Worst Sexual Accidents — Totseans

Worst Sexual Accidents

fanglekaifanglekai Regular
edited September 2010 in Life
«134

Comments

  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    About a month ago I got a girl knocked up on accident. Does that count.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Yes, it does. That didn't even occur to me when I was making the thread. :o:o
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Haha yeah found out a couple days ago that it was for sure. I was like WTFF!!! All well. Thats the only accident I can think of.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    That accident, like so many others, can be fixed by a simple doctor visit.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Haha I dont get to call those shots and she wont do it. She is going to raise it so I am forced to pay all my money to her. All well shit happens in life I have come to terms with this. I think so more people need to post there accidents on here because I am feeling a little left out.
  • FONFON Regular
    edited August 2010
    Fuck man. Don't know what I'd do if I got a girl preggers and she wouldn't abort the mission....

    Worst accident is uhhh...Probably being so drunk I thought fucking a girl on her period wouldn't be too bad.
  • edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Haha I dont get to call those shots and she wont do it. She is going to raise it so I am forced to pay all my money to her. All well shit happens in life I have come to terms with this. I think so more people need to post there accidents on here because I am feeling a little left out.

    You might not get to call the shots, but accidents can happen to pregnant women, too.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Yeah and she wont even go for adoption. Kinda pissed me off a bit but all well. I am going to school no matter what. But yeah fucking a girl on her period is kinda gross. But sometimes it happens.
  • MegaKushMegaKush Regular
    edited August 2010
    got shot in the dick with an airsoft gun upper shaft
    it left a good welt..
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    MegaKush wrote: »
    got shot in the dick with an airsoft gun upper shaft
    it left a good welt..

    Was this during sex. I thought we were taking about sex accidents. If that happened to you during sex damn dude. That chick must have been pissed with the results.
  • thatsMYdogthatsMYdog Regular
    edited August 2010
    He was doing me from behind HARD and shoved it into my asshole HARD. Hurt so fucking bad :(
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited August 2010
    I burned my wrist pretty badly making ramen the day before, and she decided it would be fun if she could grab onto my wrist with her long fingernails. I still have the scar :mad:
  • jatorjator Regular
    edited August 2010
    This was more during foreplay I suppose but a drunk bitch pissed on me once.

    I threw all those clothes out as soon as I got home. Man that ruined my night.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Damn these stories seem to be getting more and more disgusting. Keep em coming.
  • StaplesStaples Regular
    edited August 2010
    I think I might have gotten an STD

    -once I came on her face in a band practice room.. some went in her eye, the rest went all over the amp cords and stuff.. the next day, people were touching the stuff I came on and I just kind of facepalmed

    Once at a party I was taken advantage of by a lesbian chick, not like I minded, and people started trying to bust in the door. I piled all the furniture in the room against the door, then stood horizontally to the floor with my hands on a bureau and my feet on the opposing wall before eventually saying fuck it and sitting on the bed while the door was unceremoniously kicked in
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited August 2010
    I'd been fucking this girl for a while and she wanted me to stick my finger in her butt during. I was fucked out of my box and not thinking so when she gave the cue I jammed my finger in there. It hurt her so she said to pull it out so I quickly took it out which hurt her even more. She txted me the next day saying I gave her a hernia (I called bullshit but she wouldn't hear otherwise). I told her since the whole thing was her idea anyway there was no way in hell I was paying for the doctor.
  • thatsMYdogthatsMYdog Regular
    edited August 2010
    Jark how old are you again?
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    19 and starting my first year of real college in a few weeks. i assume you asking because of the prego thing. Yeah I am to young for this but damn shit happens. What gets me is it was the first time I was in a sexual relationship and I fucked up big time.
  • thatsMYdogthatsMYdog Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    19 and starting my first year of real college in a few weeks. i assume you asking because of the prego thing. Yeah I am to young for this but damn shit happens. What gets me is it was the first time I was in a sexual relationship and I fucked up big time.

    Well I know younger people with kids, don't worry I'm not judging. Just curious.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    I didnt think you were judging. I cant stand the girl though. So thats a negative thing but all well.
  • FONFON Regular
    edited August 2010
    Tell that chick childbirth is gonna be a hell of a lot worse than an abortion.
  • edited August 2010
    FON wrote: »
    Tell that chick childbirth is gonna be a hell of a lot worse than an abortion.

    Child support is going to be a cunt. Jarkof should take solace in the fact that there's a pretty high chance that her vagina will tear during birth, and that she'll likely poop as the baby is coming out.
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited August 2010
    an "accidental" falcon punch or kick down a flight of stairs could solve the pregnancy problem :thumbsup:
  • blindbatblindbat Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Haha yeah found out a couple days ago that it was for sure. I was like WTFF!!! All well. Thats the only accident I can think of.

    Lol when your kid pisses you off , now you can say " you were an accident " :D:thumbsup:
  • 47 47 4747 47 47 Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    I have yet to have a sexual "accident"

    Maybe I need to fuck more bitches than just my X and my best friend :(
  • Tiny_Penis : (Tiny_Penis : ( Regular
    edited August 2010
    not really an accident per say, more of an unfortunate event....but one time while i was in the middle of bustin my nut, i got a killer fuckin cramp in my hip. i fuckin twisted all weird, convulsing in pain and pleasure and came all over my stomach.

    worst nut ever
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    I didnt think you were judging. I cant stand the girl though. So thats a negative thing but all well.

    Stress this point. Tell her constantly how much you hate her. Tell her she's a stupid fucking whore and you only fucked her for the lulz. Go on and on and on about how you will be an absentee father figure and the kid will grow up as a bastard with no role model. Tell her how she's going to get fat, stretch marks, ruin her vagina (true, they have to stitch it back together), and shit herself when the baby pops out. Explain how you have no money and you will never have money because she's crippling your earning potential. Tell her she's going to end up like the women on jerry springer and maury.
  • SliceSlice Regular
    edited August 2010
    worst nut ever

    1%5Ccomic-book-guy---simpsons-17121.jpg
    :o:o:o:o
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Damn I went off and this because a huge talk. Ok so first of all I cant call her names because we share like all of our friends and I would like to keep them. And as for the abortion I am really not a go for that. Adoption wouldnt be bad though. Really wish for a miscarriage. i feel shitty to feel that but that is what I am going for right now. Otherwise I am stuck with a child with a girl I dont really like being around. And then as for the hitting her in the stomach I dont think that would look good to the cops because I know she would call. She already had a miscarriage once(found out later) and so I am kinda hoping she just has problems and it will happen again. Damn I just can t believe it still. I am about to start college in like 2 weeks. Well I still have about 7.5 months to screw around.
  • edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Damn I went off and this because a huge talk. Ok so first of all I cant call her names because we share like all of our friends and I would like to keep them. And as for the abortion I am really not a go for that. Adoption wouldnt be bad though. Really wish for a miscarriage. i feel shitty to feel that but that is what I am going for right now. Otherwise I am stuck with a child with a girl I dont really like being around. And then as for the hitting her in the stomach I dont think that would look good to the cops because I know she would call. She already had a miscarriage once(found out later) and so I am kinda hoping she just has problems and it will happen again. Damn I just can t believe it still. I am about to start college in like 2 weeks. Well I still have about 7.5 months to screw around.

    Do research, find a drug or chemical that causes miscarriages and put it in her food.

    The antidepressant Depakote can cause babies to be born without brains, for one.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    ^
    Haha yeah and then it kills her because she is alergic to everything and then they find the drug and who would get blamed first. The father of the fetus. Yeah.
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Damn I went off and this because a huge talk. Ok so first of all I cant call her names because we share like all of our friends and I would like to keep them. And as for the abortion I am really not a go for that. Adoption wouldnt be bad though. Really wish for a miscarriage. i feel shitty to feel that but that is what I am going for right now. Otherwise I am stuck with a child with a girl I dont really like being around. And then as for the hitting her in the stomach I dont think that would look good to the cops because I know she would call. She already had a miscarriage once(found out later) and so I am kinda hoping she just has problems and it will happen again. Damn I just can t believe it still. I am about to start college in like 2 weeks. Well I still have about 7.5 months to screw around.

    You're not okay with her getting an abortion but you want her to have a miscarriage?!

    Dude, you're not making any sense, how can you be so apathetic?!

    You're throwing your life away because of the stupid decisions of someone else! Does that not piss you off more than anything in the world?!

    This is what I want you to do: Acquire a drug that will terminate the pregnancy and slip it into her food or drink. It's still early in the pregnancy, at this point a chemical abortion will not be a big deal.

    For god sakes, get mad!:angry:
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    You're not okay with her getting an abortion but you want her to have a miscarriage?!

    Dude, you're not making any sense, how can you be so apathetic?!

    You're throwing your life away because of the stupid decisions of someone else! Does that not piss you off more than anything in the world?!

    This is what I want you to do: Acquire a drug that will terminate the pregnancy and slip it into her food or drink. It's still early in the pregnancy, at this point a chemical abortion will not be a big deal.

    For god sakes, get mad!:angry:

    The difference of that, that makes me not mind is a miscarriage is more like natural damn that sux thing and abortion is a purposely done procedure. I could not do an abortion because I always hated the idea and didnt expect to be in this situation so I dont want to change my morals. And we both fucked up on our lives. I did it to myself now I will have to just deal with it. But enough of this sad talk. I am talking to much like namaste right now and am done with that.
  • 1357913579 Death Cog Machine
    edited August 2010
    Bukujutsu wrote: »

    For god sakes, get mad!:angry:

  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited August 2010
    Fuck yeah!!!
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Dude, you're 19. You cannot be financially responsible for anyone. You don't have the means to properly raise a kid. There's no way you could ever pay child support unless you're already rich. You need to talk with her about being a responsible person and getting an abortion.
  • MegaKushMegaKush Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Was this during sex. I thought we were taking about sex accidents. If that happened to you during sex damn dude. That chick must have been pissed with the results.

    nah but it hurt when i masturbated for a week after. does that count?
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Dude, you're 19. You cannot be financially responsible for anyone. You don't have the means to properly raise a kid. There's no way you could ever pay child support unless you're already rich. You need to talk with her about being a responsible person and getting an abortion.

    Yeah I know but I really dont have a choice in the matter. Not even a little bit.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    Yeah I know but I really dont have a choice in the matter. Not even a little bit.

    Falcon puuuuuuuuunch.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Falcon puuuuuuuuunch.

    haha if only if only.
  • 47 47 4747 47 47 Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Falcon puuuuuuuuunch.
    jarkof wrote: »
    haha if only if only.

    All you have to do is hold down B while she stands in front of you.....
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    47 47 47 wrote: »
    All you have to do is hold down B while she stands in front of you.....

    That made me lol man. What if I am using an emu and it is an xbox conrtoller.
  • edited August 2010
    I was pounding my ex boyfriends ashole, going hard and deep and then I came inside of him. I went to lick his asshle afterwards and saw what I thought was just a little santorum oozing out so I went for it. Seconds later a small turd touched the tip of my toungue. I was not amused. He said he couldn't controll himself because he was cumming so hard.
  • abrnabrn Abrn
    edited August 2010
    I fuck my gf on her period all the time, its awesome, free lube, extra horny, not that messy and not "painful" as i have heard.
    Never had any very bad sexual accidents but I once witnessed the letting of a literally 2 minute long queef. Also the typical ALMOST surprise buttsex slips.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    abrn wrote: »
    I fuck my gf on her period all the time, its awesome, free lube, extra horny, not that messy and not "painful" as i have heard.
    Never had any very bad sexual accidents but I once witnessed the letting of a literally 2 minute long queef. Also the typical ALMOST surprise buttsex slips.

    I love period sex. Girls really do love it too if you can convince them to let you do it. :thumbsup:
  • NightsideNightside Regular
    edited August 2010
    I was pounding my ex boyfriends ashole, going hard and deep and then I came inside of him. I went to lick his asshle afterwards and saw what I thought was just a little santorum oozing out so I went for it. Seconds later a small turd touched the tip of my toungue. I was not amused. He said he couldn't controll himself because he was cumming so hard.

    I'll take the bait @ your blatant troll post by saying:
    FAIL TROLL. Nice try but too obvious you're trying to troll. Tone it back and you won't be seen as a blatant troll.

    There, you got attention for your troll post, go back to your bridge mofo.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Nightside wrote: »
    I'll take the bait @ your blatant troll post by saying:
    FAIL TROLL. Nice try but too obvious you're trying to troll. Tone it back and you won't be seen as a blatant troll.

    There, you got attention for your troll post, go back to your bridge mofo.

    I thought I was the only one who saw he was a blatant fail troll.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    Nightside wrote: »
    I'll take the bait @ your blatant troll post by saying:
    FAIL TROLL. Nice try but too obvious you're trying to troll. Tone it back and you won't be seen as a blatant troll.

    There, you got attention for your troll post, go back to your bridge mofo.

    He wasnt trolling. I can tell you this for sure because I was the guy he was with. It was so fun. I Laughed my ass off.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    jarkof wrote: »
    He wasnt trolling. I can tell you this for sure because I was the guy he was with. It was so fun. I Laughed my ass off.

    I stand corrected. :o
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited August 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    I stand corrected. :o

    Its ok I forgive you.
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