|
Our Halloween Weekend
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
Subject: our Halloween weekend
Dear friends, the following is an exact account of what we did
on this Halloween. In Italy there is no tradition of feasting this
day, so I'm sure all of you will have better things, such as wild
parties and rituals, to tell, and I'm waiting to hear them!, but
meanwhile, I hope this will not bore you... :-)
Saturday morning I woke up with all my senses acute and squirming;
I intensely began to feel the magick of the coming hour and avidly
drank the feeling of waiting for something utterly delicious and
beautiful...
I accompanied the children to school, I did my shopping, and I
reached home about ten a.m. Alex was awaiting me in the hall:
"Darling - he told me - today I feel master-slave-shaman all at
the same time... It's not that I want to switch often, it's that
I'm feeling all these things deeply and simultaneously! I would
like to do something intensely powerful, highly spiritual and
physically overwhelming..." I embraced him. "I'm ready, my shaman,
my light.."
He led me towards our bedroom, taking my hands in his. I almost
cried: his flesh was burning and the air was full of electricity.
"Undress, my heart." I did so. He remained still and silent for
some minutes. I trembled, feeling a splendid, savage tension
vibrating in the warm air of the room, and experiencing liquid
waves of power descending on me, blessing me, and then leaving me
enriched and exausted at the same time... Presences were dancing
around us and the magick was real as was real my heartbeat.
"Laylah, you are the Earth, you are the Goddess... I have beaten
you, I have loved you, but never I have been *really* angry with
you... Never the universe has been alien and hostile to you...
But in the next few minutes, you will feel my wrath. You have done
absolutely nothing to deserve this wrath, but you will suffer it,
until its last drop, if only for a brief time... I will beat you
cruelly, as never before... I will push your limits... except you
have the normal three safewords, yellow, green, red."
My Lord took his crop: "I advise you to cover your face and your
eyes, especially. It will be terrible..." I looked at Alex's face:
it was dark and tense and beautiful. In that moment I knew that he
*should* do it to teach me a lesson in the only possible way... I
knew that it was not easy for him, and that he was really madly in
love with me, to have gained the courage to do it. Suddendly I
heard Fenris' voice: "Laylah, you are not alone, I'm with you...
I give you my strength, I give you a wolf force to bear it... But
don't try to escape, you must drink it and dry it up..." Alex's
crop hit my feet, then without a microsecond of pause, my ankles,
my breast, my pussy, my hands, my neck... It was not a rain of
lashes, it was the fire of a vengeful god, the lighting of a power
above me, a sword not of this world...
I felt his terrible strokes on my calves, on my nipples, on my
ears, on my wrists... sometimes I covered my eyes, sometimes I
received the blows on the back of my hands. At a certain point my
mind began to flow, liquid, so liquid... a part of myself was
outside my body, and I was seeing my squirming form, in an almost
foetal position, I was comtemplating my head overturned, my face
striped by hot tears, my loose hair, the violet welts decorating
every part of my body... "Return inside your body - Fenris said -
return, suffer, and learn. Learn from this ordeal and don't safeword
before you have learnt..."
My Lord and shaman continued to beat me. I sobbed, I begged, I
cried. "Lord, please, please, please... stop it, stop it..." But
he continued. A totally unexpected sweetness quickly descended
over me, wrapped me and led me INSIDE the pain: inside the burning
sinews, inside the blood, inside the red and bruised flesh. Then
the sweetness became ecstasy, and the ecstasy guided me in the
sancta sanctorum of pain, ate the holy body of pain, drank its
vital essence and left me in the center of an universe: with pain,
joy and fire all mixed together, all subsisting at the same time,
all perfectly united inside the chalice of happiness...
Abruptly Alex stopped. With reverence I kissed the whip, with
reverence I then grasped it. "Undress yourself" I told him. He
obeyed. I began to lash him, my face still covered by tears, my
chest still raised by my soft sobbings, my hands still trembling...
I hit him to guide him to a clearer light, to teach him too, and
to thank him for the wonderful satori he has offered my soul this
morning.
I whipped his calves savagely, then I beat his shoulders, and his
bottom... Alex cried, and moaned and wept, sweet Goddess, he wept
as a child, the purest, cleansing, holiest weeping I have ever
heard. I continued, with a tiger's fierceness, cruel as death and
sweet as a mother. At last, when his words became totally incoherent,
and his moans desperate enough, I stopped. I stroked his hair and
I kissed his forehead: "Beloved, beloved, beloved..." I whispered,
then I embraced him and we remained in worship and silence for many
minutes.
Outside a strong wind was blowing, rain lashed the roof without
mercy and the magick grew, grew, grew... At last it reached a peak
of absolute purity and we felt Michael near us, and we rejoiced.
We made love simply and fluidly: that was not time proper for
complex sexual games. We were the universe, divided in parts for
love of love; we were simple, essential, clear. We loved each other
as water springs from a mountain-rock and afterwards we felt fresh,
serene and ready to drink the never-ending poetry of daily life.
I went to take home my daughter from school, and to accompany my
son to his (Catholic) religion lessons. Then I prepared a light
lunch, keeping open the window to breathe in syntony with Mother
Earth. A sweet music was singing in my heart and I tought how
wonderful were the passing clouds, sailing tenderly in to the gray,
lucid sea of the sky. And, my Goddess, how was holy the food that
I was dressing, the green vegetables, and the cheese and the
mediterranean pasta, simple and tasty. And I thanked the vegetables,
and I blessed the pasta, and I felt the goodness of all things
coming inside me and I smiled.
We ate happily, Alex chatting sweetly with Flavia, I serving them,
and stroking their hands, and caressing them briefly. They were
beautiful, beautiful... I blessed them, and the magick increased,
the wind blowed more fiercely and the light changed color. "Today
the gods are walking on earth" I tought, but immediately understood
that everyday gods are near us, only our eyes are closed or blind
to the poetry of reality... We finished our meal. At the end I
swallowed a piece of apple. Thousands of times I have eaten fruit,
but THIS time I found myself inside that apple, I was a living,
juiced thing, chewed and chewed, and I felt the apple laceration,
and its happiness. The apple was happy to be chewed and swallowed,
it was its dharma...
I made dishes, then I went out with Alex and Flavia, in the center
of the city, to do some shopping. Alex finally found a Crowley-Thoth
tarot pack that satisfied him, though it cost a bundle; he bought
me a ring of burnished copper; and for Flavia and Lucio, Disney's
"Alice in Wonderland" video in English.
Near the bookshops there were crowds and animation, but when we
returned home afoot, across the ancient university area, the
situation completely changed. We were walking under the old arcades,
every stone of the buildings of middle age times, and nobody,
absolutely nobody around us. Bologna seemed deserted by men, and
full of magick. A soft wind played with our overcoats, and the
afternoon light changed to a more delicate nuance. I had goosebumps,
and I found no words to say the emotion that filled my soul as a
golden vessel.
At last, after an orange-gray sunset, crossed by rain and lightnings,
Lady Night came again, and I welcomed her with all my senses.
"Here you are, sister, I've waited for you as the lover you are..."
Hours swiftly passed, and now Alex and I were alone in our sitting
room, window partially open, the smelling of earth tingling our
perceptions. "Laylah, now, our blood, mixed together..." He opened
again with his razorblade the "A" cut deeply days before, again he
carved it, spilling blood on my flank. Then he cut the first leg
of the "M" and put carefully the razorblade in my right hand.
The wind increased, the window moved, and I saw Fenris golden eyes
full of expectation... I carved an "L" on Alex's left arm, I opened
the edges, I enlarged them until the blood was sufficient... Tears
of happiness were in our eyes, an we made it: Alex knelt and put
his open cutting on mine, and our blood melt and mixed and the two
halves of the world were one again. My Lord drank my blood, I
drank his, and Lady Night drank all.
Alex took the crop and hit me exactly on the cutting: more blood
was spilled, and more presences were near us, making my soul dancing
in unity with the rhythm of magick. Then I took Alex's belt, and
I beat him on the newly carved "L". He cried, and we embraced, we
kissed and caressed... Alex took his lighter and told me: "Your
scar will be more beautiful, after this." He put the flame on the
"A" on my flank: I sobbed, and all the gates between dimensions
were open, and I saw different stars and different hearts.
The magick continued all night long, and all the Sunday after. The
morning was sunny and cold and beautiful, and I deeply meditated
on the fact that *FOR ME* each day the Earth was more splendid,
and every day I was happier than the day before... rereading what
I have written over this month, I realize I keep writing as if each
time was the first of something, or the most painful, or the most
incredibly ecstatic in my life, or all of these at once - but you
know what - it always IS! "Zen mind, beginner's mind", comments
my darling Lord from his Buddhist viewpoint... I'm not too sure
what he means exactly, but that's all right, since if I quizzed
him, I'm sure he would go "MU" or something like that anyway:-).
And so, I just repeat exactly what I feel inside - although we had
no party, and no beautiful ritual but just the one with each other,
still, THIS is the sweetest autumnal evening I could imagine...
Yes, I know, I'm incorrigible.:-)
Enlightenment can give you the perfect peace necessary for an
unending happiness... This happiness without borders or limits,
I wish for all of you: I wish this so deeply that my heart is
moved towards yours, and my soul, and my love...
Bright blessings and a sea of happiness,
Laylah
|
|
