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Episode guide to the Get Smart! series from the
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Each title is followed by the episode's original air date. Episodes are listed
in the order followed by most stations when airing them except that the final
(CBS) season is frequently ommitted entirely or in part in syndication.
*** FIRST SEASON ***
MR. BIG (pilot) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 18, 1965
Mr Big of KAOS has stolen Professor Dante's inferno ray, and threatens to
use it unless CONTROL forks over a $100 million ransom. Instead, Max, 99
and Fang follow a trail of rubber garbage to a fake garbage scow, Mr. Big's
floating hideout. When Mr. Big attempts to use the ray - unaware that the
forces of goodness have rewired it - he only succeeds in destroying
himself and his evil plan.
OUR MAN IN TOYLAND Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 9, 1965
KAOS is smuggling secrets out of the country in merchandise from Bower's
Department Store. Max and Fang investigate as customers, 99 as a
salesclerk. She discovers the secret transmission device: Polly Dolly.
Fang brings Polly to the Chief. Polly brings a message from Max. Max and
99 fight their way to safety using an arsenal of powerful children's toys.
KAOS IN CONTROL Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 30, 1965
KAOS has infiltrated CONTROL on the eve of a major peace conference, and
has stolen the mind-zapping retrogressor gun. After both the Chief and
Professor Windish have their brains retrogressed, Max takes over, begins
the conference, and captures the wrong spy. Then he flushes out the right
spy - Alma Sutton - when, pretending to be retrogressed, she makes a slip
about watching Captain Kangaroo.
SCHOOL DAYS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 2, 1965
Max, looking for a KAOS infiltrator, enrolls in spy school as Alexander
Loomis. Fang enrolls tooo, under the cover name Morris. Max survives a
series of assassination attempts without knowing it, then exposes the spy
by going after the wrong suspects - and having escaped death with 99 by
singing "Happy Birthday" to Fang, who responds by blowing out the flame on
the dynamite.
DIPLOMAT'S DAUGHTER Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 25, 1965
Max and 99 are assigned to protect Princess Ingrid, a wild twenty-year-old
blonde bombshell. But all three blunder into the lair of the Claw, a
fiendish Oriental villain who has one good hand and one magnetic mauler.
Max declaws the Claw by flipping a drawer of cutlery onto his malevolent
magnet.
NOW YOU SEE HIM - NOW YOU DON'T Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 16, 1965
Dr. Haskell has escaped from KAOS with his secret invisibility ray. KAOS
overtakes him, and offers the ray to Smart's government in exchange for $10
million. KAOS kidnaps Smart, who cons them into taking him back to his
booby-trapped aprtment. The ray is a phoney, a KAOS plot, and Max nearly
demolishes himself on his own booby traps, but with 99's help, he triumphs
over the forces of rottenness once more.
WASHINGTON 4, INDIANS 3 Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 23, 1965
A band of Indians demands the return of all lands taken by the U.S.,
otherwise they intend to declare war. The Joint Chiefs of Staff discuss
blasting Arizona back to the Stone Age, or offering the Indians New Jersey,
then decide that Max will infiltrate disguised as an Indian. Max, after
flirting with Chief Red Cloud's daughter to avoid torture, finds an
enormous arrow disguides as a missile - the second biggest arrow Max has
ever seen.
OUR MAN IN LEOTARDS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 20, 1965
CONTROL's new drug, immobilo, has been stolen,, presumably to be used by
Emilio Maharana - dancer and political activist - against Don Hernando, the
Ambassador of Pinerovia. Both 86 and 99 pass themselves off as dancers to
penetrate the Naharana dance troupe, burst in on the Ambassador, demand
that he eat a peach (peaches counteract immobilo) to save his country, and
force Naharana to expose himself and his plot.
THE DAY SMART TURNED CHICKEN Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 6, 1965
Smart reports that a dead cowboy in his bed warned of a plot to poison the
Morovian Ambassador. The cowboy disappears, reappears, and Max's
insistence persuades the Chief that Max is goofy from fatigue. Thinking a
costume party is in progress at the Embassy, Max dresses up as a chicken
and descends on the soiree. No costume party. No poisoned punch. When
Max goes to court to testify against KAOS, they cite recent events to
impugn his credibility - until Max proves that everything was staged
precisely to make him look nutty.
SATAN PLACE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 13, 1965
Under Max's vigilant eye, the Chief is kidnapped and help for $200,000
ransom while KAOS's Dr. Harvey Satan freezes the Chief, preparing him for
a surgical procedure to render him pro-KAOS. Max passes himself off as
the surgeon, and 99 as his nurse. Together, they spring the Chief by
freezing Satan and his men. Just as well, since CONTROL had only managed
to raise $600 towards the Chief's ransom.
TOO MANY CHIEFS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 27, 1965
Max hides Tanya Lupescu in his apartment until she can testify against
KAOS and convey the intricacies of its code system. But KAOS master
impersonator, Alexi Sebastian, gets to her by disguising himself as the
Chief. The real Chief arrives too. Max establishes the faker by shining
a light in his face. Alexi blinks, betraying his identifying trait of
weak eyes.
MY NEPHEW, THE SPY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 4, 1965
Max, simply trying to buy shoes, doesn't suspect that the shoe store is a
KAOS front. But KAOS, thinking he knows, tries to eliminate him.
Simultaneously, Max's Uncle Abner and Aunt Bertha come to visit. Max and
99 do their utmost to subdue the KAOS culprits without betraying to Abner
and Bertha that they're spies - while Max's apartment obligingly springs
its booby traps on them.
WEEKEND VAMPIRE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 18, 1965
When agents are found murdered with mysterious puncture marks on their
necks, a vampire panic grips the city of Washington. The trail leads to
the spooky manor of Dr. Drago, who apparantly sleeps in a coffin. 86 and
99 invade it by passing themselves off as honeymooners. They discover
that the coffin leads to Drago's lab, and that Drago, a former CONTROL
scientist, has been bent on destroying the agency since it discharged and
humiliated him.
ABOARD THE ORIENT EXPRESS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 11, 1965
After several CONTROL couriers fail to transport a payroll briefcase, Max
is assigned to the task. Double agent Krochanska - a German Shepherd
going by the cover name Cyril - almost spirits it away, but Max and 99
keep it secure, forging yet another link in the great chain of victories
for CONTROL union benefits around the world.
DOUBLE AGENT Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 8, 1965
Max gambles, drinks, picks a quarrel with the Chief, and goes to seed
hoping that KAOS will recruit him. They take him - and 99 for good
measure - ordering Max to kill her to prove his switched loyalty. Max
and 99 bean and shoot a number of KAOS operatives in succession, only to
learn that each and every one is an agent working undercover for the U.S.
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 25, 1965
An Arab prince, who has to weigh 300 pounds to keep his kingdom, is
kidnapped under Smart's watchful guard by Mary "Jack" Armstrong, the
world's strongest female spy. Mary Jack drugs Max with his own truth
serum, threatens him with her vast strength, and reduces the prince's
weight to a mere 240 pounds. But no problem. The prince's new size
makes him a matinee idol in his kingdom, enabling him to retuan his title
and throne.
KISSES FOR KAOS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 15, 1965
99 vamps KAOS art dealer and saboteur Rex Savage, but she can't get his
fingerprints because he almost never takes his gloves off. She lures him
to dinner, employing various ID devices from Professor Parker's lab, but
KAOS intervenes. Savage, 99, Max, and KAOS artist Mondo next find
themselves in Savage's gallery - trapped by a floor bathed in explosive
paint. They escape and Max borrows some paint to redecorate his
apartment.
THE DEAD SPY SCRAWLS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 22, 1965
The Shark, a pool whiz and KAOS kingpin, intercepts and decodes CONTROL
messages with a highly sophisticated computer hidden inside a pool table.
In order to be able to pass himself off as a pro, Max takes lessons from
a pro, doing the man considerable bodily harm in the process. Luckily,
Professor Parker comes through with a remore control cue ball which 99
can manipulate with her lipstick. Smart unwittingly opens the pool table
by shooting the correct combination of balls, then KOs the Shark with his
trick ball.
BACK TO THE OLD DRAWING BOARD Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 29, 1965
KAOS acquires Hymie, the invincible robot, to capture Max Smart and
Professor Shotwire. Hymie, passing himself off as a CONTROL agent, goes
to a party with Smart and 99 to protect the professor, then proceeds to
take Max's every word literally and ape his every move. He abducts 86,
99 and Shotwire to a KAOS hideout - then turns on KAOS instead, because
only Max has ever treated him like a real person.
ALL IN THE MIND Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 5, 1965
A neighbor of Smart's who works for a psychiatrist calls Max to report a
KAOS link, then drowns in a phone booth. Max pretends to be a disturbed
colonel, and 99 puports to be a secretary. They infiltrate successfully,
are caught by KAOS and nearly drowned in a phone booth, which KAOS has
rigged for just such occasions.
SMART, THE ASSASSIN Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 19, 1965
An attempt is made on the Chief's life at the exclusive Regency Club, and
only the keen eye of club employee Cedric Devonshire prevents the
catastrophe. But Devonshire works for KAOS, abducts Smart,
pharmaceutically hypnotizes him to kill the next person who says
"checkmate" (which the Chief is certain to say, because he always beats
Max at chess). Then Devonshire watches the match, becoming so impatient
with Max's slow game that he blurts out "checkmate" and is shot by Max.
DEAR DIARY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 12, 1965
Retired agent 4 has been keeping a detailed diary of all his years in the
secret service. Now Gaffer is gone - kidnapped by enemy agents who want
his diary. Max's only lead: "Birds of a feather flock together." A
handful of old spies falls under Max's suspicion - one of whom in fact is
the culprit.
I'M ONLY HUMAN Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 26 1965
Fang is a pathetic shadow of his former self since his forced retirement
from CONTROL, but Max pushes to have him reinstated in an assignment
involving the infiltration of KAOS's kennel. KAOS blanks out Fang's TV
transmission collar to lure Smart into a trap, thereby ambushing the
Chief. They also brainwash Fang, and every important dog in Washington,
making them efficient killing animals. Fortunately, Max turns the tables
on KAOS, blowing up the forces of evil with its own strategem.
STAKEOUT ON BLUE MIST MOUNTAIN Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 5, 1965
Max goes to the airport to investigate a steady stream of 338 KAOS agents
pouring into the country. It appears that each agent is bringing in one
part of a bomb that will be assembled at Blue Mist Mountain. Smart
penetrates Blue Mist Mountain in the guise of a KAOS agent, then Max, 99,
and the Chief burst into the mountain cabin to find and deactivate the
bomb. Mac succeeds by getting his necktie caught in it.
THE AMAZING HARRY WHO Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 12, 1965
Hawaiian detective Harry Who assists Max and 99 as they follow a trail of
agents and laundry tickets into the Claw's carefullt crafted trap. Max
accidentally knifes Who and nearly loses his head in a steam press, but
ultimately cracks the Claw's operation - a chain of Chinese laundries
doubling as KAOS fronts.
HUBERT'S UNFINISHED SYMPHONY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 19, 1965
CONTROL agent/violinist Hubert is killed while trying to leave the name
of KAOS's new Mr. Big. Max poses as a music critic to find the assassin
- a Mr. Badeff, whose name is encoded in Hubert's symphony. Badeff
captures Max and 99, but Max escapes with the aid of his heliocoat - just
in time to prevent the pianist from striking the keyboard and
inadvertantly blowing up the concert hall by playing Hubert's Symphony.
SHIP OF SPIES (Part 1) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 2, 1965
Max takes to the high seas on the frieghter "Evening Star" to recover
stolen plans for a nuclear amphibian battleship. 99 follows. Their
clue: a clip-clop sound. Unfortunately, everything on the ship makes
that sound - a flamenco dancer's castanets, a man with a cane, a
wheelchair. Max falls overboard into shark-infested waters while
exchanging gunfire with one of the mysterious clip-clops.
SHIP OF SPIES (Part 2) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 9, 1965
Max goes to the captain for help. The captain vows to assist but doesn't
do much, since he - with his clip-clopping wooden leg - is the rotten
apple. Agent 44 tries to warn Max and 99, but someone shoots him before
he gets the wrods out. Max finds out the hard way, at the business end
of the captain's peg leg. Max overcomes the captain, and discovers that
the nuclear amphibian battleship plans are in the form of scale-model
ships in bottles.
SHIPMENT TO BEIRUT Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 23, 1965
Thinking to find stolen plans after getting a tip from a model, Max buys,
and shreds to ribbons, a number of astronomically expensive designer
gowns. When he finally contacts the right model, KAOS turns her into a
plastic mannequin. When Max identifies the mannequin for the Chief, the
Chief questions Mac;s sanity and deactivates his status as a CONTROL
agent. 99 goes under cover in the same salon and is likewise grabbed and
plastisized by the forces of evil. Max solves the case and revitalizes
her for the forces of niceness.
THE LAST ONE IN IS A ROTTEN SPY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. May 7, 1965
An endangered female agent named Verna phones Max from a swimming meet.
Max and 99 go to her rescue, passing themselves off as a trainer and a
chaperone. Max has trouble picking her out because all of the Russian
team members' names sound alike to him.
*** SECOND SEASON ***
A SPY FOR A SPY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 1, 1966
Siegfried knocks out and replaces a magician, then kidnaps the Chief as
part of a magic act on the Chief's birthday. Siegfried then demands the
X-11 as the ransom for the Chief. Rather than pay the ransom, CONTROL
starts kidnapping agents to swap; KAOS follows suit. Soon only Max and
Siegfried haven't been kidnapped. They meet, return all agents to their
proper sides, seem to be even - except that Siegfried kidnaps CONTROL's
bus driver before driving away.
THE ONLY WAY TO DIE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 8, 1966
The Blaster, planning to destroy the U.S. Internal Revenue building, is
due in with "the lover". CONTROL allows everyone to believe Max has been
killed in the line of duty. 99, though in mourning, accepts an
assignment to protect Antonio Carlos Carioca aboard his $2 million yacht,
"El Amador". Max, realizing that "el amador" is Spanish for "the lover",
boards the yacht dressed as 99's old aunt. He rpevents Carioca from
triggering the bomb, then triggers it himself while explaining the
mechanism to the Chief and 99.
STRIKE WHILE THE AGENT IS HOT Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 24, 1966
Before dying, agent 47 gives Max a clue - "the little red tractor that
huffed and puffed" - along with the task of head negotiator for the new
labor contract between CONTROL and its agents. Max zealously persues
negotiations with the Chief, and other than its giving him insight into
KAOS contracts, fares less well on his case. When KAOS corners him, Max
uses his imminent demise to pressure the Chief into signing the new
controact, then disarms the KAOS man - believing (inaccurately) that his
gun has no shots left.
MAXWELL SMART, ALIAS JIMMY BALLANTINE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 15, 1966
When an armored truck driver delivers towels to a barbershop and opens
fire on Max, CONTROL suspects foul play. The shop proves to be a KAOS
clearing house for everything - from information to heists. Max, passing
himself off as master safecracker Jimmy Ballantine, is sent by KAOS to
rob the Federal Reserve Bank - which he succeeds in doing only because
the Chief orders every Washington area bank to leave its vaults open.
ANATOMY OF A LOVER Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 17, 1966
KAOS has rewired Hymie to kill the Chief. CONTROL orders Max to junk
Hymie. Instead, Max repairs him, hides him in his apartment, and fakes
out CONTROL with a sack of parts from a washing machine. While hiding,
Hymie meets the Chief's niece, Phoebe, who becomes smitten. Knowing Max
plans to take Hymie to dinner, KAOS jumps him and reprograms him to shoot
the next person who says "waiter, the check please". This results in
Hymie shooting himself when Max asks for the check in Spanish, and Hymie
translates for Phoebe.
KISS OF DEATH Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 31, 1966
Smart recues madcap heiress Tracy Dunhill, but she's really a KAOS plant.
She is in fact the daughter of the founder of KAOS's U.S. branch. Max
killed him a year ago; she's determined to destroy Max on the stroke of
midnight on the anniversary of his death. Convinced that Max can't
resist her, she arms her lips with poisoned lipstick. But Max outwits
her - by taking the precaution of wearing plastic lips.
CASABLANCA Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 22, 1966
Instead of taking his vacation as ordered, Max persues the Choker to
Casablanca. The Chief assigns 99 to the case, but she doesn't know Max
is there, and he doesn't know she is. They spend more time spying on
each other than they do on the Choker - and suspect each other of being
the Choker - until the Choker tries to choke Max and 99. Max bests the
Choker with the old false neck trick.
THE GREATEST SPY ON EARTH Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 19, 1966
When agents die violently at the circus, Max and 99 follow their only
clue - a diamond ring. No sooner do they find further evidence of KAOS
smuggling than Max is captured and groomed to be a human cannonball,
while 99 will be forced into the lion's cage as a lion tamer. They
locate the diamonds and defeat the men from KAOS with the help of Hondo
the strongman and the Chief, disguised as a clown.
HOO DONE IT Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 5, 1966
Colonel Forsythe is murdered by an exploding birthday cake in a densely
overfoliated tropical hotel. Max, aided by Hawaiian sleuth Harry Hoo,
questions the suspects. In a send-up of Agatha Christie's "Ten Little
Indinas", the island is suddenly cut off from the mainland while, one by
one, every suspect but Smart and Hoo dies. Smart and Hoo solve the crime
- but it's 99, arriving just in time, who saves them from the killer.
RUB-A-DUB-DUB...THREE SPIES IN A SUB Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 12, 1966
While investigating KAOS's computer-enhanced piracy, Max and 99 are
captured by Siegfried and taken into his sub. This puts the Chief in the
awkward position of having to decide whether to blow it up with his
agents on board, or let the enemy go in order to spare them. The Chief
decides to torpedo. Fortunately, 99's quick thinking compels Siegfried
to surrender first.
THE DECOY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 29, 1966
CONTROL tricks KAOS into believing that Max is carrying CONTROL's new
code. Hugo from the newspaper stand gasses him with a horoscope book and
turns him over to KAOS. KAOS tries to break him with sexy femme fatale
Greta. When she fails, they use truth serum, but since Max knows
nothing, he has nothing to reveal.
BRONZEFINGER Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 3, 1966
Max brushes up on art restoration and 99 becomes a museum tour guide in
order to flush out the diabolical art thief Bronzefinger. No sooner does
Max line up three suspects than, one by one, they die. Bronzefinger
captures 86 and 99, intending to encase them in molten metal. But they
shed their bonds just in time, thanks to 99's razor ring.
THE WHOLE TOOTH AND... Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 24, 1966
Travelling with microfim plans from a nuclear reactor in the cap of his
tooth and realizing KAOS has tailed him, Max stashes it in the mouth of a
strange man - whom he soon discovers to be a convict on the way to Joliet
State Penitentiary. Max has himself arrested to recover the tooth. The
success of his mission wins him the Spy of the Year Award, but getting
him out of jail won't be so easy. Besides, CONTROL has a policy against
hiring ex-convicts.
ISLAND OF THE DARNED Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 26, 1966
Hobbyist and KAOS assassin Hans Hunter hunts down homo sapiens in his
isalnd jungle, and now has his sights set on 86's life and 99's remaining
with him on Schwartz's Island. He gives them a knife and the promise
that if they survive until sundown, they'll be set free. When he corners
them leaving no way out, 99 prompts Max to destroy him with an exploding
bazooka butt cigarette.
PERILS IN A PET SHOP Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 10, 1966
Max trails a talking parrot who seems to know all about KAOS. The trail
leads to Kilmen's Pet Shop and Melnik the smiling killer. When both Max
and a KAOS henchman are shot by a tranquilizer gun intended for Fang,
they have a violent fist fight - in slow motion - giving the Chief and 99
just enough time to rescue Max.
IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 7, 1967
When Octavia, the gorgeous spy, destroys a series of CONTROL agents by
driving them mad with desire, Hymie - a robot impervious to emotion - is
appointed CONTROL's #2 man to thwart her. But because she too is
unexpectedly a robot, Hymie falls hard and prepares to give her vital
information. Max and the Chief intervene. Octavia self-destructs.
Hymie attempts to rebuild her, creating a robot that looks perfect, but
talks like Max.
SOMEONE DOWN HERE HATES ME Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 14, 1967
Siegfried puts Max on the KAOS hit list with $250,000 on his head, and
says that if Max is still around in forty-eight hours, the annual KAOS
bingo party and barbecue is kaput. Max becomes a nervous wreck who
suspects, and jumps, all sorts of strangers. The reward leaps to
$500,000. Max learns of Dr. Noodelman, a surgeon capable of performing
instantly healing plastic surgery. Turns out Noodelman has been doing
the KAOS killers who attacked Max - now Noodelman wants to do *in* Max
himself, for the $500,000 reward.
CUTBACK AT CONTROL Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 21, 1967
Max and the Chief testify before a Senate investigating committee which
has cut back their funds and is close to disbanding CONTROL entirely.
Smart accepts a KAOS job offer in hopes of finding a big double agent and
convincing the Senate of CONTROL's worth. While attending a KAOS
training school, Max hears the phrase "the jig is up" - which leads him
to stumble on the identity of the double agent, who is none other than
Dietrich, head of the Senate committee.
THE MUMMY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 28, 1967
KAOS is shipping agents to America in mummy cases. An operative at the
Metropolitan Museum receives them, and returns kidnapped CONTROL agents
in their place. The museum's attractive assistant curator lures Max into
a trap. The curator wraps him head-to-toe in bandages, and all but has
him crated when the Chief rescues him and drops him several times in a
row.
THE GIRLS FROM KAOS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 4, 1967
Miss USA, the daughter of a famous scientist, comes to Max for protection
from kidnappers. Max complies by following her to the beauty pageant
where, the Chief guesses, one of the entries is a KAOS plant. The plants
are Miss Tasmania, her chaperone (actually, her husband, KAOS agent
Dmitri Sokoloff in disguide), and Miss Formosa. The three assasinate
each other, leaving Smart and Miss USA unscathed.
THE MAN FROM YENTA Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 11, 1967
Max, with the help of Agent 498 (Israel's top man from YENTA) must
safeguard the life of Arab Prince Abu ben Bubbie, though KAOS's villain
and master of disguise Le Moco eludes them at every turn. At one point,
86, 498, Le Moco, and the prince are all dressed exactly alike - and it
takes pulling beards and educated guessing to narrow down the field.
SMART FIT THE BATTLE OF JERICHO Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 18, 1967
Buildings of the U.S. space agency blow up mysteriously as soon as
construction is completed. Max infiltrates the KAOS-supported Joshua
Contruction Company in the guise of a construction worker, and learns the
KAOS is imbeddinmg nitro in each building.
WHERE-WHAT-HOW-WHO AM I? Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 25, 1967
Smart overhears a KAOS scheme to blow up space scientists, then has an
auto accident - courtesy of KAOS - before he can report the details. He
wakes up in a hospital that refuses to release him, because they *are*
KAOS. They give him anesia pills, causing him to forget everything.
Each time he's about to remember, he takes a pill and goes blank. Then
99 remembers Smart's wrist recorder, which he had on when he heard the
plot. She plays it, finds KAOS men Petroff and Schnell, and with Max,
saves the world by stopping them.
HOW TO SUCCEED IN THE SPY BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING
Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 11, 1967
Siegfried offs a KAOS agent to save Max, then asks to join CONTROL. With
Shtarker's help, he stages his own mock assasination, drops hints about
an attack on Fort Knox, tricks the Chief into deploying CONTROL agents to
Kansas, and prepares to gas the unguarded chiefs of CONTROL at their
banquet. This time, Smart smells a rat, outwitting Siegfried by wearing
a gas mask in a false nose.
THE EXPENDABLE AGENT Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 4, 1967
British agent Chain helps Max guard rocket fuel scientist Professor
Whitaker in Max's apartment. KAOS wires the apartment to explode at
midnight. When that fails, KAOS has a woman pose as Whitaker's niece and
shoot him. But the man Max thought was the professor was the expendable
agent, a decoy; and the man he took for Chain was the rocket whiz.
APPOINTMENT IN SAHARA Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 25, 1967
KAOS, becoming the first private organization to own a nuclear bomb,
demands the total disarmament of all the world's nuclear nations, and Max
and 99 have less than seventy-two hours in the Sahara to find and stop
KAOS. KAOS finds them first, parched and dying on the sands. KAOS
feigns hospitality, only to stake Max and 99 exposed to the burning sun.
A dancing girl rescues the two CONTROL agents, freeing Max to rescue the
world.
PUSSYCATS GALORE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 1, 1967
When important scientists have been disappearing from Pussycat key clubs,
Max and 99 pose as German scientists Fritz and Greta Braun, while male
agent Charlie Watkins disguises himself as a stacked blonde woman and
takes a job at a Pussycat Club. KAOS tosses Watkins in a freezer and
drugs 99, but Max feigns a trance till the right moment - then polishes
off his assailants with a little help from CONTROL.
A MAN CALLED SMART (part 1) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 8, 1967
Max negotiates a $25,000 bribe for information on the KAOS agents who
snatched a lake-evaporating formula from CONTROL labs. But his
informant, character actor Russell Bedioyskin, is shot before he can
divulge his secret. The Chief and 99 take Bedioyskin to the hospital.
Max, sent as a decoy, rolls out of a KAOS ambulance and down the street
while strapped to a gurney.
A MAN CALLED SMART (part 2) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 15, 1967
The urgency of KAOS's ransom demands brings the ancient Admiral back to
CONTROL's helm. The Admiral goes on TV to reassure the nation. Aided by
the Admiral, Max and the Chief discover the Bedioyskin is the nearly
identical brother of formula inventor Dr. Smith. In a hospital shootout,
the Chief is hit and passes out limp, perhaps dead.
A MAN CALLED SMART (part 3) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 22, 1967
As the Chief recuperates, KAOS dries up Niagra Falls. Max and 99 follow
Bedioyskin's clues to the Three Brothers Omniwash, a KAOS front for
illegal gambling, and to Panamint Studios' Stage 7 in Los Angeles - and
an all-out showdown of guns, fists, bottles, furniture, and foils between
Max and Otto Hurrah.
*** THIRD SEASON ***
VIVA SMART Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 16, 1967
Max and 99 visit San Saludos, a corrupt Latin American dictatorship run
by General Diablo Pajarito. CONTROL wants to return the imprisoned
ex-president Don Carlos to power. Max and 99 dress in the costumes of
and perform as Flamenco dancers Conchito and Conhata, are apprehended and
thrown in jail, bribe the firing squad (after haggling their price down
to $60 and then getting a rebate since only half the firing squad could
be reached in time), escape with Don Carlos and his daughter, and are
recaptured by soldiers who can't wait to tell them the good news - Don
Carlos is Prez again.
WITNESS FOR THE PERSECUTION Saturday, 8:30 P.M. September 23, 1967
A KAOS football which contains both a bomb and a coding device implicates
Mr. Tudbury as a KAOS operative. Tudbury retaliates by ordering KAOS to
"Get Smart" before he can testify against him at the trial. Max holes up
in his apartment, protected by an arsenal of new gadgets from CONTROL's
lab. 99 moves in to help out. KAOS attacks. Max repels them,
destroying his apartment and getting himself evicted in the process. He
eventually makes it to trial without getting killed - no thanks to the
cop who ticketed him for jaywalking as he dodged bullets to cross the
street.
THE SPY WHO MET HIMSELF Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 7, 1967
KAOS strikes with its League of Imposters. One of its members
impersonates Max, even down to the recent bruise on his ankle. The real
Max confronts the fake one in the Chief's office. The wrong Max is
established as the real Max before a board of inquiry. The right Chief
bursts in, shooting the wrong Chief, leading the wrong Max to shoot the
right Chief and the real Max to shoot the wrong Max. We hope.
THE SPIRIT IS WILLING Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 14, 1967
Max meets infomer Ann Ferris in a graveyard. She promises to deliver
evidence against Paul John Mondebello, disappears in a twinkling, but
leaves her headstone in full view. Max learns that Ann Ferris was the
name of Mondebello's last victim, so decides to hold a seance to contact
her again. The spirit of Ann requests $50,000. Back in the graveyard,
Max discovers that Ann faked her death to raise money and run away with
her defecting KAOS lover. Mondebello gets the drop on Max and 99, but
Ann's mother reapears from the dead and saves them.
MAXWELL SMART, PRIVATE EYE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 21, 1967
In this spoof of Bogart flicks, Max and 99 moonlight as private eyes
because CONTROL is experiencing another budget cut. Seemingly by
coincidence, they're hired by KAOS agents Mr. Sidney and Mr. Peter to
protect the very women CONTROL has assigned them to. In so doing, Max
becomes a security leak. Then, trapped, he gets the drop on two agents
and tricks the third into leaving by the fire escape - when there isn't
any.
SUPERSONIC BOOM Saturday, 8:30 P.M. October 28, 1967
KAOS attacks CONTROL headquarters with a supersonic boom, then goes on TV
to demand $50 million within forty-eight hours, otherwise New York City
will get the next blast. Max and 99 trace the source of the boom to a
carwash. But KAOS, using an illusion room, convinces them that the
device has been moved to South America. Contacting the Chief, Max has
U.S. military resources mobilized against Argentina, then, discerning
that he's been tricked, stops the supersonic boom single-handedly, then
uses it on the Chief's office by mistake.
ONE OF OUR OLIVES ARE MISSING Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 4, 1967
A double agent hands Max a miniature radio, built into an olive. Western
singer Ozark Annie swallows it. When Kaos uses the transmitter, Annie's
stomach talks. Max takes her home for protection. Siegfried follows,
disguised as a CONTROL doctor. Max's rescue attempts are at first
helped, then hindered, by Annie's developing a crush on him.
WHEN GOOD FELLOWS GET TOGETHER Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 18, 1967
KAOS has created the ultimate robot, Gropo. It's up to Hymie to destroy
him. But Hymie refuses to be reprogrammed for badness. He'd rather be
Gropo's friend. In a showdown at a Western ghost town, Hymie realizes
that Gropo is not a nice piece of metal and, with Max's help, disposes of
him in a deep well.
DR. YES Saturday, 8:30 P.M. November 25, 1967
A missile launch goes awry, sabotaged by the Fu Manchu of KAOS - Dr. Yes.
Max and 99 masquerade as "stupid, harmless, fun-loving vacationers" at
Lost Lake, reputed to be near Yes's hideout. Yes orders them eliminated
but they escape his trap and discover his underwater power station, only
to fall into his evil clutches yet again. This time, Max tricks Yes into
poking himself in the face with his poison-tipped fingernail.
THAT OLD GANG OF MINE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 2, 1967
After subduing the Scar with the old gun in the flashlight trick, Max and
99 proceed to London's Crashing Boar pub in search of British CONTROL.
Max takes on the Scar's identity to infiltrate the Scorpion Gang, nail
their leader, and uncover the mastermind behind the gang's plans to steal
the royal jewels. Both the mastermind and her boyfriend, who work for
British CONTROL, surrender when Max threatens them with nitro.
THE MILD ONES Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 9, 1967
The Purple Knights, a hippie motorcycle gang fashioned after King
Arthur's Round Table, kidnaps a foreign prime minister for KAOS. Max and
99 infiltrate as "Whells" and "Legs". Max and the gang leader joust on
motorcycles, using mops for lances. The leader's sweetie falls for Max.
The gang fails to draw and quarter Max with motorcycles.
CLASSIFICATION: DEAD Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 23, 1967
Poisoned while romancing a KAOS agent, Max is doomed to die at 1:00 P.M.
CONTROL's Dr. Steele can duplicate the poison but can't find the
antidote. Max tracks down Mr. Hercules, the man responsible for
poisoning him. Hercules wants to swap the antidote for CONTROL's new
code but, with seconds to live, Max poisons him. The two grapple over
the antidote and pass out, but the Chief arrives just in time to save
Max.
THE MYSTERIOUS DR. T Saturday, 8:30 P.M. December 30, 1967
An important CONTROL scientist dies, confessing before he goes that a Dr.
T actually masterminded his greatest work. Max and 99 for CONTROL - and
Siegfried for KAOS - beat the bushes for the mystery whiz, finally
discovering him to be the twelve-year-old Tyler J. Tattledove.
THE KING LIVES? Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 6, 1968
In a take-off on "The Prisoner of Zenda", Max bears such a striking
resemblence to the King of Coronia that he is able to sub for him to
thwart an attempted assasination. The king's half-brother, Basil, wants
the crown, and kidnaps 99 to obtain it. Max, suddenly a throwback to the
nineteenth century, rescues 99, the crown, and Coronia with a surprising
display of swordsmanship.
THE GROOVY GURU Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 13, 1968
The Groovy Guru has launched a massive, drug-and-music-induced freak-out
in Washington, D.C., with plans to go national on television. He intends
to incite them to anti-CONTROL insurrection. The show starts, but
doesn't air, thanks to Max and 99.
THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK (part 1) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. January 27, 1968
Sid, Max's buddy from the Korean War, arrives unexpectedly just as a KAOS
defector tries to sell Max a book full of secrets. Sid, finding it,
mistakes it for a "little black book" and uses it to fix up dates for
himself and Max. The dates are with female KAOS agents. When Max gets
the drop on the ladies at a restaurant, Sid disarms him, thinking him
totally bonkers.
THE LITTLE BLACK BOOK (part 2) Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 3, 1968
Max convinces Sid that he's a secret agent, then with him finds KAOS's
villainous Maestro, who captures them, chains them in the cellar, and
nearly succeeds in eliminating them with a cannon timed to the "1812
Overture". Instead, they turn the cannon on the Maestro, freeing Sid to
date 99.
DON'T LOOK BACK Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 10, 1968
In this spoof of "The Fugitive", a Max Smart look-alike robs a bank and
kills a guard. When KAOS plants evidence in Max's apartment, Max is
arrested and tried for the crime. Not at liberty to reveal his CONTROL
agent identity, Max does the next best thing - he defends himself by
attempting to bribe the foreman of the jury. Sentenced to death, Max
escapes from Sgt. Gronski, goes on the lam in pursuit of the one-armed
man who can prove his innocence, and exonerates himself in a showdown at
Baltimore's Main Street Hotel.
99 LOSES CONTROL Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 17, 1968
99 resigns from CONTROL to accept handsome, wealthy casino owner Victor
Royal's proposal of marriage. Taking the alias "Max Wheel", 86 considers
a job as Royal's bodyguard. Max discovers that Royal works for KAOS, and
springs 99 while they still have our lives.
THE WAX MAX Saturday, 8:30 P.M. February 24, 1968
When Max quotes Ghengis Khan at an amusement park shooting gallery, 99
wins a kewpie doll. Then the two go through the tunnel of love. Weapons
just miss them, while Max blithely eats a sandwich. They escape the
tunnel to discover the park has been emptied except for the KAOS agents
firing on them. The kewpie doll, it seems, is a KAOS device for
delivering plutonium. Max and 99 duck into the chamber of horrors, where
exhibits come to life - they're KAOS agents - and attempt to guillotine
Max. Max outwits them, thanks to the old inflatable head in the cloak
trick.
OPERATION RIDICULOUS Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 2, 1968
Max has to make CONTROL look good for a "Week News" magazine article.
Reluctant to rely only on Max's natural stupidity, KAOS compounds his
inevitable blunders. Under Max's protection, the magazine reporter
experiences a series of painful acccidents. 99 discerns the plot, makes
CONTROL look great, and gives all the credit to Max.
SPY, SPY BIRDIE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 9, 1968 A
little old man in red earmuffs - Albert Pfister by name - appears at
Max's apartment and pleads with him to signs a petition against noise.
Max rebuffs him. Pfister retaliates by systematically and noiselessly
blowing up the world. CONTROL assumes that KAOS is behind the
explosions; KAOS accuses CONTROL. Max and Siegfried join forces to find
Pfister, who has a menagerie of carrier pigeons armed with
nitro-whisperin and ready to be released. Max disarms Pfister by noisily
striking a match, then has to prevent Siegfried from taking up where
Pfister left off.
RUN, ROBOT, RUN Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 16, 1968
When the Chief puts Hymie over Max on a case, Max smarts - briefly - then
accepts Hymie's analysis of how to preserve the country's honour at an
important track meet. Snead and Neal, of the CAD division of KAOS,
temporarily put the free world's track stars out of commission, meaning
Hymie has to compete in their place. Despite CAD interference, Hymie of
the West wins effortless, wooden panache.
THE HOT LINE Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 23, 1968
Using the Chief's hot line and a voice that sounds like the President's,
KAOS phones CONTROL, ordering Max to take over, and to open CONTROL's
files to a KAOS plant. Tactlessly but happily, Max replaces the Chief -
who has to penetrate KAOS, and flush out the truth, in the guise of a
singing waiter.
THE RELUCTANT REDHEAD Saturday, 8:30 P.M. April 6, 1968
The Krispin Papers contain the names of every politician, army officer,
and dentist who owes alligiance to KAOS. Krispin will swap the list in
exchange for his wife, Amanda Krispin. With no Amanda on hand, CONTROL
recruits her look-alike, Mimsi Sage, whom Max romances to assure her
loyalty. When the time comes to make the trade, Mimsi reveals that she's
the real Amanda, steals the papers at gunpoint, and is subdued only
because Krispin's statuary garden is full of CONTROL agents dressed as
statues.
DIE, SPY Saturday, 8:30 P.M. March 30, 1968
A KAOS agent quit when refused a promotion, tried without success to join
CONTROL, then formed his own band to destroy both agencies. Max, along
with a new recruit named Samuels, travels the world in search of this
nemesis who has changed his face through plastic surgery but can be
flushed out by his passion for Ping-Pong. The episode echoes "I Spy",
with "I Spy" star Robert Culp in a cameo as an Istanbul waiter.
*** FOURTH SEASON ***
THE IMPOSSIBLE MISSION Saturday, 8:00 P.M. September 21, 1968
In a tease parodying the opening of "Mission: Impossible", Max is
assigned to find the Leader - KAOS's top agent - before the Leader uses
Hellman's Theory to obliterate the human race. Both 86 and 99 go
undercover, he as a trumpet player and she as a dancer. When it looks as
if the two are trapped with no hope of rescue, Max tells 99 that he'd
marry her if they weren't about to die. She thinks of a way out, thereby
trapping Max for life.
SNOOPY SMART VS. THE RED BARON Saturday, 8:00 P.M. September 28, 1968
KAOS's "Operation Starch" has destroyed most of the U.S. potato crop, but
the U.S. has suppressed the news by substituting look-alike edible foam
rubber. 86 and 99 go to Idaho to investigate, managing to stop off and
visit 99's mother on the way. There they find Siegfried - the key to
"Operation Starch" - with his World War I crop duster. Max and Siegfried
duke it out in a WW I-style ariel dogfight, which Max wins by leaping out
of his downed plane onto Siegfried's.
CLOSELY WATCHED PLANES Saturday, 8:00 P.M. October 5, 1968
Max, assigned to protect a courier and attache case after several of them
have disappeared, loses both mid-air, then volunteers to be the next
courier. With 99 backing him up as an airline stewardess, he discovers -
the hard way - that the couriers all fell through a trap door of the
lavatory. Max bests the KAOS pilot and co-pilot in a fist fight, leaving
no one able to fly the plane.
THE SECRET OF SAM VITTORIO Saturday, 8:00 P.M. October 12, 1968
Max and 99 pose and gangsters Connie Barker and Floyd Darrow in hopes
that dying mobster Sam Vittorio will confide to them the whereabouts of
his loot. Vittorio catches on, just as the real Connie and Floyd arrive.
He bumps off the genuine articles believing them to be Max and 99, then
spills his secret with his last breath: "Crime doesn't pay".
DIAMONDS ARE A SPY'S BEST FRIEND Saturday, 8:00 P.M. October 19, 1968
Max, buying 99's engagement ring, blunders in on a jewelry robbery. The
jeweler, rather than surrender his best diamond, sells it to Max for $80.
The Chief, suspecting that Max either stole it or sold out to KAOS,
insists on returning it to the jeweler to verify the story. Clues at the
jewelers lead them to a bowling alley, where KAOS agents are smuggling
diamonds which they keep stashed under their wigs.
THE WORST BEST MAN Saturday, 8:00 P.M. October 26, 1968
KAOS is systematically removing CONTROL agents one by one as Max asks
them to be his best man at his wedding. Rather than lose more agents,
the Chief orders Max to ask Hymie, who is indestructible. KAOS plants a
bomb in Hymie, intending to detonate it during Max's bachelor party, but
Max detects it, and dismantles it with Hymie's instruction.
A TALE OF TWO TAILS Saturday, 8:00 P.M. April 12, 1969
The Chief assigns 99 to pick up the three parts of the Gaul Formula,
while 86 substitute-teaches at spy-training school. As a practice
exercise, Max tells two students to tail 99. She takes them for KAOS
agents. But it's Max who rescues her from the real KAOS agent - by
dressing as Santa Claus in the middle of summer, and dueling with a flat
iron in a Chinese Laundry.
THE RETURN OF THE ANCIENT MARINER Saturday, 8:00 P.M. November 2, 1968
With Hymie away on an important case, the Admiral is set to be Max's best
man. The Chameleon, KAOS's latest master of disguise, poses as Larabee,
snatches the Admiral, and assumes his identity to infiltrate a top-secret
conference. There, the Chameleon becomes 99, and makes a clean getaway.
WITH LOVE AND TWITCHES Saturday, 8:00 P.M. November 16, 1968
Dr. Madre, who intercepted the map of the Melnick Uranium Mine, transfers
it to Max in the form of a drink-induced rash. The map will only come
out clearly if Max hangs from a hook on a door through his wedding night.
With KAOS after him and his map, Max barely makes it to his wedding -
which is only slightly marred by fistfights with KAOS men in the aisles.
THE LASER BLAZER Saturday, 8:00 P.M. November 30, 1968
On the Chief's instruction, Max goes to a Hong Kong tailor shop. The
tailor gives him a sports jacket which the Smarts' new maid sends out to
have cleaned. Only after the jacket is gone does Max learn that it's a
secret laser-equipped qeapon. The blazer destroys a few cleaning shops,
and the miad is exposed as a KAOS operative.
THE FARKAS FRACAS Saturday, 8:00 P.M. December 7, 1968
Max suprises 99 by inviting the Chief over for dinner. Caught without
dessert, 99 accepts a chocolate mousse from her next-door neighbour,
Naomi Farkas. Farkas is a KAOS agent, and has mildly poisoned the mousse
to get the Chief and Max out of the room. This much of her scheme
succeeds, then she and her husband steal the wrong attache case.
TEMPORARILY OUT OF CONTROL Saturday, 8:00 P.M. December 14, 1968
Hours before Max's belated honeymoon, KAOS arranges to have Max and the
Chief called up for active Naval Reserve duty. In the reserves, Max
outranks the Chief. When the two need to leave the ship to crack a case,
the captain refuses, never having heard of CONTROL. By the time they do
reach their destination, 99 has already foiled KAOS and restored things
to perfect order.
SCHWARTZ'S ISLAND Saturday, 8:00 P.M. December 21, 1968
Honeymooing by sailboat with 99, Max sinks the sailboat and the survival
raft. They swim to the safety of an island on which sits the world's
first giant nuclear magnet. The magnet, operated by Siegfried and
Shtarker, can suck the entire U.S. Sixth Fleet from mod-ocean and run it
aground. The Chief is captured with Max and 99, but all three escape by
inflating the Chief's diving suit (with the Chief in it) and using it as
a raft.
ONE NATION INVISIBLE Saturday, 8:00 P.M. December 28, 1968
KAOS has stolen the vitally important Ginzburg papers. Max, using Dr.
Canyon's new invisibility formula, penetrates KAOS's headquarters
security. The formula wears off. Max reappears, but still believes
himself invisible. KAOS prepares to force him into suicide, when a real
invisible CONTROL agent comes to his aid.
HURRAY FOR HOLLYWOOD Saturday, 8:00 P.M. January 4, 1969
Max and 99 take minor roles as the butler and Lady Fannie in a theatrical
work which KAOS is using to pass information. Letting the spotlight go
to his head, Max comes on like Mr. Hollywood - Laurence Hollywood, in
fact - wrecks the stage, forgets lines, and hams badly. KAOS decides to
eliminate him during a performance by substituting a real gun for a prop.
Before long, not only Max and 99, but also KAOS agents and the Chief, are
on stage doing battle and accepting resounding applause.
THE DAY THEY RAIDED THE KNIGHTS Saturday, 8:00 P.M. January 11, 1969
Budget cutbacks at CONTROL have forced 99 to look for another job.
Becoming a salesgirl at Knight's Stamp Redeption Center, she
unintentionally distributes arms for KAOS - because the shop is really a
KAOS munitions depot. When 99 catches on, she alerts the Chief, who
along with Larabee, dresses in drag to penetrate KAOS's ruse. KAOS
captures 99, the Chief, and Larabee, and Max miraculously springs them.
TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD Saturday, 8:00 P.M. January 18, 1969
Max and 99 are sent to Mira Loma, Mexico, to keep the priceless Tequila
Mockingbird out of KAOS's hands. Max poses as a bad doctor, 99 as a
dancer. They find an ax with a red W on it, which 99 concludes to mean a
red wax candle. The clue leads to the bird, and to a confrontation with
KAOS, which is averted by the Chief, who's been hiding under a serape and
sombrero.
I SHOT 86 TODAY Saturday, 8:00 P.M. February 1, 1969
Suspecting that KAOS golfers have been lobbing nuclear golf balls at
space centers and blowing them up, the Chief assigns Max and 99 to take
lessons and keep and eye on pro Chuck Cramer, particularly at 4:00 P.M.
when the adjoining space center will test the M-14 rocket. Max stops by
the secret lab of CONTROL's Doc Simon for magnetic golf balls and trick
clubs, and godd thing, too. After 86 stumbles on the old
mortar-in-the-rocks-in-the-fourteenth-hole trick and engages in a
spine-tingling golf cart chase, he uses the magnetic golf ball to stop
the nuclear one mid-air.
ABSORB THE GREEK Saturday, 8:00 P.M. February 8, 1969
Ordered to tail the Chief, Max and 99 learn that he's taken up computer
dating, and are scandalized by the age of the attractive young woman he's
seeing. 99 would much rather fix him up with her mother. As it happens,
the Chief's dates are a cover - the woman has been advising him of a
secret anti-aging formula. KAOS attempts to derail the meetings, but
kidnaps the wrong woman - 99's mother.
TO SIRE, WITH LOVE (part 1) Saturday, 8:00 P.M. February 15, 1969
For security reasons, Max and his perfect double - the King of Caronia -
change places at a costume ball. For the next few days, the King
exploits the resemblence by romancing 99. The King's enemy, Rupert of
Rathskeller, discovers the switch and sends his men over to Max's
apartment with a giant tarantula.
TO SIRE, WITH LOVE (part 2) Saturday, 8:00 P.M. February 22, 1969
Max tests 99's fidelity by pretending to be the King. She bites, then
catches on, and turns the tables on Max. Then he catches on, and turns
the tables on her. Meanwhile, Rupert's men are kidnapping the king, whom
Max must swashbuckle free.
SHOCK IT TO ME Saturday, 8:00 P.M. March 1, 1969
KAOS's formerly dead Dr. Zharko has found a way to bring himself and
fellow deceased agents back to life. Max and 99 hunt down Zharko , who
responds by preparing them for suspended animation. Max, who often
misses the obvious in the simplest situations, knows enough about
electricity to free himself and 99, and enough about explosives to put an
end to the mad doctor and his weird flunky, Bruce.
LEADSIDE Saturday, 8:00 P.M. March 8, 1969
In a take-off on "Ironside", wheelchair-bound Leadside and his two
assistants plot the destruction of CONTROL and the death of Maxwell
Smart. Having wrecked CONTROL's computer, Leadside zeroes in on Max, who
as usual is protected by his booby-trapped apartment. Leadside, who can
jog but can't walk, sprints into Max's apartment and fences with Max from
his wheelchair. Max prevails by opening the door, letting Leadside sail
through it and crash.
GREER WINDOW Saturday, 8:00 P.M. March 15, 1969
Max, having been shot where he sits, is issued armed crutches and has to
stay home. In the manner of "Rear Window", he watches the office across
the street, uncovers a KAOS plot to steal top-secret blueprints, and
defends himself more successfully than usual - thanks to the old
gun-in-the-crutch trick - when bad guy Greer comes to call.
THE NOT-SO-GREAT ESCAPE (part 1) Saturday, 8:00 P.M. March 22, 1969
Twenty-two CONTROL agents, including the Chief, have been kidnapped -
many through a revolving airport phone booth - and interned in a KAOS
P.O.W. camp near Passaic,New Jersey. Max penetrates the camp disguised
as Major Kessler of KAOS high command. Siegfried catches on to him, and
imprisons him with the other.
THE NOT-SO-GREAT ESCAPE (part 2) Saturday, 8:00 P.M. March 29, 1969
Max has to spring the prisoners before the real Major Kessler can take
them behind the Iron Curtain, brainwash them, and return them to CONTROL
as KAOS pawns. Despite the presence of an informer in their cell, and
Max digging an escape tunnel that leads back to the cell, Max secures the
prisoners' freedom. In digging the tunnel, he damages a power line,
which brings all the utility companies to the rescue.
*** FIFTH SEASON ***
PHEASANT UNDER GLASS Friday, 7:30 P.M. September 26, 1969
Max and 99 have to rescue nuclear genuis Professor Pheasant from an
impregnable glass chamber. But Max bungles it, and when 99 tells him
that he's going to be a father, he babbles to a reporter that he's a
secret agent. He has his face changed and accompanies opera singer Rosa
La Costa to KAOS headquarters as her pianist. La Costa's high note fails
to shatter the professor's glass walls, but she's big enough to beat them
down by dint of her bulk.
IRONHAND Friday, 7:30 P.M. October 3, 1969
KAOS has been taken over by IH Industries, whose president, Ironhand, has
one good hand, and one iron fist. Ironhand plots to steal the AAAMM
plans, which Max and 99 transport in a rapid-fire automatic, armed baby
buggy. Ironhand gets the buggy, then knocks himself senseless when Max
tells him the stock market fell twenty-one points.
VALERIE OF THE DOLLS Friday, 7:30 P.M. October 10, 1969
Believing it to be a KAOS front, Max and the Chief enroll in Miss
Valerie's School for Expectant Fathers. Max unintentionally swaps his
practice doll for one containing part of a secret formula. KAOS agents
recover it at gunpoint. then fly to Los Angeles from Washington, D.C.
Max, 99, and the Chief beat them to the airport by taking a faster mode
of transit: while KAOS was stacked up over L.A. airport, CONTROL took the
train.
WIDOW OFTEN ANNIE Friday, 7:30 P.M. October 17, 1969
Although 99 is within days of giving birth, the Chief orders Max to
romance and marry Ann Cameron, a professional twelve-time widow of
CONTROL agents. The Chief presides over the ceremony, so that it won't
be legal. As anticipated, Ann has Max sigh over his insurance to her,
then attempts to kill him on their wedding night. The Chief, 99, and
Larabee stop her. Max regrets the brevity of their fling.
THE TREASURE OF C. ERROL MADRE Friday, 7:30 P.M. October 24, 1969
When KAOS hijacks CONTROL's bankroll, CONTROL has to move its offices
into an elevator and lay off its entire staff. Max acquires the half-map
of prospector Froggsy Debs, then links up with C. Errol Madre in Mexico,
who has the other half. They find the gold. Banditos find them. Max
saves Madre, who isn't Madre but an agent for KAOS, then Max agrees to
split the gold with the government of the head bandito, who is really an
agent in the Mexican secret police.
SMART FELL ON ALABAMA Friday, 7:30 P.M. October 31, 1969
Max attempts to switch secret codes on Bohrman, a KAOS agent on her way
to delivering an important code-book to Colonel Kyle K. Kirby in the Deep
South. When Max fails, he has to infiltrate the Colonel's top-security
plantation, aided by a trio of convict commandos released from the
penitenitary in exchange for assisting CONTROL.
AND BABY MAKES FOUR (part 1) Friday, 7:30 P.M. November 7, 1969
Max must keep KAOS agent Simon the Likeable from stealing Pentagon
documents. In observing Simon, he manages to walk away with his quarry's
coat, so that he has the map to KAOS's new lair, and Simon has the map to
the hospital where 99 will have her babies. When the time comes, Max
drives 99 to the wrong hospital.
AND BABY MAKES FOUR (part 2) Friday, 7:30 P.M. November 14, 1969
Realizing they're in a KAOS sanitarium, Max and 99 break away and get to
the right hospital. The Chief, Larabee, and Simon the Likeable are
already there. The Chief, Max and Larabee find Simon too adorable to
arrest, but 99's mother slugs him unconscious for bumping into her and
causing her to drop a handful of change.
PHYSICIAN IMPOSSIBLE Friday, 7:30 P.M. Novmeber 21, 1969
When Max wings Big Eddie Little, an escaping con, Big Eddie vows revenge.
Eddie's thugs go to the hospital, kidnapping a doctor to treat Eddie.
But the "doctor" and his "nurse" are Max and 99, dressed in sterile
hospital masks and gowns to look in on their newborn twins. CONTROL
surrounds the hideout. As Eddie and his thugs drop their guns, the
weapons fire, wounding all the hoods.
THE APES OF RATH Friday, 7:30 P.M. November 28, 1969
One after another CONTROL agent receives bananas in the mail, then is
brutally murdered. Evidence points to an ape as the culprit, but
actually it's CONTROL agent Armstrong, an ape transformed to human
appearance by the evil Dr. Rath. Max's banana comes up next. Meanwhile,
Armstrong cuts his finger and 99 bandages it. Shades of "Son of Kong"
and "King Kong" - now Armstrong wouldn't hurt her for the world, but
gleefully carries her to the roof of Max's building. In the end, it's
beauty kills the beast: Armstrong slips on a Beauty-brand banana peel and
falls off the ledge.
AGE BEFORE DUTY Friday, 7:30 P.M. December 5, 1969
For $100,000 CONTROL defector Felix agrees to unleash his invention,
Dorian Gray paint, against every agent of CONTROL. His procedure is to
dab voodoo paint on their photos, which instantly ages them. When Felix
turns Max, 99, and the Chief into doddering old fools, they fight fire
with fire, aging him with his own paint. Then they discover the antidote
in common cleaning fluid.
IS THIS TRIP NECESSARY? Friday, 7:30 P.M. December 12, 1969
Smart, 99, the Chief, Larabee, Congress and the President all had bad
dreams the night before, each induced by KAOS's mad pharmacist, Jarvis
Pym. Pym is demanding $50 million blackmail via TV plea. Max and 99
track him down to the Dartfoot Spring Water Company, where Pym has been
expecting them. Overpowering them with the old mortar (military) in the
mortar (pharmaceutical) trick, he imprisons them in a giant capsule, but
they get the drop on him, putting an end to his hallucinogenic reign.
ICE STATION SIEGFRIED Friday, 7:30 P.M. December 19, 1969
The planet is freezing over, stranding Max in Miami under twelve feet of
snow. The Chief sends 99, and the CIA sends top agent Quigley, to the
North Pole, where Siegfried and Shtarker have quit KAOS to join the
Mounties. Siegfried and Shtarker lure the two into frozen wilderness,
then abandon them; but the stalwart 99 and Quigley stumble onto and
dynamite Stanislavsky's igloo-mounted giant electric fan, thereby
returning the world's climate to normal.
MOONLIGHTING BECOMES YOU Friday, 7:30 P.M. January 2, 1970
Max messes with Cairo's National Museum and microfilm imbedded in a stick
of gum, while in Washington, 99 asks the Chief to give her important
assignments. Though the Chief fears that living with Max has made 99
accident-prone, he sends her on an under-cover job with Hannibal Day's
radio show - a show that transmits coded messages for KAOS. Joining her
as the sound effects man, Max massacres the noises but nails the KAOS
agent.
HOUSE OF MAX (part 1) Friday, 7:30 P.M. January 8, 1970
Max and 99 join forces with Inspector Sparrow of Scotland Yard after
twelve people are brutally murdered, ostensibly by the original Jack the
Ripper. In fact, Jack is made of wax, and is the creation of ghoulish
Raul Duval of Duval's Cave of Wax. With a simple injection, Duval can
bring any wax figure to life. To protect his interests, Duval sends the
werewolf of London after Max and 99.
HOUSE OF MAX (part 2) Friday, 7:30 P.M. January 16, 1970
Hoping to expose Duval, Max substitutes for the figure of Adolf Hitler in
Duval's museum. Duval returns, catches on to Max, and brings all the
museum dummies to life to destroy him. Max escapes them - even dummies
of W.C. Fields and Laurel and Hardy - and when he has also escaped
Duval's cauldron of 400-degree boiling wax, the dummies hold a
celebration until they harden again.
REBECCA OF FUNNY-FOLK FARM Friday, 7:30 P.M. January 23, 1970
CONTROL arranges for a storm to hit the spooky mansion of Hester Van
Hooten so that Max and 99 have an excuse to retrieve an important parcel
from her roof. 99 bears a striking resemblence to Mrs. Van Hooten's dead
sister, Rebecca. Sebastian, Rebecca's crazed former lover, is murdered.
Here's a twist: the butler did it.
THE MESS OF ADRIAN LISTENGER Friday, 7:30 P.M. January 30, 1970
Six CONTROL agents are murdered - two-thirds of a baseball team on which
Max, the Chief, and Adrian Listenger played during their days at CONTROL
training school. Max and the Chief remember that when Listenger flunked
spy school, he vowed revenge. They track him down, but he's dead,
leaving Max and the Chief no choice but to suspect each other.
WITNESS FOR THE EXECUTION Friday, 7:30 P.M. February 6, 1970
KAOS brings in the Exterminator when a top-ranking agent defects to
testify for CONTROL. The Exterminator, disguised as a plumber, finds him
- disguised as a fat red-headed woman, baby-sitting for the Smarts. Max
stops the Exterminator by accidentally shooting plaster onto his head.
Unfortunately, the same plaster brains the defector, causing him to
forget what he knows about KAOS.
HOW GREEN WAS MY VALET Friday, 7:30 P.M. February 13, 1970
In order to recover stolen rocket fuel, Max and 99 get work as a maid and
valet at the Bulmanian Embassy in Washington, D.C. The Ambassador, a
KAOS man, keeps the fuel in his wine cellar, and the key to the cellar
around his neck. Max gets the key by intoxicating the Ambassador,
locates the fuel, and actually succeeds in keeping it out of KAOS
clutches.
AND ONLY TWO NINETY-NINE Friday, 7:30 P.M. February 20, 1970
Max returns home to an imposter 99, who fusses over him with enough food
to feed an army; while 99, kidnapped by the forces of Melnick Archer,
communicates with the Chief by means of a fingernail phone. She learns
that the imposter is poisoning Max with his meals, while framing the real
Mrs. Smart for murder. 99 escapes, confronts the faker, exposes her as
the one with maekup covering a shiner, and decks her.
SMARTACUS Friday, 7:30 P.M. February 27, 1970
Eccentric KAOS agent Montague Leach, who runs a chain of "Roman Baths"
spas, sweats secrets out of big shots with his truth steam. The Chief
checks into a spa as Senator Van Horne, escorted by Maxwell Smart. Under
the influence of truth steam, they exchange pent-up hostilities, then
proceed to elude certain death with the aid of a laundry cart, a melted
locker key, gladitorial gear, and statuary.
WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT, ALGIE? Friday, 7:30 P.M. April 24, 1970
Algernon DeGrasse, proprieter of Algie's Nursery, numbers Washington's
most prominent citizens among his clients. When one CONTROL agent
disappears, Max replaces him, disguised as a Japanese gardner. DeGrasse
suspects, but 99 warns Max, who won't have to be dinner for a man-eating
plant after all.
HELLO COLUMBUS, GOODBYE AMERICA Friday, 7:30 P.M. May 1, 1970
Max and 99 foil a daytime robbery in an art museum, only to discover that
the robbers work for Gino Columbus, the direct descendant of Christopher
and current owner of the country. Smart, assigned to keep Gino as happy
as possible, blunders into and foils a KAOS kidnapping. Once Gino is
safe, Smart poses as Gino, is again kidnapped by KAOS, and stalls for
time while the real Gino signs the country over to the President.
DO I HEAR A VAULTS? Friday, 7:30 P.M. May 8, 1970
The Chief has hidden the vitally important "Who's Who in CONTROL" in the
public library. He reclaims it; KAOS will stop at nothing to get it.
After Max and Larabee transfer the book to a bank vault, Max manages to
lock the Chief and Larabee *in* the bank vault. He has Freddie the
Forger released from prison to spring them - since Baffles the
safecracker has just been given the juice.
I AM CURIOUSLY YELLOW Friday, 7:30 P.M. May 15, 1970
Smart has been compromised by the Whip's gang - the Whip being an
inscrutable Oriental agent, and the gong inducing a powerful posthypnotic
suggestion. No sooner is Max assigned to protect the only working model
of NARCO 5-12 than the Whip instructs him to steal it. Surveillance
equipment catches Max in the act. Then Max, taking an anti-hypnotism
pill, returns to the Whip to capture him. The Chief, 99 and Larabee
arrive. Larabee strikes the gong, putting the Chief in his power.
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