Drug Testing - Beating Them the Best You Can

by Rawtoxic

Many of ours livelyhoods (jobs) and freedom (parole & probation) depend on passing a drug test from time to time to keep these things we cherish, we may also want to keep our friendly drug habit. Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too.

I write in cluster form so everything may not come in logical order, seems like most of us here won't really mind.

First off, distinguish the difference in tests... Instant tests are EASY, GS/MS (Gas Chromatography / Mass Spectrophotometry) or lab are harder, and to be honest I have no advice/experience to offer for hair and blood tests.

For your information, I have been drug tested due my decision to grow pot and my former friends decision to snitch me out. But that is not what we are here to talk about. If you ever think about snitching maybe you should consider the what will happen to you. My former friend was taken for a 'ride' by a very well-hung black man. So he didn't really 'save his ass' very well.

I enjoy smoking dope, popping pills, maybe something else from time to time, but jeopardizing my freedom for it is a big risk to take.

As others have mentioned, drugs tests are testing for drug metabolites not the actual presence of drugs. They test for a defined level of metabolites present in your piss, your goal is to make your sample below this level.

I've smoked heavily on a Friday night and passed an instant drug screen on Monday afternoon. Dilution is key to instant drug screens. One gallon of water will work wonders for instant tests. If you have more than two days to prepare for an instant test you can easily pass using dilution.

Dilution is your enemy in lab or GS/MS tests since most labs test for dilution by checking creatine levels. Mosts places considered too low of creatine a negative test and you will be in trouble or not hired. My personal outlook if I knew I were going to probably fail a lab test would be too dilute heavily and deal with the fact creatine was below the normal level and have no drugs show up. It's your choice to make though.

Remember learn as much as you can about your drug test. Will you be watched? What type of test is it? Pay attention to standard procedures if you will going often. You can find weaknesses in their systems. Ask people who have gone their before you will be suprised what you can know. Even knowing where the person watching you will be standing can be very benificial. BE CREATIVE.

If you are not going to be watched, plan on definately substituting some sort of urine it is fail-safe and easy, why risk it when you don't have to? If it is instant test you could use hot colored watered and get away with it, I've seen over 10+ instant tests and none have any device to check for real urine. If it is a lab style test sythetic urine from a WWW site or a clean friends will work. I am not sure if a lab can detect 'stale' urine so I would recommend using something only a few days old (most centers only collect the samples and ship them to the testers, and they may sit at the test center a day or two before actually tested). You need to keep temperature in the 91F-98F range, as most places will test this Usually the sample cup has a aquarium type temperature thing on it(some centers use an infrared reader or actual thermometer, the method of reading the temperature does not really effect you just make sure you are within range). Using skiing handwarmers can be helpful in keeping the temperature of a sample high.

I know a girl who goes to a testing center that is mainly staffed by two men and a lady, they cannot watch her piss (by law) so she went as far to learn the typical schedule that the men are working and knows the car the female lady drives so if it is there in the morning she comes back at night. Remember to use everything to your advantage...

Someone I met in a new not so nice goverment funded facility told me a story of breaking to a drug test place to steal his and everyones else's urine since he knew a dirty test meant jail. I am not suggesting do this but it is an option.

If you want you can buy instant drug tests on ebay for around $2.00 each that will be great for expirementing and also confidence boosters for test day. I have had lots of fun with these (see if you pass one high, etc)... Just make sure to follow all instructions.

As for passing supervised, meaing someone is watching you pee tests. I don't know much for you ladies sorry but be creative.

I have done a variety of things in my lifetime to pass tests.

When I was very young I taped a large eyedropper to my penis on the opposite side of where my 'observer' would be standing and filled a small amount of the cup with colored yellow water. This would only work for an instant tests since most instant test only require a few drops of water or as much as 2cm in the bottom of a cup (maybe .25 liquid ounces)...

I have used a product called the wiznator, it is very nerve racking and requires some practice, would not recommend it. It's basically a fake penis would wear, it is a good concept but really scares me to use in front of someone, there is a small noise made when opening the valve and it just does not 100% real..

I do instant tests now and dilution is the way to go, dilution really only takes about a gallon of water over 2 hours and piss a couple times before going for your test. I just take 4 multi-vitamins centrum (if your going to buy vitamins for yellow piss buy B12 or something vitamin B) with my water gallon and my pee is usually yellow. It is usually a wierd tint of yellow compared to normal but I always figure yellow is better than clear..

Have fun