Just a bit of bullshit concerning not 'getting caught'

wasjoshwasjosh Regular
edited February 2011 in Man Cave
  • Lose your 'close' friends
    Keeping people at a distance is the easiest way to keep your ass distant from a fucking jail cell. The simple fact is no one cares more for your personal well-being than you do, it's a primordial impossibility. Whatever you do personally is in your best interest(even if it's based on flawed logical processes), whatever someone else does, well simply enough, that's in their best interest. Just keep a healthy distance, the only power they have over you is what you give them.
  • Forget about your intimate relationships
    Of course it's sad to think like this, and the same society that wants you to reproduce in cute little couples also thinks it's sad for you to resort to breaking the law to fulfill your very basic needs. You can care for people, and they can love you much more than themselves, but it goes against the most basic laws of nature to believe this in 100% of circumstances. If you're doing something that can land you in prison, play the odds, and keep it to yourself.
  • Understand what secure communaction is
    This is easy enough: Thoughts in your mind: Safe (as of 13-7-2010) Shit you say or write: Unsafe. Off the record, The Onion Ring, hardcore crypto, etc. can only go so far.(That is, just to the person who is smarter than you.) To get much more into the systematics of this: http://www.why-war.com/files/2003/09/activist_security.html
    For secure Instant Messaging: Download Pidgin(uses existing AIM/YAHOO/MSN etc.) and this 'off the record' plug-in (Thought this was worth adding after realizing me and muffins both use this shit. Even if you don't think your shit needs to be encrypted, you still shouldn't let these assholes have access.
  • Get rid of your ego
    You're a small person, just as tiny as me in fact. Don't try to make yourself larger, it'll only serve to make you an easier target for everyone. Nothing you do will ever matter. As far as current facts go, you'll never create matter, nor destroy it. Just have fun, and keep the monkeys off your back.
  • Stop wasting your time
    You do not need clothes, cologne, or even goddamn deodorant. Find something(s) that you can really justify as mattering to you, and maybe to others. This should not include you getting laid, as it could easily come into conflict with the above guideline. Stop shoplifting, start reading about assholes you don't care about. Figure out a way to expand your perspective, and go with it. Money is not the objective. Understanding yourself and those around you will net you far more value than monetary units can.
  • Figure out how to deal with authorities
    This doesn't vary too much here in the states. DO NOT SPEAK with them at all, and have/find a good lawyer. Your goal is to keep your ass out of jail, their goal is to lock you up tight, for as long as they can. In short: DO NOT SPEAK WITH THEM AT ALL. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO THEM. Leave it to your lawyer, you are paying him for something, right?


That's all I've got for now, pretty much common sense, but it never hurts to reiterate.




Naps are not just for the toddlers...



Edit:

Moving this up for easier read:
Originally posted by Grayboy


10 commandments of the ....Sicilian mafia


Quote:
No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.
Never look at the wives of friends.
Never be seen with cops.
Don't go to pubs and clubs.
Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife is about to give birth.
Appointments must absolutely be respected.
Wives must be treated with respect.
When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.
Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.
People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.
Weird huh? Kill someone, thats cool, but don't you dare go into a pub, or deviate from moral values...I suppose its just common sense stuff to ensure their survival but it seems a bit restrictive for a criminal organisation lol

Grayboy said these were found by the police in some mobsters home, just fyi. :P
muffins wrote: »
I suppose though it protects criminals from the four most common things to bring about their downfall, with a sprinkling of racism added as well. The four things that bring down criminals tend to be;

1)The police
2)women
3)money
3)Alcohol/Substance abuse

Comments

  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    Thanks bro, I'm working on distancing myself from letting people know what i do. I have an apprentice but i dont let him know all of whats going on
  • wasjoshwasjosh Regular
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    Thanks bro, I'm working on distancing myself from letting people know what i do. I have an apprentice but i dont let him know all of whats going on

    That's beautiful, I'll make bunks for both of you if you'd like to come live in my garage.

    And thank you, this was after all, your idea.


    *wacks it a bit*
  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    wasjosh wrote: »
    That's beautiful, I'll make bunks for both of you if you'd like to come live in my garage.

    And thank you, this was after all, your idea.


    *wacks it a bit*


    Keep postin in BI bro and if i ever travel your way i might look ya up
  • edited July 2010
    That was a very interesting read. Thanks for this post, it really opened my eyes!
  • edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    Thanks bro, I'm working on distancing myself from letting people know what i do. I have an apprentice but i dont let him know all of whats going on

    But you aren't doing anything any cop would honestly give two shits about...
  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    But you aren't doing anything any cop would honestly give two shits about...


    Theres something else that i dont speak of or admit to on the internets
  • megamanmegaman Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    could you email me it :D or is it THAT bad since if it was no one could blame you for not telling me.
  • edited July 2010
    megaman wrote: »
    could you email me it :D or is it THAT bad since if it was no one could blame you for not telling me.

    How does he know you're not a cop yourself?

    See what he's getting at here? :P
  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    megaman wrote: »
    could you email me it :D or is it THAT bad since if it was no one could blame you for not telling me.


    check my sig bro, I dont email or pm certain shit. and certain things are best left unknown. also work on your post count become a trusted member of the community and oppurtunities will open up for you. best advice i can give
  • wasjoshwasjosh Regular
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    check my sig bro, I dont email or pm certain shit. and certain things are best left unknown. also work on your post count become a trusted member of the community and oppurtunities will open up for you. best advice i can give

    That's great that you added me on MSN, and we're both already using pidgin and OTR(when I can convince others to).

    I edited OP to add your sig. download info. :)
  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    wasjosh wrote: »
    That's great that you added me on MSN, and we're both already using pidgin and OTR(when I can convince others to).

    I edited OP to add your sig. download info. :)


    hit me up on msn in bout 30 minutes would lovve to chat
  • megamanmegaman Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    muffins wrote: »
    check my sig bro, I dont email or pm certain shit. and certain things are best left unknown. also work on your post count become a trusted member of the community and oppurtunities will open up for you. best advice i can give

    Aight that's understandable considering i was a lurker for the vast majority of time being here from up to the original totse and yah i get that some things aren't for me to know.
  • Professor ElmProfessor Elm Regular
    edited July 2010
    Nice guide, I had to deploy some of these techniques yesterday.
  • grayboygrayboy Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    For serious stuff I reccomend getting a full forensic suit; I think you can get them online bro. No forensics left at all, just wear some black clothes over it if needed :)
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited July 2010
    Learn your rights. Especially when it comes to lifting but others too. Knowing is the difference between being caught and walking away.
  • SliceSlice Regular
    edited July 2010
    I just try to stay as far under the radar as I can.
  • grayboygrayboy Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Greenbull wrote: »
    Learn your rights. Especially when it comes to lifting but others too. Knowing is the difference between being caught and walking away.

    Worst comes to worst start running ;)
  • edited July 2010
    grayboy wrote: »
    Worst comes to worst start running ;)

    Running isn't recommended in a lot of situations. Running is more noticeable than walking, causing you to catch more attention.

    Then again, it really does depend on your situation.
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited July 2010
    grayboy wrote: »
    Worst comes to worst start running ;)
    As an example where I live, security cannot hold you unless you've stolen more then $300. Running will only make it worse.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2010
    Loving this guide. Being at Uni and dabbling in some good money makers mean I need to appear close, but be distanced. +1 to OP
  • grayboygrayboy Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    trx100 wrote: »
    Running isn't recommended in a lot of situations. Running is more noticeable than walking, causing you to catch more attention.

    Then again, it really does depend on your situation.

    Well generally escaping then ;)
  • edited July 2010
    It's obviously possible to never get caught, but you'll have no life left at the end of taking all those measures.
  • xazibi8xazibi8 Semo-Regulars
    edited October 2010
    if pertaining to murder, take a long distance (1,000 + yard) shot, then take the shell, file barrel, and dispose of gun in muriatic acid or white-hot flame. to add precaution, have a change of clothes, wear a prosthetic mask, colored contacts, fake scars/tattoos, dyed hair, etc when performing the hit.
  • stresstres Regular
    edited October 2010
    ^^ damn dude how much shit have u been in before? i've never had to think about that stuff :o
  • Sarahlov3lySarahlov3ly Regular
    edited November 2010
    If running away from the cops be sure your glowstick necklace from the party isn't around your neck. - sigh .. Been there
  • lazybumlazybum Acolyte
    edited November 2010
    dont try to rob a store while you are high and drunk / crunk
    nothing good will ever come of that
  • abrnabrn Abrn
    edited November 2010
    trx100 wrote: »
    Running isn't recommended in a lot of situations. Running is more noticeable than walking, causing you to catch more attention.

    Then again, it really does depend on your situation.

    An idea you made me have. Instead of wearing undies, get some running shorts and a t-shirt under your op gear,maybe some sweat bands. Then it looks like youre just a runner. Note: doesn't work well when youve got a piece of chain link sticking out of a bleeding thigh
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
    this is a good guide if you Deal small pety crimes.

    if you want top prize i say do opposite of

    Everything OP put down. Well everything but intimate relationships

    The last thing you need is a bitch slowing you down.
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