only ]
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APPENDIX IV - DIRECTING CREDITS
Primary Director:
First/Second season Linda Day
Third-Sixth seasons Gerry Cohen
Linda Day 101-105, 108, 109, 111-113, 202-216,
414, 519-521
Gerry Cohen 217, 301-306, 309-322, 401-413, 415-419,
421-423, 501-518, 522-524, 601-606,
608-617, 619-708, 709-713, 715-716, 718
Amanda Bearse * 607, 618, 708, 717, 720
Zane Buzby 106
James E. Hornbeck 308
Brian Levant 110
Sam W. Orender 714
John Sgueglia 307
Tony Singletary 420, 801
Arlando Smith 107
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APPENDIX V - THE LOST SHOW
Here is a more detailed account of the events around the "missing" third
season episode: "I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT" (#310). [excerpted from Playboy]
This episode is now called "The Lost Show" by the producers, since they
feel they lost control of it, and subsequently it never aired as scheduled.
The reason was the Fox network censors. Producer Moye says they had 15
censor notes on the script, meaning 15 words or lines the censor considered
"too graphic" or "over the edge" or "offensive to certain groups." These
were the things they'd been hearing from the censor all along--at the rate
of two or three a script--but 15 notes was a whole new game.
"We were gonna play ball," says Moye. They made some changes and sent the
script back. The censor was on the phone. They made some more changes,
caught some more flak. "It got to the point where we had given them all
but four notes, which to us was bending double. We were really doing a
contortionist job." Still, the censor wasn't happy. By the end of the
week, they'd made 13 changes and "the integrity of the show was shot to
hell," says Moye.
The Lost Show is about sex. It begins with Peg and neighbor Marcy
discussing ways to spice the Bundy's sex life. How about a change of
venue? Cut to the Hop-On-Inn motel. See Al and Peg lean back in bed.
Know they've done the wild--and as always with the Bundys, brief--thing.
Later, we learn that Al and Peg were video-taped at the motel, as were
Steve and Marcy before them. Cut to the courtroom, where Steve plays
prosecutor in the couples' lawsuit against the Hop-On-Inn.
Unfortunately for the Bundys, Steve screens the video tapes in court.
Steve and Marcy win $10,000 for their multihour performance; Al and Peg's
one-minute boogie is judged inconclusive. Or, as the jury foreman says,
"No sex, no money." The motel's lawyer doubts Peg's claim that in their
one filmed minute, she and Al had sex.
Says Peg: "All right, it may not be sex to you, but it is to me. Just
because you have husbands who can last long enough to time an egg doesn't
mean that what Al does doesn't count... Is a crumb not a banquet for a
starving person?... Is a fig leaf not clothing for the naked?"
Now Peg's off the witness stand. She's being dragged back to her seat, and
she's begging with every step: "You can't do this to Al! He'll lose what
little confidence he has! You were great, baby! Please, oh, please, don't
listen! Don't give up!" The courtroom clears. Al and Peg are alone. He
leads her behind the judge's bench... The hands of the clock spin. Then
we hear voices from behind the bench.
Al: "Now, was that sex, or was that sex?"
Peg: "That was SEX, Al", and she lights a cigarette and exhales
a cloud of smoke...
As this episode ends, the camera slowly pans to show a closed-circuit
TV camera pointed directly behind the judge's bench...
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APPENDIX VI - BUNDYISMS
The Bundy credo:
"When one Bundy is embarrassed, the rest of us feel better
about ourselves." [From CAN'T DANCE, DON'T ASK ME (313)]
Al Bundy's xmas story:
Twas the night before christmas, and all through the house,
no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie,
along with a note that said "presents or die".
Children were plotting all night in their beds,
while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank,
then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
...and all of a sudden Santa appeared,
a sneer on his face, booze in his beard.
Santa I said as he laughed merrily,
you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes,
your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze.
Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife,
her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue.
And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee:
you're married with children, you'll never be free.
[From IT'S A BUNDYFUL LIFE (Part-1) (412)]
Al pays the bills:
Oh man we're broke, cha cha cha
Everybody flat broke, cha cha cha
Living in the gutter, cha cha cha
Early grave, cha cha cha
Alright now, everybody - shoot me!
[From RAINGIRL (419)]
"I Care" by Al Bundy:
When hooters jiggle around,
and I find nickels on the ground, I care.
When a mustang engine purrs,
and the bathroom is not hers, I care.
When the pitcher's on the mound,
and the wife is underground, I care.
But when I've been playing this for days,
I will kill anyone who stays, I swear!
To which Peggy adds:
...and if you really want a scare,
check out his underwear, if you dare.
[From MYSTERY OF SKULL ISLAND (614)]
"A man is a man all of his life, but a woman is only sexy 'til
she becomes your wife" [Al Bundy, from RITES OF PASSAGE (616)]
"At the Nudie Bar":
Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks, the nudie bar.
Where the girlies dance in their underpants, the nudie bar.
Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut,
at the nudie bar.
Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest,
at the nudie bar.
Where you look at a thigh, and blacken an eye, at the nudie bar.
Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass,
...at the nudie bar. [From RITES OF PASSAGE (616)]
"Psycho Dad" theme song:
Who's that...<mumbled>
Who's the man with the itchy gun.
Who's the man who kills for fun!
Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad. Psycho Dad!
He sleeps with a gun, but he loves his son.
Killed his wife 'cause she weighed a ton... Psycho Dad!
[From AL... WITH KELLY (501)]
"Psycho Dad" new theme song:
A little touched or so we're told
Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold
Might as well, she was gettin' old
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad
He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done
Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad!
"Psycho Mom" theme song:
Who's the gal who needs no man?
Killed him dead with the frying pan
Did it 'cause he missed the can
Psycho Mom, Psycho Mom, she's Psy-cho Mom!
[From TEACHER PETS (621)]
"Old Aid" song:
We are the old, we've got arthritis
Our gums are weak (so weak), from gingivitis
We are the old, we've got arthritis
We are the ones who wear bifocals, and have bursitis
There are people younger, but we heed another call
We really need the money, our accountants took it all
We sing to you, those who have money
Once we was cool, but now we just dress funny
We need your help, so please please dig deep
Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep
We have medicare, and anti-gas pills
But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills
We are the old, [they are the old]
We have arthritis [they have arthritis]
Once we were gods, now golf excites us [golf excites 'em]
So write a check (a really big one), for our december
There's one more verse, but we can't remember...
[From ROCK OF AGES (709)]
Christmas jobs for Al:
With twelve days till christmas,
your family got for you:
12 days fruit picking,
11 offramp selling,
10 toilets cleaning,
9 digging graves,
8 snaking sewers,
7 spearing rats,
6 training guard dogs,
5 giving blood!
4 crash-test dummying,
3 jobs roach-killing,
2 jobs dog catching,
and one job santa-ing at the mall.
[From CHRISTMAS (712)]
Marcy's song for Santa-Al:
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
With the hair in his nose and rot on his toes,
he's as bald as he can be.
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
He's into old age,
making minimum wage,
he's as bald as he can be...
[From CHRISTMAS (712)]
The Bundy credo:
Lie when your wife is waking
Lie when your belly's aching
Lie when you know she's faking
Lie, sell shoes, and lie.
Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum
Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb.
[From THE WEDDING REPERCUSSIONS (725)]
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APPENDIX VII - PROGRAM NOTES
Christina Applegate's birthday is November 25, 1971.
Kelly's birthday was given in episode #704 as November 27th.
David Faustino's birthday is March 3, 1974.
Bud's birthday was given as January 22nd.
Amanda Bearse was born on August 9, 1958.
Ed O'Neill was born on April 12, 1946.
Al works at "Gary's Shoes & Accessories", in the New Market Mall.
The Bundy's home address is given as "9764 Jeopardy Lane", but at
certain times the house number was also shown as "9674".
Al, Peg, and the kids play on the "New Market Maulers" softball team,
which is part of the twenty-store and under mall league.
Peggy's maiden name is Wanker, and her family comes from the rural
Wanker County... "where everyone is relative."
Al buys clothes at "Bob's Pre-Owned Socks 'n Stuff".
Steve's middle name is "Bartholomew".
Al's fathers father was named Jebediah Bundy.
The voice of Buck the Dog is normally provided by staff
writer/producer Kevin Curran.
Al frequently talks about the football trophy he won in high school
for scoring four touchdowns in a single game.
Christina Applegate's mother (Nancy Priddy), appeared in episode #409.
Starting in episode #603, Bud decided to start calling himself
"Grandmaster B", in an attempt to do better with the babes.
Here are some of the names people called him instead:
Abdomenizer B (723) Grand Flasher B
Bass Master B Grandfather B
Bed Wetter B Grandmaster Virgin
Bellringer B (521) Grandpappy B
Butt-wagger B Grasshopper B
Crossdresser B (521) Grave Digger B
Dishwasher B Grinchmaster B
Dustbuster B Stairmaster B
Gas-passer B Thumb Sucker B
Grand Bastard B Toastmaster B
MWC producers/creators Leavitt and Moye have each made appearances in
episodes, and several members of Leavitt's family have also appeared.
Writers Larry Jacobson and Sandy Sprung were each in an episode as well.
Christina Applegate seems to have had some of the most visible success
of the MWC cast, outside of the series. She has had the leading role
in two motion pictures: "Streets", made in 1990, and "Don't Tell Mom
the Babysitter's Dead", in 1991. Immediately prior to working on MWC,
Christina was a regular on the ABC police drama "Heart of the City".
Her character was 14-year old Robin Kennedy, daughter of the series'
star, a police detective played by Robert Desiderio. This show debuted
in September 1986, and lasted less than a season.
MWC staff members Kevin Curran and Larry Jacobson were both previously
employed as writers for Late Night with David Letterman. Jacobson
appeared in many comedy bits on Dave's show, and he has followed this
up by appearing several times on MWC.
NOW Comics has a series of comic books based on Married With Children
which started back in 1990. To date there have been over 20 issues.
Married With Children is produced by Columbia Pictures Television,
and the show is taped on Friday nights at the following location:
Sunset-Gower Studios
1438 N. Gower Street
Los Angeles, CA 90028
Send letters to "Married With Children" at the same address,
if you wish to write any members of the cast or crew.
Syndication notes:
Four episodes that originally aired on the Fox network were omitted
from the 1991 syndication package. All of these were excellent and
very funny shows, and all of them dealt with SEX...
39. 12/11/88 A PERIOD PIECE (301)
41. 01/15/89 HER CUPS RUNNETH OVER (306)
48. 03/12/89 CAN'T DANCE, DON'T ASK ME (313)
75. 02/25/90 WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND (418)
[Update: after several months of playing the same reruns, episodes
#301 and 313 were finally released for syndication in May 1992,
and #306 in October 1992.]
Centerfolds:
The following guest stars have posed in a less-than-clothed condition.
Anderson, Pamela Playmate 02/90 Yvette (501), Cashew (523)
Austin, Lynne Playmate 07/86 Sable (318)
Brandt, Brandi Playmate 10/87 Herself (407)
Carlton, Hope Marie Playmate 07/85 Heather (218)
Fabian, Ava Playmate 08/86 Yummy (417), Honey (523)
Hahn, Jessica Playboy 11/87,9/88,12/92 Ricki (612)
Lee, Luann Playmate 01/87 Fifi (322)
Lords, Traci Penthouse Pet 09/84 T.C. (404), Vanessa (611)
Moore, Barbara Playmate 12/92 Dee Anna (725)
Sloan, Tiffany Playmate 10/92 Carol (717)
Speir, Dona Playmate 03/84 Photo Girl (311)
Tenison, Renee Playmate 11/89/PoY-1990 Macadamia (523), Topsy (605)
Weigel, Teri Playmate 04/86 Jade (218,221,312,509)
Wild, Sandra Playboy 08/91 Fluffy (309)
Spinoff:
In the spring of 1991, Fox started a new series called "Top of the Heap",
based on two characters they introduced first in the Married With Children
episode: "OLDIES BUT YOUNG'UNS" (518). The series was about Vinnie
Verducci (Matt Le Blanc) and his father, Charlie (Joseph Blogna). Other
cast members included Joey Adams as jail-bait neighbor Mona who is always
chasing Vinnie, and Rita Moreno, as Vinnie's boss. It should be noted that
Vinnie is a reasonable approximation of what a male Kelly Bundy would be:
handsome and incredibly stupid. Charlie is similar to Al, in that life
has not treated him well, but where Al struggles to get by, Charlie is a
constant schemer.
The pilot episode of "Top of the Heap" was shown as the second half of a
special one-hour Married With Children episode. The first part was the
show "KIDS! WADAYA GONNA DO" (519), in which neither Vinnie nor Charlie
makes an appearance. The second half-hour is the "Heap" pilot, and had
no connection at all to the "KIDS!" story. Al Bundy makes an appearance
in a scene where Vinnie and Charlie stop by Gary's Shoes to talk to him.
Al, it turns out, had bet on Vinnie's boxing match the night before and
lost his T.V. as a result. At the end of the episode, while Vinnie and
Charlie sleep, a masked figure enters the Verducci apartment through the
window. The mask is lifted to reveal Al, who steals the Verducci's TV.
Subsequent episodes would feature cameo appearances by MWC characters
Kelly and Bud Bundy. The series was canceled after only a few months.
The Vinnie Verducci character was later reprised for a short appearance
in the MWC episode "KELLY DOES HOLLYWOOD (Part-1)" (609).
In June 1992, Fox once again tried to reprise the Vinnie character in
the short-lived series "Vinnie and Bobby". MWC co-creator Ron Leavitt
was partially responsible.
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Many thanks go to Jim Dean, who acted as the chief beta tester and
proofreader for this guide and in addition contributed the sections
on Top of the Heap, the lost show, and centerfolds. Also, thanks to
Jim Trethewey who did a great job capturing and digitizing the MWC
logo screen for the cover page, Brian Neale and John Lavalie for
filling in missing air dates, and Dennis Kytasaari for the last few
missing titles...
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Note: you may freely copy and distribute this guide for personal use
provided that it be distributed in it's entirety, with all original
author and copyright information intact. Any sales of this document
are expressly forbidden, without the specific consent of the author.
[ Copyright © 1993, Dean Adams. All rights reserved. ]
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{ Internet: [email protected], FidoNet: 1:102/1006.4 }
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