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Prudes & Virgins Digest - V1N6
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
Prudes and Virgins Digest, v.1 #6 (NOT13) Mon Dec 5 15:12:04 PST 1988
WARNING: This digest may contain material not suitable for
Reader's Digest. Do not read if you find this type of
material offensive.
Contributions: pvdigest@ernie.Berkeley.EDU
Comments: nj@ernie.Berkeley.EDU
Mailing List requests: pvdigest-request@ernie.Berkeley.EDU
The Prudes and Virgins Digest is freely redistributable.
-- nj
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Date: Thu, 1 Dec 88 11:15:22 PST
>From: Reginald
Subject: Interesting positions I have discovered
Contact: reg3
Good evening.
Recently, whilst engaged in--well, let's be perfectly frank,
this is an open forum after all--intercourse with my wife, i
discovered an amazing new position, in which the female partner
occupies what might be called the "dominant" or "top" position, rather
than the more proper bottom position. We were curious as to whether
anyone else has tried this revolutionary concept. We're rather afraid
to admit it in public, since I think it falls outside of the bounds of
general decency and propriety...but, as the common people say, life is
too short not to "live it up" a little, eh what?
Reginald
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Date: Thu, 1 Dec 88 21:43:05 PST
>From: Jonathan
Subject: A question
Contact: jonp
I've been thinking about...er...well, you know, and...um...I was just
wondering if...if...you know...has anyone ever had any experience doing...
I mean does anyone know any good techniques for...oh never mind.
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Date: Fri, 2 Dec 88 10:02:33 PST
>From: GERTRUDE
Subject: KISSING
Contact: gert5
DEAR PRUDES AND VIRGINS DIGEST.
MY BOYFRIEND KEEPS TELLING ME IT IS OKAY TO KISS EACH OTHER ON THE LIPS AND
NOT KEEP OUR LIPS PUCKERED SECURELY. IS THIS NORMAL?
GERTRUDE
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Date: Fri, 2 Dec 88 11:15:56 PST
>From: Robert
Subject: confessions...
Contact: robertw
ive never told anyone else about this before, but i thought
you all might like to hear about it. it all started one night when i
was studying for a physics test all alone in a classroom and this girl
walked in and sat down and started studying. i couldn't help but
notice her most prominent features. i had a hard time concentrating
on my textbook. all i could think about was introducing myself to
her. i imagined myself walking up to her--actually walking up to a
real woman--and GREETING her. i reached down and started idly playing
with my calculator as i fantasized. i thought of asking her out for
frozen yogurt. i thought of "accidentally" brushing against her round,
soft hands. i couldn't stand it. i had to do it. but then she got
up and left.
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Date: Fri, 2 Dec 88 16:49:23 PST
>From: Samuel
Subject: What turns you on?
Contact: samt
Hey I dont know about all you guys but I get really aroused whenever a girl
says "Have a nice day" to me. Is this weird? Should I go see a shrink?
The short women in "Willow" really turn me on to.
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Date: Sat, 3 Dec 88 15:35:01 PST
>From: Linda
Subject: hi
Contact: lindal
um hi im new to this sex thing but the guy im with keeps telling me
its ok im not supposed to enjoy it as much as he does,,,is that right?
and what does he mean when he tells his friends "she don't care i've
only got three inches"? thankyou
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Date: Fri, 2 Dec 88 13:22:42 PST
>From: Melville
Subject: Hot digitized pix!
Contact: mel2
Hey "dudes", I got lots of ]<OOL digitized pictures. They're all very
-->REVEALING<-- if you know what i mean *wink*. I've got Betty White
in a low-cut gown, I've got Oprah Winfrey in a _miniskirt_ (and I do
mean MINI!!!) and the best of them all is my pic of LINDA RONSTADT
wearing a BIKINI!!!!! And if THAT don't turn you on you MUST be
weird!!! Write me for more info!!!!!! (I want to TRADE too...I've
been looking for a good Shirley Jones for "MILLENNIAS"!!!!)
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Date: Sat, 3 Dec 88 17:12:29 PST
>From: Patrick
Subject: "Bondage"
Contact: rickb
Hello--
Does anyone know anything about "bondage"? Is it like, "male
bonding"?
Thanks.
Patrick
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Date: Sat, 3 Dec 88 18:22:03 PST
>From: Elizabeth
Subject: Nightwear
Contact: lizb
Dear Prudes and Virgins Digest,
This is ever so awkward, but i was wondering what your readers would
consider to be...ummm....attractive... in the way of nightwear. Do the
readers prefer cotton, flannel or rayon full lenghth nightgowns? Is there
a tendency towards prints or solids? Fitted or roomy?
This is truly a burning question on my mind, as just the other evening as
my husband Percy and I were each reading various exerpts from Better Homes
and Gardens Do-It Yourself Guide to Home Remodeling and Percy commented
that perhaps to lend excitement to our marriage in much the same way our
new storm windows add pizazz to our living room I should invest in some new
nightwear. I hope your readers can assist me in my shopping endeavors.
Elizabeth
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Date: Sat, 3 Dec 88 20:49:13 PST
>From: J. Jacob
Subject: Re: "Oral Majority"
Contact: jjc
That's DISGUSTING! You are SICK SICK SICK!!! To think that they even LET
people like you in...why, why I'll bet you even vote DEMOCRAT!!!! Brother
Falwell should kick ALL of you commie bastards out!!!!!!!
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Date: Sat, 3 Dec 88 23:13:52 PST
>From: Hanna
Subject: Wild fantasies
Contact: hrb
Dear P and V Digest
Just the other day I engaged in the most unbelievable
fantasy :^). I needed to study for my Chaucer exam and
ducked into what I'd hoped to be an unused classroom.
Well, this was the furthest from the truth. There was a
young man in this room, but I was feeling a bit, shall we
say devil-may-care, and i brought my books in and sat in a desk
about two or three rows over from the young man. He was
quite attactive, what with his neatly manicured hands and
crisply shaved sideburns, and his shirt was neatly pressed
as well. I very much wanted him to approach me, and to
offer me a refreshment of some sort. We could discuss
literature or this season's choice of music here with the
University Symphony or perhaps the social happening next week
at the Christian Center. My thoughts ranged even further into
the future, about how, if we were married, we could have wild,
frenzied family picnics.
His shoes were neatly buffed, and he was reading what appeared
to be some scientific manual or text, and he must have
been an intelligent and well-mannered young man, and he would
been an excellent conversationalist, and, well, just thinking
of him *talking* to me got me so....ruffled.... i just had to
go get a lemonade from the Cafeteria and I left quickly
even before I could review my most recent notes.
Hanna [[ last name
withheld--nj ]]
PS -- Please assign an alias and a mailbox to me; many people
in my school read News and I wouldn't want them to get the wrong
impression of me.
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End of Prudes and Virgins Digest
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--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to [email protected]
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
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