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Doing It On TV [lez, ped, satire]
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
A few weeks ago I was shocked/amused to hear about an alt.sex story based on
the Cable TV kids' show "You Can't Do That On Television." Someone kindly
sent me the story but I was...ah, disappointed. I thought I could do better.
Here's my attempt.
Warning #1
This tale is based on the personas presented by actors in a TV show.
It is by no means intended to describe or represent the actors themselves in
anyway. This is satire.
Warning #2
If you have never watched the show in question that isn't exactly going to
make much sense to you.
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"It was a sensual experience."
--Christine McGlade's response at an interview when asked how it felt
the first time she was "slimed." (truth!)
DOING IT ON TV
VOICE OVER: "DEBBIE DOES BARNEY" will not be seen tonight so we can bring
you the following redeeming social-importance free program."
FADE IN TO "MOOSE" in red bowlingshirt and jeans on "You Can't" stage.
MOOSE:
"Hello and welcome to another action-packed episode of "You Can't Do That
on Television." Today's topic is about something on the minds of most
kids today: seh-"
Moose stops and peers at camera.
MOOSE:
ROSS!!!!
CUT TO REVERSE SHOT OF ROSS THE DIRECTOR standing beside camera.
ROSS:
"What is it _now_, Christine...?
REVERSE SHOT
MOOSE:
"Ross -- the cue card says today's show is about... ah, I mean..
about..."
She glances side to side and then, half blocking her lips mouths "sex."
Ross walks on stage.
ROSS:(increasingly irritated)
"So?"
MOOSE:
"But this is a _kids'_ show! And a Canadian kids' show too! We'll all go
to jail. We got in enough trouble doing a show on drugs -- I mean cream
pies."
ROSS:
"Well, ah, you see... The ah, Producers realized that ever since we went
on cable, most of our viewers have been in the United States. And, their.
ah, research says a lot of...mmm, older viewers are watching too. So it's
really just a matter of giving people what they want. Don't worry, we're just
going to increase a little of the, whatdayoucallit, mature content of the
show. It's not like the old days when we didn't have advertising."
KEVIN KUBUSHESKIE WALKS ON STAGE. He is wearing tight black leather pants and
an open leather vest.
KEVIN:
Ross... Look what they gave me for my first sketch! Wardrobe really
messed up this time!
ROSS:(half under his breath)
That's what you think kid...
He suddenly grabs Mooses's shirt and rips it off. She wears a black lace bra
which she desperately tries to cover with her arms.
ROSS:
Roll opening!
OPENING CREDITS
FADE IN TO MAIN STAGE. MOOSE is buttoning a new shirt. LISA RUDDY walks
on. She is wearing a white dress with lacy sleaves and collar. Lisa is in
mid sentence as she walks on.
LISA:
...and wait until my agent hears I mean, there is no way I am going to
stand for working under these conditions...
MOOSE:
What's wrong Lisa, can't fit your hips through your dressing room
door anymore?
LISA:
_No_ Christine... I'm talking about the script for this week's show. Have
you seen it?
MOOSE:(acting nonchalant)
Yeah... I was just reading it during the credits.
LISA:
Then you know what I mean! It's outrageous. I don't know how they think
they can --
Thick green slime pours down on top of Lisa, coating her hair and running
down the front of her dress.
LISA: (shrieking)
EEEEEE!! Just great. Not only this script but the all the old tricks as
well. You know I could have a real career, I don't have to stand around
and... and... Christine...what are you looking at?
MOOSE:
You know Lisa... covered in gook like that... you're actually kind of
cute.
She pulls at a strand of Lisa's matted hair.
MOOSE:
Though you could use a little something here...
LISA:
Yeah, like a shower... Oh no!
MOOSE:
Coming up!
A torrent of water now rains on Lisa. She stands resigned, letting it wash
away most of the green slime. She notices that her wet dress is clinging a
little revealingly and shuffles on her feet a little.
MOOSE:
Much better.
She turns and takes several steps towards Lisa who is forced to back away.
LISA:
Hey, Christine...
Moose continues to advance. Lisa bumps into the edge of the stage and sits
down with a thump. Moose runs a finger along the edge of her cheek. Lisa's
eyes are wide with astonishment.
MOOSE:
MM-hm. Cute. So cute I'm starting to feel a little... wet myself...
Water now pours down onto Christine. Far from cringing she throws her back
her head of curly black hair and lets the water wash across her. She starts
to unbutton her shirt, but gets impatient and rips it off. She cups her
round breasts and lets the water cascade through her clevage. With a quick
tug she pulls her bra off, letting her full but girlish boobs pop out.
LISA:
Eeeeek.
Moose leans over Lisa, pushing their soaked bodies together. Grinning she
begins to grind her breasts against Lisa's own ample pair. Lisa still
appears to be in a state of shock.
She begins to kiss Lisa's passionately -- kissing her cheeks, her mouth, her
neck -- and between each kiss she pulls away a piece of Lisa's clothing.
soon her nubile body is lying amdist a pile of damp cloth. She retains
only a pair of bikini briefs covered in pink hearts. Through the process she
has only emitted an occasional high-pitched squeak.
Moose stands a quickly steps out of her tight jeans. She runs her hands down
her delightfully young and voluptuous body. No starved waive model figure for
her. And now was the time to put those curves to use. With a final flourish
she brushes her fingers through the thick matt of hair between her legs and
knees before Lisa.
LISA: (barely audible)
I ahh... i really... should we...
MOOSE:
What's that? Wow, you've sure gotten quiet all of a sudden Lisa. That's
pretty odd for you...
MOOSE pulls her into a tight embrace and begins to nibble at the nape of
Lisa's neck. Lisa shudders and then begins to return the embrace. Moose runs
her hand down Lisa's now dry back.
MOOSE:
Hey -- there's something wrong here. The moister the merrier I always
say!
A downpour of water engulfs the couple. Moose begins kissing and licking
Lisa's breasts, letting the water run off Lisa's jutting nipples into her
mouth. Lisa begins to moan softly and rub her hands up and down Moose's
back.
Moose pauses only a moment to plunk off Lisa's panties. Her mound is coated
with the lightest covering of soft blond hair. Her clit is tucked away, shy
and reserved. Moose tuches it but once and Lisa lets loose with a wld cry of
pleasure. Smiling, Moose begins to stroke and probe. Everytime she
slows, Lisa shrieks and thrusts her hips forward in encouragement. She
finally comes with a cry that rattles the set and sends one of the
background light fixture crashing to the ground.
Moose leans back and sighs -- but Lisa suddenly is advancing on _her_!
LISA:
Okay, McGlade -- you've called me motor-mouth more than once. Now I show
you what that really means!
It's Moose's turn to gasp as Lisa pounces on her, her mouth wide and aimed
straight at Moose's cunt. The young TV show host can only lay back in
amazement as a skilled tongue does a job on her pussy, licking and kissing
and nipping. Moose grabs the back on Lisa's head and pushes her face closer
and tighter between her legs. Her orgasm seems to lift her up off the set --
but she doesn't attempt to match Lisa's volume.
The two girls wiggle up to each other, kiss and lay back on the floor of the
set.
MOOSE:
Wow, Lisa -- I always thought you were into boys!
LISA:
I am. But this is --
They roll over to face the camera.
MOOSE & LISA: (together)
The introduction to the opposites!!!
BLACK OUT
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Well, there's more where that came from, if anybody's interested!
Dr. Allosaurus
[email protected]
p b
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