Sneaking into Mecca

therougepenguintherougepenguin Semo-Regulars
edited August 2010 in Man Cave
For those that don't know, Mecca is a city in Saudi Arabia that is holy to the Muslim people. One of the five pillars of the Muslim faith is to make the Hajj, or pilgrimage to Mecca, at least once in your life if able. I'd wager there's some pretty cool stuff to see there, but Mecca is closed to non-Muslims. I'm not a Muslim, but would like to go sometime to check it out, so let's see if Totse can come up with how to fake being Muslim in a gigantic crowd of Muslims.

EDIT: Sorry if this should be in the travel forum, but I figured Bad Ideas since there is a high chance of pissing off a bunch of Muslims and going to jail.

Comments

  • edited July 2010
    If you somehow snuck into Mecca, so long as you wore the same stuff as everyone else and didn't draw attention, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to pull it off.

    I bet you'd have to prove you're a muslim to gain entry, though. They'd probably expect you to speak Arabic.
  • MegaKushMegaKush Regular
    edited July 2010
    they will cut off your foot for walking into muslim sacred holy land.
    just like they cut off your hand for stealing
    and gouge your eyes out for being a peeping tom
    and cut your dick off for rape
  • L33tzL33tz Regular
    edited July 2010
    MegaKush wrote: »
    they will cut off your foot for walking into muslim sacred holy land.
    just like they cut off your hand for stealing
    and gouge your eyes out for being a peeping tom
    and cut your dick off for rape
    Saudi family tries to hide their blatant hypocrisy and sins by enforcing very harsh punishments and rules.
  • NotDeadYetNotDeadYet New Arrival
    edited July 2010
    You know you can just get on your knees and bow a hundred times for 8 hours straight from your home. What are you expecting to see?
  • MegaKushMegaKush Regular
    edited July 2010
    dude imagine the feeling when you are there. think about sneaking into a building you arent supposed to be in, maybe to steal something. this would be taking that to the next level and the feeling of suspense would be incredible. it would make a really good movie on youtube it would get like a hundred million views
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2010
    A) A Non-Muslim can't go to Mecca.
    B) You won't find anything there except Mosque and places where Muslims gather and remember the roots of Islam and hope their sins are forgiven.

    You should torrent National Geographic Documentary on Mecca. I haven't seen it yet but I think it was banned in my region.

    I have been there and it's a spiritual place where you complete the ritual of Hajj and Umrah. I didn't perform Hajj and I must warn you, for a non beleiver it's pretty tough to perform Hajj.

    But lets assume you want to visit Mecca.

    A) Convert to Islam. You will have to be a Muslim. Fake it if required. Use your local Mosque and convert to Islam.
    B) Then you will need to change your passport and change your religion to Islam.
    C) Talk to your travel agent, he will guide you to the rest of the process.
    D) Make sure to LEARN SOME ARABIC , I mean you should know how to pray and recite some surah, they don't test you but it could happen. Plus, it's best if you know those things.

    Since you're an American you will get some VIP treatment if you pay right, consider wearing kameez shalwar. If you act and look the part you will be safe.

    BUT I must warn you, your color will betray you. People will keep an eye on you and beggars will harass you, It's best to ignore or avoid them if possible.


    Honestly, you should try it but it's risky and you just might convert to Islam or hate it altogether.

  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2010
    Btw ask SLIM, he knows the detailed process.
  • StaplesStaples Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would love to check it out, but I would probably be kidnapped while still on the bus.
  • therougepenguintherougepenguin Semo-Regulars
    edited July 2010
    Dfg wrote: »
    A) A Non-Muslim can't go to Mecca.
    B) You won't find anything there except Mosque and places where Muslims gather and remember the roots of Islam and hope their sins are forgiven.

    You should torrent National Geographic Documentary on Mecca. I haven't seen it yet but I think it was banned in my region.

    I have been there and it's a spiritual place where you complete the ritual of Hajj and Umrah. I didn't perform Hajj and I must warn you, for a non beleiver it's pretty tough to perform Hajj.

    But lets assume you want to visit Mecca.

    A) Convert to Islam. You will have to be a Muslim. Fake it if required. Use your local Mosque and convert to Islam.
    B) Then you will need to change your passport and change your religion to Islam.
    C) Talk to your travel agent, he will guide you to the rest of the process.
    D) Make sure to LEARN SOME ARABIC , I mean you should know how to pray and recite some surah, they don't test you but it could happen. Plus, it's best if you know those things.

    Since you're an American you will get some VIP treatment if you pay right, consider wearing kameez shalwar. If you act and look the part you will be safe.

    BUT I must warn you, your color will betray you. People will keep an eye on you and beggars will harass you, It's best to ignore or avoid them if possible.


    Honestly, you should try it but it's risky and you just might convert to Islam or hate it altogether.


    Thank you Dfg, that's what I was looking for. I kind of figured the best way would be just to convert to Islam, even if I didn't really mean it. And I wouldn't go anywhere without knowing a little bit of the language anyways. As for why I want to go, I don't really know. This is more hypothetical than anything but I think it would be cool to see and I like learning about other cultures.

    One more thing though, aside from having to have a male escort in any public space and having to dress modestly, what other challenges would being a girl add? I've heard Saudi Arabia can be dangerous for women, but I'd imagine Mecca would be relatively safe.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    I don't know much about the culture there, but would it be out of place to wear those clothes that cover everything except for eye slits?
  • edited July 2010
    Dfg wrote: »

    But lets assume you want to visit Mecca.

    A) Convert to Islam. You will have to be a Muslim. Fake it if required. Use your local Mosque and convert to Islam.
    B) Then you will need to change your passport and change your religion to Islam.
    C) Talk to your travel agent, he will guide you to the rest of the process.
    D) Make sure to LEARN SOME ARABIC , I mean you should know how to pray and recite some surah, they don't test you but it could happen. Plus, it's best if you know those things.


    some verie important things you forgot to mention :

    [1] fore

    [2] removal

    [3] skin

    unless ofcourse ... your talking to a jew.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2010
    Thank you Dfg, that's what I was looking for. I kind of figured the best way would be just to convert to Islam, even if I didn't really mean it. And I wouldn't go anywhere without knowing a little bit of the language anyways. As for why I want to go, I don't really know. This is more hypothetical than anything but I think it would be cool to see and I like learning about other cultures.

    One more thing though, aside from having to have a male escort in any public space and having to dress modestly, what other challenges would being a girl add? I've heard Saudi Arabia can be dangerous for women, but I'd imagine Mecca would be relatively safe.
    You will need a male escort. That male escort SHOULD be your father, brothers or husband.

    Women are treated with respect there, no one would bother you. I am talking about Mecca btw. You should cover yourself at all times. You can't go out without wearing a hijab. It's a must.


    Aside from that, I don't think you will attract much attention. Considering there are tons of other girls roaming around left and right all the time.

    DON'T TRY TO DRIVE! and preach other religions or do drugs. Shove your freedom of speech up your ass and just follow the crowd.


    Read this: http://www.jannah.org/hajj/tipsandtricks.html


    Also, you will need to write Dfg on your tits or body and send me the pictures, this is a must. Without it, you can't go to Mecca!
    some verie important things you forgot to mention :

    [1] fore

    [2] removal

    [3] skin

    unless ofcourse ... your talking to a jew.

    Oh snap.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Thank you Dfg, that's what I was looking for. I kind of figured the best way would be just to convert to Islam, even if I didn't really mean it. And I wouldn't go anywhere without knowing a little bit of the language anyways. As for why I want to go, I don't really know. This is more hypothetical than anything but I think it would be cool to see and I like learning about other cultures.

    One more thing though, aside from having to have a male escort in any public space and having to dress modestly, what other challenges would being a girl add? I've heard Saudi Arabia can be dangerous for women, but I'd imagine Mecca would be relatively safe.

    Tits or gtfo?
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited July 2010
    Aha! Sir Rolf states thou wishes to follow in the footsteps of the daring Sir Richard Francis Burton.

    The next time said Capt'n Rolf visits said Big Daddy RFB, Sir Rolf shall ask how infiltration of Mecca is to be done without losing the feet of oneself.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Honestly this sounds like something you should watch in a documentary rather than do for real.
  • edited July 2010
    Dfg wrote: »


    A) Convert to Islam. You will have to be a Muslim. Fake it if required. Use your local Mosque and convert to Islam.


    If he did that in the States they'd probably start a file on him lol.

    Also, like DFG said, don't get too involved with the people you find there. As you continue to talk to them, the probability of them discovering that you're not a Muslim approaches 1.
  • trippytrippy Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    some verie important things you forgot to mention :

    [1] fore

    [2] removal

    [3] skin

    unless ofcourse ... your talking to a jew.

    who the fuck isnt circumcised in this day and age?
  • Name's TakenName's Taken Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    trippy wrote: »
    who the fuck isnt circumcised in this day and age?

    People not from backwards countries that still practice genital mutilation.
  • PigPig Regular
    edited August 2010
    Why would it be worth sneaking into Mecca? What's there to see?
  • KamuyKamuy Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    Can you bring me back a piece of that meteorite they have at mecca, I need it for my collection.
  • edited August 2010
    trippy wrote: »
    who the fuck isnt circumcised in this day and age?

    people who you dont ... and perhaps will never belong to.

    WE .... THE WHOLESOME PEOPLE.

    Now envy us, you juden.
  • AM33NAM33N Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    Waah, that's a lot of planning and commitment. I can see that curiosity is getting the best of you. Sneaking into mecca, heh. Can't you just pretend to be some kind of journalist ? After you get there just disguise . . . plus I think I remember a post like this in the old totse ? déja-vu I guess :- P
  • edited August 2010
    People not from backwards countries that still practice genital mutilation.

    There's no reason why you need foreskin whatsoever. It looks disgusting and it's really unhygenic.

    Backwards? Whenever I come accross a guy who isn't circumsized it's a sure bet he's a filthy, undisciplined pig - or at least his parents are.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited August 2010
    There's no reason why you need foreskin whatsoever. It looks disgusting and it's really unhygenic.

    Backwards? Whenever I come accross a guy who isn't circumsized it's a sure bet he's a filthy, undisciplined pig - or at least his parents are.

    Rolf is sorry to hear that you need your genitals mutilated in order to be able to keep yourself clean, it's a shame not all of us are born with the ability to clean ourselves, states Rolf.
  • edited August 2010
    There's no reason why you need foreskin whatsoever. It looks disgusting and it's really unhygenic.

    Backwards? Whenever I come accross a guy who isn't circumsized it's a sure bet he's a filthy, undisciplined pig - or at least his parents are.

    [1] I hope your a girl cos it sounded really ghey if your a man when you says something like this.

    [2] Conclusion : The Judens had succeeded in convincing every retard that their way of life = right.
  • MantikoreMantikore Regular
    edited August 2010
    There's no reason why you need foreskin whatsoever. It looks disgusting and it's really unhygenic.

    Backwards? Whenever I come accross a guy who isn't circumsized it's a sure bet he's a filthy, undisciplined pig - or at least his parents are.

    theres no need for your eyebrows either.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited August 2010
    Mantikore wrote: »
    theres no need for your eyebrows either.

    Eyebrows allow emotions to be emphasized :o
  • jatorjator Regular
    edited August 2010
    trippy wrote: »
    who the fuck isnt circumcised in this day and age?

    Well you're quite obviously a JEW. JEW ALERT!
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Also don't use TP in Mecca.
  • edited August 2010
    jator wrote: »
    Well you're quite obviously a JEW. JEW ALERT!

    achtung-juden.jpg
  • edited August 2010
    Mantikore wrote: »
    theres no need for your eyebrows either.

    Eyebrows help prevent dirt and other shit going into your eyes. Give me the exact reason why you need foreskin.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited August 2010
    Give me the exact reason why you need foreskin.

    Look up "Gliding Action", maybe you'll discover why it's better to not mutilate yourself, states Rolf.
  • edited August 2010
    Rolf wrote: »
    Look up "Gliding Action", maybe you'll discover why it's better to not mutilate yourself, states Rolf.

    Not that I'd know the difference, but I have no problem with sensativity, being circumsized. Animals have foreskins and it's disgusting. And as for the 'mutilation' argument; when the world stops piercing (ears, nose, nipples, other genitals etc etc.) then they're more than welcome to continue the debate. In the meantime: Pot. Kettle. Black.
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