totse.com | How to Enjoy a Good Cigar

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Buy cigars ONLY that are kept in a PROPERLY MAINTAINED Humidor. Don't bet that the Tinder Box at your mall knows shit about cigars even though they have a humidor. Try a small Upman cigar from a place like that first. They move more small cigars like that. Never trust a cigar salesman at a mall unless they have a real severe spanish accent. Look for REAL tobacconists in your yellow pages, not the mall.

In Cuba where the best tobacco's are grown for cigars, it is very warm, breezy and humid. Real cuban tobacco hasn't been legally imported into the U.S. since before the Cuban Missle Crisis. Cuban tobacco is good because of the soil and climate. Tobacco grown from "Cuban Seed" appears in ad's but doesn't mean shit in reality.

Drug store cigars contain wood chips and old newspaper and don't qualify as anything but recycling.

If your cigars get dry, hard to the touch. Put a small amount of water in the bottom of a tall jar, put in a hankerchief or something to keep the cigars from getting wet, and put your unwrapped cigars in the jar and put the lid on and leave them for several hours. A smokable cigar should be pliable to the touch, not hard and dry. Don't let water hit your cigars, humid air around them is the key.

The best humidors are made of cedar. A cedar box with a sponge thing in the top works good to keep your cigars enjoyable.

Try using whiskey or other hard liquor as the liquid in your home humidor sometime.

Old dry cigars can sometimes be restored to smokable condition by storing them in a humidor for several hours or days.

How to light a cigar

Unwrap the plastic from the cigar, remove the label unless you are a "wanna be", or if it's too tight to remove.

Feel the cigar. The leaf wrapper should have a certain rubbery quality. Smell it if you want, then put it to your ear and listen, it it's a truly fine cigar, you may hear the violent rantings of a Central American dictator. If you hear Fidel Castro himself, you definitely got a good one!

If it's feels crispy and dry, leave it in a humidor or you will waste it by smoking it because it will be too hot and not enjoyable.

Grint your teeth, (like Clint Eastwood, or like a F14 pilot getting shot off a carrier), and while gently pressing the cigar against your teeth, NOT your lips... firmly bite the least little bit of the tip off, and SPIT IT OUT! Spitting it out is VERY important and should be done with the utmost enthusiam to show respect for the spanish person who hand made-the cigar. Real men spit, aggresively and with dry passion. AND TOWARDS THE GROUND!

Tilt back your head very slightly to keep the smoke out of the eyes and light the end SLOWLY, turning it ever so slightly to ensure EVEN slow start.

Feel free to spit, and SLOWLY puff. DO NOT INHALE! Don't try to knock the ashes off by tapping it like a cigarette. Slowly roll the end on the edge of an ash tray.