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alt.TXT.services Bangkok FAQ 1/2
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
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Alt.Sex.Services Thailand FAQ
A primer on what is happening in the City of Angels.
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Version 1.2 March 1995
Revision History:
Version 1.0a Posted January 24, 1995
First attempt
Version 1.1 Posted January 30, 1995
Fixed typos!
Expanded General Bangkok section
Expanded Money section
Expanded Thermae description
Expanded Nana Plaza description
Expanded Patpong description
Added subsction on escort agencies
Added subsection on Soi 33
Added subsection on discos
Added hotel listing
Added gay bar listings
Divided into three parts due to the length
Version 1.2 Posted March 1, 1995 to alt.sex.services and
alt.sex.brothels
Added info on blow job bars to Patpong
Added tips for saving money at your hotel
Added section on short time hotels
Expanded the description of bars on Soi Cowboy
Added section on how to behave (after several requests to do so)
Clarified massage parlor pricing
Added section on "lady houses"
Added information of interest to Japanese readers
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People ask, what is the deal in Bangkok, Thailand? What
services are offered and how much do they cost?
This FAQ was developed to help answer those questions, and
recognizes that probably less than 1 in 1,000 readers of this
FAQ will ever visit Thailand.
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Contents:
1 General Thailand and Bangkok Info
-- Getting around
-- AIDS
-- Money
-- Guidebook recommendation
-- Hotel list
-- How to behave [This is really important!]
2 Bangkok
-- Patpong
* Sex Shows
* Falling in love
* Blow Job Bars
-- Soi Cowboy
-- Nana Plaza
-- Soi 33 -- Famous artists!
-- Grace Hotel
-- Thermae
-- Massage
-- Discos
-- Escort agencies
-- Short time hotels
-- Lady houses
-- Japanese Clubs
-- Gay Bars Listing
3 Pattaya
4 Phuket
5 Northern provinces
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SECTION 1 -- GENERAL INFORMATION
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PART 1 -- GETTING AROUND
The grid below will help you get an idea as to where things are
located in Bangkok.
The city center is basically located at grid 4B. I have marked
it with an "X"
Sukhumvit road begins at Grid 5E and runs diagonally down to
Grid 6G. The Soi numbers increase as you move away from the
city center. Z marks the spot where Soi Cowboy is located.
Patpong is located just about at the intersection where Grid 5
C+D meet Grid 6 C+D. Look for the letter P.
The airport is way out at well beyond 1D. Look for the letter "W".
: A : B : C : D : E : F : G : H : I : J :
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1: : : : W: : : : : : :
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2: : : : : : : : : : :
------------------------------------------------------
3: : : : : : : : : : :
------------------------------------------------------
4: : X : : : : : : : : :
------------------------------------------------------
5: : : : : Z: : : : : :
----------------P-------------------------------------
6: : : : : : : : : : :
------------------------------------------------------
7: : : : : : : : : : :
------------------------------------------------------
Traffic is as bad as everyone says. Might even be worse.
If you stay at a hotel along Sukhumvit, you can easily walk
between Soi Cowboy and Nana and the Grace Hotel. It is a bit
too far to comfortably walk from Sukhumvit to Patpong.
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PART 2 -- AIDS
AIDS is real, and if you are not smart about it, you are both
stupid and dangerous. Stupid to yourself and dangerous to
others.
Please, please, please, practice safe sex.
If you go to a massage parlor, they WILL require the use of a
condom. Most of the girls who work the clubs also require
them. You have to have second thoughts about anyone who
doesn't.
While on the subject, there is a great restaurant and bar
called Cabbages and Condoms. It is off Sukhumvit Soi 12. It
has a condom motif, and instead of after-dinner mints they
offer after-dinner condoms. If you've ever been slightly
embarrassed by openly discussing condoms, this place will cure
your embarrassment.
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PART 3 -- MONEY
The unit of currency is the baht. The exchange rate hasn't
changed too much in the past 20 years. You'll get between 24
and 26 baht to the dollar. Think of the baht as being worth 4
US cents. Twenty-five baht to the dollar. A five-baht note is
worth 20 cents. A 10 baht note is worth 40 cents. A 20 baht
note is worth 80 cents. A 100 baht note is worth $4 and a 500
baht note is worth $20. Don't worry about figuring out your
currency exchange to the fourth decimal point. Also keep that in
mind when fighting with a taxi driver over the fare. The
difference between a 40 baht fare and a 50 baht fare is 40
cents. Relax. Enjoy.
At virtually every bar, you will be given the opportunity to "run
a tab." Order your drink, and the waitress or bartender will
put a slip of paper in a glass, mug, cup, or something that
sits in front of you. Some places will give you an additional
drink slip for every drink, most just keep adding to the total.
If you are smart, you will periodically take a peek and see
where you stand. This can eliminate unpleasant surprises
later on. I usually look right after my first drink. Then I know
what my drinks are costing. If I buy a drink for a sweet young
lady, I check as soon as they put the slip for that drink in my
cup. Now I know how much the lady drinks are. Now mind you,
we are talking about relatively small amounts of money here.
Is a beer 30 baht or 35 baht? Is a girl's drink 45 baht or 55
baht? I have never been shocked by an outrageous drink price,
so it is not like the "B" joints in the US, where you can sip
on a $2 beer, offer a lady a drink, and end up paying $10 for
some watered-down tea that she downs in a single swallow. I
have never run into a "bottle" scam in a Bangkok bar either.
The exception to all of this can be at the sex shows upstairs
in the patpong clubs. There, check your bill after every
drink. More on that in the Patpong section.
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PART 4 -- GUIDEBOOKS
The best guidebook, in my opinion, is Bangkok Handbook, by
Michael Buckley, Moon Publications. It was first published in
January 1992, and even if you cannot find a later edition, it
is still worth buying. It has an entire chapter on nightlife,
along with maps, and doesn't offer any patently wrong
information. No, I don't make any money if you buy it!
There are other good books, Cityguide:Bangkok by Insight
comes to mind, as does Baedeker's Bangkok, but neither does as
good a job of openly discussing the true Bangkok nightlife.
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PART 5 -- HOTEL LIST
If you are disinclined to spend $10 to $20 on a guidebook, but don't
mind spending a small fortune on telephone and fax charges,
following is a list of hotels in The City of Angels that may or may
not come in handy. I've found that travel agencies are good at
identifying the $225 a night busines hotel like the Hyatt or the
Sheraton, but not so good at finding the $40 a night hotels hidden
on the back sois.
Here is a good strategy for saving some money on hotels while
in Bangkok. Go ahead and make your reservation whereever you
want. The first morninggn you are there, walk around and if
you see a hotel you like, walk in, ask to see a room, and ask
them what the rate is if you check in withing an hour. You may
find them offering you a 50% discount! Don't check in, tell
them you will be right back, and go to your hotel and tell them
you are checking out. If you mention that you are getting a
killer deal somewhere else, they may offer you a discount to
stay. If they offer you a deal, you may want to stay, if not,
leave and go to the other hotel. In any event, you will have
saved some money on your lodging, which you can then use at
night!
The list was reasonably current when last updated in February,
1994 -- but things change, so don't flame me if a phone number
or hotel name has changed.
Can't find a hotel? Try adding or subtracting the words "New"
or "Royal" from the name.
The letters (GH) stand for guest house.
Hotel Phone Address or Approximate Area
Airport 566-1020 333 Chertwudthakas, Rd.,
Donmuang
Airport Bangkok 522-8921 88/117 Viphavadee, Rangsit
Amar Inn 235-7182 1450 Soi Shangri-La Hotel,
New Road
Amari Airport 566-1020/1 Near Airport
Ambassador 254-0444, 8 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
255-0444
Aquarius 286-0217 234 Soi Hatayana, Suanplu Rd.
Ariston 259-0960-71 Sukhumvit, Soi 24
Asia 215-0813-7 296 Phyathai Rd.
Asoke Place 258-3733, 4/49 Soi Asoke (21), Sukhumvit
258-3742
Baiyoke Suite 253-0362-8 Baiyoke Tower
Bangkok Centre 238-4848-57 Rama 4
Bangkok Inn 254-4834-7 Sukhumvit, Soi 11
Bangkok Palace 253-0500-25 1091/366 New Pechburi Rd.
BKK Christian (GH) 233-2206 Silom Rd.
Baron Hotel 246-0250 544 Soi Huaykwang,
Ratchadapisek Rd.
Bourbon St. 259-0329 29/4 Soi 22, Sukhumvit
Boulevard 255-2930 Sukhumvit
Business Inn 254-7981-4 155/4-5 Soi 11, Sukhumvit
255-7155-8
Carlton Inn 258-0471-3
Centaur Inn 237-1405, 488-488/1 Surawongese Rd.
234-9408 Sipraya
Central Plaza 541-1234 1695 Paholyothin,
1/2 way to airport
Century 245-1755 Near Pratunam market
China Town 266-1267-92 Chinatown??
City Inn 252-1552 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Sq.
Classic Inn 255-3988/9 120/51-54 Rachapraprop Rd.,
Pratunam, Phatathai
Classic Place 255-4444-9
Comfort Inn 251-9250, 153/11-4 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
251-0745
Comfort Promenade 253-4116, 18 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd.
253-2876
Continental 278-1596-8 971/16 Phaholyothin Rd,
Near weekend market
CP Apartmentt 234-0991-3
Crown 258-0318-9 Sukhumvit, Soi 29
Crystal 277-8221,3 65 Soi Nathong,
Ratchadapisek Rd, Huay Kwang
Dorchester 270-0904 Pratipat, Soi Kotoey
Dusit Thani 236-0450-9 Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Embassy 279-2641-1 Sapankwai
Eve House 233-0101 18-18/1 Surawongese Rd.
Thaniya Corner
Federal 253-0175 Sukhumvit, Soi 11
First 255-0111-20 2 Petchburi Rd.
Florida 245-3221 43 Phyathai Rd, Siam square
Fortuna 251-5121-5 Sukhumvit, Soi 5
Golden Dragon 589-5148 Near airport
Golden Gate 251-5354 Sukhumvit, Soi 2
Grace 253-0671 12 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd.
Grand Hyatt Erawan 252-9100 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square
Grand Inn 253-3380, 217-8 Soi 3 Sukhumvit Rd.
254-9021-6
Hilton Int'l 253-0123 2 Wireless Rd., Nailert Park,
Ploenchit
Holiday Inn 238-4300 Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Honey 253-0645-9 Sukhumvit, Soi 19
Impala 258-8612-6 9 Soi 24, Sukhumvit Rd.
Imperial 254-0111 6 Soi Ruamrudi, Ploenchit Rd.
In Town 253-5474-5 40/6-7 Soi 3, Sukhumvit Rd.
Indra regent 251-0111, Rajprarop Rd.
252-0111
Jade Pavillion 259-4675-86
Jim's lodge 255-3100-3
Kabana Inn 233-4652, 1147/2-3 New Road, Bangrak
234-7470
Landmark 254-0404 138 Sukhumvit Rd.
Le Meridien 253-0444 135/25 Gaysorn Rd.
Liberty 280-1924 Pratipat Rd.
Madras Lodge 235-6761 92/1, 31/9-10 Silom Rd. Trok 13
Majestic Palace 281-5000 97 Rajadamnern, near UN offices
Malaysia 286-3582 Rama 4, Soi Ngam-Duplee
Mandarin 238-0230-59 Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Manhattan 255-0166, 12 Soi 15, Sukhumvit Rd.
255-0188
Manora 234-5070 412 Surawongse Rd.
Menam 289-1148-90 2074 New Road
Mermaid's Inn 211-8530, 447/2 Sathorn Tai Rd.
211-6017
Mermaid's Rest 253-5122-5 39 Soi 8, Sukhumvit Rd.
Metro 314-4741 New Petchburi, edge of BKK
Miami 253-5611 Sukhumvit, Soi 13
Middle East Sahara 252-5081, 21/22 Sukhumvit, Soi 3/1 Nana
252-8575
Mido 270-0447-8 222 Soi Santisaewee, Pradipat
Miramar 221-1711 Mahachai, at Chinatown
Monohra 271-0880-1 Suriwong Rd.
Montien 234-8060 54 Surawongse Rd.
Morakot 314-0761 New Petchburi, edge of BKK
Narai 233-3350 222 Silom Rd.
Narai Inn (GH) 258-0601 Sukhumvit, Soi 53
New Nana 252-0121 Sukhumvit, Soi 4
New Empire 234-6990 Chinatown
New Fuji 234-5364-6 299-30 Surawongese Rd.
New Peninsula 234-3910-7 Suriwong Rd.
New Trocadero 234-8920-9 Suriwong Rd.
Niagra 233-5783-4 26 Soi Silom 9, Silom Rd.
Novotel Bangkok 255-6888 Soi 6, Siam Square
Oriental 236-0400-20 Silom/Suriwong/New Road
Park 255-4301-7 Sukhumvit, Soi 7
Plaza 235-1760-79
PR Union 437-0420-38
Pradipat 278-1470-8 173/1 Pradipat Rd, Sapankwai
Prasuri (GH) 280-1428 85/1 Soi Prasuri, Dinsor Rd.,
Rajdamnern Ave.
President Inn 255-4230-5 155/14-15 Soi 11, Sukhumvit Rd.
Prince 251-3318 1537/1 New Perchburi Rd.
Princess 281-3088 Democracy Monument
PR Union Inn 439-2311-30 296/1-9 Soi 10, Issaraphap Rd,
Klongsarn
Quality Inn 253-5393 Sukhumvit, Soi 19
Quality Inn 253-7705 Sukhumvit, Soi 9
Rajah 255-0040-83 8 Soi 4, Sukhumvit Rd.
Rajah Palace 277-6331 234 Ratchadapisek Rd. Huaykwang
Rajsubhamitra (RS) 281-3644 Larn Luang, near UN
Rama Gardens 579-5400 9/9 Viphavadi-Rangsit Rd.
Ramada 234-8971-5 1169 Charoenkrung Rd.
Regent Bangkok 251-6127 155 Rajdamri Rd.
Regina 277-5581 1-9 Soonthronsiri, Ratchada-Pisek Rd.
Huay Kwang
Reno 215-0106-7 Rama I, national stadium
Rex 259-0106-15 762/1 Sukhumvit Rd, Soi 32
River City (GH) 235-1429, 11/4 New Road, Soi 24.
235-1431
River View (GH) 234-5429, 768 Soi Panurangsee, Songwad Rd.
235-8501
Rose 233-7695-7 118 Suriwongse Rd.
Royal 224-1907
Royal Asia Lodge 251-5514-6 Sukhumvit, Soi 8
Royal Garden Home 253-5458-62 63/1-4 Soi 3 Sukhumvit, Rd.
Royal Hotel 222-9111-26 2 Rajdamnoen Rd.
Royal
Orchid Sheraton 234-5599 2 Captain Bush Lane, Siphya Rd.
Royal Plaza 234-3091 Naret Rd.
Royal River 433-0300-19 Krung Thon Bridge
Ruamchit Mansion 254-0205-8 1-15 Soi 15, Sukhumvit
Ruamchit
Travelodge 252-5081, 11/1 Soi 10, Sukhumvit
251-0284
Sathorn Inn 234-4110 37 Soi Suksavithaya, Silom Rd.
Shangri-La 236-7777 89 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road
Siam 252-5081, 1777 New Pechburi Rd, (Soi Asoke)
252-5858
Siam City 247-0130
Siam
InterContinental 253-0355-7 Ploenchit/Phetchaburi/Siam Square
Siam Orchard Inn 255-3140-3
Sri (GH) 381-1309, No. 1 Soi 38, Sukhumvit Rd.
381-1662
Silom Plaza 236-0333 320 Silom Rd.
Stella Place 251-8255-8 120/359 Rachaprarop Rd. Phayathai.
Suriwong's 233-3223-5 Suriwong Rd.
Swan 233-8444 New Road
Swiss Inn 255-4522-3
Tara 259-2909-19 Sukhumvit
Tarntawan Place 238-2620-39 119/5-10 Surawongse Rd.
Tawanna Ramada 236-0361 80 Surawongse
Thai 282-2831-3 Prachatipat Rd.
Thavorn house 278-2121 17/33 Ruamsirimitr Soi 3,
Vipavadi Rangsit Rd.
Tina Tower Inn 234-9409, 55/12-14 Soi Wat Suanplu, New Road.
235-8001
Tower Inn 237-8300-4 533 Silom Rd.
Trocadero 234-8920-9 343 Surawongse Rd.
Union Tower 314-1964-73
Victory 233-9060-9 322 Silom Rd.
Viengtai 282-8672-4 Tani Rd, near UN
Wall Street Inn 233-4164-7 37/20-24 Soi SurawongsePlaza,
Surawongse Rd.
Wattana Flat 252-9697/8 19 Soi Wattana (19) Sukhumvit
Welcome Place 234-5402-4 30 Nares Rd. Bangrak
White Orchard 226-0026
Windsor 258-0160 Sukhumvit, Soi 20
Woodlands Inn 235-6640-1 1158/5-7 Soi GPO Charoen Krung
World 314-4340 New Petchburi, edge of BKK
YMCA Collins House 287-1900, 27 South Sathorn Rd.
287-2727
YMCA Hotel 286-2329 Silom/Sathorn Rd.
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PART 6 -- HOW TO BEHAVE
It is a shame that this FAQ needs to have a section with this title,
but the fact of the matter is that a lot of people simply have no
idea how to act when they encounter a place like Bangkok.
The author of this FAQ has been visiting the Kingdom of Thailand for
25 years, and has made a lot of mistakes, and been with friends who
have made a lot of mistakes. Please, park your ego for a few
minutes and learn from the mistakes of others. Doing so will help
let Bangkok remain the wonderful place that it is.
Rule # 1. Laugh and bring toys. If you can't laugh, don't go.
Bangkok
is a great place to have fun, and you have to be willing to laugh to
enjoy yourself. Be prepared to laugh with the girls and to try and
make them laugh with you. You will have a much better time if you
can do this. It may sound stupid, but if you know coin tricks,
sleight of hand, card tricks, or anything similar, practice up
before you go, and you will have the time of your life. I've seen
guys who can make a coin disappear surrounded by 15 or 20 half naked
bar girls as he made coins disappear and reappear is some very
unusual places.
My last trip, I bought some note pads that looked
like huge $100 and $500 bills. Gave them to the bar girls and the
mamasans. Lots of laughs. One of the bar owners in Soi Cowboy
taped one of the large bills directly over the cash drawer. Later
that night, when I fell in love and it came time to pay the bar
fine, the owner shook it off because I had made him laugh. If
nothing else, bring a big bag of individually wrapped candies. Toss
a handful on the stage and watch the reaction.
Rule #2. Make love, not war. Bangkok is a great place to get
blasted. The girls, the music, the girls, the beer, and the girls all
add up to a very intoxicating environment. BUT, if you are a mean
drunk, or like to fight when you get drunk, do us all a favor and
stay home. Go to Bangkok to have a great time, not to have a great
fight.
Rule #3. Don't be a cheapskate. No, you don't have to act like an
oil
worker with money to blow, but keep things in perspective. Bargain
away, but don't insult a bar girl by offering her 100 baht for all
night, or by never buying a girl a drink.
Rule #4. Be nice to the girls. For the most part, these are just
simple
country girls trying to make some money for their families up
country. One of the great things about the Thai women is the fact
that they are warm and friendly. They are not whores in the
American or European sense of the word, so don't treat them like
whores. Treat them like a girlfriend. Treat them with respect. They
deserve it. Don't spend half the night in the bar buying one girl
drinks and they try and take a different girl home. You have just
terribly insulted the first girl in the process. If you go in the
club and buy a drink for girl "A", and fall in love with girl "B",
leave the club for a little while and then come back and buy a drink
for girl "B". This way girl "A" saves "face" and you avoid a scene
(not a scene in front of you, but a scene in the back room betweek
the girls and the mamasan).
I was in a small bar early one evening and there was a terrible
commotion in the back room. Seems a guy had come in every night for
a week and bought drinks and paid the barfine for this one girl.
Then, out of the blue, he walks in and pays for a different girl to
accompany him to the beach for a week. The first girl was trying to
slash her wrists, not out of love, but out of shame because all of
the other girls thought she must have treated the guy "number 10" to
make him choose someone else like that. She had done nothing wrong,
it was simply a case of raging hormones on the guy's part.
Rule #5. Don't be an ugly American (or German or Aussie, etc.)
Certainly, we all like to wave our respective flag. Just don't be a
jerk about it. If you take a moment, you might just find that the
German, Aussie, Brit or Yank on the next bar stool is basically just
a horny dude like yourself, and if you buy each other a few beers
you might find you've got a lot in common. Over the years I have
gained many "best friends for life" whose names I never learned and
who language I couldn't speak. We all share a common love for Thai
women.
Rule #6. Respect the few taboos. Never touch a Thai on the head.
Never point your feet at a Thai. Avoid public displays of
affection. Yes, I know she was hanging all over you in the bar, but
that was in the bar. When you are walking down the street, keep
your hands to yourself.
Vietnam Veteran
AC-130E Spectre Gunships
16th Special Operations Squadron (USAF)
"We were winning when I left."
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