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Orgasms Are Wonderful Things
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
Subject: Orgasms are wonderful things...
Date: Sun, 20 Sep 1992 05:13:13 GMT
[The following is fact. The names have not been changed to protect
the innocent, since none of the folks in here are all that innocent.]
Well, there was one bright spot in what has been an otherwise gloomy
day for me...
A few of you know that I am a unique entity on the net. I read
asb and use IRC from a church. I live in an apartment above
the offices, lounges, and library, and work in various capacities
here, primarily as subdeacon and as an "independent security contractor"
(read: I lock up the building, throw the homeless and drunken folk out,
and call the police when they won't go willingly).
This is a fairly liberalchurch, mind you. Although the rector
might do a double-take if he found out that I have interests in B/D
activities, he really wouldn't mind. We regularly send our most
uncloseted gay person (a large man who is a great cook, owns many...
creative hats, and whose favorite t-shirt reads "Someday my sweet prince
will come") to diocesan conferences in fact...a practice that never
fails to annoy people in this ultra-conservatice diocese...especially
since he went to a costume party for the bishop dressed as a "fairy
godmother, carrying an 8" long, 2" diameter magic wand."
This church is also liberal in another sense. Four people live in
this apartment: yours truly, and three women, named Claudette, Amy,
and Nicky. I finally have the sisters I always wanted! Even
though Nicky is a bit too modest. She got very embarassed last
week when watching "The Life of Brian" at the chapel's movie night
during Brian's nude scene. She also turned the nicest shade
of red when Claudette hung a sketch of a nude male in our living
room.
Anyway, Nicky last night had an important first. Even though she's
slept with many men...particularly in the past two weeks...she's never
had an orgasm...until last night.
I woke up last night around 4am to the sounds of Nicky screaming.
I stuck my head out of my bedroom to see what was going on...only to
have a naked Nicky go running by into Amy's room babbling excitedly,
throwing in every now and then, "OmyGAWD! What WAS that?!" Amy
replied grogilly, "Hush child! It was only an orgasm. Geez! You'd
think you'd never had one before!" and then rolled over and promptly
started snoring again.
Nicky replied with a rather breathless "Oh!" and headed back to her
room. She did turn a really cute shade of red when she walked by
me, with my head out the door and a "Have fun?" type expression on
my face. She promptly hurried past, ran into her room (where an
obviously amused Greg was waiting), and slammed the door.
For some reason, Nicky just couldn't look directly at me today. ;)
Poor child. She's become such a slut recently, but she is such
a sweet person.... And that Greg wasn't too bad looking himself... :)
Ah well, I just thought I'd pass along that anecdote for your
newsreading pleasure.
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