Totseans

Author: Dfg

  • An Introduction To The Metasploit Framework

    What is the Metasploit Framework?
    The Metasploit Framework is an incredible tool for pen-testers and hackers. Used globally by even the most professional of penetration testers, Metasploit presents the user with a large number of exploits, payloads and auxiliary modules which can all be used to test anything from the common household machine to complex servers in an office block. Whatever your reason is for using the Metasploit framework, you should rest assured that it will be one of the best tools in your arsenal.Starting up Metasploit
    Now, without further ado, let’s get down to business. I usually start by firing up Metasploit in a terminal, using the msfconsole version. Metasploit has a few different versions, including a more graphically based one. They all have their purposes, but I much prefer msfconsole just because it’s all command line based, and it’s very powerful. To start msfconsole, open up your terminal and type;

    Code:
    msfconsole

    Hit enter, and let it do it’s thing. If you’ve just updated or it’s your first time running the tool then it might take a little while to get started.

    Updating the Metasploit Framework
    Before we get started, you’ll probably need to update a few things. Run the command “msfupdate”. Inside each update, you will find new exploits, various patches, improvements, new payloads – basically everything you can think of. It’s a very well maintained piece of kit! I usually update the whole system before doing anything major anyway, just in case there’s been a significant update in one of my packages. Once you start updating, it will look something like this…

    Building Information on the Target using Nmap
    Before we run in all-guns-blazing and cause a big mess, we need to build up some information on our target. The basic things which we will need to determine are as follows;

    Target’s IP address (this will be internal for the sake of this guide)
    Which ports are open
    Which service is running on each port
    The operating system of the target machine

    As you go deeper into the world of pen-testing, you may find that you need more information on the subject. In fact, I recommend that you find out as much as you possibly can before starting a pen-test, using various information gathering techniques. I won’t go into detail here but I might write something on it in another article.

    Open up a new terminal. We’re going to be using Nmap to identify the IP address of the target machine on the network by running a ping-scan. This doesn’t test any ports, it just pings machines to see if they exist or not.

    Code:
    nmap -sP 192.168.0.1/24

    Running this command should return the IP addresses of machines on your network. Obviously you may need to switch your IP address up a little bit if it’s different to mine.

    So, I’ve picked the machine I want to attack. In my case, it’s the Intel machine using the internal IP address of 192.168.0.6. Now, let’s get some more in depth information about this particular machine by running a port scan on it. I’m not going to bother with any real stealth on this scan seeing as it’s on my own network and I’m not trying to avoid detection. Therefore, I’ll only be using the -sS, -vv and -A flags for scanning. For a full list of nmap flags, check out the Nmap website. Run the command;

    Code:
    nmap -sS -A -vv 192.168.0.6

    This kicks out a shit load of information onto my screen (thanks to the -vv flag, which makes the scan output “very verbose”). The main thing I’m looking at are the open ports on the machine.

    PORT STATE SERVICE VERSION
    135/tcp open msrpc Microsoft Windows RPC
    139/tcp open netbios-ssn
    445/tcp open microsoft-ds Microsoft Windows XP microsoft-ds
    2869/tcp open http Microsoft HTTPAPI httpd 1.0 (SSDP/UPnP)

    The bolded one is the one which I am going to try and exploit using the Metasploit framework. Unfortunately, I’m not going to do all the hard work for you. You need to get your Google hat on and start searching around for exploits for the services which came up in your nmap scan! Once you’ve found one, you might find that it’s already a part of the Metasploit Framework and you can search for it using the “search” function.

    How to use Metasploit to Exploit a Computer
    Please note that I’m using old screenshots in this section as my laptop died. Everything is exactly the same, including the port/service and IP address used! Just don’t mind the old-school Backtrack design.

    So, we’ve got our IP address, our open ports, the services running on each port, and we’ve determined which service we’re going to exploit. Now we can get down to the fun part – exploiting and gaining access to the machine! Switch back to your msfconsole window and you should find that everything is loaded and ready to go. We’re going to do things in the following order;

    1. Search for and use an exploit
    2. Set the payload
    3. Set options
    4. Run the exploit

    1. To search for an exploit, type the word “search” followed by the keyword you wish to search for. For example, I’m looking for the ms08_067_netapi exploit, so I type the following into the search;

    Code:
    search ms08_067

    If you want to instead display every single exploit available in the Metasploit Framework, type “show exploits” into the console. Once you have found your exploit, you will need to “use” it so that Metasploit knows that it’s the one you want. To do this, type the following, replacing my exploit with your chosen one;

    Code:
    use exploit/windows/smb/ms08_067_netapi

    2. Next, you are going to need to set the payload which you will be using. A payload is something which runs after the exploit has been run, and can do many different things. For example, you may want to get a shell on the victim, in which case you’d choose one of the shell payloads. However, in this example I will be using a Meterpreter payload. Meterpreter is a very fun tool and I think you’ll enjoy it the most out of them all.

    To show all the payloads available, simply type in the following;

    Code:
    show payloads

    Or you can search for a specific one like I did, by typing;

    Code:
    search payloads meterpreter

    To set your payload, type the following into the console, replacing my payload with one of your choice;

    Code:
    set PAYLOAD windows/meterpreter/bind_tcp

    3. Once your payload is set, we need to quickly set a few options up. Type the following into your console to get the options up;

    Code:
    show options

    In my case, all I need to do is set the RHOST which is the IP address of the target machine. It’s already chosen the correct port for me.

    4.Finally, we’re ready to run the exploit! It’s as simple as typing…

    Code:
    exploit

    Now, you’ll see the exploit getting to work!

    I’ve popped open a Meterpreter session, as you can see in the screenshot. This allows me to do a shit load of stuff, which you can read about in the Metasploit Unleashed guide. For the purpose of the guide, I popped open a shell on the other computer after migrating to a different process. This shows the power of the Metasploit Framework and Meterpreter!

    So, what next?
    This guide was designed to push you in the right direction, as I really wanted something like this to read when I was first learning about MSF. Next, you should read about maintaining access to the computer with a backdoor, and other things. I totally recommend reading up on a few things though, so check out these links for more information.

    Metasploit Unleashed
    Nmap Reference Guide

    Discuss http://www.totse.info/bbs/showthread.php/17651-An-Introduction-To-The-Metasploit-Framework

  • Chocolate Mousse, No Cheats

    Chocolate mousse is fucking awesome, and even if dinner for your friends is roasted chicken and two veg, you can class up the whole affair by finishing with this. It is also a very romantic dish, especially when you rub it all over your… ahem.. nevermind. As usual, read the whole thing first, and set your game plan in order.

    You will need

    Equipment

    • 3 stainless steel bowls, standard type, about 12inches diameter, with a depth of 5 inches, or whatever you have.
    • A pot about 1/2 the diameter of one of the bowls
    • A hand mixer, or a whisk (one of those french things that looks like a fucked up antenna) and a lot of patience.
    • 4 martini glasses or similar elegant presentation vessels.

    Ingredients

    • 4oz (110g) decent chocolate, semi sweet, or bitter sweet. The only things on the ingredient list should be cocoa solids, cocoa butter, sugar, and maybe some lecethin and preservatives.
    • 2 tbsp unsalted butter, fuck you if you use margarine and the whole thing goes haywire.
    • 2 eggs
    • 1/8 tsp cream of tartar, found in the baking section of the grocery store.
    • 2 tbsp sugar, and 1 tbsp sugar (department of redundancy department strikes again)
    • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1/2 cup heavy(whipping) cream.

    Pre Show
    If the chocolate is in big chunks, put it in a plastic bag and bash the fuck out of it. If it is already in chips, they had better not be some no name brand shit.
    Make a double boiler(cook lingo for indirect heat) by putting about 2 inches of water into the pot and bringing it to a boil, then turning it down again so it is hot but not boiling, if it is boiling you will get hard bits in your chocolate as you melt it.
    Separate the eggs, do this by cracking the egg into your hand with the yolk intact, and allowing the clear part to run through your fingers into one of the bowls, save the yolks for throwing at traffic.

    The show

    This is a pretty tight operation, so make sure you have about 20 minutes to devote to it. Have all the ingredients and the hand mixer ready, as well as a rubber spatula

    Melt the chocolate and butter together in a bowl set on top of the hot water, be patient, and don’t be tempted to turn the heat up. Stir constantly until the chocolate and butter are liquid and mixed well. Take the mixture off the heat and proceed.

    Whip the egg whites, cream of tartar, and the 2 tbsp sugar in the second bowl until they form soft peaks. If you are using a hand mixer this is about 2.5 minutes, if you are using a whisk(god help you) about 7, with good effort. Soft peaks mean, the mixture is white, and when you pull the beater out, the resulting “peak” slumps a little.

    Whip the cream, the other tsp of sugar, and the vanilla in the third bowl to the soft peak stage as well, if you are using a whisk, put the egg bowl in the fridge so as it does not degrade.

    Now comes the tricky bit, add a small amount of the melted chocolate and butter and stir it in GENTLY, you went to a lot of trouble for those bubbles, don’t break them. Once a small amount of the chocolate has been introduced to the eggs, raising their temperature slightly, the eggs are ‘tempered’. Now pour that into the bowl with the melted chocolate and butter(scrape out the bowl). Fold the two together. Folding, means you are taking the rubber spatula, moving it down the side of the bowl to the bottom, and then back up through the middle, each time you do this, rotate the bowl 1/8 turn in the political direction of your choice, conservatives to the right, liberals to the left. (communists do not eat chocolate as it offends their principals, but they are excellent bakers)

    When the mixture is mostly brown(like my neighborhood), fold in the whipped cream, and continue folding and thinking about politics until the mix is uniform in color, and not a second more. The object is to retain as many of the bubbles in the whipping cream and beaten eggs as possible, be gentle and patient, much as DFG would be with a small child he intends to molest later.

    Pour the mix into the martini glasses and set it in the fridge to set for at least an hour. Chocolate fucking nirvana. Garnish with a splash of your favorite liquor, and some whipped cream.

    C/O
    “must write guide, bzzzzzz, publish or perish, bzzzzzz”

    Discuss http://www.totse.info/bbs/showthread.php/13911-Chocolate-mousse-no-cheats.

  • How Long is a Drug Detectable in My System?

    How Long is a Drug Detectable in My System?

    The following is for informational purposes only. I neither endorse nor encourage illegal activities, and this thread is not intended to help anyone negate their way around a drugs test. The word “detectable” is not used to imply that the purpose of this guide is to pass a drugs test; I believe that anyone who is considering taking a drug should know how long it will stick around in their system. However, figures for the complete absence of a drug are difficult to quantify, and so SAMHSA guidelines on a positive result are used instead.

    Figures are approximate; as factors such as the metabolism, body mass, age, overall health, drug tolerance, urine pH, level of exercise and fluid intake of the person being tested, the amount and frequency used, the method of administration etc. will all have a bearing.

    Format:

    Substance: duration detecable(urine); duration detectable (hair)

    Amphetamines: 1-4 days; 90 days(*)
    Anabolic Steroids: 2-3 weeks (oral) 1-3 months (injected) 8 months+ (Naldrolene);
    Barbiturates: 1-21 days;
    —> short acting (allobarbital, alphenal, amobarbital, aprobarbital, butabarbital, butalbital, butethal, pentobarbital secobarbital) 1-4 days;
    —> long-acting (i.g. barbital, phenobarbital) 2-3 weeks;
    Benzodiazepines: 1- 42 days;
    Buprenorphine (suboxone): 1-3 days; 90 days
    Cocaine: 4-5 days; 90 days
    Codeine: 2-4 days; 90 days
    GHB: 12-24 hrs; undetectable ?
    Heroin: 2-4 days; 90 days
    Ketamine: 2-4 days; ?
    —> norketamine: 14 days; ?
    LSD: 12-14 hrs; undetectable
    Marijuana: 2-3 (single use) / up to 30 days (chronic use); 60-90 days
    MDMA: 3-5 days; 90 days
    Meperidine: 4-24 hrs; 90 days
    Mephedrone: 1-7 days; ?
    Mescalin: 1-4 days; ?
    Methadone: 3 days; 97 days
    Methamphetamine: 3-5 days; 90 days
    Methaqualone: 14 days; 90 days
    Morphine: 2-4 days; 90 days
    Opium: 1-2 days; 90 days
    Oxycodone: 2-4 days;
    PCP: 3-7 days; 90 days
    Propoxyphene: 6 hrs-2 days; ?
    Psilocybin: 1-3 days; ?
    Salvia: <12hrs (**)

    (*) 90 days accounts for 1.5 inches of most recent growth, the standard sample tested
    (**)Probably. Based on a study of the half life of Salvinorin A in rhesus monkeys.

    Sources:

    www.craigmedical.com
    www.erowid.org
    http://www.sdrl.com/drug-detection.html
    de la Torre, R. et al. [2000] Pharmacology of MDMA in humans; N Y Acad Sci, 2000; 914:225-37
    Zhao, H et al. [2001] Profiles of urine samples taken from Ecstasy users at Rave parties: analysis by immunoassays, HPLC, and GC-MS; J Anal Toxicol 2001 May-Jun;25(4):258-69
    Jansen, Karl [2001] Ketamine: Dreams and Realities; Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS)
    Schmidt, M.D. et al. [2005] Pharmacokinetics of the plant-derived kappa-opioid hallucinogen salvinorin A in nonhuman primates; Synapse. 2005 Dec 1;58(3):208-10

    Discuss http://www.totse.info/bbs/showthread.php/17700-How-long-is-x-detectable-in-my-system

  • How to Perform a Man In The Middle Attack Using Arpspoof and SSLstrip

    SSLstrip, is a tool which you can use when you’re performing MITM (Man In The Middle) attacks. It’s very fun to use and can often produce some very interesting results, especially when combined with other tools such as Driftnet, MSGsnarf or URLsnarf! These particular tools can uncover things such as URL’s which the victim is clicking on, images from the website which the victim is currently surfing (which you can actually save onto your own PC) and even real-time chats on Instant Messaging software like IRC. SSLstrip allows you to capture login information such as usernames and passwords.

    For this guide, you will need a computer with arpspoof and SSLstrip installed, as well as nmap for finding your target’s IP address. I recommend downloading Backtrack as it comes with all these tools out of the box.

    How to Enable IP Forwarding

    Enabling IP forwarding allows packets to pass through your machine. You need this to happen so that you can get in the middle of the victim’s machine and the router, hence the name “Man in the Middle”. To enable IP forwarding, type this into a terminal;

    echo 1 > /proc/sys/net/ipv4/ip_forward

    How to Configure your IPtables for ARP Spoofing

    Get your terminal up on the screen and type in the following;

    iptables -t nat -A PREROUTING -p tcp --destination-port 80 -j REDIRECT --to-port 8080

    As you can probably tell, this will to forward outgoing traffic on port 80 from the victim’s machine to your machine, which is going to be running SSLstrip on port 8080.

    Finding Your Target’s IP address

    Open a terminal and do a ping scan of the network, by issuing a command such as;

    nmap -sP 192.168.0.1-255

    Find the machine which you want to do a MITM attack on and copy down it’s IP address somewhere. That’s all we need to do for this step, so move on!

    How to use Arpspoof

    Arpspoof Screenshot Backtrack Linux

    Arpspoofing allows you to redirect packets from the victim’s computer, straight to your machine. You then pass the packets along to the router as normal, meaning that the victim won’t even know it’s happening. After you capture traffic, SSLstrip will modify it before IPtables sends it away again. Fire up a new terminal and type in the following;

    arpspoof -i wlan0 -t 192.168.0.5 192.168.0.1

    The -i flag determines the interface used, and the -t flag is your target IP address. The second IP address is that of the router. Once you hit enter, you should start to see incoming traffic traffic from the victim, which is then forwarded to the router.

    How to use SSLstrip to Capture Login Credentials

    Open another terminal. Navigate to /pentest/web/sslstrip and run SSLstrip by typing the following command;

    python ./sslstrip.py -k -l 8080 -w /root/Desktop/sslstrip.log

    This will start SSLstrip, listening on port 8080. The -w flag allows you to write your results to a file. The -k flag also kills all current sessions, forcing the client to log into websites again. Feel free to remove this flag if that’s not something you want to do.

    If you open another terminal window/tab and type “tail -F /root/Desktop/sslstrip.log” then you will get real-time updates as the log file is written to. When a user logs into a website, their login credentials will be displayed in the file, like this!

    Re-ARPing

    Hit CTRL+C to kill your ARP spoofing, your SSLstrip and anything else you’ve got going on. This has a very high chance of putting the whole network offline for a second, which is the only downside to ARP spoofing. However, it shouldn’t be a problem as everything will right itself quickly!

    Enjoy.

  • How to Sneak Drugs into a Club

    How to sneak drugs into clubs.

    Contents.

    • Intro/Disclaimer.
    • Types of Security/Crowds.
    • Shoes.
    • Underwear.
    • Socks.
    • Secret pockets.
    • And if you’re really desperate…
    • Legal implications/The Law.

    Intro/Disclaimer.
    Clubs and the like are places usually full of shit music, Alpha-Male pricks and a possible cheap shag. However, is it really worth risking your sanity and integrity for that? Well some desperate cunt may say “yes!” but for the sane among us, we need to lives it up…I am of course talking about drugs. not alcohol or tobacco as they kill more people than all illegal narcotics combines [According to a study somewhere]. I am talking about the illegal kind. The kind that actually benefit you in some form or another, even if you have to inject your dick.
    The disclaimer is simple. You run the risk of getting caught. Don’t take this as a great guide as I have obtained the information after attending events with friends, so it’s a compilation of rolling loved-up half wits mixed with an incessant tunes in my ear. I take no responsibility or blame if you get caught. Why the fuck should I? You chose to follow a guide from the Internet written by the aforementioned types.

    Types of Security/Crowds.
    All clubs have their own kind of audience/attendees. This usually depends on the part of Town or the type of equally shit music they blast out to a heavily intoxicated crowd. Indie clubs included.If you are to go to a club that plays heavily autotuned shit with some Dubstep thrown in for shit measure, then expect mostly “speedy” drugs, whereas an Indie club may have a minority of Psychedelic users and mostly Stoners. This of course, is not always true, I know. The security tends to be higher at clubs as opposed to Indie night events. This is due, mostly to the amount of money the venue has and the type of crowd is brings in. Sniffer dogs render this guide almost useless unless you potentially want your balls ripped off. I wouldn’t risk that for any drug, brah…even though I hate Kids.
    So, no matter the size of the security Guards, they usually don’t run – especially the lard-ass ones. Watch out for door CCTV, too if you are ever caught. If you decide to run, they have a nice picture of you for a good few seconds.

    Shoes.
    Amount you can potentially hold: Depending on the thickness of the tongue of the shoe, or the depth of the sole, you can hide a small to moderate amount there.
    There are 2 methods you can use here:

    • The tongue cutout.
    • The sole-shovel.

    The tongue cutout.
    This one is pretty good, as Security tend to pat you down nowadays. The thickness of the tongue plays a crucial role here as it allows you to store more/less in there.
    You will need a knife (penknife is fine), a pair of shoes you aren’t going to worry about fucking up a bit, drugs in a baggie, a bit of sticky tape/duct tape.

    • Step 1: Take your shoe and knife, cutting a small incision into the top of your shoe tongue. You don’t wait it right at the top, so start about 1/4 down so as to not alert anyone who potentially takes a closer/longer glance at your shoes.
    • Step 2: Take your drugs in the baggie and roll it up as tight as you can get it. If it’s weed, then compress it and maybe put into another baggie to retain the smell that bit longer. Flatten the bud down or even better, make hash if you have the time/resources available. If you are taking in pills, then stack them and roll the baggie around, maybe keep in place with a 1cm bit of sticky tape. Remember – as tight as possible to reduce the area it takes up!
    • Step 3: If you have a thick shoe tongue, then feel free to hollow it out a bit by pulling some of the padding out. This means that when you put the narcota into the tongue, it won’t bulge out more than the other shoe’s tongue. Alternatively, if you have a thin shoe tongue, you can either stuff both tongues with padding to equal them out, or more likely and less retardedly (as you will draw more attention to yourself during a pat-down), just put them lower down the tongue of the shoe, almost to where it touches your ankle. I’d opt for option 2, personally.
    • Step 4: Place the rolled up, tight baggie into the hole in your shoe’s tongue. Remember to make them feel equal as you may get a quick pat-down at the door, and for comfort, too. Nothing worse than having a delicate pill or whatever slip down lower into your sweaty shoe. Once you have the baggie at a comfy distance into your shoe’s tongue (lower the better generally), then put the shoes on, walk around a bit and secure in place with a slither of duct tape (better hold than regular sellotape, especially in humid conditions).
    • Step 5: Bypass security like the badass rebel you are.
    • Step 6: If I have to tell you this, you are retarded.

    The sole-shovel.
    This one takes a bit more work and could potentially ruin your shoes forever as it weakens the sole (lol).
    You will need a Stanley knife, narcotics (with a baggie), and a pen (thin Sharpies or fineliner is good).

    • Step 1: Remove the sole of your shoe by pulling it out.
    • Step 2: Wrap your narcotics as tightly as possible. As said before, flatten bud or use Hash, stack pills and secure with a bit of tape to retain the tightness. If only girls were like that…
    • Step 3: Measure the size of your finally-rolled baggie on your shoe sole, and draw around it a bit to keep the size there so you know where to cut.
    • Step 4: Draw a square or circle around your baggie outline that will tightly, but comfortably hold your stash.
    • Step 5: Take your Stanley knife. It’s great for this as its blade is durable as fuck.
    • Step 6: Start cutting and hacking away at your outline.It will take a while and there will be a lot of rubbery shit, but dig about 1-1.5cm down, or as far as you are willing to go without risking the integrity of your shoe. The sole will now be weak so don’t go treading on broken glass or nails, now!
    • Step 7: Place the tightly rolled baggie into the cavity and place the sole back over the top. Put the shoes on and walk around, testing to see if you can still feel a bulge or are paranoid you’ll crush your stash.
    • Step 8: If you can still feel a bulge in your shoe or are a bit uncomfortable or don’t think the cavity is deep enough, then try extending the cavity to spread the baggie out or dig deeper!
    • Step 9: Bypass security like the badass rebel you are.
    • Step 10: If I have to tell you this, you are retarded.

    Underwear.
    This works well for either sexes as we each have a pretty unique pair of undies, with bras and tight boxers – although girls are now wearing both.

    Bras.

    • You can place the tightly-rolled baggie, and depending on thickness, between your back and bra strap.
    • You could also hide it in the cup of your bra. Of course, this all depends on thickness and your tit size.

    Tight underwear.

    • Hide the tightly-rolled baggie in the crotch. Guys can hide it between a now-sweaty cock and nutsack or their gooch.
    • You can also hide it between your arse-cheeks. Just bear in mind that your narcotics will probably smell/taste of sweaty, hairy man-arse by the time ingestion rolls around.
    • You could also hide a thin amount of narcotics in the waistband of your undies/boxers as you can disguise the slight bulge with a belt. Just “hold them in place” by putting teh belt on top of them, and tight.

    Socks.
    Section 5.9 of the Police And Criminal Evidence Act states that:

    Quote Originally Posted by Section 5.9 PACE 1984
    The thoroughness and extent of any search or examination carried out in accordance
    with the powers in section 54A must be no more than the officer considers necessary
    to achieve the required purpose. Any search or examination which involves the
    removal of more than the person’s outer clothing shall be conducted in accordance
    with Code C, Annex A, paragraph 11.

    Basically, the Police and/or Security cannot remove any “inner” clothing such as t-shirts, underwear and trousers. Basically anything that would cause “embarrassment” to the person (read: you and socks) being searched..in front of hordes of oggling sluts outside a club.
    If you are ever arrested, request a copy of PACE as it wastes Police time and they have to give it to you by Law and cannot do anything, usually, until after you have read and understood it.

    • Step 1: So, get your sock and baggie of tightly-rolled narcotics.
    • Step 2: Place the baggie into your sock, the lower down the better.
    • step 3: Walk about with shoes on for a bit. Keep it comfy and remember a pat-down may happen, so the lower down the better as the bulge won’t be so prominent.

    Remember the Police and/or Security (most likely Police as they have the legal authority to do so) they can take you int he back of a Police Van (for arrest convenience, I guess) or to one side to demand you remove an item of “inner” clothing if they suspect something is up. It’s not too often they go to such lengths, though. A great example are “official” (read: Policed and Advertised) raves where the Police only target dealers or people with weapons. personal amounts are let in as they prefer Stoners to Drunks (they said to me off the record).

    Security pockets.

    I purchased a pair of “Blue Castle” Combat trousers from an Army Surplus store and after a week or so, I found a small pocket (about 3cm x 6cm) just on the inside of the belt buckle level. Came in handy.

    You can make your own quite simply by sewing a crude but small pocket and sewing it on the inside of the upper-portion of your trousers. The combination of belt and stomach-bulge will nicely disguise any shapes that stand out…such as a baggie of narcotics.

    And if you’re really desperate…

    • You can put them in a condom, tie a knot (or not) and put it up your butt. +10 defense against sniffer dogs.
    • Or your girlfriend’s/mates vag.
    • Swallow them the day before in a balloon and shit them out in the club. You will need great metabolism knowledge of your own body…plus the toilets are rank in most clubs. +20 for stupidity!
    • Bomb them all outside and OD after 30 minutes standing at a bar waiting to be served. +100 for effect!

    aaand the Legal implications.

    I HIGHLY recommend this site!
    UK law states the following for possession of drugs:

    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/info/penalties.htm
    We spoke to a detective sergeant on a local district drugs unit in the north of England, who gave us a rough guide as to the amounts that would be sufficient to suspect possession with intent:

    amphetamines – “a couple of grams”

    cannabis – “a couple of ounces”

    cocaine – “a small quantity – one gram”

    ecstasy – “more than two pills”

    heroin – “1/16th oz”

    LSD – “a couple of tabs”

    magic mushrooms – “don’t think we’d really bother”

    Well that’s reassuring, but what about the penalties for the most common drugs?

    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/info/penalties.htm
    Cannabis (1998 arrest stats)

    CLASS – B
    AMOUNT CONSIDERED ‘SUPPLY’ – 2 oz
    MAX PUNISHMENT (supply) – 14 years or a fine (or both)
    MAX PUNISHMENT (possession) – 5 years or a fine (or both)
    AVERAGE PUNISHMENT (in reality) – 10 months and £87 fine
    CAUTIONED – 48,480
    FOUND GUILTY – 40,119
    IMPRISONED – 2,832

    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/info/penalties.htm
    Cocaine (1998 arrest stats)
    CLASS – A
    AMOUNT CONSIDERED ‘SUPPLY’ – 1 gram
    MAX PUNISHMENT (supply) – life and an unlimited fine
    MAX PUNISHMENT (possession) – 7 years and an unlimited fine
    AVERAGE PUNISHMENT (in reality) – 3 years 3 months and £167
    fine
    CAUTIONED – 819
    FOUND GUILTY – 2,642
    IMPRISONED – 411
    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/info/penalties.htm
    Ecstasy (1998 arrest stats)
    CLASS – A
    AMOUNT CONSIDERED ‘SUPPLY’ – 3 pills
    MAX PUNISHMENT (supply) – life and an unlimited fine
    MAX PUNISHMENT (possession) – 7 years and an unlimited fine
    AVERAGE PUNISHMENT (in reality) – 2 years 2 months and £173 fine
    CAUTIONED – 911
    FOUND GUILTY – 1,461
    IMPRISONED – 238

    Of course, bear in mind the paperwork for a drugs bust. Can the cops be bothered to fill out all those pages over n 1/8 of weed when there are other, more fun people to fuck with out there?
    And regular, “official”, maximum sentences from the Misuse of Drugs Act (1971):

    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.drugscope.org.uk/resources/faqs/faqpages/what-are-the-uk-drug-laws.htm
    Class A 7 years + fine Life + fine
    Class B 5 years + fine 14 years + fine
    Class C 2 years + fine 14 years + fine

    Remember, you are taking a risk by bringing any illegal substance into a club. I wouldn’t give a fuck, personally if it weren’t for the Cops and Laws, but you have to abide them for an easy life.
    If you OD..
    Don’t expect much help at a club. Go with mates and have you look out for each other. If you feel shit then go outside where people are smoking and sit in a quiet corner. Drink some water or a soft drink and maybe call it quits if things get too intense. Clubs aren’t known to be sympathetic with their Fascist-style, SS Security.
    Don’t take the piss..
    If you’re caught, you’re caught. Don’t keep trying it, especially on a regular basis at your local club as you will more than likely get banned if you’re caught. If you plan on anything at your local, then get to know and bypass security. That way at least you’re on friendly terms with them.

    Further reading.
    “The Voice of Reason” – How to hide drugs.

    V 1.0
    4/4/2011

    Text file download, all nice and formatted.

     

    Discuss http://www.totse.info/bbs/showthread.php/13388-Sneak-drugs-into-a-Club.