Good life but why do I feel shit
It's been a while. Was pondering a thought and I really wanted advice on it but cant\dontwantto speak to anyone I know about it and then I thought of this place to pose my question, so lets see how it goes.
It might be the fact I work a rotating roster of day arvo night shift fortnightly that's messing with my head but every time I'm on nightshift this thought comes into my head.... "Where is my life going?" Logically thinking, I'm doing well for someone in their early 20s. I have a very good paying factory job, I've owned an investment property for the last two years where I'm paying a decent seized mortgage on, I own a tuff old school muscle car that I pretty much built myself learning along the way ( minus the motor that was built professionally) a comfortable daily driver car and recently a small boat that I also restored. Painted it myself, rebuilt the triple carbys myself and also stitched up the canopy with the guidance of a friend.
I re-read the above and although it comes off like I'm showboating (no pun intended) I genuinely believe that if any person put their mind to it they could achieve those things with a bit of hard work and perseverance they arnt impossible.Yeah sure my projects arnt perfect, car has rust in a few spots, daily car has a scuff mark here or there and the boat was painted with a brush! But they all serve there purposes well.
I should be proud of my achievements, however I still feel like time is passing me by. I go out with friends spend some cash drinking or dropping some mdma every now and then, not too shy, been with several women in my life so I don't understand this cloud that hangs over me sometimes. My last girlfriend was a year and a half ago and since her I've had 3-4 girls I've met up with had sex and what not in that time, with the most promising and amazingly intelligent girl turning out to be a party animal meth head, go fucking figure haha. I think im ready to settle down and although I see myself as a promising stable partner, looking back on previous relationships I've had pretty lousy judgement on women. If they were beautiful they were not on the same level of thinking as me, if they were stunning they were into the party scene and drugs too much. I've had my fair share of outbursts don't get me wrong, but there was always reasoning behind my actions.
I don't know what answer I'm after in this thread, maybe just a fresh perspective on the situation from someone that doesn't know me will be adequate.
It might be the fact I work a rotating roster of day arvo night shift fortnightly that's messing with my head but every time I'm on nightshift this thought comes into my head.... "Where is my life going?" Logically thinking, I'm doing well for someone in their early 20s. I have a very good paying factory job, I've owned an investment property for the last two years where I'm paying a decent seized mortgage on, I own a tuff old school muscle car that I pretty much built myself learning along the way ( minus the motor that was built professionally) a comfortable daily driver car and recently a small boat that I also restored. Painted it myself, rebuilt the triple carbys myself and also stitched up the canopy with the guidance of a friend.
I re-read the above and although it comes off like I'm showboating (no pun intended) I genuinely believe that if any person put their mind to it they could achieve those things with a bit of hard work and perseverance they arnt impossible.Yeah sure my projects arnt perfect, car has rust in a few spots, daily car has a scuff mark here or there and the boat was painted with a brush! But they all serve there purposes well.
I should be proud of my achievements, however I still feel like time is passing me by. I go out with friends spend some cash drinking or dropping some mdma every now and then, not too shy, been with several women in my life so I don't understand this cloud that hangs over me sometimes. My last girlfriend was a year and a half ago and since her I've had 3-4 girls I've met up with had sex and what not in that time, with the most promising and amazingly intelligent girl turning out to be a party animal meth head, go fucking figure haha. I think im ready to settle down and although I see myself as a promising stable partner, looking back on previous relationships I've had pretty lousy judgement on women. If they were beautiful they were not on the same level of thinking as me, if they were stunning they were into the party scene and drugs too much. I've had my fair share of outbursts don't get me wrong, but there was always reasoning behind my actions.
I don't know what answer I'm after in this thread, maybe just a fresh perspective on the situation from someone that doesn't know me will be adequate.
Comments
It seems you've got your shit together to be honest and maybe it is the fucked up hours that's fucking with your psyche. Do you like your job? Have you considered finding another? Did you know alcohol is actually a depressant? Have you considered the joys of marijuana as an alternative to fulfilling your needs over all other recreational mind distorting supplements. Do you like colours Jack? I like colours Jack! Especially green because Oscar the crouch is green and looks like a bud, but with eyes, a mouth and lives in a trash can. An angry bud with a cloud over his head just like you. I hope this helps.
Jobs wise, it's easy, challenging at times, people arnt too bad but at the end of the day if the company outsources my department overseas to the nips, that work for fuck all then I'm pretty much left to start from the bottom all over again elsewhere. An offer to start a trade qualification as a commercial electrician has come up with a family friend and I'm kind of thinking about that. Which will mean ill have to sell the property or survive on a very very tight budget for a couple of years but at least I've got a qualification under my belt and guaranteed work somewhere.
Yeah I've tried weed, doesn't agree with me. First time when I was in highschool with a pipe on my own, 4-5 cones back to back cos I wasn't feeling much and then bang, couldn't walk properly and tripped fucking balls. Last time I smoked a joint was a couple weeks back. Shared it amongst 5 mates, 4-5 drags around the circle and again tripped balls and ended up hallucinating that a bag exploded in my chest! Literally felt the vibrations of the explosion emanate through my whole body thousands of times in the space of a few minutes, then thought for some reason someone had buried a dog in the backyard that I had narrowly missed vomiting on. Everyone else was baked but calm, I was in a mental battle the whole night thinking someone had spiked my water with GHB. Haha so after those experiences I've kind of come to the conclusion that it just doesn't agree with me.
And yes Born, I very much indeed like colours, especially red green and blue in a small room where the dj is playing a track that sounds like the devil is about to eat your soul and the walls are bleeding sweat... Haha
I met some really HAWT! looking meth chicks, but then again! They weren't vein punching it yet. Normally when they reach that stage their completely fucked.
It's not about how they look and dress nor is it about how they act. It's what happens when they become so reliant on the shit, their ethics become all fucked up.
My suggestion here is! Keep tapping that ass, own that ass but don't become reliant on it. Know what I mean? .... Or maybe you got one of the good ones .... I dunnue!
Does that "if" have ominous overtones of rumored company cutbacks? I know what your saying about throwing in a well paid job for a trade qualification. I was a diesel mechanic by trade but discovered I'm allergic to diesel. Sucks right? So I chose a different career path and became qualified in the arts of web-design and web-writing but soon realised I wanted more in life. Now I'm a broke assed student again chasing my degree in business management.
Haha! When I first tried weed I just couldn't get wasted. For about 3yrs I could go to parties, share a doob, come out straight faced and still look socially :cool:.One day my brother came over with 2 oez & decided it was time I felt the full benefits of being blazed. We smoked about 3/4s of one bags contents and still nuttn. My brother was como'd & getting pissed off because I was wasting his pot. I got up and went to go outside and it fucking hit me like a pallet load of bricks, I was trippin ballz. It must of been a combination of fresh air and all the weed I smoked. Now it normally takes fuck all for me to get stoned. LoL! That shit happens bro!
Like all these posts you've probably subconsciously answered your own question in the last paragraphs. Perhaps you're looking for a deeper relationship to share your successes with?
Also you should really look into learning a trade, they can't outsource tradespeople.
Oh yeah I have a Research due and I have no fucking clue how to make stuff