Yeah the problem becomes more intense if you have a really big dick. I have to wear two underwear's just to keep it under control. It sticks out like a big baton. You're invited to have a go at it. (RemadE you see what I did there)
Seriously, my dick has been in hibernation. The last action it got was from the surgeon who lubed it up and put a goddamn catheter in it.
I'll always be up for swapping for a day. The veggie aisles would be my mode of attack, then the sex shops, just to see what the fuss is about g-spots and clits being "awesome" as I managed to make girls squirt who didn't know they could.
The problem with squirting is that it feels like you have to pee, so it's not uncommon for girls to stop right before that point. But yes, the clitoris is pretty awesome. But I think that the best thing about having a penis would probably be the ability to stick it into chicks.
Cupcakes Noooo!
Oh wait, that's the only real function of a wee wee. Although I would love to use my wee wee for just that purpose.
But you can hit people with a penis. Plus guys don't have to really have to worry about long fingernails, or tearing...
Someone at school once walked over to someone sitting at a computer, lowered their chair, spun it around and smacked the dude straight in the face with his cock. Funniest shit I've ever seen.
The problem with squirting is that it feels like you have to pee, so it's not uncommon for girls to stop right before that point. But yes, the clitoris is pretty awesome. But I think that the best thing about having a penis would probably be the ability to stick it into chicks.
While that is certainly it most useful and enjoyable function one should not underrate the ability to write one's name in the snow.
Barrack Obama was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks."
Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the urine is from Joe Biden
"Joe? How could you do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
well men can't covertly masturbate by crossing their legs. So the grass is always greener on the other side.
Real Men Can!
Step 1: Unwrap penis
Step 2: place one leg above the other & place penis between them.
Step 4: Now rock those legs like a bitch in heat (Dependent on penis length)
& Profit
Someone at school once walked over to someone sitting at a computer, lowered their chair, spun it around and smacked the dude straight in the face with his cock. Funniest shit I've ever seen.
The problem with squirting is that it feels like you have to pee, so it's not uncommon for girls to stop right before that point. But yes, the clitoris is pretty awesome. But I think that the best thing about having a penis would probably be the ability to stick it into chicks.
You can squirt? Dude, we should totally Skype sometime. It feels sorta like I have to pee when I spaff (into a kleenex or elsewhere usually) but hey, accidental golden showers are cool, too!
Plus it's kinda hard just to stick it in a chick. I'm pretty sure, unless you go to the tribal wastelands of Pakistan, that they have rape laws across the world. It's made my life so much more challenging.
Has everyone forgot about cutting holes in your pockets? lol!
I had a hole in my pockets once and tried jacking it down my street. Looked pretty blatant. Girls can fap on the fly which peeves me off. Plus I've jerked off with almost anything, including sandpaper and a brillo pad.
Still, my dick looks damn beautiful. Shame I'm the sort of person who has to have an energy drink to get out of bed, and as Chippy said "half a Viagra just to take a morning piss". I burnt out that candle way too quickly.
Shame I'm the sort of person who has to have an energy drink to get out of bed, and as Chippy said "half a Viagra just to take a morning piss". I burnt out that candle way too quickly.
My Great Uncle Jim never married, lost the semimembranosus muscle, the semitendinosus muscle, and the biceps femoris muscle (all the muscles on the back of your thigh) when he stepped on a land mine in WWII, and drank like an Irish fish. He fucked every bar fly he could until he was nearly 80 and he told me your dick is like any other muscle, if you don't use it you're gonna lose it.
Step 1: Unwrap penis
Step 2: place one leg above the other & place penis between them.
Step 4: Now rock those legs like a bitch in heat (Dependent on penis length)
& Profit
This is what you call the Butterfly. The best paraphernalias to use are Vaseline and Ab Rocket.
I'm taking Beaver's advice. Solid advice from a solid man! Just gotta heal up - got a party on Sep. 1st and it's an old &T member's Sisters' 21st. I detect some fun, plus I can blag Viagra from a Dutch Doctor I am seeing next week.
Eheheheheh. Also just to confirm, Viagra doesn't give you a boner for no reason. If you take it and don't get aroused, you don't get a lob-on. It takes way too much to get me turned on these days. The internet and past girls have ruined my sense of morality
I'm taking Beaver's advice. Solid advice from a solid man! Just gotta heal up - got a party on Sep. 1st and it's an old &T member's Sisters' 21st. I detect some fun, plus I can blag Viagra from a Dutch Doctor I am seeing next week.
Eheheheheh. Also just to confirm, Viagra doesn't give you a boner for no reason. If you take it and don't get aroused, you don't get a lob-on. It takes way too much to get me turned on these days. The internet and past girls have ruined my sense of morality
![[Deleted User]](https://w6.vanillicon.com/v2/616f31d4e3d891a87bcf72b98a505c5a.svg)
Comments
EDIT: In one of my first real "office meetings" i noticed a women doing this. TIP: The rhythmic sway and dilated pupils gave it away.
but you're right, we can hit people with our dicks, i do it all the time.
wanna swap?
That might come in handy to put the Pakistani Flag on.
Have fun
Aren't worried how small the flag would look?
Nah, I am sure the world smallest flag will fit your penis fine
I'll always be up for swapping for a day. The veggie aisles would be my mode of attack, then the sex shops, just to see what the fuss is about g-spots and clits being "awesome" as I managed to make girls squirt who didn't know they could.
Yeah, then afterwards I tend to do this...
While it is true that my dick is only 4 1/2 inches, where I come from we measure side to side.
Cupcakes Noooo!
Oh wait, that's the only real function of a wee wee. Although I would love to use my wee wee for just that purpose.
Are we talking about ass cheeks?
Someone at school once walked over to someone sitting at a computer, lowered their chair, spun it around and smacked the dude straight in the face with his cock. Funniest shit I've ever seen.
While that is certainly it most useful and enjoyable function one should not underrate the ability to write one's name in the snow.
Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the urine is from Joe Biden
"Joe? How could you do this to me? What could be worse than this?"
"The handwriting's Michelle's."
Step 1: Unwrap penis
Step 2: place one leg above the other & place penis between them.
Step 4: Now rock those legs like a bitch in heat (Dependent on penis length)
& Profit
Correction, as a lightsaber.
<em>
Real Men ^
Das wuddum talkin bout!
_________________________
Back on subject...........http://media.lelombrik.net/33001-33500/97f502a5b7300735fe80b2560104150394d4c136.swf
You can squirt? Dude, we should totally Skype sometime. It feels sorta like I have to pee when I spaff (into a kleenex or elsewhere usually) but hey, accidental golden showers are cool, too!
Plus it's kinda hard just to stick it in a chick. I'm pretty sure, unless you go to the tribal wastelands of Pakistan, that they have rape laws across the world. It's made my life so much more challenging.
I had a hole in my pockets once and tried jacking it down my street. Looked pretty blatant. Girls can fap on the fly which peeves me off. Plus I've jerked off with almost anything, including sandpaper and a brillo pad.
Still, my dick looks damn beautiful. Shame I'm the sort of person who has to have an energy drink to get out of bed, and as Chippy said "half a Viagra just to take a morning piss". I burnt out that candle way too quickly.
My Great Uncle Jim never married, lost the semimembranosus muscle, the semitendinosus muscle, and the biceps femoris muscle (all the muscles on the back of your thigh) when he stepped on a land mine in WWII, and drank like an Irish fish. He fucked every bar fly he could until he was nearly 80 and he told me your dick is like any other muscle, if you don't use it you're gonna lose it.
Well shit,I guess I have no choice. Now ima hafta lend her my electron microscope.
This is what you call the Butterfly. The best paraphernalias to use are Vaseline and Ab Rocket.
You don't have to watch my Penis from Uranus from that device. I am sure it's quite viewable even from the end of this galaxy.
Eheheheheh. Also just to confirm, Viagra doesn't give you a boner for no reason. If you take it and don't get aroused, you don't get a lob-on. It takes way too much to get me turned on these days. The internet and past girls have ruined my sense of morality
Joining the same club pretty soon.