Of Biological Warfare, Antisemitism, and Aphrodisiacs

Of Biological Warfare, Antisemitism, and Aphrodisiacs

"Do not go gentle into that good night<br> Rage, rage against the dying of the light"<br> - Dylan Thomas

"A sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" <br> - Arthur C. Clarke

I am the victim of a new kind of crime. A high tech crime. People should know about it before there are more victims. Therefore I have seized on the Internet as a way of getting the word out. The implications of the story I relate here are explosive. So bear with me while I go through the details. If what I say is true, then there are some real bad guys out there, and they have some new technology you should be aware of.

I'm going to ask you to believe 3 things, each harder to believe than the last. For instance, I'm going to tell you I ran into some antisemitism. I should say right now that most Americans that I meet on the job, or when I travel, are not at all anti-semitic. In fact, some are philo-semitic. However, there is a minority of people who definitely have anti-Jewish stereotypes, to varying extents.

I'm also going to ask you to believe that I have a shameful past. This is not so hard to believe, but I'm also telling you that this past was exposed. I came to this conclusion in 1984 in Boston.

I was working in Cambridge, and would hang out a lot at universities, movies houses, bookstores, etc. One day, it seemed to me that the normally friendly young people in the area were acting strangely. Some were looking at me with shocked recognition, some with disgust. Some started saying things. Unfriendly things. I was called a pig, a swine, a Jew, and a Hebe! I was treated as if I had a disgusting past.

The interesting thing was that indeed, I did have a disgusting past.

So naturally It occured to me that perhaps my past had come out somehow. But this led me to ask, could any rumor cause the kind of revulsion that I was seeing? I mean, these people were treating me as if I had crawled out of a sewer.

It seemed to me that more than just a rumor was required. If for instance, my behavior had been caught on film, it would indeed cause disgust and revulsion among viewers, and it would explain everything. What also contributed to this belief was that some of these people did mention a movie, or rather a video.

OK, so you get the picture. I am asking you to believe that somehow my past is caught on film, and seen by a lot of people. Obviously there are some problems with this scenario. First of all, how do you capture behavior that took place mostly in a dorm room or in a private residence, on film? Secondly, if you do, how do you distribute it? Obviously not through video stores, and not with billboards. So how could such a thing happen? Thirdly, where does the money come from to distribute such a movie? And finally, why would anyone be interested in such a movie?

I don't know the answer to these questions except possibly for the last. To the world, I look like a serious studious Jewish man. Not only that, but I've presented strident conservative political opinions at various times in various places. If it turns out that secretly, I am a obscene individual, lacking any pride, any self respect, and drooling over the idea of getting hold of Christian women, (preferably blonde), you can see why such a movie would take off. It would be like "Rocky Horror Show." In fact, one of the things that was said in my presence by one unfriendly guy was that "people are throwing rice at the screen of the movie."

Try believing this for a minute. Think about the implications. Not only how this movie hurts me, but how something like this can happen and you don't hear about it.

The names I've been called included "Pig", "Swine", "Disgusting", "Obscene", and politically incorrect names such as "Jew", and "The Hebe". I was spat at, and told how disgusting I was, and so forth.

Now hold on to your seats, because my story gets even more far out.

The Story:

One day, toward the end of 1994, I came home after work, read a little, opened the windows and went to sleep. Next morning I was feeling good, healthy and ready to take on the day. I went to the fridge. I pulled out a half empty bottle of Poland Spring water.

Then I drank the water.

Immediately all hell broke loose in my body:

I felt like I was on an electric chair.<br> I felt like banging the walls.<br> I got some abnormal feelings in my middle back area and elsewhere.<br> I felt like running around outside in circles like a mad dog.<br> and yet another symptom developed rapidly, this the most incredible of all - my sex drive climbed and climbed and climbed beyond anything I had experienced in my life.

And then it climbed some more.

I threw out the rest of the water. This was stupid.

I staggered down the main avenue of downtown and went to work. But I could not work. Therefore I told my boss I had to leave. I stayed away for a few days. But the symptoms would not go away. My body felt under tremendous stress. At night, I could not sleep. My sex drive was really unbelievable. It was so unbelievable that obscene thoughts constantly crowded into my mind. Anything that moved became a sex object. I was swamped with physical and mental sexual phenomena. And in general I felt awful!

I had obviously consumed an aphrodisiac. And not just any aphrodisiac. This was industrial strength. This was big time. This was a generous helping of aphrodisiac - enough for a crowd.

This aphrodisiac affected me every waking moment, and prevented sleep. If I took sleeping pills, it still got me - my very dreams were affected.

It was like a bad science fiction story, but it wasn't fiction.

O.K, you say skeptically, you had an "experience". But its over. So why worry?

I didn't get off so easy.

Its not over.

The various symptoms lasted and lasted. They are not as bad as that first day, but they are still, very bad.

To me, this is the hardest thing to believe. But read on.

In the first few months the drug made me really miserable. To describe accurately what I felt is tough. Partly I had to cope with the symptoms I mentioned above. But the symptoms did not seem to be just mental.

My body steadily went down the tubes. There was a characteristic set of unpleasant somatic feelings, which are hard to describe and which started that day in 1994, and also made my life miserable. They are still with me today.

I used to be a relatively healthy and fit individual. But from 1994 on, I've watched my body deteriorate. There's been a constant feeling of discomfort (mentioned above) and in addition, I developed aching in some of my joints. I've lost weight. I've drastically lost strength. I drop things constantly. I forget things constantly. Thats really scary. For instance, if you give me something to hold, and distract my attention, I have a good chance of dropping it. And if I am talking about something and you distract my attention, I am likely to forget what I was talking about. At work, the forgetfulness makes me repeat things that I've just done, or forget where I put things a few minutes ago. In early 1994, none of this was a problem. I had a firm grip, both physically and mentally. And I am less than 40 years old, so lets not give me bullshit about natural aging.

Apart from the sexual symptoms, the aching joints, weakness, and some other impairments seem to be with me for good. (Thats really too bad. I had hoped to cycle France and Switzerland, Northern Montana and Southern Utah, and hike the Andes and the Himalayas. Thats going to be a lot harder to do now.)

Now lets look at alternatives to my wild story.

1.I had some kind of Hormonal imbalance<br> 2.I have Mental illness <br> 3.I experienced a normal phenomena that I'm violently exaggerating <br> 4.I am a victim of Biological Warfare

First, hormonal imbalance hypothesis:

I went to an endocrinologist, who told me

a) that hormonal imbalance could not explain my symptoms, and b) that he actually knew of drugs that can act as strong aphrodisiacs! (He then warned me of the dangers of paranoia.)

Despite what this endocrinologist says, I looked through the scientific literature, and have found no convincing articles showing that aphrodisiacs do exist. (Of course, I'm now sure they do).

Second, mental illness hypothesis:

As far as mental illness goes, have you ever heard of a mental illness that starts when you take a drink? Or one that acts as a perpetual aphrodisiac?

I cannot exaggerate the violence of my bodies reaction to drinking that water in that fateful day in 1994. It was beyond exaggeration. The suddenness, and the violence of it. The contrast between the way I felt before I drank it, and the way I've felt for years since. I've told this to people, but it doesn't seem to get through to them. They like the 'nervous breakdown' or 'mental illness' hypothesis. That way they don't have to take a large step over an unknown void of uncertainty. That way they can go back to sleep.

Third hypothesis, Its just Normal phenomena:

Trust me. It isnt.

Forth, "Biological Warfare".

The major problem with this idea is that the effects have lasted so long. But if I am a victim of biological warfare, (as anyone would agree who had experienced even 5 minutes of the aftereffects of that drink), then there are 2 possibilities.

1.There is a large reservoir of drug in my body that is decreasing as time goes on <br> 2.There is a source of production of drug in my body.

Follow my logic: Most drugs cannot last more than a day or two. There are drugs that do last years, but those are in released slowly from implants (such as Norplant). Maybe someone invented a method of administering drugs in some slow release form orally.

Another possibility: Infections do last long. An infection of Lyme disease, for example, can go on forever, if not treated. Suppose, that some microorganism was modified to produce a substance that could affect you biologically. Suppose that microorganism could be introduced into your body.

I went on that assumption, and tried to take antibiotics in an attempt to kill the infection if thats what it was. It did not work, but since I can't try out the various kinds of antibiotics without a prescription, I can never really know if it would work. I am desperate, but perhaps not desperate enough. Life goes on, I resume my job routines etc. and adjust to my new state of constant discomfort, fluctuating sex mania (especially at night), and physical and mental degeneration.

If someone came to me with this story, I would point to the obvious holes in it. I would say to him:

1. Assuming someone drugged you, no drug could last so long

2. I've never heard of any drug that could raise someone's sex drive, and surely if there were such a drug, it would be common knowledge.

3. In the real world, people don't develop secret drugs that act as drastic aphrodisiacs, then climb up your balcony at night to enter your window and put the stuff in your drink. Even a science fiction writer would not write a story so wild and insane.

Lets start with #3. In June 96, the papers reported on several individuals on Long Island who were caught planning to do awful things to politicians that they disliked. What were they planning to do? John Ford and his lunatic pals were planning to break into the houses of these politicians, steal a few things to make it look like a break in, and put toxic radioactive substances in the food of their victims!

Hard to believe, but it was in the papers. That story is almost as crazy as mine.

I believe I am a victim of somebody technically competent, but with a devious hate filled mind like John Ford's.

Lets "pretend" that what I say is true, and if anything, an understatement of what has happened, and see what the implications are:

What do I think has happened? How do I explain what is going on? Well, a small percentage of human beings are sadists, and I must have attracted their attention. What they did to me had a sort of weird symmetry. If you look at what started this, it was the fact that at one point in my life I was indeed a pig (though I think I have some excuses). I was exposed, and I was told by various people just how disgusting they thought I was. So I made a loud fuss about being treated that way, and I also made a loud fuss about the antisemitism that I was witnessing, and I even lectured people on how many worse "swine" are out there in the USA (and so it was unfair to pick on me). I became an obsessed pest. And so somebody decided that I needed special treatment. And they hit me with this.

So what?

First, suppose that there are aphrodisiacs that really work. Suppose some people know about them but that they are not common knowledge. Think what social damage these drugs could do. If morality is defined as self restraint, then let me tell you, from experience, this drug overcomes restraints. It can be fought, by a victim who really wants to fight it, (I fought it) but I can think of situations where this would tip the balance of people's behavior. Its a really powerful drug.

Secondly, it means that some very unpleasant people have access to technology that the rest of us don't even know exists.

Thirdly, and most incredibly, you can put something in someone's water and make them sick for years. Why would someone do this? After all, if you are going to the trouble of getting at someones food, you can put some arsenic in it and just kill the guy. No need for a drug that just makes him perpetually sick. Well, I am not a student of evil minds, and I don't know how they work. I do know that what was done to me was extremely unpleasant.

I have gone to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and they sensibly asked me to produce the Poland Spring water. I couldn't.

So I'm putting up this, which is like a paid advertisement to the world saying "I am a lunatic". I hate being seen in that light, but doing nothing is also quite frustrating.

So what should you do about it? It depends.

If you have no idea who I am, then I don't know what you can do about it.

Some of you, who know about the scandal in my past, may be able to piece together from this web page who I am. If you have any concrete proof of my past (the VIDEO, for instance), it would help. I would not ask you to get involved in any way that attracted publicity. And I would pay you $25,000 for evidence.

If I can offer concrete proof of any part of this crazy story to the FBI, I may be able to convince them to look into it further. In fact, the only hope I have that anyone will believe this story is that they have some knowledge of my past history, which in itself is such a crazy story that they might take the attitude that reality can be stranger than fiction.

Its interesting for me to be in a situation where I am trying to convince people of something, based totally on subjective evidence, that I would not believe myself.

I guess the issue with believing this is how do you distinguish between a crazy person telling a crazy story, and a sane person telling a story that sounds crazy but isn't. After all, you never took this drink, you never experienced its results, and further some of the things I claim seem to be simply impossible, such as the existence of a half bottle of drug that lasts years.

I suppose the average guy who has read this web page would come to the following conclusions:

1.The author has mental illness that has given him paranoid ideas about hostility of others

2.The author has had some unusual experiences, no doubt generated by that same mental illness.

3.The author is drawing paranoid conclusions from these unusual experiences

These are the conclusions I would draw. But having been through this, I can say that these conclusions are false.

Its an amazing situation! You, who read this, are going to dismiss this page as the rantings of a kook! And anyone who does take this halfway seriously will shrug their shoulders and move on to other things. But thats the wrong response! If the above is true, then the FBI should be hard at work on this, and multiple doctors should be subjecting me to a barrage of tests. Thats obviously not going to happen. But that would be the correct response. Let me put it this way, believing that people are "out to get me", or in fact have gotten me, is not at all paranoid. Its shockingly, violently, true, and it must not slide into the obscurity that the perpetrators are counting on.

As time goes on, the reality of the situation sinks in with me, and that is, that certain things just don't get believed. In life, occasionally people stumble on the 'tip of an iceberg'. Rather than believe there is a huge iceberg beneath the surface, most people try and reinterpret their perceptions in more comforting familiar ways. Most of the time, that is the way to go. But in rare cases, when there really is something there, people just don't have a clue. Einstein once said "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler". I could paraphrase him "Everything should be made as sane as possible, but not saner."

But lets get practical. Suppose you believe me. What on earth can you do about this story? Well, first of all, you could show this website to others. Especially to people who were students in Boston universities in the period 1982 through 1984. And students at Yale and SCSU (Southern Connecticut) in the period 1992 thru 1994. These are the people most likely to have heard about the movie. Then, you could contact me, and I would put you in touch with the FBI people that I talked to, or if you did not want to do that, I would have you talk to my brother. It might seem macabre of me to want my relatives to know about this, but ultimately I can't handle this alone. If you want to do something worthwhile, I would say that helping me qualifies.