What to do on a Clear Summer Night

by Cablecast 0perator and Pyro Maniac

Ya! School is finally out! It's a warm 70 degrees with no wind, the stars are bright, and the moon is full -- not a cloud in the sky! Since the BBS's aren't able to be logged on to until after everyone is asleep, why not get a friend or two and go outside?

What You Need

35mm Camera

Lots Of Film!

At Least a 230mm Lens

Infra Red Filter (if applicable)

Video Camera or A Camcorder CCD Helps-You Won't Have 30 or 40 Footcandles To Operate a Newvicon With! Try 8mm, It's Small Enough.

Binoculars

40x Telescope (35mm Camera Attachment Helps!)

Shotgun Microphone (Or Any SPY-Mike type pickup)

Walkie Talkies (With Earphones!!)

Dark Clothing (No Jams)

Lighters (Matches SUCK!)

Firecrackers, Bottle Rockets, and Just General Explosives

Moby Flashlight Ya'know, With A Flourescent, and A High Beam And....

BB Guns (Pump or CO2, as long as they don't make a lot of noize!)

Remote Controller For Cable Boxes On Your Block

You might want to have a backpack dark in color to stuff all of this in!

During Daylight Hours

Scout out the storm drainage system underneath your block. This will be beneficial later. Steal some steel rods about 4 feet long from a nusery or someplace like that and hide them near each manhole cover. Draw a map of, or memorize the sewer system so you now where you are going in the dark!

Find all the bedrooms of the good-looking chicks on your block, or at least the ones with big tits. Also find bushes, or a place to hide a moderate distance away from their bedroom window. Far enough not to be seen, close enough for the 230mm lens or the telescope. Draw a map or memorize.

Plot escape routes or places to hide incase someone comes out a door, or a car drives by. These will be more important than you think.

But most important of all, you should memorize the bowels of your neighborhood, so you know where you are going when ther is little or no light.

Now It's DARK!!

Wait until it's really dark and get your dark clothes on and don your backpack. Get your friend(s) and let's go! Sneak around for a while if this is your first time, and get to know everything in the dark. Get that map of where to hide and look in windows. Go to some place and try it out. If no one is getting ready for ed yet, see waht they are having for dinner. Eventually, they will have to go to bed! We've pulled some all-nighters, but it's paid off! You might want to bring aloksome food and have a snack while you wait.

About 9:00 or so, everyone is watching TV. All the cable boxes on our block are rigged for remote controllers. And guess who has a spare? You guessed it! The same guys with the black backpack! It's a real blast changing channels on them or turning the power off or the volume up! You will have to get almost up to the window for some remotes. Be careful. This is especially effective if the TV set comes on at 3:00 AM!

Still got your BB gun? Pump it up around 5 times depending on how far away you are and how powerful your gun is. Now aim at the post lamp or the light above their garage or door. Have you ever seen a 300w incandescant bulb explode after being hit with a BB? If a squirrel scares the shit out of you, waste him, too.

Grab some money. Because now we're going to 7-11! Ditch the backpack in an out of the way place where nobody can find it when you are going in to 7-11. The How To Rob A 7-11 article would be especially helpful here.

Find a way onto everyone's roof making as little noise as possible. You get a great view of evryone else's second story window from up here!

Lots of times on our block, the chicks that live here bring their boyfriends over and make out on the back porch. Whip out the shotgun mike and make tape of it, use the CCD or 35mm to 'Capture The Memories', and when you're sick to your stomach, scream some vulger terms or launch bottle rockets at them.

Oh Boy! GARBAGE NIGHT! People have to mow their lawn in the summer, right? Well, at least some people do! I know I don't! Grass is put into what? GRASS BAGS! What do the garbage men do with these? They just pick them up and sling 'em in the back of the truck. Wouldn't it be a shame if there was a hole in the bottom of the bag made with a knife and the grass went all over the curb? I guess you get the hint!

Have you ever stolen a garbage can? Makes the old people on our block REALLY pissed! I guess they have a passion for garbage cans! Metal ones are a lot easier to crush and hide in the woods than plastic, though. But have you ever heard an M80 go off in metal can? More or less a Hefty bag? Not as tough as they say! Still got a metal can that you stole? Cut the bottom out and then take it to a house with another metal can. Place yours down on the street and don't move it. Transfer all the trash from the good one into yours. Now steal the good one and wait for garbagemen to try and pick up the trick can! Ha-ha!

This last one you will have to be real careful with! Even we don't like to do it that much, but it can be done! Sometimes, the dumb neighbors leave their sliding glass doors open to ventilate the house and then forget to close them when they go to bed. Hungry? This gives you access to the kitchen! Don't stop to make a sandwich, just take all the lunchmeat and run!