|
Speak of the Devil
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL...
GANG BANG:
"There isn't a real man in this country, not one who is capable of
pleasing me as a woman," according to Gina Palladina, a young Italian woman
charged in the shooting deaths of at least 46 men. "I warned them they
would be shot if they failed to satisfy me, but they all laughed in my
face. They didn't believe me, but I showed them."
Reports indicate that Palladina approached men and offered them free
sexual favors. According to a police inspector, she would love them and
then kill them. All her victims died of wounds inflicted by a .38 caliber
bullet to the forehead. Dubbed the "black widow," Palladina might never
have been caught if she hadn't chosen an undercover cop as a target.
Although officials are determined to prosecute, the indicate that she will
probably be declared incompetent to stand trial.
DATES FROM SPACE:
A Los Angles man claims an alien from space taught him how to pickup
girls, according to a story in the NATIONAL EXAMINER. Paul Ross, a 29 year
old legal advisor, was driving home from a singles dance when he was
transported into a spaceship resembling a discotheque. The ship was
piloted by Dook, an extraterrestrial from the Episilon Eridani solar
system. Ross said Dook is 6'5", sports a crew cut and has one eye, a mouth
that looks like a cheap car radio speaker and four legs.
"According to Dook, this planet is backward because of all the unhappy
men who can't make it with the babes," Ross said, adding that Dook
suggested that a man should treat a woman like dirt and make her feel as
uncomfortable as possible, avoid bathing and washing, and shout loudly in
her ear. Since heeding the alien's advice, "women now swarm to me like
maggots to a corpse on a hot summer's day," Ross said.
Sensitive men, as far as the alien is concerned, "should be sucked up by
a black hole for wimps. Then they should be sent to the planet Bletho to
be eaten by scarcolian fungazoid, a vicious female life-form," Ross said.
Ross currently runs an interplanetary dating service in Culver City, CA,
and has written a book, HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS THE SPACE ALIEN WAY.
DILDO HISTORY:
When you see all the sex aids advertised in newspapers and magazines, you
might think that these toys of joy are a product of modern permissiveness.
Think again.
Although the ancient Greeks and Romans didn't have the opportunity to
play around with electric vibrators or battery-operated ben wa balls,
history proves that they did have orgasm gadgets. And even civilizations
older than the Greeks and Romans used dildos or artificial penises. In
sculptures from ancient Babylon, a dildo is clearly depicted. Such
implements of pleasure were also common in ancient India, China and
elsewhere. In addition, the elaborate dildos mentioned in the Bible
(Ezekiel 17, "Thou hast also taken thy fair jewels of my gold and silver,
which I had given thee, and madest to thyself images of men, and didst
commit whoredom with them") might surprise those only familiar with Sunday
school scripture.
WHO CENSORS THE CENSORS?
HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES is a Canadian television series about an ice hockey
team. In one episode, the writers included a scene showing a hockey player
groping a naked woman prior to putting her to bed, or throwing her a "body
check," to use the sporting man's vernacular. The segment was shot in
prudish good taste so that only the woman's bare back and the curves of the
sides of her breasts were exposed, but when the word hit the streets, the
Canadian Broadcasting System was besieged with telephone calls and letters
from outraged puritan types who demanded that it not be shown. The CBC
decided that the segment really was too offensive for television and cut it
form the episode, but turned around and aired the footage on the nightly
news because of the controversy it created. Proof once again that you can
have your cheesecake and eat it too.
EATING IN THE EIGHTIES:
Q: What do you call oral sex between two Yuppies?
A: Sixtysomething.
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
? BROUGHT TO BY: HEAD'S UP ADULT BBS - Riverside, CA ?
? (909) 681-3721 (2400-14.4) ?
? ?
? Unique Adult Entertainment - All Legal Fetishes ?
? ?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
|
|
