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Dr. Hooters #31: It Ain't Easy Being Green
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
Dr Hooters XXXI
It Ain't Easy Bein' Green
There is a popular South Florida radio station that advertises
its signal as reaching from 'the Keys to the trees'. As you
travel north from Miami on I-95, you pass through heavily popu-
lated Broward and Palm Beach counties, but, once you leave the
last ramparts of the South Florida metropolis in the West Palm
Beach area, the change is sudden and dramatic. Instead of an
endless vista of office buildings, housing developments, and
strip malls, the trees and grasses begin to invade, and suddenly
you are in wide open country. The Miami radio stations begin to
fade, and all you can hear are the cow birds calling in the end-
less savannahs.
The country made Tommy nervous. He had lived in Miami all his
life, except for two years in foster care out in the country,
where he found the silence deafening. He didn't relish returning
to it, but events had forced him to it.
The sun began peaking up over the horizon, climbing up out of the
dark, not-too-distant Atlantic as Tommy propelled the Allante
convertible out of Palm Beach and into Martin County. He looked
over his shoulder. Mary and Consuela, Blair's mother and grand-
mother, were still sleeping peacefully, unaware of the danger
they were leaving fast behind to the South.
It was almost full morning when Tommy pulled up to the Burger
King outside Stuart. He didn't have much money, but he could
spring for a few sausage sandwiches and a few cups of coffee. He
was carrying it back out when he was surprised by Blair's mother
sitting on the hood of the car, smoking a cigarrette.
"Where are we", she asked bluntly, "who are you, and where are
you taking us?" The smoke from her cigarrette didn't rise, but
merely hung in the thick, already oppressively humid air.
Tommy set the breakfast bag down on the roof of ther car. "I'm
Tommy Maxwell, Mrs. Quinteros. I guess you'd call me Blair's
boyfriend. We're in Stuart, about four hours north of Miami, and
I was hoping to make it to Vero Beach by noon."
Mary blew out another cloud of smoke. "I've met you before, Tom-
my. You weren't so tall last I saw you. You've filled out a
lot. Quickly. Why should we continue to go with you rather than
calling the Highway Patrol and having you arrested for kidnap-
ping?"
Tommy was astounded. When he picked Blair's mother and grand-
mother up and carried them out to the Cadillac convertible earli-
er that night, they had both been severely beaten around the head
and upper body, with multiple bruises and cuts just about every-
where. This morning, Mary appeared as though she were just wak-
ing up after coming home from work. "You don't remember anything
about last night, do you, Mrs. Quinteros", he asked.
Mary shook her head. "What's to remember?", she asked.
Tommy told her the whole story - how he and Blair had discovered
them on the floor of their apartment, severely beaten, and how he
had helped Blair put them to bed. After that, he started nosing
around the apartment area to see if the assaltants were still
hanging around. What he had found had chilled his blood.
He had been walking down the alley behind their apartment when
he heard two women's voices whispering quietly behind a fence.
"What did you have to go and do **that** for, you sick bitch?",
hissed the first voice.
"I didn't think Madam would mind me having a little fun mixed in
with the work", responded the second, in a tone of voice that
Tommy could only describe as 'very dangerous'.
"If we had just left them there, they would have gone to bed.
Then we could have picked up the girl, delivered her to Madam,
gotten the pay, and we'd be drinking sloe gin fizzes on Powerline
Road by now! As it is, the girl's been warned, and that big mon-
key of a boyfriend of hers has probably called the cops"
"He doesn't look like the type to be calling the heat. I say we
go back there, ice the old lady, the momma, the boyfriend, scat-
ter some shit around to make it look a robbery..."
"Grab the little bitch, and still get her to Madam by four o'
clock! I like the way you think. You got the piece?"
"Uh-huh"
After hearing this, Tommy rushed back to the apartment, found
that Blair had disappeared, wrote her a quick note, stuffed Mary
and Consuela into the convertible, and roared off into the night.
"I think I saved your lives", Tommy remarked. Mary's eyes were
wide with surprise.
"Why'd anyone want to do this to us? We've lived inthat apart-
ment since Amanda was born, and we've never had any trouble!"
Mary looked up at Tommy. The broad-shouldered, deep-chested
young man resembled the Tommy she knew only in the glistening
eyes and the nervous way he moved his hands. If what he was say-
ing was true...
"Mrs. Quinteros", Tommy began, "didn't you find it a bit unusual
that both Amanda and Blair started, well, growing up at the same
time? And didn't you think that they had gotten, well, pretty
well-developed for girls their age?"
Mary nodded. Amanda and Blair had shot up like weeds the last
couple of months, and both of them had developed enviable fig-
ures. "What are you trying to say, Tommy?", she pleaded, finish-
ing her cigarrette and snuffing it out under the flat part of her
spiked heel.
"Blair and I stole two gallons of milk out of the back of some-
one's trunk some time ago, Mrs Quinteros", Tommy confessed.
"That milk made Blair, Amanda and I mature quickly, and get big
in places where, well, its good to be big. Look at me!" He
turned around for Mary's inspection in the parking lot. "I have
to tell you now that Blair is huge. Not tall or fat, but huge,
up here, where it counts for a girl!" He patted his chest.
Mary stared intently at the handsome young man. Something about
his demeanour, his nervous energy, was very convincing. Mary had
always been a sucker for a handsome face and a nice body. That's
how Blair and Amanda had made it into the world.
Tommy kept talking, on and on, about the incredible expansion of
Blair's breasts on the Palmetto Expressway. If what he's saying
is true, thought Mary, he's probably fucked my little Blair. I
wonder if he'd go for a mother-daughter set...
She lit another Salem. "If what you're saying is true, Tommy,
then Blair must be in some danger as well. Why didn't you take
her with us?"
"When I got back, Mrs. Quinteros, she was nowhere around.", Tommy
replied. He pushed his palms together, making the impressive
muscles in his shoulders and arms stand out, a gesture which was
not lost on Mary. "I'm not much for thinkin', but as far as I
know, either Blair is safe, or she's already in the hands of this
Madame character those two weasels were talkin' about. If
she's safe, nothin' I do's gonna make her safer. If this Madam's
got her, well, let me get you to to safety first, then I go back
for Blair. She'll be the happier knowin' you two are OK"
Mary pursed her lips and expelled the smoke. She thrust her hips
forward slightly and smiled, unfolding her arms. She noticed
that Tommy's gaze went immediately to her small but shapely
breasts. Nope, she thought, no problem there. Give him half a
chance, and he'd be trying to push as much of himself as possible
up the same place Blair came out of.
"So where are we going, Tommy?", she asked sweetly, holding the
cigarette to one side and putting her other hand on her slender
waist.
"Uh, I'm takin' you to Cap'n Ted's place, up near Brunnell.
You'll be safe there as anywhere." Tommy swallowed hard. It
seemed like Blair's mom was coming on to him, and he didn't know
how to take it. Other women, older women, like the one who
loaned him the Cadillac, came on to him too. He didn't have to
work at all for pussy these days, but since he'd been reunited
with Blair, he wasn't so sure if he'd be taking up so many of-
fers.
"Who's Cap'n Ted?", Mary asked.
"Captain Ted Mourassi", replied Tommy, breaking into the sack and
pulling out one of the sausage sandwiches. It seemed safer to
attend to his hunger than to that other physical drive which was
clamoring for his attention. "I spent two years in foster care
with him when my Awntie Marshie went to Lawtey. He knows almost
everything. You'll like him a lot."
"I certainly hope so, Tommy. But you'd better let me drive.
Heaven knows what you're using for a driver's license."
******************************************************************
Consuela woke up when they were about twenty minutes out of Stu-
art. It didn't take Mary long to fill her in on what was happen-
ing. Like her daughter, she had no recollection of the previous
night's events.
"- But I feel wonderful, daughter", she explained to Mary in
Spanish. "- Its been a long time since I felt this good. But
your hair, why is it turning green?"
Mary gasped, and looked in the mirror. Her waist-length hair,
once jet black, was turning an unusual shade of green. The
change started, not at the crown as expected, but had started at
the tips, and now Mary's hair was about two-thirds asparagus-
green, with the roots remaining black as before.
"-You two were beat up badly last night", Tommy commented in
Spanish, which language he was able to speak fluently thanks to
his Puerto Rican grandmother. "-Are you certain this doesn't
have anything to do with that?"
Mary snorted. "-You'd have to beat someone pretty bad to turn
their hair green." By the time they arrived in Melbourne, Mary's
hair had turned entirely green, as had her eyes.
"I'm turning into a stalk of asparagus", Mary complained to Tom-
my.
"-Daughter. I had a funny dream last night.", Consuela added.
"-I dreamt that Blair had grown enormous breasts, and was giving
us suck as if we were the babies, and she were our mother."
"-That's exactly what happened, grandmother", Tommy explained.
"-When she saw you were hurt, her breasts started dripping milk,
and she had me put you on either side of her, so she could nurse
you two."
Mary shuddered. The last time she had seen Blair was just before
the party at the Rodriguez' mansion. Blair at that time was re-
markably well-developed for a girl her age, sporting a 36-DD
bustline that put her mother to shame. The idea that Blair's un-
usual growth had continued, and that her daughter was now some
kind of lactating freak made her uneasy.
"Then too, Mrs. Quinteros, if Blair's milk has the same effect
that the milk we stole out of the car, that could explain why
your hair is turning green."
"I thought the milk you stole was a breast-enhancer, not a hair
dye."
Tommy rubbed his jaw. "It seems to have some pretty unusual ef-
fects, ma'am. For instance, Blair's as strong as a mule. I
weigh over two-fifty now, but Blair pulled me in through an open
window like I was a rag doll. She tells me Amanda can read
minds, or something pretty close."
"I wouldn't be surprised whatever happened", he added. "Still,
look what it did to me. It probably won't hurt you two any."
"-Sure! I feel great!", remarked Consuela, after Tommy's remarks
had been translated for her.
Consuela, in particular, seemed years younger than she had the
night before. She was a waspish woman, in her late fifties, with
iron-grey hair and a sour disposition that came from too much
drinking and too many disappointments. Ordinarily, she dragged
herself through the day, speaking little and watching a lot of
the Spanish soap operas on television. Mary was glad to see her
mother so animated for a change.
That is, until her skin began to turn green.
It started in Melbourne, when Mary started to notice the slight-
est tint of green around her eyes and mouth, but the greening
continued until by the time they arrived in Daytona Beach about
lunchtime, Mary was a vivid snow-pea green that contrasted strik-
ingly with the darker green of her hair.
Tommy suggested stopping for lunch, but Mary was horrified. "I'm
not getting out of this car if you do stop", she shouted. "I
look like the Jolly Green Giant!" So Consuela and Tommy stopped
at a roadside Denny's while Mary fumed in the car. When they re-
turned with a take-out order for Mary, she found she had no ap-
petite.
"Maybe now, I'll just plant myself in the ground and feed myself
by photosynthesis", she said, only half-jokingly.
Fortunately, it wasn't much more than an hour from Daytona Beach
to their destination. Following Tommy's instructions, Mary
pulled the Cadillac convertible up into the front lawn of a
large, two-story frame house, surrounded by dense vegetation and
fruit trees. Mary felt something tingle as she stepped out of
the car.
"The trees!", she remarked, "the trees are greeting me!" Tommy
helped Consuela from the back seat while Mary stood in the front
yard, awash in new and novel sensations. "Its a language!", she
muttered, "I never understood before... This is marvelous!!!"
Watching as Blair's mother walked around the front yard, Tommmy
couldn't help but notice that being green had only enhanced
Mary's attractiveness. Somehow, the muscles in her thighs and
arms stood out more, were more noticible, and her thick dark-
green hair danced back and forth on her back, although there was
no appreciable breeze. Her new complexion was very compatible
with her white stretch top and khaki shorts, and Tommy felt the
twinge of desire rise up inside him as he watched. He turned and
carried Mary's and Consuela's luggage into the house.
There was a note on the front door -
Tommy-
I'm sorry I couldn't be around to greet you upon your arrival. I
am busy with some urgent business elsewhere. Tell your guests to
make themselves at home, and give them the two bedrooms off the
staircase upstairs, next to the tower. I hope to be back later
tonight to make their acquaintance.
If either of them have the talisman, tell them under no circum-
stances are they to allow any other woman to touch it! If you
have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry. I'll explain
everything when I arrive.
Sorry about the broken window.
Always your friend;
Captain Ted
Consuela wrinkled her nose after Tommy translated the letter for
her. "-He was expecting us? Did you call him from Miami?"
"Captain Ted's a strange guy, Mrs. Quinteros. He can be pretty
spooky at times, and there's no hiding anything from him, as I
found out when I was staying here", Tommy remarked. You better
wait until you meet him before you try to figure him out. And,
no, I didn't call him. He's got his own ways of finding things
out."
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