Smoking for the Future

by Nick Myra

Cigarettes are a plague on society, causing many a slow and agonizing death. Yet many people around the world continue and increase their tobacco consumption. I believe there has to be a logical explanation for this mass hysteria. If it weren’t for the miracle of television, I would have never stumbled over this conspiracy. Here’s what THEY don’t want you to know. Please keep in mind that I am only half serious.

The average pack of cigarettes contains many dangerous chemicals. These include benzene, carbon monoxide, carbonyl sulfide, and polonium 210. It’s all toxic shit that we have been/are releasing into the environment. Pesticides, carcinogens, and even some radioactive goodies. We will call this fact #1.

Repeated exposure over long periods of time to a poison builds resistance. It may not always be the case but many times are cells build a resistance to small amounts of hazardous substances. Immunizations are a great example of this. Fact #2.

I smoke. My father smokes and so did his biological father. Probably way back to my great, great granddaddy. That’s a lot of generations right there. My kids and their kids might too. After generations of exposure to this stuff, the kids will be eating it like candy. Hell, it’s probably a good thing, being as we are not stopping the pollution of earth any time soon.

Smoke’em if you got’em! 12/9/02