Parents coming into the house unexpectedly and the both of us yell and fall off the bed in surprise, then proceed to hide on the other side of the bed under the covers. It was lulz.
What, did you get caught then immediately jumped upon and bum raped?
I wish. Haha know it was in my best pals car and he was really fucking pissed. Oh and did I mention I was living with him and needless to say I couldnt stay.
I wish. Haha know it was in my best pals car and he was really fucking pissed. Oh and did I mention I was living with him and needless to say I couldnt stay.
Wtf, if it was you as my best friend I would have stared a moment, high fived you and told you to clean my car afterward.
I take it you've never had sex in a public place? Getting caught doesn't mean only by your parents.
i dont know bout you, but getting caught as an adult was never funny, either i had some terrible sense of shame, or i just felt nothing.
people had been walking into me while i am having normal, straight sex and masturbating all the time. Didnt feel funny to me. I guess matured ppl dont find that kind of stuff funny.
i dont know bout you, but getting caught as an adult was never funny, either i had some terrible sense of shame, or i just felt nothing.
people had been walking into me while i am having normal, straight sex and masturbating all the time. Didnt feel funny to me. I guess matured ppl dont find that kind of stuff funny.
We were both in drumline in highschool, and it was the end of the year performance, and we were just about to go on stage and play, but we decided to have sex in the theater bathroom beforehand, because we were sexually risky like that.
The counter in the bathroom was kind of high, so it was kinda of awkward to fuck her while she was sitting on it. I was pumping and I thrust my hips back too far and fell out. When I tried to thrust back in, I hit her taint, and she started bleeding. We kept going though, cuz we went in there for one reason only.
The second time was when we first tried the position with her legs on my shoulders.
We were both in drumline in highschool, and it was the end of the year performance, and we were just about to go on stage and play, but we decided to have sex in the theater bathroom beforehand, because we were sexually risky like that.
The counter in the bathroom was kind of high, so it was kinda of awkward to fuck her while she was sitting on it. I was pumping and I thrust my hips back too far and fell out. When I tried to thrust back in, I hit her taint, and she started bleeding. We kept going though, cuz we went in there for one reason only.
The second time was when we first tried the position with her legs on my shoulders.
You made her bleed but kept going. That's the totse spirit!
You made her bleed but kept going. That's the totse spirit!
I guess. Or just two horny teenagers.
Actually, the when I first "lost" my virginity, she was bleeding as well. We were both really horny, but she was on her period. I was laying on her bed naked, and she was on top of me rubbing my dick on her clit. Then she slid it in her and my face was like
She had just taken a shower so she wasnt all nasty down there, just kinda bloody, and plus it felt so good.
When a fucked a girlfriend for the first time (she was virgin) she couldn't stop moving and took me like 10 minutes to get it inside. She said it hurt, made me feel all cool and shit and nutted in like 2 minutes. :facepalm:
Then I realized I wasn't wearing a rubber. Luckily for me her period came like four days later.
This other time we were at my apartment and some asshole knocked and knocked and shouted my name. For some idiot reason I stood up, opened the door and saw the ugly mustached girl I had for a neighbor was asking for the gas money. I was just wearing some shorts and realized I still had a boner. She said, "Um, sorry, maybe later and WINKED at me". As I walked back to my girlfriend I was rubbing my dick and I came when I saw she was fingering herself. I couldn't get it hard again until the very moment she left
This other time we were at my apartment and some asshole knocked and knocked and shouted my name. For some idiot reason I stood up, opened the door and saw the ugly mustached girl I had for a neighbor was asking for the gas money. I was just wearing some shorts and realized I still had a boner. She said, "Um, sorry, maybe later and WINKED at me". As I walked back to my girlfriend I was rubbing my dick and I came when I saw she was fingering herself. I couldn't get it hard again until the very moment she left
This made me fucking LOL. answering the door in shorts with a boner.:D:thumbsup:
When a fucked a girlfriend for the first time (she was virgin) she couldn't stop moving and took me like 10 minutes to get it inside. She said it hurt, made me feel all cool and shit and nutted in like 2 minutes. :facepalm:
Then I realized I wasn't wearing a rubber. Luckily for me her period came like four days later.
This other time we were at my apartment and some asshole knocked and knocked and shouted my name. For some idiot reason I stood up, opened the door and saw the ugly mustached girl I had for a neighbor was asking for the gas money. I was just wearing some shorts and realized I still had a boner. She said, "Um, sorry, maybe later and WINKED at me". As I walked back to my girlfriend I was rubbing my dick and I came when I saw she was fingering herself. I couldn't get it hard again until the very moment she left
Damn that sounds like a scene out of a movie. Good work!
Meh the first time I was supposed to I couldn't get it up for some reason. I don't know why. Probably because I was a chronic masterbator back then. But it turns out she cheated on me like 20 minutes before I got to her place though so I'm glad it didn't end up happening lol
Haha yeah I member that icee. She was a whore. We all kinda knew it.
And yeah fanglekia I really cant believe this thread took off so fast and full of fails.
Like, snapped in two. Didn't realize it but half of the rubber was still inside her...Was looking for it and sorta freaking out because I nutted a decent load. Ended up having sex with her again afterward because we thought fuck it, and when I pulled out the half of the condom that broke off was on the end of my dick.
I hope you'll have a good laugh when your sub-human chink-nigger hybrid girlfriend lure you back to her house oneday, got you really really drunk before her nigger boyfriends came in and do you in a multiplesome.
I hope you'll have a good laugh when your sub-human chink-nigger hybrid girlfriend lure you back to her house oneday, got you really really drunk before her nigger boyfriends came in and do you in a multiplesome.
I hope you'll have a good laugh when your sub-human chink-nigger hybrid girlfriend lure you back to her house oneday, got you really really drunk before her nigger boyfriends came in and do you in a multiplesome.
You're completely off topic once again in my thread. Stick to the topic or post elsewhere.
Like, snapped in two. Didn't realize it but half of the rubber was still inside her...Was looking for it and sorta freaking out because I nutted a decent load. Ended up having sex with her again afterward because we thought fuck it, and when I pulled out the half of the condom that broke off was on the end of my dick.
Like, snapped in two. Didn't realize it but half of the rubber was still inside her...Was looking for it and sorta freaking out because I nutted a decent load. Ended up having sex with her again afterward because we thought fuck it, and when I pulled out the half of the condom that broke off was on the end of my dick.
That sounds like a trick you should perfect, video tape, and/or perform for live audiences.
That's gross man. It would've caused toxic shock syndrome or an infection if it had stayed there for a few days. I've heard of girls getting nasty infections from candy and fruit that their man had stuck in their vag.
Did she ever hear of the morning after pill? :mad:
You fucked up your life I hope you know that. There is NO WAY IN HELL you'll be able to afford collage and child support. You'll end up working at burger king your whole life. Assuming you make 30K a year, which is the full time salary working for the king, you'll have to pay $1268 a month; more than half of your money. This does not include bills, mortgage, and possible student loans.
Your woman will have to get a full time job and I hope she knows it. Both of you will end up getting cheap apartments, and furthermore, you'll never be able to afford weed.
Did she ever hear of the morning after pill? :mad:
You fucked up your life I hope you know that. There is NO WAY IN HELL you'll be able to afford collage and child support. You'll end up working at burger king your whole life. Assuming you make 30K a year, which is the full time salary working for the king, you'll have to pay $1268 a month; more than half of your money. This does not include bills, mortgage, and possible student loans.
Your woman will have to get a full time job and I hope she knows it. Both of you will end up getting cheap apartments, and furthermore, you'll never be able to afford weed.
Your options,
-Induce abortion
-Leave the country
The crazy thing is that she refuses to adopt. She wants to have the baby. She's also only 18 years old. I tried talking to her telling her that they wont be able to afford it and every time I said it to her she just rolled her eyes around the room. She's insane man. They aren't together anymore either.
You should get them to go on Maury for the DNA test for the lulz. Bring up totse.info and say how jarkof is an unfit father for posting on this site. Would be hilarious as fuck to pressure her to give it up for adoption and mention totse.
The crazy thing is that she refuses to adopt. She wants to have the baby. She's also only 18 years old. I tried talking to her telling her that they wont be able to afford it and every time I said it to her she just rolled her eyes around the room. She's insane man. They aren't together anymore either.
She's really being selfish. It's not fair for the child to be raised in less than optimal conditions just because she's stubborn. She must be made to understand that her intrinsic motivations for keeping the baby are selfish and illogical. I'm sure you've already tried doing this, and I hope she can be gotten through to.
She's really being selfish. It's not fair for the child to be raised in less than optimal conditions just because she's stubborn. She must be made to understand that her intrinsic motivations for keeping the baby are selfish and illogical. I'm sure you've already tried doing this, and I hope she can be gotten through to.
That's what me and Jarkof have been telling her. I dunno what everyone else is telling her though. I think she thinks that if she has the kid that somehow her and Jarkof will somehow end up back together and be a happy family or some shit like that.
I really had hoped we were done talking about my predicament. But if we are I will say this. I would rather kill myself then work at BK for the rest of my life and I am staying in college despite this. She wont do abortion and neither will I let her. But I want to put it to adoption but icee and I talked to her and she still is 100 percent on raising it. WTF. And the best part is I am not with her I actually cant stand this but she is actually happy about the child. However (found out after) she had one abortion already. And she has some issues and she is feeling some pains she shouldnt this early so that may still occur. And as for the comment above by katze. I know I really did fuck up. And the best part is i am one of those good fuckers. No drugs no smoking and I have only got drunk a couple of times. Once with her. I really did mess up my life but I have lots of family that are willing to help and I will finish my schooling and get a good job. That is one thing and the only thing I know for sure.
You should get them to go on Maury for the DNA test for the lulz. Bring up totse.info and say how jarkof is an unfit father for posting on this site. Would be hilarious as fuck to pressure her to give it up for adoption and mention totse.
I know I really did fuck up. And the best part is i am one of those good fuckers. No drugs no smoking and I have only got drunk a couple of times. Once with her. I really did mess up my life but I have lots of family that are willing to help and I will finish my schooling and get a good job. That is one thing and the only thing I know for sure.
Comments
wat r u .... 12 ?
I take it you've never had sex in a public place? Getting caught doesn't mean only by your parents.
It really depends on who your caught by where you were caught and what you were doing. It can be funny in the right circumstances but not always.
Getting caught in a park is hilarious. Unless it's a cop catching you.
What, did you get caught then immediately jumped upon and bum raped?
I wish. Haha know it was in my best pals car and he was really fucking pissed. Oh and did I mention I was living with him and needless to say I couldnt stay.
Get back with her and start liking her
Wtf, if it was you as my best friend I would have stared a moment, high fived you and told you to clean my car afterward.
i dont know bout you, but getting caught as an adult was never funny, either i had some terrible sense of shame, or i just felt nothing.
people had been walking into me while i am having normal, straight sex and masturbating all the time. Didnt feel funny to me. I guess matured ppl dont find that kind of stuff funny.
are you 15 ?
No, I'm not 15. R U??
Life is funny if you let it be.
Haha yeah thats what the other friend did but the owner of the vehicle was less then happy. He was really fucking pissed.
We were both in drumline in highschool, and it was the end of the year performance, and we were just about to go on stage and play, but we decided to have sex in the theater bathroom beforehand, because we were sexually risky like that.
The counter in the bathroom was kind of high, so it was kinda of awkward to fuck her while she was sitting on it. I was pumping and I thrust my hips back too far and fell out. When I tried to thrust back in, I hit her taint, and she started bleeding. We kept going though, cuz we went in there for one reason only.
The second time was when we first tried the position with her legs on my shoulders.
You made her bleed but kept going. That's the totse spirit!
I guess. Or just two horny teenagers.
Actually, the when I first "lost" my virginity, she was bleeding as well. We were both really horny, but she was on her period. I was laying on her bed naked, and she was on top of me rubbing my dick on her clit. Then she slid it in her and my face was like
She had just taken a shower so she wasnt all nasty down there, just kinda bloody, and plus it felt so good.
We finally had sex like a week later.
Then I realized I wasn't wearing a rubber. Luckily for me her period came like four days later.
This other time we were at my apartment and some asshole knocked and knocked and shouted my name. For some idiot reason I stood up, opened the door and saw the ugly mustached girl I had for a neighbor was asking for the gas money. I was just wearing some shorts and realized I still had a boner. She said, "Um, sorry, maybe later and WINKED at me". As I walked back to my girlfriend I was rubbing my dick and I came when I saw she was fingering herself. I couldn't get it hard again until the very moment she left
This made me fucking LOL. answering the door in shorts with a boner.:D:thumbsup:
Damn that sounds like a scene out of a movie. Good work!
Lol, thanks I guess. Those days were the shit. My first little apartment, school, the early stages of an active sex life... Felt good man.
I didn't think the thread would be so full of win. By win I mean epic fails. This has been a really fun thread.
And yeah fanglekia I really cant believe this thread took off so fast and full of fails.
Like, snapped in two. Didn't realize it but half of the rubber was still inside her...Was looking for it and sorta freaking out because I nutted a decent load. Ended up having sex with her again afterward because we thought fuck it, and when I pulled out the half of the condom that broke off was on the end of my dick.
I hope you'll have a good laugh when your sub-human chink-nigger hybrid girlfriend lure you back to her house oneday, got you really really drunk before her nigger boyfriends came in and do you in a multiplesome.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Eat a dick, cunt.
Arsetralians. Guess what aussies rhyme with ???
Pussies.
Lol ... pussy calling a cunt a dick eater.....
You're completely off topic once again in my thread. Stick to the topic or post elsewhere.
LOfuckingL
That sounds like a trick you should perfect, video tape, and/or perform for live audiences.
Leave it, and after many years, call her up and say, "Remember that broken condom we left inside you? Well, I think it's time to dig it out."
Was all drunk and there was no condom. I dunno what I was thinking; the fucking slut.
Did she ever hear of the morning after pill? :mad:
You fucked up your life I hope you know that. There is NO WAY IN HELL you'll be able to afford collage and child support. You'll end up working at burger king your whole life. Assuming you make 30K a year, which is the full time salary working for the king, you'll have to pay $1268 a month; more than half of your money. This does not include bills, mortgage, and possible student loans.
Your woman will have to get a full time job and I hope she knows it. Both of you will end up getting cheap apartments, and furthermore, you'll never be able to afford weed.
Your options,
-Induce abortion
-Leave the country
The crazy thing is that she refuses to adopt. She wants to have the baby. She's also only 18 years old. I tried talking to her telling her that they wont be able to afford it and every time I said it to her she just rolled her eyes around the room. She's insane man. They aren't together anymore either.
She's really being selfish. It's not fair for the child to be raised in less than optimal conditions just because she's stubborn. She must be made to understand that her intrinsic motivations for keeping the baby are selfish and illogical. I'm sure you've already tried doing this, and I hope she can be gotten through to.
That's what me and Jarkof have been telling her. I dunno what everyone else is telling her though. I think she thinks that if she has the kid that somehow her and Jarkof will somehow end up back together and be a happy family or some shit like that.
This.
Lady Rolf: "Uh, no, you didn't..."
Sir Rolf: "Yep".
Thinking of it now makes Sir Rolf smile for if it was recorded, it would been a good case of amateur pornography gone wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abortifacient
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misoprostol
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