A Practical Guide to Kidney Theft
by The CID
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DISCLAIMER: The CID and totse.tom do not encourage/condone the act of kidney theft. This document is solely for the purpose of entertainment and/or education on the subject. Organ theft is a serious crime, in fact it's one of few "crimes" that are plain evil! I have never stolen bodily organs and never would. What you do with this information is your choice and not the responsibilities of the author.
First you must find a 'mark', this is easy; just hire a hot chic to seduce some poor bastard and spike his drink to render him unconscious. Tell the woman to get him to rant a hotel room with a bathtub(this is where she'll knock him out). There are plenty of files on "knock out drops" and other poisons like that on the net.
After he's out it's time to get to work. The kidneys are located between the hips and ribs on the lower back. The incisions must be made on the back. Have someone with medical experience or at least anatomy knollege do this.
Sew up the incisions and prepare an ice bath in the bath tub. Make sure you run cold water with the ice and place the mark's legs and arms and head are not submerged so he doesn't drown or freeze. The ice will protect the incisions and kill the pain.
Leave a note on the mirror explaining that you stole one/both of his kidneys (at least leave him one for god's sake!) were stolen (apologize while your at it you sick, sadistic fuck!) and that he must call 911 immedietly!
And of course you must take care of the kidneys. I suggest wrapping it in two to three layers of plastic wrap, putting it in a plastic bag and suck the air out but don't suck too hard or you will damage the merchandise! Put it in a cooler with ice. Your kidney...ahem...THE KIDNEY YOU STOLE, YOU SICK FUCK, is now ready to be sold.
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