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Julie's Journal #1
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
Subject: repost: Julie's Journal, #1
(The following is indeed fiction.)
Journal Entry #1
July 15, 1992
"I want to be tied with my hands above my head, and I want my
legs to be held apart, far apart. I don't want to be able to close them.
And I want to be blindfolded. I have to be. I don't want to see them, I
just want to feel them, you know? I have to have a gag... they can take
it off if they want to, for my...my mouth, but I don't want to speak. I
couldn't let myself. And maybe, can you get some cotton balls? If you
can tie the blindfold around my ears so it holds the cotton balls there,
then everything would be muffled and quiet. You have eyelets on your
bed, right? I left them, well, I'm sure you put them in already. I wonder
what your girlfriend will think of that. I suppose she'll never see them.
How many will be there? Where did you meet them? Not, like, at work,
I don't suppose. ....Did you?" I knew I was babbling but it didn't
matter. I waited for him to answer, and he took forever.
"Sorry, I was just making sure you were done."
"I'm done, I'm sorry, I know I'm really nervous and..."
"Yes, you are. It's okay, I have it all arranged for you, just
like you asked. I don't want to tell you how many will be there. I
don't want to tell you where I met them. Okay?"
"Yes, okay." I couldn't believe I was doing this. I had a
recurring fantasy, though, and it's not all the time you have the sort
of friend like Vaughn, who would put it all together for you. I met
him through the internet, which, I know, is strange. But I know all
of you understand, because, well, you're reading this, right? We met
through the newsgroup, and we were a half hour from each other in RL.
He was using wizvax, I was using wizvax-- something was bound to happen.
Now he's arranged this entire thing, and it's all happening tonight.
"I'm just drying my hair. I'll be there in about half an hour. Ok?"
"Okay," he said. "You just be calm, alright? Take deep breaths,
go slow. Don't want you hurt. I've never done anything like this before
either, you know?"
I knew. He was a sweet guy. Wonder if he's reading. He's one
of the best friend's a girl could have. And his girlfriend, too, even.
She's a little vanilla, but we get along. She's in Houston for this
particular weekend. Her timing is probably not a coincidence.
"Alright, see you then. Love you. Bye."
The click of the phone was incredibly final. Like the seal on
the whole thing. No going back.
I dried my hair, made it soft. It smelled so good. I think I'll
always associate Swiss Formula Henna Gold with this night forever. Driving
over my knuckles were white on the steering wheel. I felt like everyone was
staring at me. I was blushing all the way there. I'd never felt so hot. I
wasn't turned on, I was scared out of my mind. I wanted to stop and call
and say never mind, but too late now, I kept saying. I just drove.
He let me in without a word, as we discussed. When he took my coat,
and then my hand, everything we discussed washed away, because now that it
was happening, I was frantic. I was sweating, and he laughed in a toppish
way, which isn't what he always does. He didn't seem like the same person.
He took me to the back bedroom, and turned me around roughly, using
his hands sharply to take off my clothes. He tore my underwear down my legs
and wrenched the clasps of my bra. He nearly broke my hairclip. His breath
was fast and uneven. I turned around and pressed my hands against his
chest, begging him with my eyes, trying to tell him I wanted to change my
mind. But the safeword was firm, and I wasn't saying it. He slapped
me across my face, and it stung until tears welled and didn't stop. He
pushed me back, hard, onto the bed. He was grabbing my wrists and legs
in a rush of movement, and I struggled...I struggled even though I asked
for all of this, because I was so scared. I was so fucking scared, because
he was making it so real. He wasn't Vaughn, he was some guy tying me to
some strange bed, with intentions unknown. But I'm a small sort of girl,
and he had my wrists already in the leather cuffs and stretched far
above my head, and now my ankles were being dragged apart. The tendons
between my thighs stretched and I cried that they hurt. He loosened
the bonds, only a little. Then the blindfold, and the gag. He didn't
ever use the cottonballs.
The light was out. Behind the blindfold I could tell. But I
closed my eyes anyway. I didn't know how long I was going to wait like
this. I was so wide open, I could feel the air right up in me. Waiting
seemed like forever.
I suppose a while later I heard the doorbell ring. And Vaughn's
voice at the door invited someone in. They talked for a while. I could
hear, like, chipbags being opened, and sodas hissing as they were popped.
He'd gotten a regular little party going out there. The doorbell rang
again, and more people came in. Eventually I sort of dozed, listening
to the common sounds of a cocktail party, and mens voices so low like
bass. I was in a dark, warm room, on a soft bed.
Someone rang a glass with a fork, and all the voices dropped low.
Vaughn said something that I couldn't understand. He was probably trying
to explain why all these men were in his house. I thought he'd do that
when he asked them. The voices answered him, and some drunk man laughed
loudly and said, "No shit? Where is she?"
Even though I was in the back bedroom, and no one was with me, I
blushed deep. I think it was only then that I started getting actually
turned on. I could feel myself stirring, all heat inside. It made it
more embarrassing still.
Vaughn was saying something else, and suddenly I could hear
them all moving across the house, and the doorknob clinked. Vaughn
was right outside. "She's in here, and she's for all of you. Take
advantage. You've always wanted a woman this way." And then the
door creaked open. I couldn't see anything, but from the sudden
silence I knew they could all see me.
I started breathing really hard, feeling watched like that. I
thought about calling safeword. I'm never good at calling safewords,
but I was ready to, just then. I could hear them, feel them, even,
moving around, surrounding the bed. They all smelled of beer or
something. I wished Vaughn had given them breath mints, but as soon
as I thought that, I nearly laughed aloud. Here I was, tied and ready
to be used by...oh god, how many men were there?? I hadn't thought
about it. It could be three, it could be eight. I wanted to ask. I
moved a little on the bed, because no one was talking, and no one was
saying anything.
"Are you serious?" someone said at last.
Oh god oh god, this isn't going to work. My name is going to
be smeared on the bathroom walls of every place in this town.
"Damn, she's hot as hell!" the drunk voice said loudly. He
burped and someone laughed. "Who's gonna go first?"
There was no sound.
"Well then let me get my boots off," he said. I heard some
thumps, and then the bed pushed down in one corner. Safeword!!!!
His body was over mine suddenly, and he kissed my lips and the
gag. He had a beard and moustache. He had all his clothes on.
I could feel his hands on my shoulders. One of them went to my
breast, and he took my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
"Let's hear you," he said softly. He squeezed, hard and suddenly,
and I cried. It hurt so bad, so much more than when my lover does
it. I just cried out through the gag.
That must have done something to the room, because it broke
into some sort of commotion, most of which I couldn't understand,
most of which I couldn't concentrate on anyway. But the man released
my nipple and unzipped his pants. He rubbed my pussy for a moment,
and chuckled...at first I couldn't understand, but then I realized
I was hot, and wet. It was like a pornography scene. I had no idea
who was about to do what. I could feel his cock up against my
thigh, and then he opened me with his hands and slid in completely.
I moaned through the gag. He was so big compared to my lover.
God, the excitement...that he wasn't my SO was an extreme turn-on.
He started to fuck me suddenly, rocking me back on the bed. He was holding
himself up by his arms, and my breasts were moving forward and back.
Someone's mouth closed over one of my nipples, and I moaned again.
"Just...want...to...fuck...her..." the man said, pounding in and out
so I could feel it deep inside. The sensation was huge. I had a
sudden thought about Vaughn. Was he going to fuck me too? My friend?
Was he going to watch? Did he leave me here, discreetly? I couldn't
thin about that anymore. The drunk man had my other breast in his
hand, and he pinched my nipple hard again. I cried loudly, and I
felt him come, his body stiff against mine for a few seconds. I
couldn't feel any warmth inside. The condoms were in use, thank
goodness. I couldn't believe that this wildest fantasy of mine would
involve safe sex. But I couldn't risk anything.
The drunk man slapped my breast as he heaved himself off me.
The mouth on my breast continued to gently suckle. I fancied through
the pleasure that the mouth was Vaughn's, because it seemed so "nice."
There was another voice I became aware of. I don't really
remember all of the men distinctly, because most of them didn't say
anything, but this person had a soft, gentle voice. He sounded like
a librarian. From his voice I thought he'd be sort of mousy, maybe.
He was saying to someone that he had always liked foreplay, and holding
the woman, and romance, and equal orgasms, and loving, but he's often
wanted to just roll on top, fuck, and get the hell off and go do something
else until he wanted to fuck again. Another man was saying he'd
always wanted to bring a woman close to coming, and then stop, but his
lovers have always pouted and complained, and he's never been able to
do it. Another was saying he's always wanted to do this, and that.
They were all talking so fast, about sex, and I had started it. I
was like a centerpiece in a new sort of cocktail party.
I felt the drunk man's sweat drying on my body. The mouth on
my nipple had gone. I wondered if it was just over. Maybe they had to
be drunk in order to...
"I can't deal with this," someone said abruptly. There was
a slam of a door and then another, loud. I could hear his car pull away.
I nearly cried. My damned fantasy had hurt someone?? I didn't know
how to deal with it, I thought maybe I should call the whole thing
off... I still don't know what to do.
"It's alright," Vaughn's voice was saying. "He said he'd try
to at least watch. I guess he'll be okay."
The drunk man said loudly, "Why aren't the rest of you fucking
this meat?"
I blushed again, and felt turned on in a new wash. I squirmed
and moaned, trying to get them to touch me. I wanted it. I wanted it
to be like my fantasy.
I felt the bed being pushed down again. Someone was sitting, where,
at my head? And another between my legs. And I thought another, maybe.
One of the men took two fingers and nudged them against my
slit. Not inside, just on the outside, near the fur. He took his thumb
and pushed it against my clit. I was slick and he began to move his
thumb in hard, quick circles. Oh god, oh god. He didn't slide his
thumb across the skin, but moved the skin against my clit with his
tumb, relentlessly. Hard, quick circles. I raised my hips up and
tried to push against the fingers. He moved them back a little.
"Frustrated?" asked the voice gently. I moaned and pushed up again.
He let the tips slide in, his thumb still moving on my clit. I was
going to come so soon. I was, somewhere inside, embarrassed right
then that I had brought Vaughn into this at all.
The man kneeling at my head removed the gag. I didn't have
time to think. His cock was in my mouth. I nearly gagged, but he
brought it out a little, adjusted my head with his hands, and pumped
just the tip in and out, rapidly. He was moaning, but I was louder.
I was going to come hard, because some strange man was rubbing my
clit with his thumb, and about to force fingers into my pussy.
The man took almost no time to come in my mouth. I swallowed,
and found myself a little shocked to taste it. It tasted different
from my SOs, and it was a reminder, somehow...
The mouth was back on my breast, and heat washed through me.
I had a drop of cum on my chin, and I was trying to lick it off.
Someone roughly wiped it with the gag, and put the gag back in. The
hand pinched my nipple, and I whined. My hips were pushed into the
air, holding there uselessly, trying to fuck the fingers, trying to
come. I could feel it, I was on the edge.
The man removed his thumb and fingers suddenly. I groned my
disappointment.
"Get out of there, let me." It was the mousy voice.
A light, hairless chest was pressed against mine. He smelled
of cologne. He was really skinny, narrow hips that pushed a cock into
me. He pumped furiously, in and out, and I pumped back with my hips.
The ropes on my ankles were a little loose by now and I had my thighs
around him a little. He slapped my breast, told me to lie completely
still. I tried so hard to, but I was so turned on, so close to
coming. He slapped my cheek when I moved next. After that, with
the blindfold gathering my tears, I was completely still. He fucked me
hard and fast, like a bird's heartbeat, for what seemed like forever.
Then he stiffened against me, and called out some woman's name. Carol
or something. He said her name over and over into my ear as he came,
and when he was done he said, "Thanks for nothing, bitch."
I'll always remember that.
I think they were leaving after they were done, because I couldn't
hear the drunk man any more. And the mousy man said angrily, "Give me
my god-damned shirt, I'm leaving." The room felt a little more empty
and quiet. I was still shivering with sensation, wanting to come
even more now. I never could come with penetration alone.
I'd lost track of how many had come in me. The drunk man,
the man in my mouth, and the mousy man. There was still the man who
had nearly made me come. Where was he? I wanted him back, he felt
so good. And there was Vaughn, somewhere. And I was sure there
must be one other. And the angry man who couldn't deal had left.
I felt sort of silly keeping tabs.
Someone pushed the bed down again with their weight. They were
between my legs. I felt my ankles being dragged farther apart as someone
fixed the bonds. Maybe Vaughn.
There was a little clinking noise, and something extremely cold
on my nipples. The ice puckered them until they hurt. I made a noise,
and the person dragged the ice between them, and slowly down to my belly
button, and then lower still. My protests through the gag didn't do any
good. He moved the ice right down onto my clit. I nearly screamed, but
he passed beyond that and shoved the cube inside me. His fingers held
it in. I squirmed and cried and tried to squeeze my legs shut to melt
it more quickly.
From the door I could hear Vaughn and someone talking quietly.
"I wanted to thank you for coming," Vaughn said.
"Sure. I enjoyed it. I didn't know she would want something
like this to happen, though... I suppose I could have arranged it,
but she never asked me." He was whispering, but I knew it was him.
Oh god...My *SO*... I nearly died. I nearly safeworded. But I was
"nearly safewording" all night, I guess. "At least she almost came,"
he said to Vaughn. So that thumb was him, of course. No wonder I
liked it so much.
I moaned to the man with the ice. He had no more left. I could
hear him put the glass down on a table. I felt his tongue, sudden
and hot, against my clit. He circled it there, pushed it down inside
me slightly, and slid it around, and back up. He settled in, his tongue
touching me just right. He was so gentle compared to the others. His
breath was hot as he let it out, and when he took a breath, it felt cool,
and then hot again. He murmured, "Come for me, baby. Sweet thing."
I pushed up against his face, heedless of my SO and Vaughn,
who were probably still standing in the door. I twisted my head back
and forth, making myself dizzy. I pushed and moaned and felt his tongue
with every bit of my body. The orgasm came so suddenly I locked up.
I shook for a few seconds, unable to make a sound, and he didn't stop
moving his tongue. He stroked my clit until I was in pain from it.
I cried, made noises for him to stop, my body still doubling over,
coming and coming against him.
After a moment, he blew a puff of hot air against my clit
and lifted his head. His weight left the bed. I could hear him, though,
breathing. He was standing next to me.
A second later I felt a line of hot wetness fall across my breasts.
I got goosebumps everywhere as it cooled. "I came for you too, baby,
sweet thing," he said. Then he seemed to leave also.
I think at that point I was alone in the room. I could hear my
SO getting his keys, and Vaughn at the door saying goodbye.
I fell asleep.
I woke up to a warm washcloth across my breasts. The gag was
gone. I was surprised I hadn't woken up when that happened. I also
wasn't tied anymore. I mean, the cuffs were on, but I could move my
arms. The straps were still attached to me, but not the eyelets in the
bed. I took off the blindfold and opened my eyes. He had left the
light dim, thank goodness. He was washing the cum off my body. He
even washed between my legs with the warm water. It felt good. I
was sort of sore.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"I'm okay," I said. I felt sort of inadequet.
"Feeling good?"
I didn't know. I really don't know now.
"Wasn't *quite* like the fantasy. But good enough."
Vaughn laughed a little. "I should hope so. You ever want to
do this sort of "fantasy come true" thing again, you call me, ok?"
"Sure," I said. I haven't thought about calling him, though.
We did go for coffee last weekend. We talked about his girlfriend's
trip to Houston. Her grandmother died. It wasn't appropriate to
let him in on my latest, though. Maybe in a few days I'll call him
Maybe he'll read this and take the Hint. Hint hint.
I also never talked to him about my SO showing up for the
little scene, you know? I mean, I suppose I don't mind it. I know
*he* didn't mind it...but part of the excitement was supposed to be
the breaking of the monogamy, sort of. I guess we're not completely
monogamous, though. I mean, obviously. But anyway.
I slept over with Vaughn that night, after a long shower. I
slept hard, too. He was great to sleep with, snuggled warm. We
even moved over to the waterbed. And he kept the dog in the back
yard for me. I'm not a dog person. But, anyway.
Yours,
Julie
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