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Do pigeons aim...

DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
edited July 2010 in Spurious Generalities
When they take a shit?

Seriously. I was wandering around the city today and there was pretty vacant street with a long telephone line. There was a pigeon on it and it turned around when I was about 4 meters away. I slid a bit into the sidewalk to avoid being under it and....splat.

Fucker shitted all over my face. Looks like a regurgitated snicker bar.
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  • LSA KingLSA King Regular
    edited July 2010
    LOL oh man what I would have paid to see that happen haha. Don't feel too bad though I have been shit on before myself. I swear they do it on purpose and their aim is incredible! I was fortunate enough that it was rainy so most of it was swept away and that I only got hit with about 1/4th on my head and another 1/4th on my shoulder and the other half right on the ground below me. It was the plop on the side walk that made me realize otherwise I would never have known.
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  • mr.bluntmr.blunt Regular
    edited July 2010
    bahaha owned

    I've never been shit on by a bird, but it's come close. One kid at my high school got shat on and lost his shit, started throwing rocks at the bird until he hit it. He then killed it, but was caught on camera and the school suspended him. Awesome.
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  • AnonymousAnonymous Regular
    edited July 2010
    They aim to get the shit right in your hair.
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  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited July 2010
    mr.blunt wrote: »
    bahaha owned

    I've never been shit on by a bird, but it's come close. One kid at my high school got shat on and lost his shit, started throwing rocks at the bird until he hit it. He then killed it, but was caught on camera and the school suspended him. Awesome.

    Win. I should've done that.
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    dfdf.png
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  • MorningsideMorningside Regular
    edited July 2010
    Birds are assholes, I had one shit right on the bottle of wine I was drinking from. There was much rage that day....
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  • AnonymousAnonymous Regular
    edited July 2010
    Morningside wrote: »
    Birds are assholes, I had one shit right on the bottle of wine I was drinking from. There was much rage that day....

    You can't blame them though, if you were in their position you'd know you'd want to shit on anyone you possibly could.

    Hell, I'm contemplating going on a tall roof and taking a shit off of it hoping to hit someone below. Just my luck I'd end up falling off though and dying. :cool:

    "Was that bird shit?" "No thats not bird shit, thats a big brown person shit." "What the fuck?"
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  • MorningsideMorningside Regular
    edited July 2010
    They should also know that by shitting upon me they invite my wrath. If only I had a pellet gun.
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  • AnonymousAnonymous Regular
    edited July 2010
    Morningside wrote: »
    They should also know that by shitting upon me they invite my wrath. If only I had a pellet gun.

    Their shit will get in your pellet gun and they will win. :cool:
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  • MorningsideMorningside Regular
    edited July 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    Their shit will get in your pellet gun and they will win. :cool:

    :mad::mad::mad:
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    Anonymous wrote: »
    Their shit will get in your pellet gun and they will win. :cool:

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  • LSA KingLSA King Regular
    edited July 2010
    Isn't bird shit really toxic? Like the smell can cause your health problems (don't clean out the bird cage) and if it gets in your system you need medical attention? I remember hearing about its toxicity because that's why if you don't clean bird shit off of a car for a long time it literally strips the paint off.
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  • Anal Probe DeluxeAnal Probe Deluxe Regular
    edited July 2010
    LSA King wrote: »
    Isn't bird shit really toxic? Like the smell can cause your health problems (don't clean out the bird cage) and if it gets in your system you need medical attention? I remember hearing about its toxicity because that's why if you don't clean bird shit off of a car for a long time it literally strips the paint off.

    They release nitrogenous waste via their feces (Like urea. I think it's really like a poo/pee mix;not sure). That's why that ammonia smell is there.
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  • Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskin Regular
    edited July 2010
    they do aim. they aim for piles of douche. or jews. which ever one they see first
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  • LSA KingLSA King Regular
    edited July 2010
    Anal Probe Deluxe wrote: »
    They release nitrogenous waste via their feces (Like urea. I think it's really like a poo/pee mix;not sure). That's why that ammonia smell is there.



    That's what I figured. Those fuckers. I love birds for their beauty and hate for making me scatter whenever they fly above me.
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  • 1357913579 Death Cog Machine
    edited July 2010
    Nearly got shit on a few times, last time they made a noise right as they shat, so I looked up and dove out of the way. Missed me by a few feet :mad:
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  • DiacetylmorphineDiacetylmorphine Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Wow reading this thread made me cum.
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