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Shaving your crotch 101 – A Guide by Male Volence is a Virtue

Found this gem on Reddit. And I am sure most of YOU, yes you get into some problems when shaving your business end. Thankfully this guide will help you make sense of things. Advice is for girls but works on dudes as well.

And yes this is a copy pasta. Deal with it.


  • Hair clippers meant for the crotch region. If you have a big bush or really anything that is longer than a grain of rice, you shouldn’t shave it. You should get clippers and buzz it off before you shave.
  • A bar of soap with scrubby beads in it. Preferably unscented. Other options are getting an exfoliating glove, pad, or even a roughish wash cloth. Ladies, do not use a sugar scrub on your yes zone. Sugar and vaginas do not like each other.
  • A razor you know works with your skin. I personally use a razor by Schick for that area. dedicate this razor for the crotchal area only
  • Baby oil. Yup, baby oil. I Prefer to use Johnson’s baby oil in the scent Shea butter so I don’t smell like a baby. An alternative I just found out is a baby oil gel by the same brand. I think this actually works even better than the baby oil itself, but clogs the razor a little more. Either way, clean your razor very well after using.
  • Witch-hazel. Brand doesn’t matter. You can get a bottle pretty much anywhere (Rite-Aid, Walmart, Walgreens etc.)
  • A light, unscented, designed for sensitive skin, moisturizer. I personally use a knock-off of Cerave’s moisturizer.



  • If, like I mentioned before, your hair is longer than a grain of rice, you’ll need to give your crotch a buzz cut. I recommend doing this over a toilet. Men, I’ve heard that using those on your precious sack could end really badly so I’m not sure if this step is for the friends. Maybe just the top part? Anywho, for the ladies, you can use this all over. Be careful though, the angel can pinch the skin and feel ouchie. Shave up and down and side to side, you can shave down on the lips too but be very cautious. If you want your booty-hole smooth and happy, you can spread eagle in front of a mirror and go to town. Careful around there because the little wrinkles can get pinched easily.
  • So now that you’re staring at the remnants of your old bushy friend, it’s time to flush and step into the shower. Wash your body first. Let the steam relax all the lil hairs. After a couple minutes bust out your exfoliating device. I have a bar of soap with scrubbies. Use that in circular motions (not too hard) all around the mound/top part
  • Slather up with your oil of choice. I always start with the mound by working in strokes with the hair. Usually that means in downwards strokes. Shave everything that can be shaved with these strokes before getting fancy. Continue applying the oil as needed. Once all the hair has been removed by downwards strokes: oil up again, pull the skin taught and go against the grain of the hair. Usually this means upwards. Use a tad lighter pressure when doing this. It’s okay if you bleed a little, but learn from your mistakes on how to be more gentle with yourself but still get the job done.
  • Once you’re out of the shower, pat the area dry with a clean towel and apply your Witch-hazel. This will mostly likely sting a wee bit. IF YOU DON’T PUT THIS ON, YOU’LL BE AN ITCHY MOTHERFUCKER. THE TWO SECONDS OF STINGING IS AN OBVIOUS CHOICE TO A WEEK OF HELL-FIRE CROTCH
  • Apply your gentle moisturizer
  • If you can’t go without wearing panties/undies, wear some that let your lovely junk get a breath of fresh air.

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