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An evening with Dr. Booby
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
September 21st, 1987
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I see that we have alot of female callers
on line this session, so who would like to jump in first with a question?
Rick D: Oral sex is against the law in parts of the United States.
Doc Booby: True, there are still some laws prohibiting certain sexual acts
between consenting adults in some states, although the laws are rarely enforced.
Alice A.: A man's interest in sex may last until he is well into his 60's but
therafter drops off quickly?
Doc Booby: FALSE, it can last until 90 or 100!!
Bobby J.: Sexual routine that has fallen into a rut can be enlivened by trying
a new location outside the bedroom for sex?
Doc Booby: True, environmental changes can add spice to a sexual relationship!
Cindy C.: If a woman marries a man who was previously married, she should
expect her husband to have sex occasionally with his former wife?
Doc Booby: FALSE! If the couple has agreed to a monogamous in the present
marriage, the man has no special rights with his former wife.
Brad B.: Cervix is the French word for Orgasm?
Doc Booby: Come on now Brad, seriously now, the cervix is the opening to the
uterus!
Penny M.: I'm a 48 year old divorcee with a difficult marriage behind me. The
only good thing about the marriage were my two sons and our sex life - my
husband had a large penis and I always reached climax. I'm dating a man with a
small penis, and I don't orgasm now except from oral stimulation or
masturbation. What can I do?
Doc Booby: Be honest with your male friend and work on your problem. Sexual
harmony can be achived with all sizes of male equipment.
Randy B.: I have been seeing and having sex with a young woman who likes to
make love in parks, on benches, and in station wagons in broad daylight. The
sex is great, but we're bound to be arrested soon. What should I do?
Doc Booby: Tell her you're not comfortable with these sessions, and arrange
for some comfortable sex somewhere secure.
Dick P.: I have a powerful sex drive and I masturbate at least once a day.
Itseems my testicles swell a bit from all my masturbating. My real difficulty
is that I become impotent with women when the time arrives for intercourse. Is
there some connection?
Doc Booby: Testicles do not swell from masturbating. Your problem is more
psychological than physical!!
Fridge B: After 10 years of marriage, my husband has been getting into some
unusual sexual practices. First, he bought home a vibrator, which has given us
some intense orgasms. Now he brought home some flannel pajamas for us to wear
during foreplay. The thing is, we both get aroused while wearing them, though
I'm not sure why.
Doctor Booby: If you are enjoying yourselves, go ahead. Let your fantasies
suggest some more spice for your sex life.
Nola T: When my boyfriend and I make love, he ejaculates as soon as we start
to have intercourse. At first he was embarressed about it, but now he blames
me. He says I'm too aggressive and he gets overstimulated. I'm getting angry
at him now and I don't know what to do.
Doctor Booby: Teach him about premature ejaculation and visit a sex therapist
with him.
Susan F: I am a 19-year-old woman attending college in upstate New York, and I
think I'm gay. My roommate, who is openly lesbian, and I have been in love for
several months, and she wants to have sex. What should I do?
Doctor Booby: Get your own room next semester before a sexual relationship
begins. Otherwise, even if it doesn't work out, you'd still have to live
together.
Cindy C: I've had a wonderful sexual relationship with a man for a year now.
One night he asked me to masturbate in front of him because he often fantasized
about it. I refused and he became upset. Was I right?
Doctor Booby: Only bring to life the fantasies of his that you feel
comfortable fulfilling.
Brad B: I have a problem with my wife's lovemaking. When we have sex, she
asks me to intiate a new activity or to touch her a certain way. I prefer to
keep things spontaneous and do my own thing. Do you agree?
Doctor Booby: Listen to what she asks and do it if you can. Communication
like this is healthy.
Donna P: My husband does not ejaculate every time we make love-just every
other time. This makes me feel uncomfortable, and I think there is something
wrong. He says that it's fine with him and that I should just enjoy my orgasms
and to leave him enjoy his. Should I be concerned?
Doctor Booby: No. Some men, like some women, can enjoy sex without the orgasm.
Penny M: Semen contains a dangerous bacteria and should never be swallowed!
Doctor Booby: False!! Semen is made up of substances which can cause no harm.
Yard Masher: If a woman laughs during intercourse, it means the penis is
tickling the lining of her vagina?
Doctor Booby: False. It is natural response, like moaning or murmuring, and
has nothing to do with being tickled.
Les S: On a woman, the main locations of under-the-skin fat deposits are
behind the breasts, in the lower part of the abdomen and over the hips and
thighs?
Doctor Booby: True. The development of these fat deposits is one of the signs
of puberty.
Rick D: The word orgasm comes from the greek word organ, meaning to swell?
Doctor Booby: True, but swelling is not a characteristic of orgasm, release of
tumescence is.
Tom W: A young man who maturbates frequently may develop calluses on the hand
he uses?
Doctor Booby: False, it does not cause calluses. Many myths exist about the
dangers of masturbation.
Earl G: Breast-sucking during intercourse is often called 'regression to early
infantile behavior'?
Doctor Booby: False, breast-sucking can increase the stimulation for both
partners.
Sandy M: Monkey gland injections were once adminstered to men to overcome
sterility and to increase their sexual drive?
Doctor Booby: True, monkeys were thought to be extremely active sexually and
so the injections would help man.
Mike T: Women who get excited but who never get orgasms can actually get sick
from sex?
Doctor Booby: True, pelvic congestion is the result of never having sexual
release. We have time for one more question folks.
Dave G: Intomission is the insertion of the erect penis into the vagina?
Doctor Booby: True, that's the term for it!
Doctor Booby: Our time has expired, so please join us again for some more
conversation. Thank-you.
And again........
Dr Booby: Welcome back ladies and gentlemen for another On-Line Question and
Answer session! We are at a rush tonight since I have been invited to a
certain club in San Fransico, so on with the questions!
Ruby D: I have always had bad luck with lovers-these men never seem to work
out. Sex with them is painful, and I get scared. I feel like there's no hope
for me and no man will ever love me. Can you help?
Dr Booby: You start by loving yourself. See a therapist to find out why you
seem to have relationships with the wrong men for you.
Brad B: My girlfriend gets so worked up during intercourse that she leaves
long scratch marks down my back. It hurts when she scratches me, too. What do
I do?
Dr Booby: Buy her a nail file and ask her to use it to save your skin.
LuCinda C: I am embarrassed and at a loss as to what to do when my lover puts
on his 'rubber'. What is the proper thing to do? Do I watch? Or help him
with it?
Dr Booby: It is always proper for a lady to assist a gentleman with his
prophylactic. After all, it's use is a benefit to both parties. However, it
is not polite to look at him and say 'Gee, Honey, look how much is left rolled
up at the bottom!'
Sandy M: When I'm staying over at a man's house, is it polite to use his tooth
brush in the morning?
Dr Booby: Think of all the disgusting things he was doing with his mouth last
night. You KNOW he's done those things many times before with many different
people!
Tom W: What side of the bed should I take on a One Night Stand?
Dr Booby: The one nearest the door.
Pig P: My girlfriend wants me to wear these here little bikini deals she
brought. Hell, I ain't wearin' these fag drawers! They come in a plastic tube
fer Chrissakes!
Dr Booby: Now, now, if you expect your wife to look attractive for you,
you're going to have to reciprocate. (That means, 'Y'all gotta do the same fer
the little lady!') It's only fair that you try to please her. If, however, she
takes Polaroids of you in a G-String and cherry red pumps and shows them to
your bowling team you may break her legs!
Honey H: My boyfriend wants me to shave my pubic hair. I'm very offended by
this request and I think it's rude of him to ask me.
Dr Booby: There is no real answer to this, but I'll give it a try. You may
find it distasteful and may refuse to succumb to your boyfriend's request, of
course. Some men and some women like this sort of thing and it's really pretty
harmless. It may be difficult for him to explain to the boy's at the office
later, though, how HE got whisker burn from YOU!
DR BOOBY COMMENT ON CROTCH SHAVING:
**
Some more adventurous ladies, though, enjoy doing this. They find it
exciting to know that under their prim, pin-striped business suit and sensible
underware lurks a small fuzzy heart, arrow or bulls-eye!!
**
Dave G: My partner and I enjoy oral sex a great deal, both giving and
receiving. Ocassionally though, while receiving, I'll feel the rumblings of
gastronoical distress. Is there a polite way to excuse myself from the
proceedings untill it 'passes'?
Dr Booby: No, there isn't. You can, however, refrain from porking down a
dozen White Castle Hamburgers in the hours preceeding the activity.
Warren R: What about 'Doggie style'? It seems so crude and animal like. My
wife seems to like it alot but it's kind of hard for me to get into it. Is it
really proper?
Dr Booby: All postions are acceptable. Pick up a copy of the Kuma Sutra for
afull listing. (PS).. Remember to have fun with them. Put blinders on her and
get yourself a riding crop. Pretend your Willy Shoemaker in the final stretch
of the Kentucky Derby!!
Sorry ladies, gentlemen and system perverts, my time is up for this session.
If you would like to ask some private questions, the System Operator here has
set me up with a list of systems I have access to. There should be a listing
somewhere on the system you are reading this from. Thank you, and hope I have
solved some of your problems.... Till next time....
Happy Humping.....
Dr Booby
And......AGAIN!
Dr Booby: Welcome to November's edition of On-Line Sex Net Forum Ladies,
Gentlemen, and perverts! We will try to get all 50 of you on line this
evening, so, please bare with us!
Tom W: Is it dangerous for a man to perform oral sex on a woman who is using a
spermicidal jelly?
Dr Booby: There is nothing dangerous in the jelly, and they even come in
different flavors.
LaDawna H: Are there bones in a man's penis?
Dr Booby: Sorry, but the penis is made of soft tissue that becomes engorged
with blood to make it stiff.
Nancy B: Is it true that trimming or shaving patches of of pubic hair can
stimulate a man?
Dr Booby: Elsewhere on this system you will find last month's forum and in
HELPFUL HINTS you will find something on this, but I will again hilite on this
question-Some men consider a partly or completely shaved pubic area very
exciting.
Dave G: When is it appropriate to use condoms?
Dr Booby: When she won't let you come in her mouth!
Sandy M: My husband is turned on by used sanitary napkins. Is this perverted?
Dr Booby: It's cheaper than leather or lingerie. Store them for him in
Zip-Loc bags in the freezer to keep them fresh and fragrant between cycles.
LuCinda C: My boyfriend likes to do it doggie style, but I find it very
unromantic. Would it be rude to mention my feelings?
Dr Booby: Bark whenever he mounts you. If he doesn't get the hint, start
sniffing his balls in public.
Ruby D: When is the correct time to wear crotchless underwear?
Dr Booby: During your period, for convenient tampon insertion. They don't
have to be washed as often, either.
Mike O: My girlfriend insists on using her vibrator when we make love. Is
this a proper sexual behavior.
Dr Booby: Yes, as long as she doesn't call it by name.
Brad B: Is it appropriate to applaud after watching three or four people fuck
each other on stage at a live sex show?
Dr Booby: Yes, I refer to it as giving them the clap, and do recommend it
after an exceptional performance!
Dick Powell: After making love, should I offer to clean my wife's private
parts?
Dr Booby: Sure, douche bag.
Curtis R: When I make love to my girlfriend, she sometimes likes to take the
female superior position. As she nears climax, she askes me to slap her rear
end hard. But I don't feel comfortable hitting a woman. What should I do?
Dr Booby: Why not give her pleasure instead of letting old-fashioned social
rules dominate where they don't belong - in the bedroom.
Becky M: I am mortified by the sounds that sometimes occur when air is
trappedin the vagina during intercourse. Is there a tactful way to cover up
for these embarrasing moments?
Dr Booby: Tell him you're a ventriloquist!
Tim M: Is oral sex fattening? My girlfriend says going down on me ruins her
diet?
Dr Booby: Only if your cock is lubricated with peanut butter, as, of course,
it should be at all times.
Earl G: I have a problem that deeply embarrasses me. I believe my penis is
unusually small, and I worry about its size all the time. I know there is no
medical problem. I'm just not well-endowed. What can I do?
Dr Booby: Masturbate in front of a full lenght mirror and admire what you got.
It might make you feel better!!
Dr Doug: I think my roommate is gay. I don't want to accuse him and make him
feel uncomfortable, but is there a way to find out?
Dr Booby: Goodnight Dr Doug, but before I sign out here, I will answer your
question. SEE IF his cock tastes like shit!
Good night all..... See you in December and remember, this system probaly
supports a Ask Dr Booby message base!
Dr Booby
One more time.....!
Dr Booby: Welcome to the Christmas edition of On-Line with me!
Sandy M: My hubby tells me I'm not giving him a proper blow job becauses he
winces every time I start to suck him. Is there such a thing as a 'sucking
method'?
Dr Booby: Try not using your teeth!
LaDawna H: I just started French Kissing and need to know where the spit
should go. I don't want to dribble on my boyfriend.
Dr Booby: Swallow. This will make you even more popular later on.
Dick P: My wife wears bras that are impossible to open without 'ruining the
mood'. Can you suggest a proper way of undoing the straps while maitaining the
atmosphere?
Dr Booby: Weren't you ever a Boy Scout? Be prepared-carry a knife.
(P.S. A knife is a great tool to help get a prudish woman 'in the mood')
Pig P: My problem is that I walk around all day getting erections, and I'm in
a constant state of sexual arousal. I'm embarrassed and worry about this
constantly. What should I do?
Dr Booby: Fantasize and masturbate every day. Distract yourself with serious
thoughts when you THINK you MIGHT GET an erection.
Michael G: My wife is a great lover, but something about our sex life bothers
me. Every time she shows me a new position or technique, I wonder and worry
about the possibilities as to where she might have learned it. What should I
do?
Dr Booby: If you enjoy her creativity, why mention it? Don't let your
jealousy keep you from benefiting from her ability to please you!
Dave G: Many times when I am making love to my wife, I fantasize that I am
making love to her best friend, who is more attractive and sexy. Is this okay?
Dr Booby: Enjoy your fantasy, but it's a good idea to keep it to yourself.
Tom W: Is it okay to eat out on the first date?
Dr Booby: Give it your best shot. I'd try for an old-fashioned French kiss if
I were you.
Honey Hog: My boyfriend and I met another couple a few months ago, and we have
since learned that they engage in partner switching. My boyfriend is eager to
get together with them, and although he hasn't hasn't said so, I think he is
attracted to the gal. I'm afraid they will pressure me into a partner
switch-off. What should I do?
Dr Booby: Before you see them, discuss your feelings with your boyfriend and
set limits on what each of you will or won't do.
Nancy B: The other night my husband said he would get e tremendous sexual
thrill by giving me a 'golden shower' - urinating on me. I thought about it
but rejected the idea since it disgusts me. He keeps asking me once in a while
and hints I am sort of a prude. Am I?
Dr Booby: Keep an umbrella by the bed in case he decides to surprise you! No,
on the serious side, stick with your instinct and continue to tell him no!
After all, why do something that disgust you.
LuCinda C: I have herpes. Should I tell my date before, during, or after we
go out?
Dr Booby: If you want to get laid, keep your mouth shut!
Rick D: My wife has been talking to some friends who practice nudism at home,
and she has begun to do it too. I go crazy with sexual excitement whenever her
breast inadvertently brush against me or when I se her bend over to pick up a
magazine. What should I do?
Dr Booby: Join in of course! Why not follow up on your arousal by caressing
her breasts and then making love?
Scott M: I have a problem with my girlfriend when we're in bed. She acts
likea traffic cop, telling me to touch her here and there, this way and that.
What fun is sex if all I do is follow directions?
Dr Booby: Buy a policeman's hat and introduce her to a night stick!
Seriouslynow, set a time to stimulate each other without her making
suggestions, and you give her some gentle directions.
Becky M: My boyfriend and I have been doing well and enjoying sex until one
day I coaxed him up to my room for sex. My father walked in on us. They were
both upset by the incident, and now my boyfriend says I don't turn him on
anymore. What do I do?
Dr Booby: Such remarks often mean someone is angry. Find out what your
boyfriend is feeling and see if you can mend the relationship.
Dr Booby: I'm sorry I can't get to the rest of the questions lined up here but
I have to rush off to Florida to catch a ride on a cruise ship! So, until we
meet again, remember to write down those questions for the next session....
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