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How to Score Free Booze
by steve budget
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This was the best thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. Free food and free booze. What else do I need to say to sell you on this? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Here is the step by step process on how to scam.
The first step is to register on-line at Johnnie Walker.com. It will tell you the dates, the hotel, and the time. You can even bring a guest. I went to the Double Tree in Philly. All you have to give is your name, and e-mail for conformation.
Next you need to prepare. I recommend fasting for a couple hours to make room. The only lame thing is you have to dress business casual, but that’s the price you pay for free booze. After you arrive and sign off with the registration lady, you go to a big room with appetizers (yes, there are vegetarian eats for you dirty hippies) and a bartender. Eat and drink as fast as you can.You only have half an hour. And remember, just cause the drinks are free, doesn’t mean that you don’t tip the bartender.
Soon you are herded into an auditorium. Each seat has five shot glasses filled to the brim, a pencil, and a place mat. Then some old broad does a little powerpoint presentation on the history of Johnnie. After that she goes into the specifics of each shot, and the region of Scotland. With each region, you do a shot. (You are supposed to write the trivia down on the Johnnie Walker place mat, but I was too lazy, and now I don’t remember any of it.) By the 3rd shot, people start to try to steal the shots from the empty seats around them, and they start to heckle the broad. The broad is way too slick though, and she busts their balls right back. It’s really funny.
On the way out they give you a Johnnie Walker pin, and a free sample bottle of Scotch. By this time you will have a decent buzz going on. Then its time to head to the bar for a much needed chaser.
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