So I just found out how I deal with it, and it's generally not good, especially when stuck at University and none of your "homey" mates are with you.
In short I have been fucking this girl for 8 months or so, and after a great 8 months, I decided to ask and take things further. This girl had put up with me through suicidal moments, happy as fuck moments and anything inbetween. She was the 1 girl I could go to at any moment and be myself.
So after getting her alone from the rabble of housemates downstairs, I was honest with her about how I felt, and that she genuinely was the only girl I had ever truly had feelings for (other than one night stand feelings with some other girls before)...she stared at me and twisted slightly from side to side.
"It's just too little too late" she said.
Too late? Fuck, would you rather me have started dating you as soon as I lay eyes upon you? My brain was racing and she came out with all sorts of bullshit excuses, mentioning other guys she likes and any other shit she could blurt out.
So after an awkward silence in her room she went downstairs and we were all going to a party.
I rushed to the bathroom and puked up a good cupful of blood. My Crohn's has now majorly flared up and I am back on the drugs (lots of opiates and valium I have accumilated since I last had a binge).
So &T, how do you deal with rejection?
Comments
Cherish the moments you had with her and move on.
2. She was lying.
Women love to lie, and they're good at it. She didn't see you as a potential boyfriend, so she made up an excuse: "too little, too late." It's a great one too, cause apparently you didn't have your shit together and you never acted like a bf or tried to take it further during the first 8 months. If you fuck a girl for 8 months and don't ask her to be your gf, it's not going to work. You have to bring it up within the first 2 months usually or it won't ever develop into a relationship. If all you do is have a fuck buddy or casual sex thing going, she's not going to emotionally invest herself in it, so coming out with a bunch of feelings was not a smart move.
She either was lying because she only wanted you for sex, so "too little too late" was just an excuse for not consenting to a relationship, or she wanted a relationship earlier on but you never asked her, so it was too late.
Either way it doesn't matter much so don't dwell on it. To fix the situation: tell her you were high and it was the drugs talking. Continue to have sex until you find a new girl, then quit talking to this one.
Oh she emotionally invested herself in me. We had an almost unspoken relationship where we wouldn't sleep with anyone else (apparently) but we weren't official. It was strange, really.
I'll just follow the quoted section above. Can't believe I still have to go to a gig with this girl next month. Still, she can go with the guy she doesn't shut up about. Time to go partying.
Her response can be explained rather simply. Women become emotionally attached when they fuck. Very few don't. Sometime around the 1-2 months mark she accepted that the relationship wasn't going to progress into something more, and dealt with it. She went through the stages of acceptance, and is prepared to move on. Then you decide it's now convenient for you to have something more, but she's already moved on and isn't interested anymore. You just missed your boat. It's a pretty common fuck friend situation. You can't just expect people to be there when you're ready.
I'd suggest that you get your shit together, stop taking drugs, stabilize yourself emotionally, and be ready next time when someone good comes along.
For me, I'm really good with rejection, because I'm not an insecure pussy. I expect that I'm not always attractive to every woman, my personality might not be their cup of tea, or that they're in a place in their life where their isn't a place for me. It's called being a drug free well adjusted, rational individual.