Every second millions of innocent sperm are being slaughtered throughout the world. We at the Totseans Humanity Project short for THP are working with WHO in developing a strategy that will save those damned sperm from the clutches of cruel hands. According to our sophisticated model that was developed with the help from Brazzers, every second someone in the world is wanking off to porn which results in millions of unused sperm dying in the open or being disposed of in the drain or on computer keyboards.
At THP we believe that killing your sperm in this fashion is genocide and should be stopped, each sperm has a right to go through the natural process of evolution which starts at the vagina and ends up in the fetus. Even unwanted sperm have a right. THP is the only known organization that is fighting for the unwanted sperm. We’re committed to providing a save heaven for the victims. With our carefully developed policies, we’re able to save some of the sperm and rehabilitate them until they’re ready for the world again.
Saving a sperm does not mean that we’re proposing that people should have more children, we at THP are strong supporters of THE PILL, but we do want the sperm to have a fighting chance at life or at least they should die with honor.
We have trained our social workers which include Jordan Kingsley, Morgan Ray and the supervisor @dandylonglegs (also known as Dfg’s harem wife). Together they have been working hard on finding ways to safeguard the innocent sperms. Some of the techniques they developed target the root of the problem, porn.
In our test studies if you keep the porn semi-hardcore the audience would have a hard time going through the act and it will make it harder for them to release, although this creates more problems for the wankers but in the end it saves a few sperms from the horrific end.
Another technique is to have containers handy in which the sperm can be deposited and then stored in the cold storage for later use or abuse. The THP support group that helps in generating new ideas proposed that swallowing the semen might be a better alternative; however it still breaks the natural cycle.
Our experts argued on this point and came to the conclusion that BJ and anal are fine alternatives considering the fact that most semen end up on the floor, so it might be a welcome relief for them to end up near the intended target.
Professor TDR has been successfully conducting STS tests on various cats and so far he has been able to save 66% of the semen without any problems, according to him the procedure still needs a lot of work. “Cats aren’t that easy to train but with the user of sophisticated tools and willpower anything can be done.” Prof. TDR will be publishing his report in the Totseans Science Journal which will be published next month.
The fight to save the Semen has just started; everyone should lend a hand or a mouth to safeguard our future, in a world where Celebrity puppies gets more attention than a kid dying of malaria, I think we can spare some resources on saving the semen.
Remember it’s not that hard to make the right choice, you can control the urge and if you try really hard, you can find someone to handle the urge for you.
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What about the sperm slavery in sperm banks? Fathers of that sperm sell their future offspring for a handful of silver (You know who you are judist) while the sperm are imprisoned in glass vials until requirement. They are forced to live in freezing temperatures without any form of warmth or comfort, and when they finally do get a taste of freedom. They are imprisoned again in a gawddamn ovary which would be hot as hell.This message was bought to you by. S.P.E.R.M (Some People Enjoy Rape Moments)
But that’s totally a different scenario, the sperm in the end accomplish their task, at least they have some hope.
Sure! That sperm my eventually acquire 2 legs, 2 arms and shit. Unfortunately only to be bought into a world of misery. Face it! It will be raised by two parents of which the father can’t deliver. They will be constantly bickering because of the fathers insecurity knowing that the child isn’t really his. The mother will take to the bottle because of her feeling of failure in this rocky relationship. Who’s the one to cop the blow from it? That’s right!!! The poor old sperm.
How is this hope? 🙁
Still better than ending up on dry tissues. Think about it, it might enter into a world full of misery but that one sperm could become our only hope in the future. We must not waste it!
Waste??? Hell NO!! I eat everything…..