Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride

by leif

I think it started around the time I graduated from high school. I discovered that if I took 6 unisoms (those safe, non-habitforming sleeping pills) I would get a massive body high and sometimes see neat things. It was also really fun to whack off.

The first time I tried it I took about 20 benadryl and went to school. I remember sitting in my english class and seeing the wall paper sort of slide up the wall. It looked pretty cool. But then we had to do this group project where we discussed important issues and wrote down our opinions. They chose me as the 'recorder' of the group and it was my job to write down all the bullshit my group told me to. I was so fucked up I couldn't focus on the paper in front of me. My hand-writing was so distorted I couldn't read it, and to top it all off I would forget what I was writing at least 3 times per sentence. I would write four words and then forget what I was writing about. Then my vision was so blurry it took at least a minute to read the four words I had just written. And I must have looked baked out of my gourd.

Whenever I tried to speak it sounded like I was practically yelling, but in reality my voice was so quiet no one could understand me. So, naturally I didn't say much for the rest of the day. During trigonometry we had to choose partners and do a worksheet full of evil equations that I couldn't read because of my blurred vision. My partner was this girl named whitney who I had this big dumb crush on. She asked me a question about one of the problems and all I could say was, "huh?" She took one look at me and decided I was baked out of my gourd and didn't talk to me ever again. That is all I can remember about that whole day.

For several months I wouldn't touch the stuff again, but every once in a while I would eat a 24 pack of benadryl just for kicks. At the end of my senior year I was a total loser and started doing it every day.

Time lost all meaning. Every friday I would look at the date on my computer and think, "Holy shit! It seems like only yesterday it was monday!" I started stealing pills from my local safeway. Either I was really slick, or they just didn't give a fuck how much I stole from them. My theory is that as long as I bought 1 thing they had no reason to stop me and search my pockets.

At the peak of this aweful trip I would eat a hundred benadryl every day, and it lasted for months. But it didn't matter to me. I was totally content to sit in my room and masturbate all day while looking at free porn on the internet.

But then I started to hear voices. I would sit in my room at night and watch weird patterns fly through the darkness when I wasn't beating off. Then I would hear whispering off in the distance. So of course I listened as hard as I could to hear what they were saying. At first I couldn't make out the words, but the harder i listened, the louder they got, until they were yelling.

There were usually two voices. Mostly they would talk about me and what a pathetic loser I am. Sometime I would hear my parents screaming at me about how I was a worthless peice of shit and that I was sick in the head. (which I was, and probably still am.) Once I even heard my dad yelling that he wanted to kill me.

There were all sorts of other paranoid delusions going through my head too. I think this is partly due to the fact that I live out in the country with miles of cow fields all around me. From about halloween to january 1st I went out and picked mushrooms every day. I fried the shit out of my brain and went totally insane. And now I'm pretty much immune to shrooms. Feed me and ounce of liberty caps and nothing happens.

So after about a year of this I finally eased off on the diphenhydramine hydrochloride and started coming back to reality. I must say I'm quite thankful for the friend who helped me through this. Especially since she met me in the middle of this whole dreadful psychotic episode and didn't abandon me like everyone else did.

I'm not sure if I'll ever fully recover from all those pills I ate. When I finally cleaned out my room there were about fifty to a hundred benadryl bottles under my bed. All empty. A hundred pills in each bottle. And those were just the ones I didn't throw away or try to hide.

So, if you want to try this shit, just remember what happened to me.