September 11th Drinking Game
by Berkeley Undergrad
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Gather round, you sick drunks and punks, it's time to drown your sorrows and play the September 11th Drinking Game! This game is all the rage in the dorms at U.C. Berkeley, and if you know the rules you can play too!
First, get half a dozen of cases of your favorite beer. Get glasses for everyone, and fill 'em up. Then turn on your TV and tune into any of the 24 hour news networks.
Each person takes a drink whenever a certain thing happens on the news network, starting with the person sitting on the far right of the television and proceeding clockwise around the room. If you aren't sitting in a perfect circle, figure out some drinking order that makes sense and use it.
Everytime the news anchor or reporter says a "key phrase", the person who's "it" takes a drink, and the next person in the circle waits for the next "key phrase."
When you finish your glass, refill it at once! If you miss a chance to drink because your glass is empty you'll receive a "double drink" penalty and must consume double the amount you missed.
If it's your turn and you miss a "key phrase" and someone notices, you have to chug the remainder of your glass.
Here are the key phrases:
Anytime anyone on TV says "9-11", take a drink.
Anytime anyone on TV says "terrorist", take a drink.
Anytime anyone on TV says "cave", take a drink.
Anytime the letters "WTC" show up on the "text crawl" at the bottom of the screen, take a drink.
Anytime the word "Afghanistan" shows up on the "text crawl" at the bottom of the screen, take a drink.
For FOX viewers: Anytime Geraldo Rivera appears to do a "news report", everyone in the room must raise their glass, yell "Here's to tabloid journalism", and chug the remaining contents of their glasses.
Anytime George Bush appears and misuses or scrambles the English language, everyone in the room must raise their glass, yell "Here's to graduating with a C- average", and chug the remaining contents of their glasses.
Last person standing wins the game.
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