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Anger isn’t a phase

There’s a subconscious drive to excuse behaviors that don’t mesh with the real world, or pin it on something that’s unwanted but temporary, and it happens here a lot. The “anger phase” as they call it.

Some people are annoyed that there are angry people here, while others believe themselves to be “above” the anger, having come to terms with the nature of reality in a sort-of zen way. Either way, anger is unsightly and easily fingered as evidence of the evil lurking in the shadows of reddit.

Anger isn’t a phase.

I want everybody to repeat that to themselves.

Anger isn’t a phase. It’s a natural reaction to injustice. It’s a natural reaction when somebody crosses you. It’s a natural reaction when you find out the world isn’t how you were told, and you were lied to.

We accept anger, as this is one of the few places that accepts anger (and the entire spectrum of male emotions) as legitimate. It’s not just a phase, it’s a reaction.

If you’ve found a way to make peace with the world around you, then great. Congratulations to you for having done it. But be wary, there’s a difference between accepting reality for what it is, and being completely passive.

For instance, would you get mad at a woman for cheating on you? Some who would argue that they’ve reached some ultimate zen would say that cheating is just the natural way of women. Why get mad at a woman for doing what women do?

Fucking right I’d be pissed. Anger is a catalyst for change. Accepting circumstances as they are is not righteous, it’s just passive. And that passivity can be a detriment if not kept on a short leash.

I’m not knocking the older guys here who have more or less lost the visceral reactions to hearing about reality. I don’t find myself all that riled up by these things as well. Perhaps it’s desensitization, or perhaps it’s that my expectations more closely match reality.

But do not dismiss or disparage anger as though it’s some early-bloomer stage that would be taken care of by a dose of maturity. If a man loses a loved one, shouldn’t he grieve? And likewise, if he is betrayed, should he not seek to defend his honor?

We don’t only allow anger, we embrace it.

I would take heart in the fact that personal injustice against you still stirs some level of emotion, it is the mark of a man who has not lost his own will. For those who purport to feel nothing, there is no more growth to be had.

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