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The Civil Service Practice Test Scam
by Steve budget
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I decided to turn to the City Paper again, since it was right in front of me. You would think that I would have learned my lesson by now, but that’s just not my style. I saw an ad that said for $75 dollars, I could get information and practice tests for the Civil Service Exam. I was so pleased with myself. Think about those idiots that joined the reserve. Instead, they could have just paid less than a hundred bucks, and got a high score that way. You see, I don’t have to kill people or be smart to get ahead in life, I just need $75 bucks! (Note for those of you who don’t know how the government job operates. You see, first you take an exam for a certain job. The highest score gets the job. Ex-military get automatic extra points. Why do you think tollbooth operators always seem so shell-shocked?)
Right then and there, I decided that I wanted to be a mailman. (No, not a "postal carrier", shut up and shave your armpits.) I figured that my life would be pretty much like Charles Bukowski’s 'Post Office'. You know, drink whiskey, get a new shack-job every week, deliver mail. And I look great in uniform. Especially blue, it brings out a heavenly, but not fey, hue in my eyes. All in all I would look fairly dreamy.
So I called the number, and this really nice guy took my information. I gave him my name, social, and address. Then he asked me for my check routing number. “That way I can take the money over the phone instead of waiting for your check to come by mail.” He seemed really adamant that this was a good idea, so I read it to him. Zip, I’m $75 dollars broker. He said it would take six to eight weeks to come in the mail. Well, it’s been about seventy-two weeks now, and I still haven’t got it. Sometimes I get the feeling that it isn’t coming at all.
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