Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)
by Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss.
The idea is that the motivations of men and women to have sex are not exactly the same.
"What spurred the project was a prior published study by the authors in which women had identified 237 different reasons why they had sex. The basis of this book thus draws on some 1000 women and several years of study to go beyond the running explanations of female sexuality: pleasure and reproduction. To achieve this, Meston and Buss created an anonymous Internet questionnaire. Participating women answered questions about their sexual penchants and proclivities."
Here are some examples that seem believable but are a bit foreign to men's (at least this man's) motivations. [In fairness I would guess that men have one huge motivation and about one more minor motivation.]
<<one woman's description of confidence-building sex- when a woman engages in sex for an ego boost, really-conveyed a behavior that might be otherwise difficult to describe >>
<<"I had sex with a couple of guys because I felt sorry for them. These guys were virgins and I felt bad that they had never had sex before. . .1 felt power over them, like they were weaklings under me and I was in control.">>
<<"I hate letting people down, or hurting people, when I think that I can avoid it...I ended up dating him just to make him feel better about himself, and because I felt like I had led him on, so I 'owed him.'">>
<<We have sex because we don't want to be the last chick in our social circles to "lose" our virginity and be thought of as frigid and unloving. We have sex to get rid of headaches, to placate nagging partners. >>
<<Some women, er, get it on to get close to god (really, no joke!). As one participant wrote: "It was a dream come true, being with this incredible man. I was able to lose myself and see God, where the edges of the dream-world and the real world met.">>
http://www.amazon.com/tag/science/forum/ref=cm_cd_dp_rft_tft_tp?_encoding=UTF8&cdForum=FxZ58KVEERYS5E&cdThread=Tx26MLL0185759O
I found this on Amazon and it's pretty interesting, but it's one-sided. I'd like to know what motivates both men and women to have sex.
Do you do it out of pity?
For an ego boost for yourself?
Do you do it to boost your social reputation?
Do you not do it for fear of tarnishing your reputation?
Do you do it but don't discuss it?
Do you discuss your sexual habits with others?
Do you have sex out of obligation?
When do you abstain from sex? Why?
Do you have sex as a reward to yourself?
Do you have sex to increase your total number of partners?
Do you only have sex for personal pleasure?
Do you use sex as a tool to create/maintain a relationship?
Do you offer sex to your partner as a reward (and thus use it as a means of control/manipulation)?
Discuss.
Comments
But yah feels good man
(Minus the bit in the middle where he is having some kind of self-esteem issues)
For an ego boost for yourself? Sure, sleeping with a good looking dude that other chicks clearly want is totally an ego boost, but it wouldn't be my sole reason for sleeping with someone, just an upside.
Do you do it to boost your social reputation? I don't see how sex could possibly boost someones reputation.
Do you not do it for fear of tarnishing your reputation? If I wanna sleep with someone I will, regardless of their reputation or how it will effect mine or whatever.
Do you do it but don't discuss it? I have no problem discussing sexual escapades.
Do you discuss your sexual habits with others? Depends on who it is, but for the most part I don't care.
Do you have sex out of obligation? I can't picture a situation where I would be obliged to fuck someone.
When do you abstain from sex? Why? When I'm on my rag (for obvious reasons).
Do you have sex as a reward to yourself? Never thought of sex as a reward
Do you have sex to increase your total number of partners? No.
Do you only have sex for personal pleasure? I'd say about 50% of times I've had sex I haven't been able to get off. Sex is still fun if you don't, I enjoy watching the other person get off almost as much.
Do you use sex as a tool to create/maintain a relationship? No, I'm not a manipulative bitch.
Do you offer sex to your partner as a reward (and thus use it as a means of control/manipulation)? No.
Hope that helps.
I haven't read through it yet (the actual study), but the top five reasons are:
Men -
"I was attracted to the person"
"It feels good"
"I wanted to experience the physical pleasure"
"It’s fun"
"I wanted to show my affection to the person"
Women -
"I was attracted to the person"
"I wanted to experience the physical pleasure"
"It feels good"
"I wanted to show my affection to the person"
"I wanted to express my love for the person"
The full list with statistics is in the paper. The paper also includes the questions and scoring system if you want to take it yourself.
Why humans have sex (MegaUpload) Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss
Abstract
Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-to reproduce, to experience pleasure, or to relieve sexual tension. Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Study 1 used a nomination procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex, ranging from the mundane (e.g., "I wanted to experience physical pleasure") to the spiritual (e.g., "I wanted to get closer to God"), from altruistic (e.g., "I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself") to vengeful (e.g., "I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me"). Study 2 asked participants (N = 1,549) to evaluate the degree to which each of the 237 reasons had led them to have sexual intercourse. Factor analyses yielded four large factors and 13 subfactors, producing a hierarchical taxonomy. The Physical reasons subfactors included Stress Reduction, Pleasure, Physical Desirability, and Experience Seeking. The Goal Attainment subfactors included Resources, Social Status, Revenge, and Utilitarian. The Emotional subfactors included Love and Commitment and Expression. The three Insecurity subfactors included Self-Esteem Boost, Duty/Pressure, and Mate Guarding. Significant gender differences supported several previously advanced theories. Individual differences in expressed reasons for having sex were coherently linked with personality traits and with individual differences in sexual strategies. Discussion focused on the complexity of sexual motivation and directions for future research.
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