Being made redundant? Get payback!
by Joe Ryding
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Angry at being made redundant? Then payback is due! This will only work if they give notice that you're being sacked. If not then this is useless!
1. Take a note of the Chairman of the companies direct phone number and email. Ring him from a payphone or set up a free email account at a library and tell him exactly what you think of his rotten company.
2. Get some pens that don?t work and on your final day when your boss is out slip the pens into his desk and take all the good ones for yourself. For added effect steal his staple remover and snap his pencils in half.
3. Raid the stationary cupboard over a number of days, take anything of worth and take it home. Hey presto! Free stationary!
4. On your final day steal take all of the toilet paper in the store cupboard out and take it with you. If it's a Friday then the employees will come in on Monday and need a dump, they will get in the cubicle and hopefully dump their load before they realise that there is no toilet paper.
5. Format the hard drive of the computer you use. The next person to use it will be annoyed when it doesn't work.
6. Stamp chewing gum into the carpet.
7. 'Accidentally' spill a cup of tee all over the desk of that employee you never liked. For added effect do it when he has some important work on his desk!
8. Write down everything that's bad about the company on some paper and tape it to the bottom of your desk drawer so that if you ever need a reminder as to why you are enacting revenge that will be it.
9. Report the company for ANY illegal activity that you know they're participating in. Even if its something as trivial as copying software to give to employees they will still get fined and you'll feel much better.
10. Break the toner in the printer.
11. Photocopy your arse on the photocopier 100 times. Then leave it in a place so after you leave it will be found. Or better yet use the companies post to post it to all the employees of the company, using another name of course!
12. Abuse the companies Internet. Go on whatever the hell you want!
13. Take long lunches and leave early.
14. Put a stink bomb in the air conditioning when there is an important meeting scheduled.
15. In those final few days, work starts when you want it to!
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