awkwardness? — Totseans

awkwardness?

blindbatblindbat Regular
edited July 2010 in Life
why do i feel awkward when i'm at social gatherings? it feels weird like i'm in a place full of strangers , but they're people i know IE: family relatives , friends.:confused: i'm one fuked up person in the head.

Comments

  • muffinsmuffins Regular
    edited July 2010
    I can relate, I hate the social activity of eating together. Like at a family reunion or something. For me eating is an activity that can be done quickly and alone, it doesnt require a fucking set of rules and interaction
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    It's because everyone sucks but you.

    At least how that's I feel. I have to like... try and act normal, and talk about normal things. And I don't know what normal things are, in the sense that I'd rather indulge myself in interesting, outside of the social norm topics, that nobody else in real life has a clue about.
  • AnonymousAnonymous Regular
    edited July 2010
    Take Benzos, you won't have this problem. :p
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    Take Benzos, you won't have this problem. :p

    You'll have quite a bit more though.


    OP it's all about confidence.
  • VermicideVermicide Regular
    edited July 2010
    Yeah I used to have the same problem. I'd say act confident, put a front on and eventually it will basically be true. Self fulfilling prophecy or whatever.
  • HTS-NoobHTS-Noob Regular
    edited July 2010
    My parents are like a weird old couple I share the house with. They're the only people I ever see though, so really I can't comment.
  • SophiaSandboxSophiaSandbox Regular
    edited July 2010
    I've become like this...I used to be confident and fun until I realized i'm a fucking loser and everyone thought I was crazy and ugly :facepalm:
    And everytime I feel like i'm starting to be all confident again, I get punched in the socialface. :mad:

    We can be losers together <insert thumbs up here because someone hasnt given us good smilies yet :mad:>
  • AnonymousAnonymous Regular
    edited July 2010
    You'll have quite a bit more though.


    OP it's all about confidence.

    I disagree as long as you have a steady flow of them coming. :o
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    I disagree as long as you have a steady flow of them coming. :o

    Well, you'll have them, but you won't care, nor will it matter anymore because you just bought some more! :D
  • abusernameabusername Regular
    edited July 2010
    To get over social anxiety/awkwardness, expose yourself to what you are afraid of. Make yourself have conversations with the people you feel awkward around, put yourself out there, even if it makes you feel like a ass.. Strengthen your mind through exposing it to what you are afraid of.

    I used to be shy as fuck and always feel awkward around people, but if you keep trying and keep exposing yourself to your fear, you will get over it eventually. Took me about a year of really putting myself out there and trying to be as social as possible.

    And don't listen to the idiot in this thread who says take drugs. Drugs are never the answer unless you have a severe mental illness like schizophrenia and can't function without them.
  • ScoobyScooby Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    I used to be shy/awkward. But then I started going to raves where the environment is super chill and now I'm a social butterfly... at least when I want to be. I don't do well in crowds of tools. Just go out there and party party party. If you have to- take drugs to get yourself used to the situation then learn to just deal without them after a while.
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    What IS a "rave"? Sounds like a bunch of retarded teenagers throwing their hands in the air like they just don't care, or something. ???
  • ScoobyScooby Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Raves are just parties that go all night long where the focus is on dancing more than beer pong... and the common age group of the raves that I go to are 18-32.
  • Tommy LundTommy Lund Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    Take Benzos, you won't have this problem. :p

    Actually, a small daily dose of certain antidepressants can help towards social anxiety without the need for heavy benzos. Gradually becoming better and better in social situations. Talk to your therapist about it.

    But yea. Benzos would help. :p Benzos always helps.
  • edited July 2010
    A psychiatrist told me that the reason I don't have friends is that loss and rejection have gotten me to a point that I'd rather be alone than risk it. I don't know what to think, though. I don't live this way because I want to be alone (I can't fucking stand being alone all the time every day, it makes me want to blow my head off), and I'm not awkward or anything once I get talking and friendly with someone, but it never gets to that point. I'm a nice, handsome guy (People have cited these numerous times as to why I shouldn't have problems socially), but I have this fucking inhibition or something that keeps me from reaching out or initiating a conversation with someone.
  • Tommy LundTommy Lund Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    As a recovering alcoholic, this is pretty hard for me to say.

    Go to the pub and get drunk, just sit at the bar and drink. People are bound to talk to you and your inhibitions will most likely go away after a while.

    If you are under the legal drinking age and/or lack a pub this would be rather problematic though.
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    A psychiatrist told me that the reason I don't have friends is that loss and rejection have gotten me to a point that I'd rather be alone than risk it. I don't know what to think, though. I don't live this way because I want to be alone (I can't fucking stand being alone all the time every day, it makes me want to blow my head off), and I'm not awkward or anything once I get talking and friendly with someone, but it never gets to that point. I'm a nice, handsome guy (People have cited these numerous times as to why I shouldn't have problems socially), but I have this fucking inhibition or something that keeps me from reaching out or initiating a conversation with someone.

    You said it yourself in the very first line, you would rather be alone than risk being rejected/embarrassed or fail in any way. You have an image of confidence in yourself and your social ability (Everyone does) and you would rather be slightly unhappy with yourself and alone than risk having it shattered by someone insulting you or looking down upon you.
  • Oink The PigOink The Pig Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Because you suffer from social retardation, also known as underdeveloped extroversion.


    Basically the opposite of people who have underdeveloped introversion and NEED to be close to people all the time and couldn't spend 1 day by themselves without freaking out.
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    Tommy Lund wrote: »
    As a recovering alcoholic, this is pretty hard for me to say.

    Go to the pub and get drunk, just sit at the bar and drink. People are bound to talk to you and your inhibitions will most likely go away after a while.

    If you are under the legal drinking age and/or lack a pub this would be rather problematic though.

    Really? People will just talk to you if you're sitting alone?

    >_> What's the catch?
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Blunderful wrote: »
    >_> What's the catch?

    They only start talking to you after you're too drunk to notice.
  • ProtopangraphyProtopangraphy New Arrival
    edited July 2010
    Women are the same way when they don't have makeup to put on, so try putting on some makeup and see how that works for you. You could also try wearing a mask. You may also want to wear a full body biochemical hazard suit so that the audience is completely shielded from your physical appearance.
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Actually wearing a gas mask and assless chaps sounds like a good idea.
  • SHANE14SHANE14 Regular
    edited July 2010
    Scooby wrote: »
    I used to be shy/awkward. But then I started going to raves where the environment is super chill and now I'm a social butterfly... at least when I want to be. I don't do well in crowds of tools. Just go out there and party party party. If you have to- take drugs to get yourself used to the situation then learn to just deal without them after a while.

    kinda this. Drugs can be a fucking useful tool, just don't rely on them
  • edited July 2010
    You said it yourself in the very first line, you would rather be alone than risk being rejected/embarrassed or fail in any way. You have an image of confidence in yourself and your social ability (Everyone does) and you would rather be slightly unhappy with yourself and alone than risk having it shattered by someone insulting you or looking down upon you.

    It really has less to do with embarrassment or confidence than you imagine. There are other factors to consider, anyway.
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