More Notes on How to Annoy Someone
by Shooting Shark
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There are three things you
need on someone in order to really
annoy them. They Are:
1> Real Name (or at least family name)
2> Address
3> Phone #
How to get this data:
As The Rocker said in an earlier file,
the loze will often post his home fone
when he wants to trade wares. If he
doesn't, leave him e-mail saying you have
the wares he wants, and to please leave
you his #. As a last resort, if you know
the sysop reasonably well, ask him for the
number of the loze (all lozes use their
real numbers when logging onto a system,
remember?)
Once you have the number, do a CNA on it.
This will get you the name of the person
who pays the phone bill at the house.
(Although the A in CNA stands for Address,
they don't do that any more.) So call
the "Customer Service" number of your local
BOC and say,
"This is <name from CNA> at xxx-xxxx (lozes
fone number). I didn't get my last bill.
I think it might have been sent to my
partners residence. Could you tell me the
address you have?" <or something>
copy it down as she says it. If you miss
it, just say "hold on, I think I recognize
it. Let me get a piece of paper..." she'll
wait, then read it to you again...voila...
you've got all the data you need.
(More customer service sabotage)
"Hello, this is <name> at <loze's number>.
I'd like to cancel service on my line."
She'll ask you your address, which you
have from the above step.
Card-free harrassment
Let's face it, some of us don't prefer
to card things. There are plenty of ways
to have stuff sent to the loze's house
without having to crawl in a trash can
for a carbon first.
Columbia House will be glad to sign them
up for membership. He'll get 13 free
albums for 1 cent. Make sure and select
stuff like "Niel Sedaka's Greatest Hits",
"Tommy Dorsey Live", etc.
When you get your publisher's clearing
house or similar thing, sign up for 4
magazines and change the address to the
loze's address. Whenever you see a pullout
card to subscribe to a magazine, for crying
out loud pull it out and have them send
him a subscription. Next time you're at
Safeway, just go through all the "Knitting
News" and LHJ magazines and pull out the
cards. Don't send him Vogue, he'd probably
get off on the pictures. Just send him
as many mags as possible, and within 10
weeks he can open a newstand.
What's especially good is those "marines"
cards. Tell them he's 18 and just
graduating from high school, and they'll
call him as well.
Call your local KKK branch (or get an
address from a KKK bbs) and order about 20
"KKK and proud" bumper strips. Put on
loze's car (or his parent's car).
Call when he's at school. When his mom
asks who's calling, say "Mr. Krack-Man"
or "Bioc Agent 003" or someone else
famous. Or say "PacTel Security" and
if she asks why, tell her: He's been
making illegal phone calls...this is
a little drastic and not my style,
though.
More things to say to mommy (or daddy)
"He threw a rock at my cat and we had
to put the cat to sleep"
"Ask him if he still wants that pot"
"Suzy says that he got her in trouble"
Of course, if his parents are under-
standing, he'll be able to convince
them that it was a joke...eventually...
Next time you're on The Source, send
him 100 mailgrams. They should each
say something like "you're such an
asshole I can't believe it" and be
"from" someone they're friends with,
like the sysop of their favorite
board. If they're not too intelligent,
this might give them a nervous
breakdown, though.
Put Call Waiting on his data line
Take touch-tone off his line. He'll
wonder why his calls aren't going
through.
If he's a "wanna-be" phreak and asks
you about hacking programs, be nice
and write him one...one that, after
hacking 30 or so numbers, starts
calling London Recorded Time
(011-441-246-8255), 911 (which has
ANI), then COSMOS (which also has
ANI)...this is called a Revenge Hacker
and is not my idea. Again, it's a
little drastic.
Have a few pizzas delivered to his
house. While you're at it, also
send some "escorts", Roto-Rooter
men, Fire Engines, Cops. Prefer-
ably all on the same night...
(Note: when sending police, just
say something like "My house got
burglarized last night", not
something like "I think there's a
robber in my bedroom". They might
come with thier rifles and tear
gas, and remember, we just want
to slightly annoy this person, not
get him killed.)
If the person you want to annoy is
a Sysop:
Cancel his service (see above)
put call waiting on his line (also
see above)
Put his address on his own board.
That will really bother him...
Well, that's it. Now Remember, I
neither advocate nor practice the
above mentioned activities!!!
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